Nightfall At PCA
Klaus Schilling
Abstract
The story describes the way of Dustin Brooks at PCA after the expulsion of his elder sister Zoey.
Table of Contents
- Introduction
- 1. Pilot
- 2. New Life
- 3. Stalking A Rock Star
- 4. Lucky
- 5. Car Lifters
- 6. Naughty Megan
- 7. PCA Middle School dance
- 8. Euka Of Eudonia
- 9. Helen’s Blindness
- 10. One Night In Hospital
- 11. All Those Years Ago
- 12. Infight
- 13. Halloween Horror
- 14. When The Baldwins Come
- 15. The Parker Nichols Show
- 16. A Song For Dustin
- 17. Droid Clash
- 18. Deep Space Invasion
- 19. Spring Break
- 20. Depressive
- 21. Summer Time
- 22. Hurt
- 23. Rats And Dogs
- 24. If I were a hammer
- 25. Stacey At Belleview
- 26. The Empty House
- 27. The Rainy Night
- 28. Beach Estate
- 29. Japanese Candy
- 30. Finale
Tip
Primary Fandoms. Zoey 101, Drake & Josh
Secondary Fandoms. iCarly, Unfabulous, Ned’s Declassified SSG
Peripheral fandoms. Victorious, Big Time Rush, True Jackson VP, Just Jordan, Shredderman Rules, Fairly Odd Movie, Best Player, Spectacular!
Genres
Fluff, Family, Friends, Science Fiction, Supernatural, Adventure, Horror, Mystery
Summary
Having ridiculed the memory of the boarding school’s foundation father, overprotective Zoey Brooks gets expelled from “Pacific Coast Academy” and transferred to Belleview.
Will his sister’s absence be rather a boon or an impediment for her young brother Dustin?
What will his friends do?
Zoey will still exercise some influence on the life at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Will a certain girl from San Diego change his life?
The conscious decisions of both Zoey and Dustin Brooks change the course of the events as layed out in Zoey 101 and some of the other shows and movies.
Characters and Pairings
A big variety of people from the above shows and movies is involved.
Pairings include Dustin Brooks – Megan Carlotta Parker[megan carlotta parker], Zoey Brooks – Steven “Spencer” Shay[steven shay], Quinn Pensky – Joshuah Nichols, Lola Martinez – Drake Parker, Michael Barret – Wendy Gellar[wendy gellar], Chase Matthews – Addie Singer[addie singer], Logan Reese – Miranda “Makeout” Franklin[makeout mandy], Stacey Dillsen[stacey]
– Eric Blonowitz[eric blonowitz], Nicole Bristow – Nicholas Webber[nicholas webber], Dana Cruz – Duke Blatzberg[duke blatzberg], Dean Carl Rivers – Mrs. Hayfer, Coco Wexler – Walter Nichols, Lisa Perkins – Spencer Carter[spencer carter], Audrey Parker – Chaunsey[chaunsey], Helen Baxter – Malcolm Reese[1], Mindy Crenshaw – Wayne “Firewire” Gilbert et cetera
Timeline
The beginning is a midrash on pre-canon hints found within Zoey 101.
Then the story diverges off Zoey 101‘s mainline during Prank Week.
At the same time, Drake & Josh is supposed to be in second season, Ned’s Declassified SSG and Unfabulous are in their first season
Any other show or movie have not yet started.
Background
This story is also written for pompt Suffocate of Livejournal community Tamingthemuse.
This story is also written for pompt The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow. of Livejournal community 50 Passages.
This story is also written for pompt Night of Livejournal community Crossovers 50.
This story is also written for Livejournal community 30 Nights, one prompt per chapter.
[megan carlotta parker] This identifies Carly Shay from iCarly with Megan Parker from Drake & Josh.
They are also identified with Paige Howard from Zoey 101 : Paige At PCA.
[steven shay] Spencer Shay from iCarly is identified with same character’s recurring character “Crazy” Steve
[wendy gellar] Wendy appears only in Drake & Josh : Number One Fan.
The family name is taken from same actress’s character in Camp Rock, a movie not owned by me, either.
This Wendy is identified with a Wendy mentioned casually in Zoey 101 : Lola Likes Chase as a former unrequited crush of Dustin Brooks’s.
[addie singer] Addie Singer, star of Unfabulous, is identified with same actress’s cameo in Drake & Josh : Honor Council, a girl helping Megan Parker to annoy Josh Nichols.
[makeout mandy] Mandy Franklin, aka “Makeout Mandy”, is only casually mentioned in Zoey 101 : Chasing Zoey as a potential fake prom date of Logan Reese.
She is here identified with a cameo character from Drake & Josh : Football, a cheerleader equally named “Mandy” by Drake Parker.
[stacey] This recurring character from late Zoey 101 is identified with same actress’s cameo in iCarly : iStart A Fanwar
[eric blonowitz] This recurring character from late Drake & Josh is identified with same actor’s cameo in iCarly : iStart A Fanwar
[nicholas webber] Nicholas Webber only appears in Zoey 101 : School Dance
[duke blatzberg] identifies Duke from iCarly : iHatch Chick with Blatzberg from Zoey 101 : Wrestling
[spencer carter] Spencer is from Ned’s Declassified SSG : School Plays.
The surname is from same actor’s cameo in one episode of Amanda Show.
Do not confuse him with aforementioned Spencer Shay!
[chaunsey] from Zoey 101 : Spring Break-Up
[1] from Zoey 101 : Spring Break-Up
Table of Contents
Dustin Brooks had been an average boy born in Louisiana.[birth in louisiana].
His ancestors, on the other hand, were from Massachusetts[ancestors from massachusetts].
His dad was a travelling sales agent for a multinational syndicate. He switched places a lot.
A transfer abroad was to be expected for sooner or later.
Not much of a surprise was thus the early move of the Brooks family to California. More precisely, they had to find a new home in San Diego County.
In order to make it there, Jeff Glazer Brooks MD[dr glazer], had helped his monozygotic twin brother and his family to find a new home.
Zoey Brooks, elder sister of Dustin Brooks by four years, went to elementary school at Bushmond[bushmond].
Dustin would have gone the same way.
But he had begged in order to be allowed to go to a boarding school. “That’s cool and a lot more fun!”
According to uncle Glazer, the best boarding school of California was one known as “Pacific Coast Academy”. “Most Californian medics have graduated from there.”
The decision was thus clear.
Dustin was sent to “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Unfortunately the school was only for boys.
Zoey was thus not allowed there.
Until one day …
A bit more than three years had gone by since Dustin’s departure from San Diego County.
Mrs. Brooks[mrs brooks]
was looking through the daily mail.
One of the envelopes was clearly recognisable as belonging to Dustin’s school.
Mrs. Brooks was worried. “Aw my gosh! This is from Dean Rivers, the headmaster of ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. Dustin must have committed something very bad.” With fears growing inside deep her soul, she opened the letter.
Alas. the epistle had not been about little Dustin Brooks at all.
Mrs. Brooks’s eyes bugged out. She read, “we are pleased to announce the following changeds Starting with next academic year, girls will be allowed as students at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’, due to popular demands and a recent decision of the school’s board.”
This had been great news for Mrs. Brooks.
Of course, she had always wished to be able to send Zoey to the same school as Dustin. She would have felt safer. She knew her daughter as extremely caring and porotective of her sometimes overly adventurous little brother.
This had already started even before Dustin’s birth.
And Zoey had only been three or four years by then.
It had been exciting for the rest of the family, as well.
Dustin’s feelings were, however, quite mixed.
During the terms, he had been missing Zoey badly.
But Zoey’s protective and patronising demeanour had often given him the creeps during the term breaks.
Zoey had been adamantly opposed to Dustin having some fun.
Or so it must have seemed.
Zoey had always objected to Dustin climbing high trees, crossing the streets with his bike during rush hours, skating without a helmet, playing with power chainsaws, and many other fun things. She had been much more stern than mom and dad in the case of Dustin’s obsession with candy, in particular gummi worms, the main addiction of the little guy.
This annoyed Dustin to no end.
How were things like these going to turn out after Zoey’s transfer to “Pacific Coast Academy”?
Zoey’s feelings were a bit strange, too.
At Bushmond, Zoey had always been known as the little blond Mary Sue par excellence.
Many of the boys had been hankering crazily after the attractive blonde.
This had made most of the other girls envious to no end.
The worst of all enemies had been one Katie Packerman[katie packerman]
The competition between Zoey and Katie had been murderous.
Zoey’s move away from Bushmond appeared to be sort of a relief.
On the one hand, being accepted by a very prestigeous prepschool, the blatantly best of California, was going to make Zoey look like a shining winner.
On the other hand, it may have looked like an attempt by Zoey’s of escaping competition.
Zoey was thusly urged to keep on shining and impressive.
Everyone in California was supposed to be familiar with Zoey Brooks, at least one day.
Zoey’s main dream was that of becoming a fashion designer.
But this was not a streamlined career to her parents’ liking.
They always wanted Zoey to make it to an ivy league law school or business school.
Zoey had soon found a bunch of new friends.
There were her room mattes, viz. Nicole Bristow and Dana Cruz.
Dana was an abrasive tomboy of more or less Mexican origin.
Nicole was an annoyingly bubbly bimbo wench from Kansas. She was very shallow and obsessed with beauty, and especially with cute boys.
Unfortunately, Dana and Nicole were often fighting over stupoid little things.
This was not easy for Zoey.
The blond Mary-Sue had even moved out for a while, sharing a dorm with creepy nerd girl Quinn pensky.
The latter had got very lofty ideas about science and nature. She performed a variety of experiments, using her dorm as a laboratory.
Zoey was equally annoyed by her. Soon, she was unable to bear Quinn’s scientific activities any longer, thence returning to Dana and Nicole in order to keep them from killing each other.
Then there were also a few boys.
One of them was bushy Chase Bartholomew Matthews. He was easily seen as having got a terrific crush on Zoey.
Chase’s Afro-American sidekick, Michael Barret, wanted to urge him to fess up, but in vain.
Their third roomie was Logan Reese, son of one of the greatest producers of Hollywood, ever. He had got the money and pretended to be the one to command others around, just for that reason. He was a total jerk and male chauvinist, making fun of the girls every other moment, bith secretly and in the open.
Zoey had a hard time getting along with Logan.
But it had to be.
Zoey had been accepted into the school’s basketball team, after some struggle, especially due to the stubborn resistance of Logan.
In the begiunning, Dustin had been her greatest fan. He was happy about Zoey’s move to “Pacific Coast Academy”.
But Zoey grew very popular within just a few days.
Dustin, on the other hand, felt more and more suffocated by Zoey’s protective demeanour. He would have preferred getting bullied to the death by some mean middle school kids than exposing himself to exorbitant humiliation and embarrassment by relying on his sister’s help.
Chase and Michael had been able to dissuade Zoey from protecting Dustin openly.
But this was not an easy thing, at least not on the long run.
But one night, Zoey’s luck was going tp change rapidly.
The sun had gone asleep beyond the waves of the mighty Pacific.
Some boys, instigated by Logan Reese, started polluting the walls of the girls’ dormitory blocks.
It was the begin of the annual prank week, a long tradition at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Girls were all new, and thence they were collective victims of the pranks.
Many girls were up for revenge.
This was especially valid for Dana, Nicole, and Quinn.
Zoey, on the other hand, tried to calm them down, not wanting to sink down to the level of Logan Reese.
But the boys continued their disgusting and abomonable onslaughts on the girls.
Finally, Zoey changed her mind. She decided to get back at the boys by “ornating” a brass statue in front of the boys’ dormitory block, making it look like a busty woman.
Too bad, the statue was of Mr. Bradford, the founder of “Pacific Coast Academy”.[bradford].
The next day, the son of the aforementioned founder showed up for a visit.
Dean Carl Rivers accompanied the old man across the campus.
Of course, Mr. Bradford wanted to see his father’s statue. Needless to day, he was very little amused upon realising the state of his father’s counterfeit.
Dean Rivers went pale. He had been taking care of the statue getting polished and so on.
So, what was this?
Mr. Bradford insisted in looking for the guilty ones and punishing him with all rigour.
The girls fessed up.
Mr. Bradford had always been opposed to coeducation.
This made his decision totally easy.
He ordered to expel all girls again, ands make the school once more boys-only, “as it should have been for good.”
Most of the girls were consternated.
Now Zoey fessed up to being the head of the girls and the originator of the idea. She begged for her pals.
Mr. Bradford nodded. He allowed the other girls to stay, expelling only Zoey Brooks.
But the barbie girl had to apologise for her evil deeds in frnt of the whole school.
Pupils, teachers, and staff were united once more, awaiting the last words of Zoey Brooks on the campus of
Mr. Bradford said a few words, too.
Suddenly, the statue of his father’s started to pee.
Everyone barring Mr. Bradford and Dean Rivers started laughing.
The grumpy owner of the institution was, of course, upset and looking for the culprits.
This time, the boys fessed up.
But many girls chimed in, too.
Dean Rivers wondered, “Do I have to expel them all?”
Mr. Bradford did not really answer. He departed thence, all grumpy and disgusted.
Logan admitted to having come up with the plan in order to keep Zoey at “Pacific Coast Academy”. “Whom else am I supposed to torture?” He grinned sadistically.
Should Zoey have been glad about this turn?
She loved life at “Pacific Coast Academy”, and being with her new friends.
But living at the mercy of the biggest jerk ever under the red hot californian sun chained and oppressed her conscience like a large iron ball.
Zoey had to decide whether to accept this humiliatrion or to leave “Pacific Coast Academy” anyways. She panted heavily.
Everyone glared at Zoey.
A few minutes passed in silence.
Finally, Zoey Brooks spoke up. “Thanks, but I’m leaving. I can’t live at a school controlled by some reckless jerk.” She stomped her feet and walked out on the crowed, following Dean Rivers and Mr. Bradford to the administrational building.
Her fellow pupils were now consternated.
Chase Matthews almost threw up. He was too much of a coward to scream about his wasted occasion. He felt his life leaving “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Michael took care of him.
Zoey’s dad fetched his daughter from the campus entrance.
Dustin stood at the car, as well. Was he going to miss his sister? Or was he going to rejoice in the freedom gained this way?
Zoey was not quite at ease leaving him behind. She hoped for Michael and Chase to care about Dustin like for a little brother of theirs.
Maybe Dustin was better off with an elder brother or two than with an annoyingly overprotective elder sister.
Mr. Brooks started the car’s engines.
Zoey wondered about her future. She could hardly return to Bushmond. She would have to suffer from excruciating humiliation.
Especially Katie Peckerman would have made Zoey’s life worse than ten years in hell.
Lincoln[lincoln], another school in their district, was known for its dumb jocks, hardly better than Logan Reese.
Mr. Brooks had chosen yet another school in San Diego: Belleview.
[birth in louisiana] according to Zoey 101 : Robot Wars, Zoey Brooks was from a small town in Lousiana
[ancestors from massachusetts] according to Zoey 101 : Dance Contest, Zoey’s grandparents lived in Boston
[dr glazer] Dr. Glazer appears in various cameos in Drake & Josh.
He is portrayed by the same actor as the father of Zoey and Dustin, a cameo figure in Zoey 101 : Pilot and Good-Bye, Zoey.
[bushmond] Bushmond‘s is mentioned in Drake & Josh : Smart Girl as an opponent of Belleview‘s team for the academic bowl.
[mrs brooks] Mrs. Brooks has only a cameo in Zoey 101 : Good-Bye Zoe
[katie packerman] Katie Packerman has only been mentioned in Zoey 101 : Miss PCA.
[bradford] cf. Zoey 101 : Prank Week
[lincoln] A school of this name occurs in Drake & Josh : Football
Table of Contents
During her short life at “Pacific Coast Academy”, Zoey Brooks had been the sunshine of its life.
But now the sun had disappeared in the west, casting long and dubious shadows over the inhabitants of this renowned institutrion.
Hear departure filled the whole atmosphere with oozing darkness.
This was most valid for one Chase Bartholomew Matthews.
The poor fellow was taunted to no end by his room pals Michael and Logan for having lost Zoey.
Michael would not have been mean to him.
But Logan bribed and corrupted Michael every now and then.
Both Chase and Michael could have kept Logan at bay when working together. But they lacked the guts and the determination to do so.
During Zoey’s short life at this school, she had inspired Chase and Michael to stand up against Logan, at least from time to time.
But there was now no such moral halt for the two of them.
Logan lived according to the motto “I will pay, thus I get to say”.
Nicole and Dana could not live in peace with each other due to the absence of Nicole.
This had been a problem even before Zoey’s departure.
Now it turned even worse.
The scraps were flying each evening.
Coco Wexler, the girls’ dorm adviser, was deperate.
Dean Rivers had to intervene. He decided sadistically to move Quinn Pensky into “101 Butler”, as a third roomie to Nicole and Dana.
The decision was not really a wise one.
This truth dawned pretty soon.
Dana called nerdy Quinn a hopeless spaz and bullied her into shutting up during her talks about scientific stuff.
The geek girl got back at Dana by brewing dangerous mixtures triggering some allergies.
Dana was too dumb to figure their origin.
Nicole kept on talking about cute boys.
Quinn invented lots of means in order to make Nicole shut up.
But none of them worked.
This had disastrous consequences during a project for public relations classes, taught by Mr. Bender.
Nicole and Dana were assigned partners, but they deliberately sabotaged and destroyed each other’s attempts, leaving an easy win for the rivaling team of Chase, Michael, and Logan.
The latter just hired his father’s crew in order to make a successful commercial for a new scooter.
Needless to say, the tensions between Nicole and Dana were now a lot worse.
According to Zoey’s “marvellous” plans, Chase and Michael would have been in charge with looking after Dustin. But they wear too weak and lacked any authority over the little daredevil.
Dustin enjoyed his freedom by using too many cheap candies.
His first choice were so-called bing-bongs[bingbongs]. They contained a lot of sugar and unhealthy additions.
.
His teeth would now rot really fast.
Even worse, Dustin started hankering after girls. He deemed this necessary in order to be the coolest guy on the campus and become more popular than Zoey.
And those girls would by no means have found Zoey’s approval, not in hundreds of years.
Only a week after Zoey’s departure, Dustin slithered into his first date.
His girlfriend was Ashley Blake[ashley blake]
, an obsessively arrogant Hollywood tween star.
Chase and Michael did not even get to know about that.
Ashley did not like green candy, especially gummi bears. She hired Dustin to sort them out.
He was permitted to sit next to her and eat the green sweets. He was addicted to those as much as to bing-bongs.
This was hardly any good.
Ashley did not really love Dustin. She just used him as a target for practising making out with vulgar boys. As a Hollywood star, she was sooner or later forced to do so on screen.
Dustin did not notice thios.
And nobody on the campus was able to warn him.
The sun rose to the east of San Diego.
But it was a treacherous morning, unable to kill the inner darkness of certain people.
Many students flocked into the locker hall
For the first time, Zoey Brooks was among them. She heard many kids laugh about one huge-headed high school boy.
The words: “High pressure” got repeated over and over.
Zoey asked one of the students, a certian Kelly Hayfer[kelly hayfer]
, for an explanation.
Too bad, Kelly laughed incessantly all the time.
Zoey shook her head. She had to ask someone else.
There was one totally hot-looking guy.
His voice appeared vaguely familiar unto Zoey.
He carried a guitar case along.
Zoey gasped, thinking “is this possible? Drake Parker? Is he a student at this school?”
Drake Parker was a teenage rock idol.
His career had started just a few months ago.
He had subbed for world-renowned Devin Malone[devin malone] due to a broken hand of the latter.
Inspite of the young carreer, Zoey, like so many other southern Californian girls, was a total fan of Drake’s music. She was particularly addicted to his song Highway to nowhere[highway to nowhere].
That tune had already eaten her brain.
Zoey wanted an autograph.
Drake grinned. “A kiss for an autograph, baby!”
Zoey was disgusted by this daring deal. “No way! Then I only want an explanation for the ‘high-pressure zone’ stuff.”
Drake shrugged. “My step-brother Josh had been talking in weather channel, assisting his dad.”
Zoey wondered, “Walter Nichols or Bruce Windchill[bruce windchill]
?”
Drake replied, “Walter Nichols. It was embarrassing. Josh suffers from twitching attacks, and he sweats a lot when under pressure. High pressure, you know? Weather forecasts … I never understand them, though..”
Josh walked over to them. “Drake, you can’t let me hang.”
Drake sighed. “OK, maybe you think differently about my offer. Here’s my number, babe!” He waved and disappeared with Josh in their class room.
Drake grunted, “English with Mrs. Hayfer. That stinks!”
Zoey shrugged. She did not know any of the teachers at her school, and thus she was not able to judge it. But she pitied Josh for his nervous problems.
Chase Matthews was a gifted playwright. He had written a play for the drama class of “Pacific Coast Academy”, a comic romance between an alien girl and a bay guard.
This was just an elective.
There were schools not far from Malibu specialised in the entertainment business, such as a certain “Hollywood School of Arts”.
The drama club of “Pacific Coast Academy” was thus of a fairly low level.
Ashley Blake would not have considered a participation below her dignity.
But the topic of the play interested her. She could finally get Dustin to kiss her, as a practice for kissing vulgar boys in real movies.
Chase didn’t really care about his work anymore. He had written it with himself and Zoey Brooks as the main actors in mind.
Since Zoey’s departure, the play had become absolutely meaningless for him.
Thus there was no dispute about the main rôle.
Dustin and Ashley were going to perform a kissing scene in front of hundreds of people.
Zoey Brooks strolled her new locker hall. She discovered a bulletin board with many anounces.
Josh asked, “sign up for science club?”
Zoey coughed like a rusty steam engine. “No way! I’ve always hated Wayne Gilbert form my former school’s science club. And my ‘friend’ Quinn Pensky is such a pest. I can’t be like that!”
Josh sighed. “Then it’s once more just me and Mindy. That girl will ruin my life.”
Zoey wondered, “who or what is Mindy?”
Josh explained, “Melinda Crenshaw, a bad girl from the science club. But she’s on the top of all the honours rolls.”
Zoey looked around. “Impressive! Hey, there’s a talent shop!”
Josh moaned, “I always fail miserably. I want to participate as an illusionist, like the great Henry Doheny[2], but they all laugh about me, not my tricks. And then there’s the problem with my nerves.”
Zoey sighed deeply.
Josh added, “making it worse, my little bratty step-sister Megan, Drake’s sister, has uploaded everything to the interweb. Now the whole world is going to laugh about me!”
Megan was not much older than Dustin. But she was one cunning vixen, and a friend of aforementioned Ashley Blake.
Zoey moaned, “bad, bad, bad Megan!”
Josh sighed for despair. “Have you got a talent?”
Zoey scratched her long barbie hair. “I don’t think fashion design is ssuited for a talent show.”
Drake walked up to them. “Sounds interesting, though. I could definitely need some new outfit for my concert. The one made by my manager’s girlfriend stinks to hell and back.”
Zoey sighed. “OK! Not a problem. Let’s talk about it later on!”
Drake nodded and fixed a cup of ginger ale from a vendor’s machine. “Sometime youy need to kick those babies!”
Zoey gasped. Oh, those automata. Probably. Hey, I could try to dance. I’ve learned it from my grandma.[talent for dancing]
Drake coughed. Josh has invented some crazy dances.
Josh nodded. “Correct! Maybe we can dance together?”
Zoey shrugged. “We can try to do so, at least. And we better start practising tonight.”
Josh nodded. “Let’s meet at ‘Première Theater’.”
Zoey sighed. “I’ll find a way there, or so I hope.”
Drakle grinned. “Bingo! That’s my new song.[found a way]”
Zoey entered aforementioned cinema for the first time.
The owner of the established theatre, Helen Baxter, was a former film diva[film diva helen]. She was an old miser and very domineering.
Josh worked here in order to earn money for college. But he was often enough treated poorly.
There were a few other strange employees.
The most annoying was one “Crazy Steve”, some sort of a psychopath around twenty-five years old.
Gavin Mitchell, a guy in his thirties, was totally lame.
Zoey was going to get to know them better at some later point.
Other guests entered the hall.
Among them, there were two freaks, viz. Eric Blonowitz and Craig Ramirez. They gave Zoey the creeps.
Especially Eric tried to hit on Zoey. He tried to lure her with his deadpan humour.
Zoey was little amused and pushed him away. She had no time to lose. “OK, Josh, let’s dance!”
Josh started twitching.
Zoey felt the vibes. “Hey, that can be fun. I like that dance!”
Josh grinned.
Drake sighed. “They will beat me. My only talents are playing the guitar and kissing.”
Gavin shrugged. “Take it easy, pal!”
“Crazy Steve” shouted like an idiot. But he could not break Josh’s and Zoey’s stride.
The talent shop was taking place in the cabaret of “Première Theater”, and moderated by Helen Baxter.
Drake was consternated.
Another band had stolen his song, viz. Found A Way.
This Drake started grabbing some hot random girl and making out, proving his supreme qualities as a great kisser.
Alas, kissing was not exactly a talent valued at talent shows.
The audience yawned for increasing boredom.
Finally, Helen Baxter called Josh and Zoey up to the stage.
Zoey whispered a few words into Josh’s ears.
He was still nervous. But he nodded and told Drake, “play Highway to Nowqhere for us”!
Drake gasped.
The song was no longer new.
Drake had alreeady played it at the last talent shop.
But the dance was new.
Thus it didn’t matter.
Drake’s guitar filled the air with some rocking sound.
Josh and Zoey appeared to whirl the night away.
The audience made the hall burst for applause.
Even Megan Parker cheered for Josh. “Go, Joshie!”
Helen could not help but declare Josh and Zoey the winners of the talent contest.
The barbie girl and the big-headed freak high-fived.
Suddenly, Zoey’s cellular phone rang.
She picked it up and walked into some silent place. She heard some cackling sound from beyond. “Wayne?”
Wayne “Firewire” Gilbert replied, “hi Zoey! This will interest you. Tonight, Dustin has performed for ‘Pacific Coast Academy’ drama club, along with with a renowned Hollywood starlet. It was a great performance.”
Zoey smiled. “I’m so proud of him.”
This seemed to be one perfect evening.
But Wayne was not done. “At thend, Dustin and Ashley were kissing on the stage. For seven seconds!”
Zoey’s good mood turned into disgust and dismay.
She had to throw up on and passed out on site.
[bingbongs] cf. Zoey 101 : Defending Dustin
[ashley blake] from Drake & Josh : Little Diva
[kelly hayfer] from Drake & Josh : Mean Teacher
[devin malone] from Zoey 101 : The Guitar
[highway to nowhere] third-party owned song by Drake Bell
[bruce windchill] mentioned several times throughout Drake & Josh
[2] cf. Drake & Josh : The great Doheny
[talent for dancing] cf. Zoey 101 : Dance Contest.
[found a way] Dound A Way is a third-party owned song by Drake Bell
[film diva helen] cf. Drake & Josh : Helen’s Surgery
Table of Contents
Ere the rise of sun, Zoey had recovered from her loss of consciousness.
Mom and dad were with her.
Zoey was totally worried. “I need to save Dustin! Ashley Blake is such a snobbish diva, She’s going to break his heart down the middle!”
Mom and dad had got a very hard time calming down their barbie-girl daughter.
Dad shook his head. “Thirty years ago, there was a little boy. He started dating girls. But they were always the wrong ones.”
Zoey moaned, “and then?”
Dad continued, “the little, well, half-the-way grown up boy, started learning from his mistakes. And then he came to know your mom. And without all the experiences, mom would have been no more tghan one of a million girls in his eyes. But he had learnt to appreciate her for the unique woman she was. Otherwise, there woouldn’t be Dustin and you.”
Zoey sighed deeply and hugged her dad. “OK!” Of course, she wasn’t over that so fast.
Mom continued, “if he gets hurt, you will be there for him and show him what a wonderdful family he has got to rely on. Please don’t rush it! He could hate you for that.”
Zoey kept on moaning. But she let it be, at least for the moment being.
In the end, the kiss between Dustin and Ashley did not hurt her as much as something else.
She had really trusted Dustin into the hands of Michael Barret nd Chase Bartholomew Matthews.
And Chase had been in charge with the play. He of all should have beemn able to dissuade Dustin, or at least to inform Zoey in time.
But nothing like that had happened.
Only Wayne “Firewire” Gilbert, the creepy nerd, had finally informed her. He certainly had not cared about Dustin. He had just tried to show off and impress the blond Mary Sue.
Zoey was totally disgusted, by Michael and Chase as much as by Wayne.
The little bugger kept on dating Ashley Blake.
Alas, he had got some phobia even worse than Ashley’s fear of green gummi worms. A year ago, he had been bit by some goildfish[goldfish bite]
.
Ever since, animals of the size smaller than large mammals caused him to panic.
This included especially squirrels[dustin and squirrels], toads, and even puppies.
Michael and Chase made incessantly fun of Dustin’s phobia.
Fortunately, Logan was now suspended.
A few months ago, he had spied on the girls with a webcam hidden in a plush bear.[espionage].
Zoey had tricked Logan into paric and fessing up.
Dean Rivers had been little amused.
It had taken the honour council several months to make a decision, due to Logan’s financial impact and his contacts.
But now he was gone for a few weeks. He could be lucky for not having been expelled completely, as requested by the headmaster. At least he was now unable to pick on Dustin’s mental wounds even more.
But Michael and Chase were by no means better. They even talked him into proving his coolness by taking care of Elvis, a puppy kept secretly by the kids. They were total hypocrits.
Chase was afraid of racoons.[fear of racoons].
Pets were strictly illegal at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
This even increased his horror.
And there was no elder sister around to intervene.
Ashley did not care about Dustin’s fears. But she didn’t hurt him any further, either, at least not on purpose.
Meanwhile, Josh Nichols had made his driver’s license. He was happy about being now able to fetch Megan from oboe practice. He was thus able to control her better. At least he thought so.
Drake had to practise more. He had flirted with the judge testing his driving capabilities instead of paying attention to the traffic. And even now he preferred flirting with college girl Denise Woods[denise woods] instead of preparing for the test.
Josh was thus overburdened.
Things did not get easier for him upon his father’s suspension from the office of a ranger scout of the local ranger group.
Josh had to take over for him and visit a pack of junior rangers, including his mischievous step-sister Megan, for several sessions.
Zoey met him in the locker hall.
Josh was a bit exhausted.
Zoey wondered about the reasons.
Josh moaned about his problems. “Wait, you are a very responsible elder sister, and your Dustin is not much younger than Megan?”
Zoey confirmed everything. “Sure, why?”
Josh begged Zoey, “could you take some work off me, then? Like, supervising the little rnager group?”
Zoey shrugged. “Sure, why not? I’ve learned a bit in a summer camp at the river. ”
Josh beamed gleefully. “Yeah! You rock!”
Zoey smiled.
Unbeknownst to both of them, they got observed from across the locker hall.
Melinda “Mindy” Crenshaw, alias “Creature”[mindy crenshaw]
, the valedictorian of Josh’s and Drake’s classes, was eyeing them in a totaly suspicious manner. She had noticed Josh and Zoey spending time together for the talent shop, and even winning it together.
And now Josh ahd begged Zoey successfully for a big favour.
Mindy sensed something wrong with it. “Josh and Zoey must be dating.” She had got an unconfessed secret crush on Josh. She could not tolerate the blond Mary-Sue to fish Josh out of her, Mindy Crenshaw’s, pond.
In addition, Zoey’s history both at “Bushmond” and at “Pacific Coast Academy” was somewhat well-known to Mindy.
She feared dropping down in the eternal honour roll.
This meant nothing good at all.
Mindy had to do something about it.
A fight to the death was now inevitable.
Megan Parker called her friend Ashley on the phone.
Ashley started boasting about her deeds at “Pacific Coast Academy”. “And the boys don’t even notice they just get used.”
Megan grinned at first glance, But then she changed her voice. “The boys … you mean, including Dustin Brooks/”
Ashley gasped. “You know about him?”
Megan explained teh situation. “So, Zoey, his sister, is at the school of the boobs. She’s a stubborn Mary-Sue. But OK. If it was just ticking her off … but you hurt a boy in your age.”
Ashley did not react. She remained as cold as a marble block in the antarctic ice.
Megan continued, “Please, Ashley, be honest to Dustin. You may use and abuse older boys any way you want to, such as Michael Barret and Chase matthews. but Dustin isn’t a boob. You need to respect him more.”
Ashley gasped. She was not accustomed to getting rebuked by her best friend.
But Megan’s vords were clear enough.
Ashley submitted to Megan’s commands.
A rainy night had started at San Diego.
Zoey Brooks was to explain a pack of junior rangers.
Among them was one Wendy Gellar, a girl in Dustin’s and Megan’s age. But she was obsessed with Drake Parker. She used to listen to all of his songs while asleep.
Megan and Wendy were best friends.
But even Megan was annoyed by Wendy’s stalking crush on Drake. “He’s just a boob. He ain’t worth it, trust me!”
Soime of the other kids made fun of Wendy.
The obsessed tween girl squealed, “but I’ve got his autograph. Look! It’s here!”
The sheet said, “Love, Drake”.
Wendy continued, “We will be married in ten years! Or maybe hwe elope and do it earlier!”
Zoey shook her head.
Wendy grunted, “you better believe me! Wait! You’re just jealous because he doesn’t marry you! That’s because he;s going to be mine!”
Xoey’s eyes bugged out.
She granted, “what? Are you crazy? I’ve never wanted to even date him.”
Megan sighed. “See, Wendy? Some girls do have their dignity.”
Wendy grabbed Megan and shook her vigorously. “Never evertalk again like that!”
Zoey wanted to avoid any conflict. But could she just watch the scandalous things going on?
The kids wanted roasted marsh mellows.
Josh would have made them any.
But Zoey did not want to use the kitchen of the Parkers and Nichols in their absence.
In addition, marsh mellows were totally unhealthy.
Zoey had always been upset when catching Dustin devouring a bag of them.
Too much Candy was bad for kids of their age.
The evening was tedious.
Dustin atleast had got some natural respect for Zoey.
But those kids weren’t Zoey’s little siblings. They did not care at all.
Megan controlled the gang, providing for some sort of peace, but probably just in order to make fun of Zoey behind her back.
Zoey was not glad about Drake’s demeanour. “You’ve stoked Wendy to no end. Are youy really able to stick to your promises? You could necver weven keep a girl of your age for more than two weeks.”
Drake boasted, “yeah, I’m awesome! That’s girlfriend number thirty-one!”
Zoey glared menacingly at Drake. “Do you know what you’re doing to Wendy?”
Drake shrugged. “Why would I? I couldn’t care any less.”
Meanwhile, Wendy had distributed fly papers about Drake’s upcoming appearance in a radio show.
The walls were chock full of the announce.
This embarrassed Drake to no end.
Zoey grunted, “you see what you’ve done?”
Drake shrugged. “OK, I don’t like Wendy, and I’ll tell Wendy right away.” He started looking around. “Where is the wench?”
Zoey feared the worst for Wendy.
She was going to be heart-broken and turn unstable.
Zoey could not allow for that.
The ranger grooup should have spent the night in tents in the garden.
But rain drops kept on falling.
Zoey did not want to torture the kids. “OK, sleepover at Megan’s.”
The kids cheered.
Drakle was ready to go to the radio station.
But Zoey interrupted him. She also called Wendy.
The latter was still expecting Drake asking for her hand.
Zoey sighed deeply. “Wendy, Drake has to tell you something.”
Wendy wondered, “Sure! Where are the rings?”
Zoey shook her head. “Sorry! Wendy, when Drake wrote the autograph, he meant …”
Wendy glared, “Drake, you do love me, right?”
Drake wanted to tell her the hurting way.
But Zoey stopped him. “Drake hasn’t lied. H loveds youi, but like a little sister, like Megan.”
Wendy sobbed. “He can’t love Megan! He may only love me.”
Zoey bowed down to Wendy. “Drake is not ready to settle for a girl. You would be his girlfriend for two weeks, and then you’d be all forgotten. But you may be like his little sister for good. What do you prefer?”
Wendy sighed. “The latter, OK!”
Zoey nodded.
Drake was touched. “OK, no radio broadcast tonight tonight. I just give a concert for Wendy and my other little fans, here at this sleepover.”
Megan grinned. “Cool!”
Zoey offered, “I’ll order something to eat for you. Do you like sushi?”
The kids and Drake nodded.
The rock idol started singing his latest song, Down We Fall[down we fall] for his little fans.
Many other songs followed.
Zoey sighed for relief.
Rain kept whipping the windows.
But the night stayed peaceful.
Zoey watched out from the window, wondering about Dustin’s current adventures at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
And the peace was treacherous.
[goldfish bite] in a flashback in Zoey 101 : Quinn Misses The Mark
[dustin and squirrels] cf. Zoey 101 : Pilot
[espionage] cf. Zoey 101 : Webcam
[fear of racoons] mentioned in Zoey 101 : School Dance
[denise woods] from Drake & Josh : Driver’s License
[mindy crenshaw] She’s identified with same actress’s guest rôle in Zoey 101 : Backpack.
[down we fall] third-party owned song by Drake Bell
Table of Contents
Drake was a reckless player.
But this did not entitle his English teacher, Mrs. Hayfer, to treat him like a piece of dirt.
Zoey came to know about it from Robbie Bernstein[robbie Bernstein]
.
The latter was the responsible of “Daily Belleview”, the official school journal of “Belleview”. He was always on tour, looking for sensational events to cover.
Tonight, she was hanging out in “Première Theater”.
Drake and one of his girlfriends were expected to come here tonight for a date.
Josh was working. He had organised two tickets for the “lovebirds”. Alas, he was not quite glad about that.
Zoey wondered, “what’s wrong with Kelly? Inspite of laughing and cackling too much, that is.”
Josh moaned, “that’s the problem, she ruins Drake’s nerves.”
Zoey gasped. “He has got any nerves?”
Josh sighed. “Oh, unfortunately he does.”
Zoey ordered a smoothie.
Josh grinned. “There you are! Oh, by the way, with my new shirt, nothing like that could happen to me!” He removed his uniform and reveiled a very fanciful old shirt.
Zoey gasped. She was a potential fashion designer. “Good old school!”
Josh explained, “it’s my lucky shirt. Megan’s pranks don’t hurt me anymore. And I’ve been gifted three new video games. Do you want to play …”
Zoey shook her head vigorously. “No, thanks. I’m not a fan of video games.”
Josh shrugged.
Finally, Drake and Kelly arrived.
Zoey watched the situation.
The insane cackling of Kelly Hayfer penetrated the whole theatre.
Josh grabbed Drake and dragged him to the counter. “Drake, you wanted to break up with Kelly. What are you doing here with the annoying wench?”
Drake replied, “nothing …”
Josh glared at his step-brother.
Drake sighed. “I’ve really tried to. I was at her home. But there I met her mother …”
Josh shrugged, “so what?”
Drake sighed desperately. “It is Mrs. Hayfer!”
Drake and Josh had not yet been aware of that.
Zoey nodded. “The mean English teacher?”
Josh replied, “I think she’s not that bad.”
Drake was consternated. “How dare you, Josh?”
Drake ignored Josh’s objection. “Really, Mrs. Hayfer threatened to send me to summer school in the case of breaking Kelly’s heart.”
Zoey choked. “That’s really bad, isn’t it?”
“That’s hell!” Drake moaned for disgust.
But there was no time left.
Kelly arrived at the counter and dragged Drake aqway. “our movie starts!”
Drake had to pay for the popcorn and the softdrinks.
Zoey pitied the poor rock idol. “Why don’t you give him your lucky shirt?”
Josh gasped. “No way! Megan will prank me to death.”
Zoey shrugged. “I could design a new one for you.”
Josh smiled. “Cool. But would it really be a lucky shirt?”
Zoey sighed. She did not believe in the lucky character. “It’s proaly like those placebo medications. They don’t work for real. But they help in the case of believing in them.”
Josh did not want to believe in Zoey’s explanation.
Zoey scratched her blond hair. “OK, maybe I canb talk to Mrs. Hayfer?”
Josh choked. “Would you do that? I mean … I’ve tried to help Drake this way, twice or thrice, but it always backfired.” He sobbed piteously. “hey, maybe with my lucky shirt … but, no, this wouldn’t really work.”
Zoey suggested, “I will talk Kelly into trashing Drake on her own. Drake won’t break her heart. Mrs. Hayfer won’t have a reason to kill Drake. Promised!”
Josh sighed. “Good luck, Brooks!”
Alas. only Zoey Brooks was there.
kelly cackled, “where is Drake?”
Zoey replied, “Hi, Kelly, Drake had got his butt burned. He was sitting down on a chair and … zap! His butt was but charcoal and smoke.”
Actually, Megan had built such a trap for Drake.
And the “boob” had fallen for it like a concrete block from beyond the clouds. Usually, Drake would not have refrained from dating a girl even with a butt on fire.
But this time, the “accident” served Drake as a perfect excuse.
Kelly sighed. But she did not interrupt her cackling.
Zoey continued, “OK, I’ve been to a boarding school named ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. It’s a cool school. There are many more guys than girls. Some of them are totally hot.”
Kelly cackled, “really?”
Zoey Brooks confirmed it. “Hotter than Drake Parker. Or so I’d say.”
Kelly gasped. “Wow! Is that possible?”
Zoey nodded vigorously. “Just stay away from the elementary school boys. They are so totally not hot.” Of course she wanted Kelly to refrain from hitting on Dustin.
Kelly cackled. “Thought so! I’m more into bigger boys.”
Zoey smiled. “Then you will like takking a look at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. They have got their open weekend in a few days.”
Kelly swallowed the bait. “May you recommend someone in particular?”
Zoey smiled. “Hell yes!” Deep inside, she grinned with excessively mischievous glee. “You will want to have a look at one Chase Bartholomew Matthews.”
Kelly smiled and kept on giggling cheerfully. “OK!”
Zoey described Chase. “he has got a very hot bush on his head. He’s damn’ prous of that.”
Kelly grinned cheerfully. “Yeah, cool! I’ve always wanted something like that.” She squealed ecstatically.
“Crazy” Steve was upset and yelled at Zoey and Kelly.
Zoey nodded. But she was also worried about that psychopathic employee. One day, she had got to do something about him.
Kelly wanted to know more about Chase.
Zoey could tell a lot about the dork. “He likes riding his bike against obstacles.”
Kelly cackled again.
Zoey panted, “oh, he’s likes to make poems, and he loves country music. He might write a country song and sing it just for you. Just be carefulm he’s afraid of racoons!”
Kelly snickered. “Aw, I love racoons! They are so bushy!”
Zoey shrugged. “OK, they will be happy for you to show up on their campus.”
Kelly nodded. “Oh, I sure will. And Drake, well, I think he ain’t really that hot any longer. He stinks!” She cackled mercilessly.
Time was running out for the night.
Zoey had to return home.
Her dad was already waiting in front of the cimema entrance with his car.
Zoey did not want him to come into the foyer.
That would have been a bit embarrassing.
Josh showed up.
Zoey gave him the bucks for the drinks and the bagels. “OK, it worked. See you at school!”
Josh nodded. “Bye-bye!”
Zoey lay on her pillow. She had never stayed away from her home until that late. But now she chuckled into the soft tissue.
Of course, Kelly Hayfer would annoy Chase Bartholomew Matthews to no end.
And that was very much Zoey’s intention.
Chase and his foul sidekick Michael Barret deserved a hard lesson for having treated Dustin like dirt, crap, and junk.
According to Zoey’s oath, noone would pick on little Dustin without having to face severe punishment of the most harmful sort.
It one of was the last mornings at school before the vacations lasting from Christmas Eve to New Year’s day.
Drake and Josh walked in.
Drake sighed. “>Kelly has just trashed me. She seems to have found another guy. Good luck with Kelly!” He grinned with mischief.
Zoey nodded. “Oh yeah, she did!”
Alas, Drake had not only got good news. “Josh’s good luck shirt is gone!”
Zoey shrugged.
Josh Nichols came along. “Hi Zoey! Megan is such a mean censored.”
Drake moaned for despair.
Zoey wanted to know the details.
Drake reported, “she has taken our shirt and given it away for the Christmas charity collection.”
Zoey shrugged. “So what? Megan has got a good heart.”
Drake and Josh looked absolutely consternated.
Zoey sighed for pity. She was up to making a special Christmas gift to Drake and Josh: A new lucky shirt.
For an exorbitantly gifted designer, that would be an easy task.
It didn’t even to look like Josh’s. It just needed to look somewhat weird and old-fashioned.
Boys did not have much of a detailed memory with respect to fashion and similar stuff. They were hardly ever going to notice the deceit.
Of course, the students of “Pacific Coast Academy” were also ready for Christmas.
Zoey and her dad had been waiting for the little boy.
Dustin showed up, squealing, “Zoey!” He ran up to her and huggled her against the car.
Zoey was a bit consternated. “OK, Dustin, I can hardly breath this way …” She choked.
They took seat in the car.
The convertible made its way to the highway to San Diego.
Dustin had a lot to tell about his adventures in Zoey’s absence.
His relationship with Ashley Blake was among them.
He moaned. “she has only used me!”
Zoey had known that already, albeit from the wrong sources.
At least Ashley had had the guts to tell Dustin during the late fall.
This was due to Megan’s secret intervention.
Zoey comforted Dustin for his first broken heart. “Srry! But you’ve still got a lot of time for your first real love. I’m older, and I’m still not there. Just don’t become like Drake Parker!”
Dustin wondered, “hey, Drake is a great rock star!”
Zoey nodded. “Obviously! But he is a jerk switching girls faster than his socks.”
Dustin sighed. “OK, but I’ve already got a new crush. her name is Wendy Gellar. She has been here fro visitors’ day.”
Zoey choked. “Wendy is not a bad girl. But she’s not really the best choice for Dustin.”
Then Dustin reported about the presence of Kelly Hayfer. “Her mom will send her to ‘Pacific Coast Academy’ with the start of nect term. Now she’s stalking Chase Matthews.”
Zoey grinned silently.
Her plan had worked well.
Chase was probably going to regret his evil deeds as bitterly as can be.
Dustin begged Zoey for something else. “A few weeks from here, there will be our traditional ‘Spring Fling’. It’s a party with music and a buffet. Alas, last year’s music was so lame. We should really have some cool band this year, someone like …”
Between Christmas and New Year’s eve, Zoey met Drake and Josh again in “Premère”.
Drake smiled. “Thanks for retrieving our lucky shirt! It must have been hard to look for it.”
Zoey grinned. Of course, she had taylored it from afresh. “No problem!”
Josh thanked her profusely. “Yesterday, two mean-looking giuys named ‘Buddy’ and ‘Guy’ wanted us to sell Gary grills for them, for a good price. But my shirt told me to get our butts out of there.”
Drake continued, “I was mad at Josh because of the spoiled busines. But today, the police has arrested them.”
Josh added, “the barbecue sets were stolen! We could have been really in troubles. But my good luck shirt saved us!”
Zoey sighed. “Yeah, that was like destiny.”
Drake moaned, “and we’ve got nothing for you, except … he pluckered with his lips.”
Zoey grunted, “no way! Forget it!”
Drake sighed deeply.
Zoey continued, “oh, there’s something you could do for me!” She told Drake and Josh about the “Spring Fling” at “Pacific Coast Academy”. “You could make some music there.”
Drake smiled. “Hell, yeah! That’s the least we can do for Zoey, don’t you think so, Josh?” Of course, he also hoped for some hot girls at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
But thet went without saying.
Josh nodded solemnly.
Table of Contents
Drake’s manager would have requested five thousand bucks for a concert of Drake’s band.
But due to Zoey’s efforts, he was ready to give a free concert.
Too bad Zoey was not allowed to enter “Pacific Coast Academy” for te concert. But she did not really mind. She was looking forward to Drake’s next concert at “Belleview”’s next talent shop.
In addition, the exorbitantly greedy creep of a manager got fired on site and replaced with Joshuah Nichols.
Everything seemed to turn out nicely.
But a certain someone did not want Drake to be happy …
This morning, the pupils flocked into the recess yard of “Belleview”.
But Zoey Brooks was one of those kids still busy with her locker.
Robert Bernstein[robert bernstein], the chief reporter of “belleview”’s news site, similar to Jeremiah Trottman at “Pacific Coast Academy”, asked Zoey about her opinion abiout the incidence in Mrs. hayfer’s class room.
Zoey looked puzzled. “Which incident?”
Bernstein chuckled. “What? You don’t know it?”
Zoey shook her head.
Robbie explained, “over night, Drake has snuck to the teachers’ parking site, stolen Mrs. Hayfer’s car, and put it into her classroom.”
Zoey gasped. “That’s possible? And how you know it was Drake? It ust have been in the middle of the night.”
Bernstein nodded. “Of course. But don’t ask me how! And only Drake is motivated enough to do so.”
Zoey shrugged. “You can’t judge that prematurely. That’s unfair.”
Robbie Bernstein ignored ebverything. “So, for how long will Drake get suspended?”
Zoey sighed deeply.
Zoey met Drake and Josh at lunch.
The talks about Dake’s impending suspension had seized the atmosphere.
Drake insisted in being innocent. “And being suspended would exclude me fromall school events, including the talent shop.”
Zoey sighed. “There are laws, and there is an honour council. You will get your justice there!”
Josh offered to defend Drake in front of the council.
Zoey sighed. “I want to go to law school later on. Maybe I’m better doing that.”
Jiosh shrugged.
Drake grinned. “Definitely! Josh uses to mess things up!”
Josh twitched.
The vice principle in charge of honour councils had permitted the trial of Drake Parker, and he had allowed the blond Mary Sue as his shark.
Zoey still wondered about the possibility of getting a car over night into a class room without anyone noticing.
Josh had given her some general hints.
But they were too vague for that avail.
Zoey needed to look for an expert.
Quinn Pensky was certainly able to do such a thing, and even more to give an expert’s view.
But given the events of the last weeks, Zoey could not trust Quinn any longer.
The nerd queen had abused Dustin many a time for her experiments, such as studies about continued sleep withdrawal[sleep withdrawal] and her way of treating his cold with some sort of electric shocks applied to his feet.[dustins cold] Even more, Quinn had once vaporised her father’s car.[melting car]
Without being denounced by Wayne “Firewire” Gilbert, those miserable deeds committed by Quinn Pensky would still have been hidden from Dustin’s loving and caring elder sister.
Zoey could not approve of such an unreliable witness. She had to look for someone less of a heartless traitor and backstabber.
There were not many experts for mechanics and technology in Zoey’s circle of friends.
Wayne Gilbert was certainly knowledgeable enough to serve as an expert.
But Zoey would have started to hate herself for begging Wayne for a favour.
Alas, hopes had gone by long since.
And Wayne Gilbert appeared like her last straw.
Well, she could also have consulted Eric Blonowitz, the clearly most freaky and dorkish of all students at “Belleview”.
But Eric was even more of a dweeb than “Firewire”.
Before coming to Belleview, Zoey had never thought about the possibility of a boy more uncomely than even Wayne.
The tide was rising higher and higher.
Thus Zoey saw no other choice but consulting Wayne Gilbert.
The session at the honour council had just started.
Mrs. hayfer had got ort of a lawyer, too.
It was none other than aforementioned Melinda Crenshaw. She grinned sadistically. She appeared much better prepared than Zoey. But somehow, she had hoped Josh to defend Drake. She did not mind hurting the Mary Sue as well. She was up to doing that right after Drake’s expulsion, anyways. But she was a bit puzzled.
Zoey had not known much about Mindy beforehand, except that of being on the honour rolls at “Belleview”since ages.
Melinda Crenshaw, according to Zoey Brooks, gave the term advocatus diaboli its proper meaning.
Zoey had got only one folder.
Mindy had got two of them.
Zoey insisted, “there are no witnesses whatsoever for the deeds my client is charged with.”
Alas, about everyone deemed Drake’s motivations largely sufficient.
The most impressive “proof” of his hostile fantasies towards his English teachwer was Drake’s sketch book, full of drawings depicting Mrs. Hayfer in deadly situations, such as dropping from a plane into a river full of crocodiles.
In addition, the rock idol lacked an alibi. He was asleep at home.
Josh should have noticed him leabving.
But some video on Megan’s web site showed Drake’s sister and her friend Addie pulling pranks on sleeping Josh without getting anywhere near waking him up.
Thus Josh had dropped out as an alibi.
The judge ordered a break.
After the break, the paparazzi, guided by Robert Bernstein, were even more sure about the outcome. They had already finished writing the article for the evening edition of the school news, talking exclusively about the expulsion of the rock star.
Zoey panted heavily.
The judge urged Zoey to give up on that absolutely hopeless case. In addition, he wanted to be home for tea time.
But Zoey was one tough nut. “Your worship, I request the admission witness Wayne Gilbert. He is a technical expert.”
Mindy wanted to object.
But the judge allowed for another witness.
Melinda Crenshaw and Wayne Gilbert had been meeting a year ago at the state-wide science fair of California.
“Firewire” stumbled in, cackling like an idiot.
The judge ordered him to take seat in the appropriate place.
Zoey started asking about the technological possibilities of “Drake’s” abominable deed.
Wayne Gilbert had formerly inspected the situation. “I see several possibilities, each of them offering various difficulties and side problems.” His subsequent speech sounded a lot like science fiction from one of the two larger action toon series, viz. DC and Marvel.[dc marvel]
The judge kept on falling almost asleep, maintained awake only by Wayne Gilbert’s ongoing insane cackling.
Mindy listened closely. Sometimes, she had to object. “This is impossible in this case.”
Zoey watched Mindy during Wayne’s presentation.
Apparently, Mindy knew too much.
Or this happened to be Zoey’s impression.
Clearly, if anyone was able to perform the deed Drake was accused of, Mindy Crenshaw could have done that with ease. And she did not speculate as much as Wayne, she appeared to have certain details in mind.
Zoey issued a plea. “Your worship, all this shows us the one and only pupil here at ‘Belleview’ not only theoretically able to transport a car silently withing six hours from the parking lot into the classroom, but also to know very intimate details about the process as it happened.”
Everyone looked aghast.
The judge appeared stubborn.
Mindy Crebshaw’s breath froze. Shge went all blue in her face.
Zoey concluded, “this is the car smuggler, Ms. Melinda Crenshaw!”
Mindy grunted, “why should I do that?”
Zoey shrugged. “In order to get Drake framed? Or maybe just because you can do it and need to prove it to yourself?” Zoey did not even haveto know a real reason. She concluded correctly from Quinn’s character to that of her fellow geek colossus, Mindy Crenshaw.
But there had been a more concrete reason.
Mrs. Hayfer had once dared to bestow a mark worse than an A upon.
In thuis moment, Mindy broke down and admitted to that. “Yes, I hate Mrs. hayfer!”
Needless to say, Mindy Crenshaw was now subject to suspension. She was dragged away by two security guards.
Wayne Gilbert gasped. “Hey! You can’t do that! I need to continue my converstaion with Ms. Crenshaw.” For the first time in his life, he had met a girl able to talk to him in a fluent manner.
And this was now all over?
By no means was Wayne Gilbert going to accept that. he pulled some mysterious flask from his trousers’ pockets. he leapt forward, span around, and squirted something into the faces of the security guards.
The gorillas choked and gasped.
Wayne grabbed Mindy and ran away with her. “Come on, just as Dr. Doom says …[drdoom]”
Mindy followed her superman readily to the end of the world.
The two of them would never be seen again, neither at “Belleview” nor at “Pacific Coast Academy”. The new happy couple must have eloped to Mexico or something.
And neither Zoey Brooks, nor Drake Parker would ever miss them.
The case was closed.
But Mrs. Hayfer still hated Drake Parker.
Drake sighed. “I know.” He walked over to Zoey. “OK, but this great defense deserves a reward. How about a Freench kiss?”
Zoey thuindered at Drake, “you won’t even dream about that, you jerk!”
Zoey was not allowed to enter the campus of “Pacific Coast Academy”for the concert, but she just waited at the parking lot. And she definitely did not want to meet any of her traitors, such as Chase Matthews, Michael Barret, Quinn Pensky, Dana Cruz, or Nicole Bristow.
Unfortunately, Dustin had missed out on the concert. He fell sick after getting no sleep for four days straight.
Quinn had experimented too much with Dustin as a test subject.
But Drake would certainly give a little concert for Dustin during the next summer break.
Megan Parker had been at the concert, too. She had finally been able to drag Dustin to the parking lot, helped by her friends Ashley Blake and Wendy Gellar. They reported about the circumstances of Dustin. “The whole mob could have stomped all over him and kicked him to death.”
Zoey was now even more mad at Quinn and her other “friends”. She swore to let them rue it dearly, until the days of apocalypse and beyond.
Would there ever be a possibility for a reconciliation?
Zoey had lost all hopes on such a psssibility.
Too deprecable had been her former friends’ treacherous demeanour.
[robert bernstein] from Drake & Josh : Honor Council
[sleep withdrawal] in Zoey 101 : Spring Fling
[dustins cold] cf. Zoey 101 : The Play
[melting car] admitted in Zoey 101 : Little Beach Party
[dc marvel] third-party owned toon series
[drdoom] a third-party owwned cartoon hero
Table of Contents
Zoey was in a stimky mood.
The middle school basketball team of “Belleview” had just lost out badly against that of “James K. Polk”, a district school from Santa Clarita, a suburb of Los Angeles.
For Zoey, this was a medium catastrophe.
She had been the soul of the basketball team of “Belleview”, after only three months of training with them.
But there were too many slouchers in the team.
Truth said, the “Wolves” — sobriquet of the pupils of “James K. Polk” — had been known as a big player in Californian basket ball for ages. They had already pulverised the team of the “Stingrays” — sobriquet of pupils from “Pacific Coast Academy” — like frain between giant mill stones.
That had not been much of a surprise.
Since Zoey’s departure, the “Stingrays” had been a lump of misery.
The “Wolves” played like from another world.
Mike Grudziellanek was incredibly touch.
Then there was Seth Powers, the Adonis of “James K. Polk”. That tall rake had almost distracted Zoey.
There was also a certain “Coconut Head”, totally small, but able to score blindly in free throws.
Suzie Crabgrass[suzie crabgrass]
was the most dangerous of all, though.
There had been no chance left in the end.
Even the cheerios of the “Wolves” were better.
Their cjieftain was Mercedes Griffin alias Missy Meany due to her excruciating arrogance.
Amanda “Makeout” Franklin, the main cheerio of “Belleview”, failed miserably.
Zoey Brooks was also mad at some of her team mates.
Her worst enemy within the team was one Corey[corey], a worse player than Drake and Logan taken together. He was probably also a mean bully, just like Keith Finch[keith finch]
.
The latter had once bullied the hell out of Dustin.
Zoey would never let such a pervert date her little sister.
Fortunately, Dustin was male.
But there were other girls around …
It was time for spring break both at “Pacific Coast Academy” and “Belleview”.
Dustin had been fetched from Malibu and was now back at home in San Diego county.
Zoey was glad to see him. She inspected him everywhere for traces of bullying. “Have Chaser and Michael been making fun of you again?”
Dustin nodded solemnly. “They are big meanies.” He sobbed.
Zoey grunted, “they are going to pay for that.”
Dustin begged, “Zoey, I need some help with school.”
Zoey sighed deeply. “But of course. What is it?”
Dustin picked randomly some book from his school bag. And opened it in some random place.
Zoey read, “OK, the trapeze is …”
That was strange.
Dustion used to be perfect in geometry.
But Zoey continued, “so, what is the area of a trapeze, given the length of the parallel edges and their distance?”
Dustin grinned. “If I tell you, will you tell me where the little babies are from?”
This had been the real purpose of Dustin’s request.
Zoey shuddered for disgust. “No way!” She deemed Dustin much too young to know about that stuff.
Alas, Dustin was really disapoointed for not getting his urgent question answered.
Zoey would not get away with this.
Zoey walked once more into “Première Theater”.
Gavin and Crazy Steve were doing some work there.
Zoey saw Megan come from a movie, accompanied by her elder friend Denise Woods.
It was alrady too late for an elementary school girl.
Zoey wondered, “Megan! What are you doing here at this time? Your parents will worry.”
Megan sighed. “Mom and Walter are on vacations. The boobs are now in charge of the house. But they suck so much. They have started renting the house as an inn to visitors. There are many of them this time of the year, and real inns are getting rare.”
Zoey knew about the situation of tourism in San Diego county. “OK, but you are their younger sister. They have to take care about you. Many bad things could haven over night. There are many bad boys out here hankering after girls, such as …” She thought of aforementioned Corey the worst danger for little girls like Megan.
Megan shrugged. “I just requested to be treated like a hotel guest. But now it’s getting too full over there. Finally, Josh gave me free tickets for the whole week in order to shut up and not tell mom and Walter about the mess.”
Zoey grunted, “they can’t do that!”
Megan moaned, “a boob does what a boob has to do. Now I’m hanging out here with elder friends all night long.”
Zoey wasn’t pleased. She was now hell bent on informing Mrs. Parker and Mr. Nichols about that scandalous situation. She wanted to go to Helen and ask her for the cell number of the parents of Drake, Josh, and Megan.
Megan shrugged. “Oh, by the way, I need you for a walk into the pharmacy.”
Zoey felt a bit dizzy. “What? Have you caught a flu?”
Megan shook her head. “Two nights ago, I was totally bored, so I called Dustin. And then we had got a few nice hours. You know, those things a boy and a girl are doing when the elder siblings and the patrents aren’t watching …” Megan started to purr and swoon. “Until dawn made us part.”
Zoey started throwing up in her mouth. “What … the … hell … are you … talking about?” She could not believe it. She wondered, “has Dustin asked me about the origin of little babies for that reason? That is terrible!”
The thought of Dustin becoming a dad at the age of ten spoiled Zoey’s senses completely. It was unbearable.
Zoey vomited onto the floor.
Helen ordered Gavin to clean after the whole mess.
Zoey thought her parents to go completely insane upon knowing about that. So at least she was lucky tio be the first to know about thgis. Of course she would come to the pharmacy’s shop with Megan, just in order to make it sure.
Zoey started hating herself for not having told Dustin about little babies.
At least Dustin’s crush on Wendy and his dates with Ashley Blake should have alerted her.
Dustin was by no means an innocent little boy.
Helen Baxter used her megaphone, “attention! There’s a big party at the house of the Parkers and Nichols! I guess we may close down for the night and make it over there! Malcolm Reese, the producer of ‘Life in california’, is already informed and will send his production team over there.”
The mass of visitors of “Première Theater” cheered ecstatically.
Crazy Steve yelled at the mob.
Zoey wondered, “Steve must have quite a few issues. But now I can’t take care of that. Dustin’s downfall is more urgent.” She was thinking about looking for a night pharmacy shop.
Megan grinned. “Fooled you! There was really nothing. Dustin had just talked to me and my friends here after the afternoon movies. But you see the problem?”
Zoey shrugged.
Megan continued, “if you don’t tell Dustin about the topic, he will learn it the hard way, sooner or later. Do you, as a loving and caring elder sister, really want that?”
Zoey nodded excessively sadly.
Her head was now hanging between her knees.
Megan also urged Zoey to teach Dustin also about the girls’ feelings. “You’re the best teacher Dustin could ever imagine for that subject. Lest he will end up with some smutty wench like Samantha Puckett[samantha puckett]
. She has got no feelings and no heart at all. Even Ashley is not all that bad.”
Zoey did not know about Samantha.
But Melanie Puckett was known to her, as a student at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Megan explained, “they are twins from Seattle. They are form a fasmily of criminals. Melanie got sent to ‘Pacific Coast Academy’ as a means of rehacovery from the bad family background. Sam might follow soon, too. Really, I know Sam from a summer camp like two or three years ago. She stole my tuna sandwich.[stolen tuna sandwich]. I feigned to get along with her. But she’s such a pest.
” Megan shuddered for excruciating disgust.
Zoey felt bad, too. “OK, I will talk to Dustin. I don’t want to be responsible for him hanging out with the wrong girls.” She felt excessive mental pains. “So, you do know about little babies? Did Drake and Josh teach you?”
Megan sighed. “Well, kind of.”
Zoey listened.
A few weeks ago, one of my friends turned ten years old.
There were no poarty balloons left.
So I snuck into the boobs’ room, hoing to find some.
Indeed, there was a cardboard box full of flexible and inflatable things hidden in Drake’s bed.
I just took them as replacements for party balloons.
That was a lot of fun.
But Drake was nowhere near pleased upon finding out.
So he told me about the significance of the “balloons”.
According to Drake, they prevented his girlfriends from turning pregnant from him.
Otherwise I would already be a multiple aunt.
I urged him, in fact tortured him, into telling me the full truth.
Zoey shuddered for excessive disgust. “Drake and his girlfriends … sorry for that!” But now she had to prepare a few important words from a big sister to her little brother. She was of course by no means willing to let Dustin slide into some otherwise inevitable catastrophe.
Zoey had heard about the party in Drake’s and Josh’s home. “Why did Helen even have to make it worse? Mr. parker and Mrs. Nichols will now freak out completely.”
Crazy Steve remarked, in his psychopathical manner, “it’s illegal to make live parties at home before the running cam!”
Zoey had heard about that. “OK, Steve, do something good and scare those insane party guests aout of there!” She was too tired and too close to her own curfew to follow him there. She wondered about Steve’s detailed knowledge of certain laws.
There must have been a lot more to that psychopath known as “Crazy Steve” than known to Helen and most of the viositors and staff of the cinema.
Crazy Steve’s action would work out nicely and save the Parkers and Nichols from some severe fine.
Zoey was now dead on her feet.
Spring break was also approaching its end.
New adventure would thereupon await Zoey and her friends.
[suzie crabgrass] This regular of Ned’s Declassified SSG is identified with same actress’s cameo in Zoey 101 : School Dance.
[corey] from Drake & Josh : Megan’s First Kiss
[keith finch] from Zoey 101 : Defending Dustin
He is identifieds with same actor’s cameo as Cleeshay in iCarly : iFence.
[samantha puckett] identifies Sam Puckett from iCarly with same actress’s character in Zoey 101 : Bad Girl, viz. Trisha Kirby.
[stolen tuna sandwich] cf. iCarly : iDont Want To Fight
Table of Contents
The sun laughed upon “Belleview” for a new day.
Zoey Brooks walked the pavement separatingg the parking lot from teh school blocks.
Megan crossed her way on her bike. “Hi, Zoey!”
Zoey shrieked a bit.
Megan’s driving was a bit dauntless.
Megan explained, “Drake and Josh are censored boobs!”
Zoey wondered, “why is this so?”
Megan explained, “there will be a salsa cooking contest in a few days. And they don’t let me participate in their team and win a plasma screen with them.”
Zoey sighed. “That is really evil. They deserve a lesson.”
Megan grinned. “Oh yeah, they do! I thought about tricking them into using illegal ingredients, such as Peruvian puff pepper. It causes kidney failure.”
Zoey shuddered. “Egad! We will simply make a much better salsa than they do.”
Megan wondered, “you will help me?”
Zoey nodded solemnly. “How about Japanese salsa? The ‘boobs’ sure don’t know it.”
Megan’s eyes bugged out.
Zoey explained, “I’ve learned the recipe at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. There’s a Japanese café, ‘Sushi Rox’, over there.”
Megan grinned. “I love Sushi!”
Zoey continued, “their cook, Kazu, knows some very hot Japanese salsa. I’ve learned something from Kazu.”
Megan chuckled. “Sounds cool!”
Megan was on her way out from Première Theater. There she spotted Zoey Brooks, “Hey!”
Zoey grinned. “Hey! I’ve got even some idea for a refinement from Kazu.”
Megan smiled. “I’ve already started saotaging Drake and Josh. They have tasted my salsa, or , rather, what they think to be my salsa. They think it to taste like dish washing sewage. And, tell you what, they were not even exactly wrong!”
Zoey chuckled. “Aw, that sounds totally cool!” But she had got something more to say. “There will be a middle school dance party at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’, just around the corner.”
Megan beamed. “Cool! I’ve heard a bit about something like that from Ashley. Her brother Vincent will be in it.”
Zoey nodded. “That brainless jock?”
A year ago, Vince had been “studying” at aforementioned “Lincoln High”. He had beaten a few teeth off Josh’s mouth. Even as a middlke school guy he had been admitted to the football team, something only possible with a special permission.
Megan asked, “may I go to the dance with Dustin?”
Zoewy looked puzzled. “Minimum age is twelve, or maybe eleven, I think.”
Megan sighed for disappointment.
Zoey asked, “but they are indeed lookibg for middle school girls from other schools. Girls at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’ are still a striking minority, I think one to eight in the middle school classes. They need to fill the yawning gap somehow.”
Megan nodded. “makes sense …”
Zoey sighed. “Of course, I’m still banned from the campus of ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. So I will not be able to participate even inspite of the lack of girls.”
Megan shrugged. “Hey! My friend Addie Singer has applied for ‘Pacific Coast Academy’, and she’s coming to a visitor’s day!”
Zoey grinned. “That’s it, the visitors’ weekend coincides with the weekend of the middle school dance.”
Megan remarked, “so they get also some girls from outside for their dance.”
Zoey wondered, “is Addie a middle school girl?”
Megan nodded solemnly. “Seventh grade … she rocks!”
Zoey remembered now. “She’s seen on some of the pictures of pranks pulled on Drake and Josh, right?”
Megan nodded. “Cool pranks!” She chuckled sadistically.
Zoey wondered, “would she also pull pranks on certain useless ‘Pacific Coast Academy’ students?”
Megan shrugged. “You probably think about your treacherous ‘friends’, like this Chase guy.”
Zoey moaned, “exactly! Chase Bartholomew Matthews, Michael Barret, Nicole Bristow, Dana Cruz, Quinn Pensky, and finally Logan Reese!”
Megan sighed. “Unfortunately, she isn’t really a prankster. She just does it in my presence for boredom. She likes playing the guitar and writing little songs for herself. She doesn’t make as much noise as Drake. She’s rather humble. But she has already got a big crush named Jake Beheri. And she has just recently trashed ex-boyfriend Randolph Klein. I’m not sure she dares to ask out a boy for a dance right now.”
Zoey shrugged. “Oh, the partners for the dance are determined by some computer test. This gives pupils the occasion to get to know other kids. This has got some good sides, too.”
Megan wondered, “cool! Computer tests may be manipulated.”
Zoey wondered, “you want to manipulate the test results?”
Megan explained, “Nerds like Eric Blonowitz could hack their way into the computer determining the test results.”
Zoey gasped. “That would be … maybe even a bit of fun! But Eric is so scary.”
The ultranerd had recently tried to hit on Zoey.
So maybe the manipulation was no good idea.
It was the great day of the salsa contest.
Many participants were adjusting the big pot and preparing their ingredients.
Drake and Josh laughed. “The girls are serving dish washer’s water.”
The referee had changed in last minute.
Due to some “accident”, a new empire had to be found. It was Evelyn Wexler[evelyn wexler]
from New York City, a sister of “Pacific Coast Academy” girls’ dormitory adviser Coco Wexler and a renowned star cook over there.
Coco had only talked about her sister after Zoey’s departure, for some odd reason. She did not want her to become known among students of “Pacific Coast Academy”. And now she served as an assistant for her sister.
Josh grinned triumphantly. “We will win the plasma screen.”
Drake nodded as well. “The girls may only cook like piss.”
Too bad for the boobs, Evelyn Wexler was of a different opinion. “Nothing beats that Japanese salsa. What does it contain?”
Zoey explained, “miso, dashi, kelp, sea weed, … ”
Megan had added some western spices as well.
Drake and Josh went totally pale.
Drake walked up to Megan’s kettle and scraped some off the margin. He forced himself into croaking, “tastes like laundry sewage.”
Josh nodded solemnly. “It does! It can’t be recommended unto anyone.” He twitched like an idiot.
Zoey giggled.
Megan grinned. She whispered unto Zoey, “Walter actually drinks laundry sewage.[walters taste]”
Finger by finger, one by one, Drake and Josh had finally licked the whole kettle empty.
Audrey shook her head.
Coco crossed Walter’s way. “Sir, there’s some salsa in your face.”
walter shrugged.
Coco licked it off. “Tastes like … bell pepper …”
Walter grinned. “Cool!”
Then they started searching in the trash bin for the waste ingredients and stuck their heads inside in order to eat them faster.
Audrey gasped. “Walter Nichols! It’s over!”
Megan sighed. “Finally mom sees Walter’s true face!”
Walter and Coco just remerged from the trash bin, their heads all covered with vegetable trash. Then they licked their faces mutially green.
Zoey grinned.
Megan announced, “I will cook that salsa tomorrow at home. Too bad it tastes like laundry sewage, and Drake and Josh don’t like it. Don’t like, don’t eat!”
Zoey chuckled.
Drake and Josh looked consternated due to already being addicted to that stuff.
The nifght of PCA dance was over.
There had be a lot of music, including It’s True[its true]
, the favourite song of Megan Parker.
The latter was envious for Addie. “There’s so good music at the parties at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’.”
Zoey comforted Megan. “How did Addie do at the school dance?”
Megan explained, “she was assigned to Chase Bartholomew Matthews.”
Zoey remarked, “cool! Then she did certainly annoy them, didn’t she?”
Megan sobbed. “Quite the contrary. Addie like Chase very much, inspite of everything. Or so it seems.” She sighed deeply.
Zoey went pale in her face.
The idea of getting abck at Chase and Michael using Megan’s friend had backfired badly.
But the last word of revenge had not yet been said.
megan continued, “at least Michael had been assigned a male dance partner, and a very scary one, some exotic exchange student. And Logan ahd to face Dana. The latter stomped on Logan’s feet, hurting them badly.”
Zoey laughed like a hyena. “That’s delicious!”
There were many stiories to tell about that danccing night.
But the students of “Pacific Coast Academy” would no longer want computers to assign dance partners, barring Chase and Addie.
It was now official:
Walter Nichols and Audrey Parker were going to separate for good.
For Megan, this was greart news.
But Drake and Josh were hardly able to bear it.
Walter would sooner or later move in with Coco Wexler.
Would Josh have to follow him? He was now sad for losing Drake.
Likewise, Drake would hardly get accustomed to having his whole dormitory room for him alone.
Zoey sighed. She had not wanted to break that marriage asunder, as stupid as it may have been from the get on.
At least Josh would still stay with Drake for the rest of the academic year and only move away during summer break.
The wind of change was going to blow hard into the face of San Diego Belleview.
But Megan would keep on dreaming to the rhythm of It’s True. “Wish I was with Dustin some night …”
[evelyn wexler] from True Jackson VP : True Fear
[walters taste] cf, Drake & Josh : Helicopter
[its true] third-party owned sone by Odds Against Tomorrow, played in Zoey 101 : School Dance and Drake & Josh : Drake and Josh Go Hollywood
Table of Contents
Zoey Brooks was sitting in the cafeteria of “Première Theater”.
Suddenly, Drake, Josh, and a hitherto unknown girl walked in.
Zoey wondered, “am I supposed to know her?”
Drake shrugged.
Josh Nichols introduced the girl. “Her name iss Euka[euka] She’s from Eudonia in Eastern Eurpe.”
Euka shook hands with Zoey.
Zoey was interested in hearing about foreign lands and cultures. “So, you’re an exchange student?”
Josh sighed. “Euka has been my pen friend for several months. But now she came for a visit to the United States with her parents. The oparents will come a bit later, though.”
Euka nodded.
Zoey smiled.
Josh explained, “I thought about Euka feeling a bit lost , here in a strange world.”
Euka looked puzzled.
Zoey noticed something wreong with Josh’s statement. But she kept on listening unto Josh.
The bigheaded boob continued, “thus I’ve ordered a movie by the only Eudonian producer having made it to Hollywood. It is about Glokma, the holy goat of Eudonia.”
Zoey shrugged. “Sounds interesting.”
Crazy Steve walked in. Tonight he was responsible for the display of the films in one of the presentation rooms. “Josh, I’ve got your movie. I had to fly to Los Angeles and run up and down Hollywood in order to fetch it.”
Josh smiled. “It’s great to have friends like him.”
Zoey was really impressed by Steve’s efforts. “It must have been really tough.”
Steve mentioned more and more details.
Josh said, “Ok, Steve, we will watch Glokma in a quarter.”
Steve shrugged.
Euka coughed noisily. “Sorry, Josh, but of course I have seen Glokma several times already, back in my home town.”
Drake shrugged. “You know, she lives in Eudonia, the movie has been made by an Eudonian producer in Eudonia …”
Zoey understood that. “It may get boring. I don’t need to watch movies about southern California when travelling distant lands. I’d rather explore their culture.”
Josh looked a bit puzzled. “What do you want to say?”
Euka looked at Josh. “Hey, it’s so nice of you thinking of all that and going through all the efforts, but I really want to see an American movie, a movie about life here in America.”
“My words,” remarked Drake. He quickle chose a movie from the menu.
Euka smiled. “OK, that sounds like a very interesting title.”
Drake smiled. He simply understood girls a whole lot better than Josh ever would.
Josh sighed. “OK, we will watch the movie … just as Drake said.”
“Crazy” Steve did not want to hear that. “Tell you what … it costed me some hundreds of bucks and hours of search in order to borrow Glokma. And now somebody will watch it!” He grabbed Josh firmly.
But Josh Nichols was nowhere near willing to watch the movie all alone.
Zoey sighed. “Steve, wait! I’m going to watch it!”
Steve shrugged. “OK! I don’t care who does! But someone has to!”
Josh was released from the psychopath’s grip and sank back into his chair. He sighed for exorbitant relief.
Zoey stood up. “OK, Steve, we may go any time.”
Steve nodded.
But Josh could not let Zoey alone with a reckless psychopath. He whispered unto Zoey: “OK … if Steve freaks out … the song she’ll be coming ’round the mountain will work wonders.[coming round the mountain]”
Zoey wondered, “why is it so?”
Josh shrugged. “Nobody knows. But it works. Keep good care!”
Zoey thanked Josh profusely for the hint. Then she followed impatient Steve to the presentation room.
Drake, Josh, and Euka were now getting ready for the movie of their choice.
It was a work of Malcolm Reese
Zoey was still watching the movie. She was sitting in the first row.
This was a rare event.
But it was understandable in the case of being the only watcher.
At first, Zoey was watching carefully, willing to learn more about another country.
But it wasn’t easy.
Steve could easily get crumpy for no good reason.
At least Zoey had not done anything to upset him.
But Steve was muttering about Helen, Josh, and Gavin.
Sometimes, Zoey could hardly understand the voices. She decided to use the secret trick dutring a little break caused by a fly annoying Steve.
Sweet music filled the air.
She’ll be coming ’round the mountain when she comes.
She’ll be coming ’round the mountain when she comes.
She’ll be coming ’round the mountain
She’ll be coming ’round the mountain
She’ll be coming ’round the mountain when she comes.
And it worked indeed.
Zoey was surprised. She panted heavily.
Finally, the movie was over, without further troubles.
But Zoey definitely wanted to know the reasons. She asked Steve, “why does the song she’ll be coming ’round the mountain calm you down?”
Steve looked puzzled. “It does?”
Zoey nodded solemnly.
Steve sighed deeply. “Actually, it’s the first song for me to …”
Zoey wondered, “oh yeah? The first song for what?”
Steve admitted, “I’ve had a banjo as a high school boy.[the banjo]She’ll be coming ’round the mountain is the first song I’ve taught myself to play on the banjo.”
Zoey nodded. “That makes a lot of sense. Have you learned other songs?”
Steve nodded. “The usual ones … I come from Louisianna, Camptown, Beautiful Dreamer, Nobody knows the trouble, Jimmy Crack Corn, Sweet Chariot, and so on.”
Zoey smiled. “I see! My family is from Louisian, indeed.”
Steve remarked, “that’s interesting.”
Zoey suggested, “have you still got your banjo? We could sing something together.”
Steve sighed deeply. “I must have lost it on my way too college.”
Zoey sighed. “Too bad! You seem to connect many reminiscences to it.”
Steve sighed deeply.
Zoey was now up to organising a banjo for Steve, thinking, “maybe this will make him less of a psychopath.”
But now it was too late.
Zoey’s mom was already waiting in the cafeteria in order to fetch her daughter.
Zoey called it a night.
Two days later, Zoey was standing in the queue in the cafeteria.
Josh and Drake were already eating.
Drake seemed to be weirdly troubled.
Zoey got quickly on with her orders and walked up to the boys. “What’s up, guys?”
Josh replied, “Drake and Euka are married.”
Drake made Josh responsible. “He had to organise a traditional Eudonian ceremony at night. And according to Eudonian law, these were wedding vows …”
Josh sighed. “Together forever … but I did not know that. Honestly!”
Zoey wondered, “Drake is sixteen. He can’t marry without a lot further ado.”
Josh sighed. “It’s probably possible in Eudonian culture. I’ve already asked Oprah Winfrey[oprah winfrey]
for advice.”
Drake moaned, “Oprah never helps.”
Josh did not agree with that. “And Drake’s mom and dad in law will soon come over for a visit.”
Drake trembled for excruciating dismay.
Another evening started in “Première Theater”.
Zoey had remembered Steve’s knowledge concerning the illegal character of making public movies without prior permission from local authorities. She wondered, “maybe he knows also a bit about wedding laws.”
Steve was preparing the menu of movies.
Zoey did not know whether it was the right occasion to bother him.
But it had to be sometimes before the arrival of the parents of Euka.
She closed her eyes and panted heavily. “Steve, may I asked you a question?”
Steve yelled at her, “not now! And you’re already asking!”
Zoey hummed the magical tune.
Steve calmed down.
Zoey moaned softly, “sorry! You seem to know a lot about legal stuff.”
Steve glared puzzled. “What?”
Zoey repeated her observations having made her conclude something like that.
Steve wanted to yell again.
Zoey calmed him down with the magical song.
Steve panted heavily. “OK, I’m a law school dropout.”
Zoey looked puzzled.
Steve explained, “dad and grandpa had forced me to apply for law school and stuff. I hated that. I want to be an artist. So I gave up after three solid days.”
Zoey sighed. “Oh, really? How did they take it?”
Steve replied, “dad still doesn’t know. And grandpa isn’t exactly pleased. He deems me crazy.”
Zoey shrugged. “OK. You sure are a good artist. Is there already a gallery exhibiting your works?”
Unfortunately, there wasn’t.
Zoey had to think about her own future. She would have loved to become a fashion artist.
But her parents wanted her to go to law school, business school, or pedagogical school.
She was still hiding her wish. “OK, Steve, do you know something about marriage law, especially marriage with foreigners?”
Steve could not tell from the top of his head. “But I’ve still got my books.”
Zoey nodded. She promised to get him a banjo, at least a borrowed one, in turn for looking through the books.
Steve had looked successfully through his books.
Zoey listened to his conclusions.
In order to perform a legally buinding wedding in the United States, Euka would have had to apply for a K1 visum beforehand.
This had not been the case.
The wedding between Euka and Drake was thus by no means legally valied in America.
Eudonian laws did not matter for this.
Zoey had been able to borrow a banjo from some freak. “I have to return it next monday, though.”
Steve smiled. He strummed the chords.
Zoey sang along with Steve.
The Camptown ladies sing the song:
Doo Dah! Doo dah!
The Camptown racetrack’s five miles long.
Doo dah doo dah deh!
Going to run all night,
Going to run all day.
I bet my money on a bobtailed nag,
Someone bet on the hay.
Euka was bitterly disappointed by Zoey’s news.
And so were her parents.
Drake and Audrey, on the other hand, sighed for relief.
Just like Euka, her parents were sick and tired of their own homeland in Eudonia. They had arranged the whole crap for the sole purpose of being able to migrate to America and save the high Eudonian taxes.
Euka was now deadly sad.
A return to Eudonia would have made her go insane.
Eudonia was so boring, disgusting, and icky.
The boys sucked completely.
A marriage with an American boy appeared to have been her only promising way out.
Zoey suggested, “OK, Euka, why don’t you go to an American boarding school, such as ‘Pacific Coast Academy’?”
Euka wondered, “‘Pacific Coast Academy’?”
Zoey told Euka a lot about that boarding school. “You may find an American boy and then get apply for a legal wedding visum within the next two years.”
Euka grinned. “That is cool!”
Her parents appeared to approve of that school, too.
Zoey thought about an exchange program. She thought to herself, “Euka could come as an exchange student. A girl from ‘Pacific Coast Academy’ would have to go to Eudonia, in turn. I may already think of some suited exchanger. Dana Cruz! You have always bullied Dustin. You will pay for that, and for backstabbing me!”
[euka] from Drake & Josh : We’re Married!
[coming round the mountain] This song works as a sedativum in Drake & Josh : Really Big Shrimp.
[the banjo] seen in iCarly : iRock The Votes
[oprah winfrey] mentioned occasionally throughout Drake & Josh
Table of Contents
Quite a few things happened during the last weeks of the academic year.
Josh Nichols had won the local fair for the first time of his life.
Usually, Mindy Crenshaw had beaten him there. For example, she had cloned her puppies, beating the living hell out of Josh.
But with the “creature” having eloped with Wayne “Firewire” Gilbert, the way was now free for Josh Nichols.
In her absense, a somewhat scary magnet was enough.[joshs magnet]
During the next year, Josh Nichols would probably have to face Quinn Pensky from “Pacific Coast Academy”, Zoey’s treacherous ex-friend.
Quinn had recently cultivated a new plant, a cross between an apple tree and a banana bush.
The new plant was known as a banapple plant[banapple]
.
The fruits were a bit caustic and not yet edible, though.
Quinn would still have to work on her project.
But her chances had improved.
Wayne Gilbert’s departure had opened the gates of the science club of “Pacific Coast Academy” for girls.
This increased Quinn’s access to various resources and to new assistants, viz. Wayne’s former pals Neil and Andrew[neil and andrew]. It was like the first sunray of the new day after the dark night of being forced to doing all scientific research in the secret.
The next science fair on the state level could turn into an interesting competition.
But also some Simon Nelson Cooke from James K. Polk was supposed to be a genius.
Josh was now completely stoked. He even accepted a history project with Drake, choosing the year of thirty wars. He was fascinated by the defenestration of Prague.
Contrary to Drake’s opinion, that event had not involved the removal of all the windows from the city of Prague.
Little later, Josh received news from a new job for his dad Walter.
The messy weather frog had been selected by Peggy Shermin[peggy shermin]
from a very popular Californian broadcasting corporation as the new weather reporter.
That corporation belonged to Brad Eichman[brad eichman], the principal of famous “Hollywood School for the Professional Performance Arts”.
Those connections would potentially turn useful … one day.
Untouched by all that, Joshuah Nichols decided to grow himself a moustache.
Most fellow kids thought this totally uncool.
At the same time, Drake had problems with a girlfriend named Torrie Woods[torrie woods]
, younger sister of aforementioned Denise Woods. He had trashed her for no reason, just because switching girlfriends was cool. But he had suffered badly from this.
Zoey had tried hard to dissuade Drake from committing those stupidities.
But he refused to listen. He tried to get her back by making her jealous with another girl, Elizabeth Prince[elizabeth prince]
.
Zoey hated this demeanour. She forced Drake rudely to make his mind up. Strangely enough, she had got a great influence on the barely controllable jerk.
As a result, Drake lost both hot girls, but he won some valuable experience potentially usuful for his future ways of dealing with girls. Maybe after the dark times of Drake rushing from one girlfriend to the other, Zoey’s advices would make him see the ultimate daylight.
Josh still refused to remove his moustache.
Megan had removed half of it over night, but for no avail.
Her action had not been sufficient to get Josh to see the ugliness of his moustache.
The first rays of daylight had shocked Josh, but not broken his pride.
Finally, Zoey decided to make him a suitable outfit matching well with the stain of shame ornating his upper lip.
The academic year was now over.
Summer break was there.
Inspite of dad’s improved job, Josh Nichols would be allowed to complete high school at “Belleview” and keep on living with Drake.
Zoey spend much of her time in “Première Theater”.
Dustin was sometimes with her. He was especially watching out for aforementioned Wendy Gellar. He still had got that insane crush on her.
Megan did not approve of that at all, thinking, “Wendy and Dustin don’t even match. Wendy must be pretty hollow to hanker like an idiot after Drake. Dustin is all smart and sweet. He deserves so much better, someone like …” She blushed deeply. But she refused to come out.
It must have hurt Megan seeing her crush have a crush on her own best friend.
But she had got an idea for Helen. “For us cimnema goers, it’s sometimes hard to keep all the snacks and drinks together, you know … pop corn, ginger ale, root beer, potato crisps, stuff like that.”
Zoey nodded solemnly. She had made quite a few bad experiences.
Megan sighed. “I wanted Josh to work on this universal holder of snacks and drinks with me. But the boob turned it down.”
Zoey liked the device.
It was quite simple yet exorbitantly useful. It was nowhere near thos complicated inventions by Quinn Pensky, devices tending to blow up in your face when least expected.
Megan wanted to ask Helen for some financial support.
Finally, the device would help Helen to make her customers more happy and thence earn much more money than those days.
Helen took a stern look at the thing. Finally, she agreed.
Josh looked aghast. “How may Helen support such a stupid thing?”
Zoey advised Megan, “don’t listen to Drake and Josh. Boys lack the necessary instinct for useful things.”
Megan sighed. “No doubt about it!”
Zoey continued, “however, I suggest some modification, kind of, sort of.”
Megan looked at Zoey. “What sort of modification?”
Zoey panted heavily. “It works nicely, but it could bear some esthetic touch, some ornation.”
Megan shrugged. “You’re the fashion freak. You tell me!”
Zoey smiled.
Alas, Helen had to make a very grave announce. “My eyes did not work as well as usual during the last weeks. Thus I’ve confused quite a few movies. Now Dr. Gazer told me to get some eye lasering. The best expert for this in southern California is Dr. Birnbaum[dr birnbaum]. The surgery will render me blind for a few days. One of you needs to take care of me. Josh?”
Josh Nichols twitched. “Sure, Helen!”
Zoey sighed. “He will mess it all up.”
Megan nodded solemnly. “You can’t entrust a blind person to a boob.”
That was so right.
Megan gathered a bunch of friends, including also Dustin, for the next movie suited for tweens.
Exactly as expected, Drake and Josh had been wreaking havoc during Helen’s temporary blindness. They had displaced her eye drops.
Even worse, Drake abused the whirl pool in Helen’s loft for a party with random people, probably including hobos. He even made fun of Helen’s lack of ability to see the things going on in her apartment.
Zoey hacd to intervene in order to clean up after the boobs.
Helen explained the origin of those signs of luxury. She had been a child actress and a dancer during her youth, performing in popular soap operas until the age of thirty. Shge had even had a crush on Hollywood csar Malcolm Reese.
Zoey had got a mischiebous idea. She would try to bring Helen and Malcolm together again.
Helen as a step mother would be part of a due punishment for filthy dandy Logan Reese.
Zoey also imagined Euka hitting on Logan.
This was a very entertaining thought.
Zoey’s plab of an exchange of Euka and Dana had ultimately worked out.
Dana was now on her way to Eudonia.
Noone was allowed to be continually rude to Dustin without experiencing severe punishment.
And Dana’s deportation was worse than any capital penalty ever invented.
After many hours of blindness, experienced by Helen as some particularly dark night, the first daylight hit her retina again, due to Zoey’s prudent care.
Megan had already started the business.
The new devices looked like bouquets of little caleidoscopic jewels.
Many guests flocked into “Première Theater”. They did not care about the movies.
The snack holders were their main reason to come to the cinema.
Helen was totally surprised. She decided to employ Zoey Brooks as the Vice President of “Première Theater”.
Zoey was flabbergasted. But she accepted for the time being.
Would this turn out well?
Zoey’s first task was that of organising a première party for a short movie by Malcolm Reese featuring, among some known stars, a promising young actress named Lola Martinez.
The hot Latina in Zoey’s age had hitherto been a student at “Palmwood”, a school run by the Holywood trades union. But she would now transfer to “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Zoey beamed. She could use a prolongated arm and telescope eye at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Lola seemed totally promising for that task.
[joshs magnet] cf. Drake & Josh : Mindy is back
[banapple] cf. Zoey 101 : Backpack
[neil and andrew] from Zoey 101 : Robot Wars
[peggy shermin] only appears in Drake & Josh : The Affair
[brad eichman] identifies Principal Eichman, cameo in Victorious : Pilot, and TVS producer Brad from iCarly : iCarly Saves TV.
[torrie woods] This is Torrie from Drake & Josh : Playing The Field.
The surname is chosen according to the same actress’s cameo in an earlier episode
[elizabeth prince] Eliza from Drake & Josh : Playing The Field.
The surname is from same actress’s cameo in third-party owned film Without A Trace.
[dr birnbaum] only mentioned in Drake & Josh : Helen’s Surgery
Table of Contents
It was the last week of the summer vacations.
School at “Pacific Coast Academy” would start a week later than at “Belleview”, anyways.
Zoey had decided to spend a lot of time with Dustin during the vacations. Against her inner disgust, she had forced herself into talking to her little brother about girls and little babies.
The horror lesson taught by Megan Parker was incredibly strong.
Zoey could not bear the thought of leaving poor, innocent Dustin alone at a school with dozens of girls lusting for him like crazy.
Dustin should not get stuck with a heartless girl like Samantha Puckett alias Trisha Kirby.
During the summer break, Dustin was fairly safe, though. He did not play a lot with local girls anymore, not with local boys, either.
Zoey had got everything under control.
Dustin was excited. “Drake’s naighbour kid, Robbie Carmichael[robbie carmichael]
, will move top ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. We will be the same grade, maybe even share a few classes.”
Zoey smiled. “Good for you!”
Suddenly, Zoey Brooks’s cellular phone rang.
The blond Mary Sue picked it up. “Zoey Brooks, … hi, Helen!”
Helen Baxter moaned, “Josh has not showed up at work today. Doyou know what’s going on?”
Zoey shrugged helplessly. “No idea … but I will check it out for sure!” She panted heavily. Then she termionated the call in order to ask the Parkers. She started dialling. “Hi Megan, is Josh here?”
Megan gasped. “The boob had broken his foot. They are probably gping to cut it open and take it off.”
Megan’s voice was incredibly calm.
Zoey was not as pkleased. “What? Which hospital?”
Megan explained, “‘St. Schneider’s’ … Drake is with him. He is dressed as a doc and hits on the nurses in training.”
Zoey gasped. “You know it is illegal to pretend being a medic? He may be arrested and locked away for that!”
Megan beamed. “Oh, really? That would be cool!”
Zoey did not think so. She had to do something about it.
Zoey had just reached the foyer of St. Schneider’s.
What name for a hospital was that?
Zoey had been reguklarly to sunday school as a tween girl. But she had never heard about such a saint.
Things smelled fishy.
The door woman rebutted her.
Not being a relative of Josh, she was not allowed to visit him.
Josh’s situation was a bit complicated.
Due to the ongoing divorce of Audrey and Walter, Audrey Parker was no longer considered a legal relative.
In order to legalise his statement, Walter Nichols needed to give his consent.
Unfortunately, he had forgotten to provide Audrey with a legal permit granting her partial guardian’s rights.
Prof. Carlson[prof carlson] had thus to postpone the proper treatment until the arrival of legal documents.
Of course, the door woman had not informed Zoey about this.
But the blond teenage lady could derive it from bits and pieces of the conversation between the nurses and the docs. She looked around, watching out for “Dr.” Drake.
A group of docs and nurses passed by.
Drake Parker was among them.
Zoey had got no troubles spotting the fraudulent dandu. She panted and walked up to him. “Drake?”
The rock idol gasped. “Ms. Brooks! Don’t call me ‘Drake’! I am Dr. Nussbaum[dr nussbaum]. I’ve graduated at the age of thirteen from ‘Harvard Med School’. I grew up on a corn farm in Kansas. Or so says Doc Carlson. I should have arrived in the evening hours only. But now I’m a biit early, so bear with it!”
Zoey choked, “you can’t poetend to be a doc! This is illegal and may get you into serious trouble, at least in the case of an emergency popping up.”
Drake replied, “I know! But the situation is under control. I will not cut open any patient’s tummy. I am just here in order to flirt with nurses. I’ve already got five dates for this week. Can you imagine it? This hospital is a veritable girl marked. Nurses, docs, …”
Zoey grunted for excruciating disgust of the worst sort. Apparently, she was unable to talk any sort of sense into Drake Jared Parker alias “Doc Nussbaum”. She had top think about Kansas, the homeland of the real Dr, Nussbaunm.
Her former “best friend forever” Nicole Bristow was equally from Kansas.
Of course, Kansas was still big enough to make this irrelevant.
There were at least two things left for Zoey to do.
On the one hand, she had to stop or delay the real Dr. Nussbaum.
On the other hand, she had to talk some kind of sort of sense into Drake in order to prevent him from committing more stupidities.
Drake would probably have listened to a nurse or female doc, one of the younger sort, that is.
Infiltrating one into the staff of “St. Schneider’s” would have been a great deal.
Dressing as a doc would have been illegal.
But maybe a voluntary nurse, an unpaid intern, would have gotten away.
Zoey could not do that. She was not really a good actress. And she was already known to Drake and Josh. Thus she decided to hire an actress to do so: Lola Martinez. She picked her cellular phione. She panted heavily while dialling the number.
Lola was at her disposition. “Hi, Zoey! I’m so excited for the start of my life at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’.”
Zoey nodded. “Fine! I want you to get some acting practice.” She explaine dthe situation.
Lola grinned. “Cool! Hospital movies are always popular. That will be quite some practice. Expect me at dawn at ‘St. Schneider’s’!.”
Zoey sighed for relief.
Lola better was there in time.
The aspiring Hollywood superstar arrived at seven post meridiem at the foyer of “St. Schneider’s”.
Zoey sigfhed deeply.
Many medics had been called on and off into various stations of the hospital.
Fortunately, there had not yet been a Dr. Nussbaum among them.
This would have spelt severe hacoc.
Lola yelled, “hello, I’m an unpaid intern. Where do I get my uniform?”
An established nurse showed her the way.
Zoey was still standing.
A young man entered the foyer and sked the door woman, “I’m Dr. Nussbaum. I’m a bit late, soory. Dr. Carlson expexts me for some surgery. Some feeak had squished his foot with a heavy workout weight.”
The door woman sent the doc into the doc’s lounge. “Dr. Carlsen with wait for you there. Styrange. There is already a Dr. Nussbaum here.”
Zoey went pale.
The tide was high.
A swarm of docs and nurses passed by.
Drake was one of them.
“Unpaid intern” Lola Martinez was hanging at his lips.
She shuddered for disgust.
But, OK., that was probably part and parccel with Lola’s rôle as a nice auxiliary nurse.
Lola whispered into Drake’s ear, “I know some nice daek room not far from here. Ho about a nice break?”
Drake beamed. “Sounds cool!”
Lola grabbed Drake by the wrists and guided him away.
Zoey grinned. “I don’t want to know what they are going to do in that corner. But it keeps Drake from starting to perform surgeries.”
Lola came back just two minutes later. “Dr. Nussbaum had just passed out.” She smmiled.
Zoey gasped. “Which Dr. Nussbaum? Drake or the real one?”
Lola asked, “isn’t frake the real one? He’s such a really good kisser! I was just a bit too hot for him.”
Zoey sighed. “Who are the better kissers: Rock stars or docs?”
Lola grinned. “Rock idols of course! I took his breath away.”
Zoey nodded. “Drake is a rock idol.”
Lola smiled. “See you! I’m needed in order to sort the laundry of the children station!” And she was gone.
The alert rang. “Dr. Nussbaum has been found unconscious in the storage room for anesthetics. Anyone available to surgery station three!”
Apparently, it was not Lola’s excruciating hotness, but leaking containers of anesthetics having caused the collapse of Drake Parker alias “Dr. Nussbaum”.
The real Dr. Nussbaum showed up at the receptionist. “Sorry! I am the real Dr. Nussbaum.”
The receptionist did not know what to believe.
Dr. Nussbaum was upset. “Listen, you creep! I have not made all the way from my corn farm in Kansas in order to participate in such a stupid farce! Even my bimboish neighbour’s girl, Nicole Bristow, is easier to bear. I’m leaving. Have a nice one!” He stomped his feet, stripped himself of his medic’s uniform, and flang it straight into the receptionist’s face. Then he walked away in terror.
Zoey gasped. “So Nicole and the real Doc Nussbaum are neighbours? That’s interesting.”
The consternated receptionist removed the uniform from her face. She picked up the microphone. “Attentuion! Dr. Nussbaum has just left the building!”
This would certainly confuse quite a few medics.
Lola came back. “I simply threw all the dirty pieces into one sack. Ready!”
Zoey moned, “OK, you need to use the confusion in order to get Drake out of here.”
Lola nodded. “Will do!” And she was gone.
The receptionist was talking to Dr. Carlson and some other medic. She had been told to look for a substitute for Dr. Nussbaum.
Apparently, it was for the surgery of Josh Nichols.
In the meantime, “St. Schneider’s” had obtained the written permission for the surgery from Walter Nichols.
A few minutes later, Lola was back, arm in arm with a still dazed Drake Parker.
The jerk wondered, “where am I?”
Zoey replied, “Drake’s it’s all well. Your mom is coming to pick you up in a few minutes and also to visit Josh. She has got the license to do so now.”
Drake was still not right in his head.
Zoey wondered, “How did you fix that?”
Lola explained, “I ran into the corridor and shouted about free coffee and muffins in the cafeteria. Everyone ran away. Then I kissed Drake awake and dragged him hereto.” She smiled sweetly.
Zoey sweated.
finally, Audrey Parker arrived. “Megan is already asleep!”
Drake asked, “who is Megan?”
Zoey explained unto Audrey, “he is still a bit dazed. That will pass!”
Audrey believed her. “It’s always the same after those anesthetics!” Then she needed to visit Josh.
Lola declared, “I’ve heard about peanut butter sandwiches in the cafeteria. I’m hungry! Sorry!”
Zoey was OK with that. “You have done a great job. You should get a star rôle in Generic Hospital[generic hospital].”
Lola fainted and rushed away.
Audrey returned.
Drake was now visibly less dizzy. “A super hot fairy must have kissed me. My world went dark. A nd then she kissed me awake again.”
Audrey chuckled. “Sure! Let’s go home! They had to put Josh’s foot into ice in order to soothe his pains and delayy further infections. Now they need to wait for a substitute for some ‘Dr. Nudeporn’ or similar …”
Zoey waved at the mother of Drake. She was overwhelmed by her own tiredness as well.
The next morning, Zoey could not await further news. She came again to “St. Schneider’s”.
Audrey was already there. “Some Dr. Pensky is performing a critical surgery on his foot. She’s pretty young for a surgeon.”
Zoey choked. “Quinn Pensky?”
Audrey nodded solemnly.
Zoey went dizzy.
Ten minutes later, Josh came into the foyer, followed by Quinn. He still limped and needed crutch sticks.
The geek girl explained Josh the technical and biological details of the surgery.
Zoey growled, “Quinn? What are you doing here?”
Quinn glared at Zoey in a venomous manner. “I’ve got a deputy license from Dr. Hollywood[dr hollywood].” She smiled triumphantly at Zoey while exhibiting her diploma.
Zoey sighed.
Quinn shook hands with Audrey. “Josh’s foot just needs to be kept cool during the next day. And no sports for one week!”
Audrey nodded solemnly.
Quinn added. “Josh was my best patient ever, the first one to understand what I was talking about!” She beamed. “Please break something again as soon as possible! You’re the best patient ever!”
Josh smiled. “Will do!”
Zoey shook her head.
Lats night, Drake had slept on the couch.
Megan had been “preparing” all night long the room of the boys for Josh’s return. She had fumbled with the temperature ruler, turning the room into a deep freezer.
Zoey helped Josh walking. “Br, it’s cold here.”
Megan grinned. “The boobs want it cold.”
Drake and Josh nodded. “Yeah, we do! Eh!”
Snow started falling.
Zoey shrugged. “Dr, Pensky told you to keep the foot cool, so what?” She chuckled.
Megan donned a winter coat. “OK, let’s have fun!” She started building sculptures of snow. “These are snow boobs!”
Drake and Josh shivered for cold.
Zoey turned the temperature ruler to normal.
But it would stay cold for quite a few hours. “How about some snowball battle? Boys against girls?”
Megan, Drake, and Josh yelled unison, yeah!
Josh would thus recover pretty soon from his foot’s pain.
Zoey told Lola to keep good care of Dustin in her absence, and to report regularly all the other things going on at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Lola would be in the same classes as Nicole, Quinn, Chase, Michael, and Logan, and sharea doem with Quinn and Nicole. She was predestined for sowing discord among them, at Zoey’s whim. And indeed, the very nexct day, Lola would report some havoc. She would feign being a goth girl and thusly scare the living hell out of Zoey’s former “friends”.
It was a nice start into a new academic year.
[robbie carmichael] cameo from Drake & Josh : Treehouse
also identified with same actor’s rôle as ‘Scxooter’ in Zoey 101 : Favor Chain
[prof carlson] from Zoey 101 : Paging Dr. Drake
[dr nussbaum] cameo in Drake & Josh : Paging Dr. Drake
[generic hospital] spoof off General Hospital, a third-party owned show.
[dr hollywood] various cameos in Big Time Rush
Table of Contents
Zoey Brooks strolled the locker halls. She noticed Drake and Josh fighting. She yelled at them. “Hey! What are you doing?”
Josh bellowed, “Drake has stolen my piece of cake!”
Drake replied, “it was definitely my piece of cake! There was a label on it.”
“Which you changed,” replied Josh.
Drake thundered, “which you changed!”
Zoey shook her head. “Guys! That’s really immature. You are high school kids, not elementary school boys. Act your age!”
Drake and Josh refused to listen.
It was no different than six years ago, upon a baseball match of “San Diego Padres”.
Drake had bought the last foam finger from the concession stand, in front of Josh’s nose.
The two of them had gotten into a fight back then.
They had not been step brothers at that time.
Their encounter had been a nearly random one.
But the consequences of their encounter had been desastrous.
They were now still fighting over the sutuation from back then.
A girl names Annabel seemed to have been in the centre of the inflict, besides the foam finger.
Zoey sighed deeply, unable to prevent Drake and Josh from bashing their skulls into smithereens.
Zoey expected Lola’s report from life at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
And then her cellular phone rang.
Zoey picked it up. “Hey! Lola! I’ve been waiting for you!”
Lola chuckled “I know!”
Zoey moaned, “so, what’s going on?”
Lola reported, “we have read old yearbooks.”
Zoey sighed. She had to think about Drake’s and Josh’s mini war, based on events dating several years back. “Must have been fun?”
Lola moaned, “not really. ‘Pacific Coast Academy’ must have been totally lame without girls.”
Zoey smiled. “Oh, I guess so!”
Lola explained, “now Mr. Bender ordered us to contribute something to a time capsule to be dug in the soil of ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. Future generations of ‘Pacific Coast Academy’ students will thus get reminded of our life here and now.”
Zoey grinned. “That sounds to be a nice thing.”
Lola grunted, “but why? In twenty years or so, peoiple will just have to watch my many oscar awarded movies.”
Zoey could not contradict. “I know., But that’s how school works. Assignments, assignments, … and on and on and on it goes.”
Lola sighed deeply. “Not with me! Oh, Chase and Michael will sing a song about life at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’.”
Then Zoey told Lola about her recent encounter with Drake and Josh. “Drake now refuses to share a room with Josh, and he moves in with Megan. But she is disgusted by the thought of spending the nights with that boob. If only I could retrieve that witness girl, Anabel[anabel]”
Lola sighed. “Oh, there is an Anabel, a junior, at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. She’s the niece of the principal Eichman from nearby ‘Hollywood School for the Professional Performance Arts’.”
Zoey sighed. “That’s probably an incident.”
The age may have been correct, though.
But that was the only real hint.
Lola asked, “can’t Drake spend his nights with me? I mean, Megan and Drake are siblings, they can’t have any fun. I know a lot of cool fun things to do when locked into a dark room with Drake.”
Zoey sighed deeply. “Oh, I’m sure you can. But that’s not an option.” She had to think about Drake’s endless string of rapidly changing girl friends.
And Josh’s sleeping habits made it possible for Drake to sneak his girlfriends in and out at whim without Josh noticing or even waking up.
But Megan would not allow for such a perversity going on in her room.
By acting, Lola had tricked Annabel into admitting to having been at a match of the “San Diego Padres” during the same year, more or less.
While not very specific, Zoey could not expect much better from a random witness of a random event from like six years ago.
So Annabel was now ready to come to San Diego for the weekend in order to decide in the horrible mayhem concerning Drake and Josh.
Zoey was already awaiting the witness of the foam finger trouble.
Megan had tried to fetch Mr. Spootnik[mr spootnik]
Annabel Eichman was totally surprised upon hering about the identity of the contestants. “IT was really rock star Drake?” Of course, she had heard a lot about the band leader and dandy from San Diego. She had not been at “Pacific Coast Academy” the year before and thus nort been present at his concert.
But Drake had already been in many radio shows, although never any live broadcasts.
Zoey nodded solemnly. “It’s the one and only Drake Jared Parker.”
Annabel’s jaw dropped to the flor, causing an earthquake of no less than Richter 5.
She stated, “so, Drake had already been a candy back then.”
Zoey sighed. “I so knew it.”
Annabel’s story was surprising.
Neither Drake nor Josh had started the whole turmoil.
Megan, a little toddler at that point, had thrown her cookie at the back of Josh’s head.
The boob’s skull had already been fairly voluminous all those years ago and thus very easy to hit.
Megan had seen Josh a threat for her brother’s foam finger and tried to nbeat the robber unconscious with that cookie. She had not exactly achieved that, but got Josh mad at Drake and thus start beating him.
Drake had won the fight over the foam finger.
Now Megan was proud of having got the first war between the boobs started.
Zoey sighed deeply. She imagined the fights between Drake and Josh going on until their old age.
Drake and Josh, having losty all their teeth, would argue over their porridge.
But now the inevitable happened.
Drake started hitting shamelessly on Annabel Eichman.
Her uncle Brad was not only the principal iof “Hollywood School for the Professional Performance Arts”, but also the producer of broadcasting corporation TVS.
This was probably the key to his first live performance in TV.
For the better or worse, he could now also leave Megan’s dormitory room and return to Josh’s.
Several nights of terror were over.
Megan felt tons of relief. But she would keep the foam fingers.
It had not been Drake’s in the first place.
Megan totally deserved it for her heroic deed of throwing a cookie at the big headed dork.
On the other hand, Lola Martinez was little pleased with the development. She had made it possible for Annabel to see Drake again for the first time in almost seven years.
And now Annabel was grabbing Drake off her?
The future Hollywood star did not feel this right. She was up to bloody revenge. “One night, Annabel will be so sorry!” On the other hand, Lola decided to put something into the time capsule.
Megan had sent her the foam finger.
It was now a symbol for the return of the past, the past of kissing Drake during the night in “St. Schneider’s”.
On the other hand, not only Drake’s sleepless nights had found an end.
Also Lola was now no longer bothered by Quinn’s fits of insomnia.
Those had been a great problem.
Now Lola could look forward to the possibility of getting Drake and Annabel to break up again.
[anabel] cameo in a flashback in Drake & Josh : Foam Finger.
Her surname in the sequel, viz. ‘Eichman’, derives from the identification of Principal Eichman, a cameo in Victorious : Pilo with same actor’s guest rôle, viz. Brad, in iCarly : iCarly Saves TV.
Brad has got a daughter portrayed by the same actress as Anabel.
[mr spootnik] from Drake & Josh : Foam Finger, the vendor of foam fingers.
But Zoey’s idea had been better.
Of course, the blond Mary Sue was lucky to have had a friend in the right place.
Table of Contents
12.1. Lucy Banks[lucy banks]
Drake Parker’s relationship with Annabel Eichman had not been really successful.
The two of them had to break it after the usual two weeks.
But, nevertheless, Drake was invited to a show by Annabel’s uncle. He was now even more keen on a good public image.
And getting a new girlfriend after every two weeks, in average, was the main secret of Drake’s popularity.
Or so Drake wanted to make it seem.
Now a new girl had make it into Drake’s filthy arms: Lucy Banks. But she had got one big disadvantage: She was a muscular tomboy. She was able to push football stars out of her way when needed.
For Drake, this was a real problem.
He would have loved to imagine girls as weak.
But this was so off the road.
Too bad, Drake had to witness Lucy’s muscular power right in front opf his eyes.
One evening, the two of them were dating in “Première Theater.”
Two jocks caused troubles.
Lucy got them to shut up, using her blank hands.
But Drake still refused to believe her.
There was only one wat for him to settle that: A wrestling match between the two of them.
Zoey had heard about the impending death match. She shook her head. “Boys can be so stubborn. Lucy will have to pull punches like crazy in order to keep him from getting his body wasted.” This year, Zoey was the captain of the “Belleview” high school basketball team, For that avail, she had to reduce her work as a co-manager of “première Theater” severely.
Drake was in the basketball team, too.
Zoey had thus watched him a few times on his feet.
Drake’s hands and fingers were great.
But his leg activities were like … not so good.
At least Drake had never concentrated on them.
This one sided approachto basketball would never allow Drake to become a real basketball star.
And wrestling was not much different.
You needed to be in control of all of your body at the same time in order to make it anywhere.
For Zoey, strong girls were nothing unusual.
Bully Dana Cruz was a typical example. She had been able to lift heavy steel weights like cotton swabs. Fortunately, she was now in Eudonia, way out of the reach of Drake’s girl radar.
Also, Lola’s little sister Shelby was supposed to be very muscular.
Lola had never admitted to that. She had generally avoided talking about her sister.
Zoey had been constructing some sort of knowledge from background conversations during phone calls.
Megan had informed Zoey about the exact location and date of the death match: Tonight in the room of Drake and Josh. She had also requested Zoey to attend as an umpire.
Zoey had not declined. She was needed to talk some sense into Drake in the case of an impending catastrophe.
Megan had also invited a bunch of elementary school kids as paying visitors.
Drake was upset by all that. He wanted the money from the sale of the tickets.
Megan cheated on him by lying about the price of the tickets.
Thus Drake only got half of the bucks.
Zoey sighed. She was ready to conduct the lethal showdown.
Megan had got a real gong bell in order to initiate, interrupt, and end the turns of the combat.
The fight started.
The boys in the audience cheered for Drake.
The girls in the audience cheered for Lucy.
Zoey watchd Drake and Lucy carefully.
As expected, Lucy was busy pulling punches like crazy.
Drake’s legs were totally stiff.
Lucy could have wrecked him in less than no time.
Megan was now also running bets.
The match appeared to continue for hours.
It was already late at night.
Finally, Drake broke down. He had not been touched by Lucy in many minutes. He had just clumsily tried to sneak behind her and land a grip. But he had failed miserably in doing so. Now he plummeted to the floor like a sack of lard.
Megan applauded wholeheartedly. “Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!”
The winner grinned. “Drake was such a whimp. At least he may boast with having got himself knocked out.” She cackled mercilessly.
But Drake would not take things that easy.
Zoey Brooks had been running duccessfully for class presidency of the freshmen of “Belleview” high school.
Josh Nichols had won the elections for the juniors at teh same school.
But what had happened at “Pacific Coast Academy”?
Lola’s report was uttermost shocking.
Chase Bartholomew Matthews had one the presidential elections. But he was so unsuited for such a responsible office.
This cried for an intervention.
Lola would have voted against him.
But the only alternative would have been Mark del Figgalo, a total lamer and dweeb.
Lola had to puke each and every time crossing his way. Thus she had been forced to vote for Chase as the lesser evil.
Zoey told Lola about the recent events in “Belleview”.
Lola was totally interested in everything having to do with Drake Parker.
The news about Drake dating yet another girl was annoying.
But Lola Martinez for sure had to get accustomed to it.
And then there was the news about Drake’s loss to a girl in a wrestling match.
Lola gasped. She wondered, “is he hurt?” She was not concerned about his defeat as such. She was way less keen on athletics. She just wanted a good kisser and an idol of the masses to boast with.
Zoey could negate Lola’s question properly. “Just standing KO.”
Lola started sobbing. “Don’t tell this to the public! It will be devastating for his career!”
Zoey was able to keep secrets.
Lola was much more bubbly and liable to leaking secrets.
But this time, it did not matter at all.
Megan Parker had already posted pictures about Drake’s defeat onto her web site, meganparker dot com.
Not many people had used to visit that site.
But things had changed rapidly since the honor council.
What had Lucy done unto Drake?
Drake Parker took his defeat very hard. He could not forgive Lucy having beaten him, and all that without even touching him.
Another relationship of Drake Parker had thusly gone down the drain.
This humiliation made it impossible for him to continue his career.
He cancelled his casting dates for Eichman’s show.
The show host would have made endlessly fun of the rock idol for having been too weak to wrestle successfully against a girl.
Drake would have been at the very bottom of his young career and the laughing stock of the Hollywood scene.
His local concerts would be cancelled for good, too.
Zoey was not happy about Drake’s decision. But she could not change it. She hoped Lola to be able to do so.
But Drake was currently inaccessible.
Not even Josh was able to talk any trace of a sense into his brother0like room mate.
Things would soon be worse.
Lucy would soon go and face national champion Maya Feckner[maya feckner] in an exhibitional wrestling match in Los Angeles.
Drake would just be known as the biggest loser of the county.
Was there any chance for anyone to get Drake back onto his feet?
[lucy banks] Lucy is from Drake & Josh : Girl Power
The surname is taken from same actress’s rôle in some third-party owned shows.
[maya feckner] cameo in iCarly : iFight Shelby Marx
Table of Contents
Drake and Josh had been a bit strange during the following weeks.
At school, Zoey noticed them occasionally with pieces of wool in their clothes.
In addition, they smelled beastailly.
Zoey wanted an explanation.
Josh sighed, “Megan told us to refrain from pranks, but only if …”
Zoey looked puzzled, “only if what?”
Drake continued on his step brother’s behalf. “well, she has bought a sheep from the interweb. His named is Bawawawb.”
Zoey chuckled. “That explains the wool scraps, and also the animalic stench.”
Josh sighed for disgust. “And I am allergic against sheep!” He twitched. “You see?”
Zoey snickered, “you are allergic against everything. What does not make you twitch?”
Josh looked in a sheepish manner.
Drake shrugged. “That is so … true!”
Josh glared aghast at his step brother. “Anyways, we have to guard Bawawawb and hide him from mom.”
Zoey snickered. “Good luck! Oh, do you want a woolen vest as a Christmas gift.”
Drake growled, “you don’t dare to!”
Zoey ran away.
Josh wondered, “what was that supposed to mean?”
Zoey made it into a safe corner. She had recently also chatted with Lola.
The little drama queen was now so close to getting her first full length movie rôle in a film by Malcolm Reese.
Logan had organised this.
Unfortunately, this could not mean much good.
Zoey was happy for Lola making it into a full length movvie. But she could not trust Logan Reese by any stretch of the word.
The dandy was uttermost likely up to some perversities.
Uncle Glazer showed up at the home of Zoey and her parents. He cackled. “Two hundred bucks earned easily.”
Zoey wondered, “how?”
Glazer growled, “Drake Parker and Josh Nixchols … they keep a sheep at home. Now it was sick. They had mistaken it as a male sheep. But it is female, and it was pregnant. When I arrived, the little lamb was alreasy right there. I charged them for the diagnosis, and for not telling Mrs. Parker. That was so much fun.” He laughed.
Alas. Zoey did not deem it funny by any stretch of the word.
How could her greedy bastard uncle required that much for diagnosing the sheep’s pregnancy after the birth of the lamb, and for not telling Audrey?
That was by no means fair.
Zoey sighed deeply. She hoped Drake and Josh to get away with it.
Fortunately, only Audrey was to be fooled.
Walter Bichols was no longer among them, as he had left the building with Coco Wexler about half a year earlier.
This had made it much easier for Drake and Josh to sneak things past the stupid mother.
It was All Saints’ Day.
The sheep was still well hidden in the residence of the Parkers and Nichols.
But Drake’s and Josh’s savings were converging uniformly to zilch.
Lola gave a very lengthy report of the Halloween celebrations at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
There seems to be some haunted house tradition here at “Pacific Coast Academy”
Each year, the high school freshmen organise a horror trip for the elementary school trip.
This year, Logan Reese was in charge with everything. I.e. Logan paid the others and yelled them all over the place.
Quinn Pensky was dressed as Albert Einstein.
Nicole Bristow was dressed as Dorothy from Frank Baum’s Wizard of Oz, appropriate for a wench from Kansas. She had gota tin axe stuck in her back.
Michael Barret was dressed like a zombie. He was not present in the mansion.
Chase Bartholomew Matthews was dressed like a sorcerer. But he claimed to be a vampire, with black wings and some painted pinted fangs in his face.
Each cheap mask artist would be able to do that better.
Then they entered the haunted mansion, barring Michael.
Logan had told the latter to wait outside for some delivery van.
Then the manion was opened.
Logan scared the living hell out of the kids, especially out of Dustin and his friends.
But I have got teh rôle. So I do not care!
And you won’t guess it:
Michael was mistaken by two foreign visitors unfamiliar with Halloween for a badly injured guy and taken to the infirmary, and mistreated by teh nurse in a painful manner.
That was really fun!
Lola laughed mercilessly.
Zoey was glad about Michael’s well-deserved mishaps. But she was not comfortable with the thought of Dustin getting scared.
And there was something fishy in Lola’s report.
According to Zoey’s judgment, she must have
The next Saturday, Ashley called Zoey Brooks. She had to talk about that Halloween night at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
The blond Mary Sue was not really willing to listen to the arrogant diva’s trashtalk.
But Ashley grunted, “it is urgent! Dustin has been scared unconscious by Lola Martinez!”
Zoey gasped. “What? Why does nobody tell me and mom and dad?”/
Ashley grunted, “the little bugger is too embarrassed. Upon waking up, he begged on his kneees to keep it a secret.”
Zoey panted. She muttered unto herself “typical Dustin!” Then she wondered, “so, what has Lola got to do with that?”
Ashley replied, “she has been hiding in the dungeon, dressed as a bleeding corpse. Dustin was one of the kids seeing her first. He lost his consciousness on site.”
Zoey was consternated.
Apparently, Ashley had most likely only acted for envy when reporting back to Zoey. But she had been the first to tell Zoey the truth.
Everyone else, including especially Lola, would have remained silent about Dustin’s temporary comatose state.
According to Zoey Brooks, that was absolutely scandalous by any sense of the word.
Zoey banged her head against the wall. She fell on her knees. She had trusted Lola to take care of Dustin and to report loyally about everything going on at “Pacific Coast Academy” in her absence.
And what had Lola done? She had not only belittled Dustin’s mishap, she had also caused it by playing a bleeding corpse.
In Zoey’s book, this was a completely inappropriate practical Halloween joke, nothing to do unto elementary school kids such as Dustin Brooks.
Zoey would think about some excessively harsh words to tell Lola.
In addition, there was little to no reason left for the blond Mary Sue to trust her backstabbing “friend” Lola Martinez any longer.
Zoey needed to look for a new, more reliable watchdog for Dustin.
This would not be easy.
The kids flocked through the locker halls of “Belleview”.
The sheep, viz. Bawawawb, was finally gone.
But there was now another problem.
Drake reported, “last night, I woke up.”
Josh growled, “even I did!”
Drake remarked, “because I scratchhed your brokenb foot.”
Josh’s foot was mostly fine by now. But it still showed some visiable traces of the accident.
Josh grunted, “I told you not to do things like this!”
Drake shrugged. “The noise came from the garage.”
Josh twitched. “Indeed!”
Drake continued, “so we wnet there, with our electric torches, and looked inside. What did we see? Megan and a horse with stripes.”
Josh growled, “zoologically, these are called ‘zebras’.”
Drake shrugged. “Whatever. We were already ready to tell mom about Megan’s latest pet. Bawawawb hd been horrible. But the exotic horse is much bigger.”
Joshuah nodded.
Drake continued, “but Megan told us to shut up. She needs us as henchmen for her business.”
Zoey shrugged. “What business?”
Drake replied, “we are now raising zebra stripes.”
Josh clarified, “for pedestrian crossings! They are high on demand.”
Drake nodded solemnly. “As he says! That’s why they are zebra stripes. Fortunately, they don’t use tiger stripes for the streets.”
Josh trembled. “I don’t want to take care of a tiger. They have got those big teeth, and they roar, and they are so strong.” He twitched like an idiot.
Zoey gasped. She waved and walked away, thinking, “some boys just deserve to be abused by their little sisters.” She better dedicated herself to the more important task of finding a new watch dog for Dustin.
Table of Contents
A few days later, Joshuah Nichols was particularly stoked. He had just been accepted to the TTT programme.
This was short for “Teachers Tomorrow Today”.
In the frame of this programme, suitable high school pupils were given the chance to operate as teachers for the lower classes.
A successful participation would be attested by the California trades union of teachers and the ministery of education.
This diploma was considered as a high ranking criterium for an application at most of the decently ranking colleges in the state of California, or even outside.
Josh was of course hell bent on making it to some cool college. He had applied for teaching science to elementary school kids.
Mrs. Hunter[mrs hunter] was the responsible experienced teacher in charge with writing the qualifications for the unpaid auxiliary teachers.
Zoey Brooks had heard about Josh’s destiny. But she was not particularly keen on science. Nevertheless, she deemed Josh a fairly good teacher.
Finally, Katie gave in. She would repeat the lame birthday party, this time with Megan.
On the other hand, Drake Parker was desperate.
His best drummer had run away.
And a pop rock band without a drum line was pointless.
Drake tried hard to learn some drumming. But he messed it up badly.
Nobody else in his band could sub for the departed drummer.
There was no way past the necessity of looking for a new, better one.
But all the already discovered talents costed a fortune.
And good rock drummers did not yet grow on trees.
Not even Quinn Pensky, the mistress of bootanic engineering, had hitherto been able to invent the drummer tree.
Time was running out.
Drake’s next paid even was no longer far to go.
Withouta drummer, he would have to cancel it.
This would cost him yet another fortune, and the confidence of potential future customers.
Unfortunately, Josh’s teaching job was not going to be straightforward.
He was scheduled to teach the class of his former step sister, Megan Parker.
For the latter, it was totally embarrassing.
Technically, she may not have been related to Joshuah Nichols for much longer.
The divorce between Walter Nichols and Audrey Parker was only a few months from being valid.
They could not afford a really fast divorce.
But for the kids of Megan’s school, the unfortunate girl would always be consistered as the teacher’s little sister.
This was totally unfair.
The dismay increased after a few minutes of classes.
Joshuah distributed the text books.
They were about advanced molecular chemistry, a subject for AP classes, and nowhere near suited for kids at elementary schools.
But ruthless Josh did not care about the kids’ objections.
Drake walked in. He had been sent by his own teacher to take a skeleton to Josh’s classes.
Neil Farrell[neil farrell], one of Megan’s fclass mates, started drumming with his pencils.
This impressed Drake beyiond any measure.
The jerk was now sure, “I just found my new drummer!”
Josh did not hesitate assigning some hard homework, annoying the kids even more.
Especially Katie Baldwin[katie baldwin] was the most dismayed.
Her birthday was approaching in a few days.
She had invited almost all of her class mates. But now she considered uninviting Megan Parker. She did not want to be a friend of a mean teacher’s little sister.
Zoey was exorbitantly proud of Dustin’s efforts in his classes at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
This included, among others, the science classes.
Zoey’s little brother was deemed the most responsible pupil by his teacher for science, Mr. Gangrel[mr gangrel].
None of Josh’s students had done his homework assigned by Josh Nichols.
Neil, for example, was playing the drums with Drake all night long.
The mean teacherdecided to do a pop up test.
Of course the kids failed miserably.
This increased the hatred of most of the kids towards Megan Parker.
She was now definitely uninvited from Katie’s birthday party.
That was of course completely unfair.
Especially Neil was disappointed. He was now no longer allowed to try out for Drake’s band during the summer break because of his bad grade average. Otherwise he would not pass into middle school.
Megan already started planning some bitter revenge against Joshuah Nichols.
Drake, upset by losing his most gifted future drummer due to some fraud by Josh, was up too joining in.
Once more, some nightly action would teach a lesson to the evil teacher Josh.
And her mood would soon go worse.
According to Ashley Blake, Dustin Brooks had started dating no other than babd girl Samantha Puckett alias Trisha Kirby.
Megan had to throw up on site.
Because of Dustin’s high responsibility, he had been assigned by Mr. Gangrel as Samantha’s lab partner, in a desperate attempt to keep her from poisoning and blowing up the whole lab building.
But things had gone awry.
And now the perverted wench had stolen Dustin from her.
Megan was by no means willing to let Samantha Puckett alias Trisha Kirby get away with that, be it dead or alive.
At the same time, Zoey Brooks, begged by Megan, started negotiating with Katie Baldwin. “It is really not Megan’s fault. She has not chosen her step brother.” Of cpurse, Zoey was little pleased by Dustin’s girl of the month, either.
According to Megan’s reports, Sam was Satan incarnate.
Zoey Brooks was even endlessly much more horrified by the way of getting to know about it.
None of her former friends at “Pacific Coast Academy”, including Lola Martinez, had cared about it and informed Zoey.
Megan had heard it from Ashley Blake.
And the little diva did not have any trustworthy motivations. She had probably spread the news abiout Dustin and Trisha on the campus, like wildfire.
Dustin’s reputation among the decent girls was now probaly destroyed, too, at least according to Zoey Brooks’ learned judgment of the situation.
It was already late at night.
Most of her birthday guests had already gone home.
Neil had gone to the toilets.
Katie was tired. And she remained stubborn.
Zoey wondered, “so you probably don’t have siblings, do you?”
Katie grunted, “I’ve gotb a monozygotic twin sister named Sandy, and an elder sister named Tracy. Both of them go to ‘Pacific Coast Academy’, a boarding school …”
Of course Zoey kne the “Pacific Coast Academy”. “wait, really? The ‘Pacific Coast Academy’? I have been there for a few weeks. Then I got trouble with ttheir big boss, Mr. Bradforf …” She told her long story.
Katie sighed. “OK. I haven’t chosen Tracy. But she would never be as perverse as Josh.” She told more about her elder sister.
Zoey grinned, thinking silently, “Tracy Baldwin would be a great watchdog for Dustin!”
But this did not remove the bad marks distributed by Josh Nichols.
Zoey was flabbergasted.
At “Pacific Coast Academy”, Josh would not have been allowed to grade kids, let alone his former step sister.
Things stank like a rotting fish, from the head down.
Zoey had to do something about that.
Zoey Brooks had talked the headmaster into cancelling the pop up test.
Honestly said, the principal hasd not been informed beforehand about the competences of the student teachers.
Usually, the latter were not endowed with the license to grade kids without agreement with the responisble elder teachers.
And Josh had not done anything in that direction.
The headmaster ordered a gathering of the members of “Teachers Tomorrow Today” in order to rectify the awry situation.
Upon decision of the teachers’ reunion, the project was thence postponed to the end of the year, after the final tests.
Josh was mighty disappointed by this decision.
Drake and Megan were no no longer feeling comnpelled to break into the school at night and sabotage Josh’s next day’s classes, as planned.
Instead, Katie repeated her birthday party, complete with Megan’s presence, and with a little concert by Drake and Neil.
The kids could afford to stay up late, as next day’s morning classes had been cancelled and postponed due to the rescheduling necessary by the cancellation of “Treachers Tomorrow Today”.
Fortunately, Dustin had come to see pretty fast his lack of compatibility of Trisha alias Sam.
The latter just had got no heart at all.
Dustin deserved a lot better. He would not have come to this conclusion without Zoey’s caring instruction.
But Samantha Puckett was still a living nightmare for life at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
And Megan was still so far away from Dustin.
In any case, Tracy Baldwin had accepted Zoey’s mandate. She would thence serve the blond Mary Sue as a watch dog for her little brother.
[mrs hunter] from Drake & Josh : Megan’s New Teacher
[neil farrell] Neil from Drake & Josh : Megan’s New Teacher
The surname is taken from same actor’s guest rôle in third-party owned Desperate Housewives.
[katie baldwin] This is Katie from Drake & Josh : Megan’s New Teacher.
The surname is from same actress’s rôle in Zoey 101 : Lola Likes Chase.
Do not, under no circumstances whatsoever, dare to confuse her with Katie Packerman or Katie Knight!
[mr gangrel] Cameo in Zoey 101 : Bad Girl
Table of Contents
Drake’s Punishment
Drake Parker had flunked more and more English classes. This time, he had been too late one more time.
His girlfriend of the week, Rebecca Montez[rebecca montez], had tried to lie him out of trouble.
Mrs. Hayfer did not fall for the lies, she asked Josh.
And the elephant-headed boob confirmed Drake’s lateness.
Mrs. Hayfer had chosen a new and particularly mean punishment.
Drake was forced to take care of a problematic elementary school kid for a whole week.
This happened in the frame of a programme started by Gerald Hayer, the husband of the world’s most evil teacher.
Little wonder, Drake was not exactly filled with joy and bliss upon hearing this sentence.
His little buddy of the week was one Samuel Campbell[samuel campbell]. He was even younger and more annoying than Megan or Dustin.
This could impossibly go well.
And in the case of Drake’s failure, he would be stuffed into the the classes for the really bad kids.
Tracy Baldwin worked perfectly as a watch dog for Dustin Brooks. But she also made other reports from the campus of “Pacific Coast Academy”.
For example, Logan Reese and Michael Barret had had some rather unpleasant encounter with a skunk, leaving them covered with a less than pleasant layer of “exclusive fragrance”. The two of them had been too dumb to tell a skunk from a kitten in the first place.
For Zoey Brooks, of course, this message was more than pleasant.
And things had turned out even better.
The worthless boys had of course tried very hard to get rid of the penetrant stink.
But this was not so easy.
They had heard about the deodorifying effect of tomato juice.
But this required the exterior application of that liquid.
Drinking the juice was exactly the wrong way to go.
Quinn Pensky offered finally the solution. She had invented some means against the skunk stench.
But the chemical had got some horrible downside. It dissolved polymeric fibers, contained in most artificial tissues used in clothes.
This had also been the case for Logan’s and Michael’s outfit.
As a result, Logan and Michael were found naked on the campus and got punished with four weeks of janitors’ patrol.
Zoey Brooks had never laughed that much about the bwad luck of others than upon this message.
The obscurity in Zoey’s heart had thus started seizing control over Zoey’s life.
And she wanted to see Michael and Logan suffer even more for their disgusting influence on and demeanour towards Dustin during the last years.
This included also Chase Bartholomew Matthews, their vile comrade.
Just a few days later, Chase and Michael had started their own web show. Well, they had already started a bit earlier.
But hardly anyone had cared inb any way.
And Zoey would hardly ever have heard about it.
But tioday, Sandy and Tracy had got some interesting news for Zoey Brooks.
The Daily Stingray, the official journal of the students of “Pacific Coast Academy”, edited by aforementioned Jeremiah Trottman, had mentioned that show as one of the lamest ever.
Zoey needed to check it out. She clicked on the web site of said show.
Trottman and the Baldwin sisters had been totally right.
Zoey grunted, “this show is so suckish …”
Chase and Michael had not even got an expert for web cams.
Quinn could have helped them.
But either the boys were so incredibly dumb, much too stupid to even ask Quinn for a favour.
Or the geek girl had at least got a last dimming spark for good taste and deemed the show too lame to work for it.
These technical problems, however, were only one fairly minor issue.
The content of the show stank from pole to pole and back again.
It contained the lamest cartoons ever and also some foul and disgusting skits beyond any trace of dignity.
Zoey was glad about the rapidly increasing shame and embarrassment enshrouding Chase Bartholomew Matthews and Michael Barret. She loved mentioning it in the presence of many of her school mates, including Drake, Josh, and Megan.
Most of her mates shared Zoey’s stern judgment.
Megan’s comment was a bit obscure.
She stated, “making a web show would be a cool thing. One can do so many things better than TV does, let alonbe radio or newspapers. Just those boobs mess it up really badly.”
Zoey wondered carefully, “so … you could make a better web show? A really good one even?”
Megan had been running a very funny web sitem usually about pranks pulled on Drake and Josh.
This site was visited very well.
But she had not yet considered basing a web show off it.
Was this really an option for Drake’s little sister?
Drake was stuck deep in the glooming quagmire.
Sammy showed more affinity towards Joshuah Nichols than to Drake.
Mrs. Hayfer was more and more angry. She would stuff him into the class with the most evil horror kids of San Diego.
Megan walked up and down the foyer of Helen’s Première Theater. She muttered about a web show on her own. But she could impossibly do it all alone. She needed a co-moderator and a technical producer at least.
The co-moderator should have been popular enough to attract viewers.
None of her friends qualified.
Helen suggested, “choose Drake as your co-moderator, and Josh as your technical producer!”
Megan looked blatantly consternated. “What? The boobs?”
helen Baxter nodded vigorously.
Drake would warrant for a lot of viewers, especially female ones.
And Josh had got one of the best laptops available in San Diego.
A laptop was absilutely necessary for a web show.
Megan understood that.
But working together with Drake and Josh sounded so awkward.
Zoey promised to help Megan talking Drake and Josh participating in her web show.
But Megan also needed a place for the show. “My room is too small. Drake’s and Josh’s room stinks like boob dirt.”
Zoey chuckled.
Megan glared sternly at the blond Mary Sue.
Helen intervened. “Hey! There is still ‘Première Theater’!”
Megan wondered, “you want us to make the web show right here?”
Helen nodded. “The cabaret room, of course! It is perfectly suited. This may not be a solution every time. But for the first session, you may use it, Saturday night, that is. There no plans yet, and there is only one movie scheduled by now.”
Zoey smiled. “So, how about that?”
Megan sighed. “Thanks for the offer!” She was not exactly looking forward to working together with Drake and Josh.
The sun had set beyond the murky brine of the mighty Pacific.
Night had seized San Diego.
Drake, Josh, and Megan were rigged and ready for their first session.
Josh adjusted the web cam. “It is a fairly new one. I’ve upgraded the laptop to Quinndoze QP[quinndoze qp].”
Megan panted heavily. She had distributed fly papers at their school announcing the pilot session.
Joshuah Nichols counted down the seconds. “Online in fice … four … three … two …”
Drake and Megan waited for the “one”.
But the latter never showed up.
Josh explained, “the ‘one’ is so uncool!” He shrugged.
Megan closed her eyes and pressed her microphone to her lips. “Hello, I’m Megan.” She opened them again.
These head been her first and hardest words in front of a live web cam.
Drake grunted, “hi! I’m Drake!”
Megan concluded, “and this is our stepo boob, I mean, tech producer, Josh!”
The big-headed boy turnede the web cam around and grinned like an idiot. Being aware of the pressure, he started twitching.
Drake and Megan grabbed him and rearranged his limbs in the correct order.
Megan continued, “so, this is my web show, and Drake’s , and also a little bit Josh’s.”
Drake grinned like a champion.
Megan continued, “my friend Wendy Gellar has written a song for our show. It is named Leave it all to me![leave it all to me].”
Drake fetched his guitar. “Yeah, baby!”
Megan shook her head. “Wait, boob! You can;t start yet!”
Impatient Drake wondered, “why not?”
Megan growled, “you have forgotten about someone.”
Drake scratched his head.
Megan panted again. “Today, we have got a special guest: Sammy Campbell!”
Drake’s “little friend” walked up the stage.
Drake coughed. “Hi!”
Megan grinned. “Sammy is new at our school, ‘belleview’, and he is one of Drake’s youngest friends. But today, he is also our special guest.”
Drake moaned silently. “oops! I have almost forgotten about it.”
Megan announced, “Drake and Sammy have prepared the first public performance of this song. The guitar!”
Drake grabbed his instrument.
Sammy opened and closed his mouth.
The music of the guitar filled the air.
Then they all sang the announced song.
megan concluded, “as you all see, Drake and Sammy have got a lot of fun together!”
Sammy grinned, “oh yeah! We do!”
They had also got some other guests, kids from their school.
Finally, they had to call it a Saturday night.
Mrs. Hayfer had not actually seen that session of the web show
But most of her students had done so. And they had been talking about Drake’s and Sammy’s brilliant performance.
The old wench was impressed. “Wow! You’ve really mastered this task!”
Drake nodded solemnly.
Mrs. Hayfer concluded, “so … you will not be sent to the classes for the really bad kids. But you know what?”
Drake scratched his head. “Detention and a bad mark?”
Mrs. hayfer continued, “that too! But I still hate you.”
Drake shrugged.
Mrs, Hayfer would always hate him.
But the evil teacher’s foolish opinion notwithstanding, the Parker Nichols Show had caught a perfect start.
Chase Bartholomew Matthews and Michael Barret would go pale upon seeing the begin of a perfect web show, as completely opposed to their vulgar crap.
The night of the pilot of Parker Nichols Show was the begin of a serious of endless nightmares of those worthless guys.
Zoey’s heart rejoiced in her darkest sadism.
[rebecca montez] Rebecca is a cameo in Drake & Josh : Little Sibling.
The surname was chosen for same actress’s rôle in third-party owned movie High School Musical
[samuel campbell] This is Sammy from Drake & Josh : Little Sibling.
,The surname is from some rôle of the same author isn some third-party owned movie.
[quinndoze qp] cf. Zoey 101 : Favor Chain
[leave it all to me] third-party owned song by Miranda Cosgrove featuring Drake Bell
Table of Contents
At a great boarding school like “Pacific Coast Academy”, the kids were really crowded together.
As a consequence, typical kids’ deseases used to spread across the whole campus like wildfire.
And now Dustin Brooks was hit by one of those germ waves.
More precisely, a flood of chicken pox had seized the campus of “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Dustin Brooks was stuffed into the nurses’ station, like quite a few other kids.
Zoey was receiving a daily phone call from her little brother. She was very anxious.
Dustin grinned. “Hey, it’s all cool here!”
Zoey wondered, “but doesn’t the nurse torture you all the time?”
Dustin chuckled and explained, “no, Shannon is a nice nurse.”
Shannon must have been a fairly new nurse.
The old one, however, was one filthy censored.
OK, Dustin was not all down ispite of being sick.
But Zoey was still not totally at ease.
Another night started at “Première Theater” in San Diego.
helen was worried.
A thug had been robbing and looting various cinemas in San Diego county during the last few weeks.
Helen had already considered participating in a real action crime show.
The police of California was up to making a short movie in order to make the population of California aware of the current peril of theatre robbery.
It would be filmed in one particularly threatened cinema.
And Helen’s “Première theater” was arked as belonging to the red zone.
But Zoey Brooks had got a better idea. “The Parker Nichols Show has already gor more than three hundred thousand viewers last week, and most of them in San Diego county.”
Helen glared quizzically.
Zoey sighed. “The web show is very efficient for catching the thief.”
Helen gasped. “Really?”
Zoey Brooks nodded vigorously.
Crazy Steve cheered. “The show rocks! Maybe I can present some of my sculptures in it, some day.”
Helen was flabbergasted. “Your sculptures?”
Crazy Steve was a gifted artist. He had already built a few things.
Zoey had accidentally seen one of them. But she had not thought much about it.
Steve boomed, “my battle robot rocks!”
Helen yawned.
Zoey wondered, “a bottle robot?”
Steve had got a small apartment in downtown San Diego.
Zoey really wanted to see some of the sculptures.
Most of them were patched together from random trash found on the nearest junk yards.
One of the was the so-called bottle robot.
Zoey gasped. “Hey! That looks really cool!”
Crazy Steve beemed proudly.
Zoey remarked, “Megan, Drake, and Josh should really show in their web show. Maybe Harry Joiner will even see it.”
Steve stammered. “Jo … jo … jo …”
Zoey completed, “Joiner! That’s one of the greatest pop artists in the world, at least today. Some of my works of fashion are inspired by his unique style.”
Steve squealed for delighed.
Both of them were apparently fans of Harry Joiner.
Another night had started at “Première Theater”.
Katie Baldwin was around. “Hi, Zoey!”
Zoey greeted Megan’s friend back. “Hey! Any news from Malibu?”
Katie moaned, “Sandy has now also contracted the chicken pox. It becomes worse and worse.”
Zoey moaned for disgust. “Poor kids!”
Katie nodded. “By the way, Logan Reese is now an even bigger jerk than ever before. He has instigated all other boys to deny girls any access to their roof.”
Zoey sighed. “Typical Logan! But why would anyone want to go up their roof?”
katie explained, “Tracey told me about it. The girls’ resicence facility, ‘Brenner Hall’, is located in the shadow of a huge oak. It is haunted by wild animals with smelly excrements, and it casts long shadows. The boys’ roof is all nice and sunny.”
Zoey had been in “Butler Hall” during her weeks at “Pacific Coast Academy”. She had hitherto not been of these circumstances. But now she understood them fully.
Katie had got a lot more to tell. “Nicole Bristiw has got a lot of problems folling classes when distracted by ‘cute booys’.”
Zoey grinned. “That serves her so well! Oh, it is not really all that surprising. Or so I think.”
Katie nodded. “Lola and Quinn have already tried to cure her by means of hypnosis.”
Zoey started laughing hysterically.
Megan walked in. “OK, we will help you catch the theatre thug.”
Then Katie talked about the chicken pox at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Megan thought about Dustin. “Aw, my poor swee… oops, all those poor kids. We should make a segment for them.”
Joshuah Nichols was mopping the floor, along with Gavin Mitchell. He sighed. “Good idea! I hate hospitals.”
Zoey knew why.
Josh’s foot was now feeling a lot better, though.
Drake would arrive ten minutes later, but still in time for the show. “Where are the chicken wings?”
Megan banged her head against the wall. “We are atlking about chicken pox, not chicken wings!”
Drake gasped. “So I’ve rushed hereto for naught?” He looked disappointed.
Megan shook her head.
Josh counted down the seconds. “Online in five … four … three … two …”
Megan growled, “I am Megan!”
Drake grunted, “I’m Drake!”
They started talking about the situation concerning the theatre robbery.
Megan grunted, “sometimes I am definitely not surprised by ythe high number of cinema thuggery.”
Drake shrugged. “What do you mean?”
Megan explained, “some theatres havegot a really lousy security system.”
Drake scratched his head. “You are not atlking by chance about ‘Première Theater’?”
Megan coughed. “That lousy shed in uptown San Diego?” She mentioned the real address.
Drake nodded solemnly. “Yeah, where Josh works.”
Megan shrugged. “Why would I? There’s never much money in the cash boxes.”
Drake wondered, “let alone chicken fingers.”
Megan continued, “and Josh is a really reliable employee. He never ggets nervous, whatever the situation.”
Josh kept on twitching like an idiot.
The cam started staggering.
Drake continues, “And the key to the cash safe is safely hidden behind a dusty picture.”
Megan nodded solemnly. “No thug would ever guess it!”
Josh sighed. “Even I wouldn’t guess it. And Helen tells me every day!”
Megan sighed. “Now we’ve talked enough about this lousy theatre, not worthy of any visitors.”
Drake nodded solemnly.
Megan grinned. “Now we come to a more dangerous topic. The chicke pox epidemt strikes. It has already laid waste to ‘Pacific Coast Academy’, a boarding school in Malibu.”
Drake continued, “many sick kids are watching us from their beds. I remember my last time in hospital. And teh time before was worse, after my accident with a beach cart.[accident]”
Megan chuckled. “Yeah, that was one mess. And for that reason, Drake will now sing something for you, viz. Highway To Nowhere[highway to nowhere]”.
Some fake applause filled the air.
Drake grabbed his guitar and started performing.
Megan chuckled.
The session came to an end after three or four songs more.
Drake sighed. “That song was especially from Megan for one Dust…”
Megan blushed and poked her elder brother. “Hey!” She didn’t want it to become known to the public.
Drake sighed. “OK, that’s enough for now. Let’s go elsewhere.”
Megan nodded. “Just not to ‘première Theater’.”
Drake agreed. “It’s really lame there. Only Josh has to go there in order to dust the floor.”
Josh twitched like a fool.
Megan nodded. “Oh yes, he does!”
The show went offline.
The thug had swallowed the bait wiuth hook, line and sinker. He had broken into “Première theater”, beaten up Josh, and grabbed the key in order to empty the treasure chamber. But on his way out, he was caught by officer Vega[oficer vega]
from California state police, assisted by Crazy Steve and Gavin Mitchell.
Just Josh had been a bit nervous. But he was accustomed to getting beaten up.
So it did not matter really much.
Alas, the thug had not been working alone.
His henchmen was still somewhere out there. Would he or she keep on bein a menace for “Première Theater” and other cinemas out there?
But the guardian angel of the cinemas was still oout there, just like during that night.
Dustin got soon enough well again. He must have got a good guardian angel during those days, exactly like his fellow patients.
And this had all be down to Drake’s little web concert for them.
This was even valid for Robbie “Scooter” Carmichael, the most scared of all.
Before the concert night, the boys and girls had not only sufferd from the infection, but from camp stress. They had tirned really grumpy.
The morning after, all of that was forgotten and forgiven.
Tracy Baldwin had given up caring about the boys’ roof.
The girls’ roof top stank for the squirrels.
But the boys’ roof top, however stank for Logan Reese.
And the latter stink was so much worse.
[accident] cf. Drake & Josh : Dune Buggy
[highway to nowhere] some third-party owned song by Drake Bell
[oficer vega] various cameos in Victorious, viz. the father of star Tori Vega
Table of Contents
“California Seven Flags”[california seven flags], California’s greatest and most popular amusement park located at Mystic Mountain in the mountain chains between Los Angeles and San Diego, hosted two of California’s tallest roller coaster, known as the “Demonator” and the “Spine Twister”, respectively.
Why did thewy go through the trouble of most of them?
There was a great competition between the amusement parks.
A big rollercoaster served as an attraction of about each of them.
In order to put up with the competitors, the roller coasters were improved and updated all few years.
But the necessary construction works could not be performed and tested for security over night.
But with two rollercoasters, “California Seven Flags” could afford to run one of them while improving and upgrading the other to the latest record mark.
Needless to say, a ride on either of those roller coaster was a very prestigeous enterprise for many a Californian kid, something to boast in the opresence of their fellow pupils.
Drake, Josh, and Megan were not much different.
These days, news abounded aconcerening the impending reopening of the “Demonator”, improved and updated once more.
It was now supposed to be the most horrible roller coaster ever.
And Josh had got great news.
Coco Wexler, his father’s fiancé, had got a cousin working at “California Seven Flags”.[cocos cousin]
And said cousin had given Josh free access to the “Demonator” for one afternoon, even before the official reopening.
Josh was even allowed to take someone with you. He wanted to choose Drake.
But Megan did not want to accept that. Of course she wanted to be among the first to ride the “Demonator”.
Josh remarked, “the ‘Demonator’ is only for dauntless men, big boys, and not for little fearsome girls.”
Megan chuckled, replying, “aw, I am so fearsome? Really? And who was afraidof talking in public TV?”
Josh twitched. “That were my nerves. But roller coasters are different. They rest completely on geometry and physics. See, on top of the rail, the train has got a lot of potential energy. Later, the cart gets released and converts potential energy into kinetic energy. The potential energy grows in a linear way with the height above ground level. Kinetic energy is directly proportional to the square of the speed.”
Megan shrugged. “That’s why a tall boob liuke you has got so much potential stupidity.”
Zoey Brooks roamed the corridors of “Belleview High”, whistling some merry hip hop tune.
There was a sign in front of one of them, the laboratory usually used by the science club. It read “Danger! Keep Out!”
Zoey shook her head, grunting, “nerds!”
Josh opened the door and stuck out his giant head. “I’ve heard that!”
Zoey grinned. “Cool! It was meant to be heard! Oh, you should wear your protective glasses.”
Josh twitched nervously. “My glasses?” He was looking around.
“On your forehead!” Zoey shook her head, whispering again, “nerds!”
The voices of Drake, Josh, and Eric were heard from beyond the door.
Zoey wondered about their stupid plans.
Finally, Josh appeared again. “Don’t interrupt! We are working on our battle robot!”
Zoey wondered, “you have got a battle robot?”
Josh nodded. “it’s called the ‘Blonowitzer’.” He twitched.
Zoey aked, “why do you build war robots?”
Eric showed up, too. “Aw, we are participating in the robot war league.”
Zoey looked puzzled. “What league?”
Eric cackled. “We build war robots satisfying certain restrictive constraints and make them fight against those by others.”
Josh nodded. “As he says …”
Craig grinned.
Megan was still not content with Josh’s choice. She saw him fumbling on parts of his war robot. “What’s this?”
Joshuah grinned, replying, “it’s the mother board of our war robot, the ‘Blonowitzer’.”
Megan shook her head. “Aw boob! Why are there always mother boards, and no father boards?”
Josh looked dumbfounded.
Megan asked, “so, where do the little boards come from?”
Josh twitched manically.
Drake staumbled in. “Megan is right. Id there are only mother boards …”
Josh sighed. Then he talked about the war robot league.
Megan snickered. “You boob really think you can win anything?”
Josh nodded solemnly. “My war robot is endowed with a hyperbolic photon cannon. It will blow anything in its way into oblivion.”
Drake remarked, “that sounds cool!”
Josh continued, “our next opponent will be the team from ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. I need to improve and update the protective shields for that.”
Megan shrugged. “You can only blow your brain into oblivion.”
Josh gasped. “What?”
Megan growled, “as I said it. You won;t win.”
Josh roared, “hey! I always win!”
Megan remarked, “yea, right! In your boob dreams …”
Josh grunted, “want to bet?”
Megan snickered. “OK. If you lose, I will ride the demonator with you, instead of Drake.”
Josh shrugged. “OK!”
Drake was not quite at ease with that.
But Josh was secure in the knowledge about the impossibilty of winning the match against the team of “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Mr. Roland[mr roland], teacher for science at “Belleview” high school, had gathered his guys in the gym, the arena chosen for the death match of the battle droids against the hostile team from “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Zoey Brooks watched from the elevated lodge. Of course, she expected to see some of her former pals from “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Dustin was unfortunately not making it to the event.
Even Wendy Gellar, Robbie Carmichael, and Ashley Blake had not been given a pass for that avail.
Dustin’s absence made Zoey a bit said, and it disappointed Megan.
A megaphone announced the arrival of the team from “Pacific Coast Academy”, guided by Mr. Beringer[mr beringer], teacher for science at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
The team from the most elitary boarding school of southern California consisted of Quinn Pensky and of two former pals of departed Wayne Gilbert, viz. Andrew and Neil.
Zoey’s heart beat faster.
The blond Mary Sue had kind of sort of seen that coming.
Quinn strutted proudly into the arena.
Megan unzipped her oboe and started playing Philip Souza’s immortal tune Gladiator March.
Zoey Brooks and some other sadistic onlookers stood in extreme awe.
The umpire was one Mr. Sweeny, a teacher for science at “James K. Polk” school in Santa Clarita, Los Angeles County. He called the contestants to their places. Then he grinned demonically, awaiting the big clash with lots of dismay and distruction.
Zoey pitied the poor students at “James K. Polk”.
Sweeny gave the commands. “Ready … steady … go!”
Josh held the remote control tightly. Alas, he was very nervous and started twitching.
Megan remarked from the lodge, “oh year, that’s geometry an physics …”
Quinn held her remote control calmly. “Oh, hi Josh! So we see us again!”
Josh was even more nervous. “Doc Pensky?”
Quinn grinned. “Oh yeah, junior doc only, though. But your war droisd will need quite some medical treatment after this session.”
Eric growled, “It is a ‘Blonowitzer’!”
Quinn shrugged. “Whatever! What do you say about this?” She pulled a trigger.
Some deadly beam shot forth and hit the protective shields of the “Blonowitzer”.
Quinn panted. She had not anticipated protective shields.
Josh fired his board photon canon over and over again, but he could not aim straight.
The onlookers cheered for their respective team.
The fans of Quinn’s team included Chase Matthews, Michael Barret, Lola Martinez, and Nicole Bristow.
The latter was not really understanding anything going on. She had expected to see some cute boys here in San Diego, but she was now bitterly disappointed.
The battle went on.
The droids finally collided.
Bang!
A flame shot aloft.
Some billowing smoke started spreading across the arena.
Smithereens of metal and plastic were raining down.
They had apparently triggered each other’s mechanism for self destrcution.
Both Josh and Quinn were consternated.
Mr. Sweeny counted down. “Five … four … three … two … double knock out!”
The match had ended with a tie.
Quinn and Josh sighed deeply.
Josh shook Quinn’s hand. “OK that’s a draw, isn’t it?”
Quinn panted. “Looks like it. Your robot appearsto be able to take quite some damage.”
Josh sighed. “It had to, as yours was certainly dealing out a bit of that.”
Quinn sobbed. “maybe I really suck in technology.”
Josh could not believe it. He held Quinn close. “Sorry. It had to be, seeing our dreams end up in smoke and dust.”
Quinn blushed deeply.
At the same time, Drake spotted Lola on the other end of the lodge. For several months, he had believde in his former encounter with Lola as a sort of dream. He told Megan to punch him thrice.
Lola was still real.
Drake blushed deeply.
The death match had ended with a draw.
Zoey decided, “Drake and Megan will take turns in the ‘Demonator’.”
The Parker kids looked aghast.
But there was no better solution to be found.
In addition, they had decided to make a session of the Parker Nichols Show.
Josh was wearing a micro cam, allowing the viewers of the web show to see pictures from the perspective of the passengers of the roller coaster.
Megan opened the show. Then she unpacked her oboe. She had left Drake the first ride in the demonator.
The cars of the demonator were pulled upward.
Megan grinned and started playing Funiculì Funiculà, a song by some Denza played at the opening of the funicular railway up the Vesuvio, a vulcano near Naples in southern Italy.
Her friend Katie Baldwin sang along.
Iammo dalla terra alla montagna
Un Pass’ nun c’è
Un Pass’ nun c’è
Si vede Los Angeles e San Diego
E veggo a te
E veggo a te
Tirato co la fune diritto ’nfatto
‘N ciel se va
‘N ciel se va
Se va comm allo viento all’ intrasatto
Guè saglie sa
Guè saglie sa[lyric 1]
Drake had to vomit already at that point.
Megan chuckled. “Oh well, I better go and fetch a mop.” She shrugged.
Later, Drake was totally pale and let the rest of the afternoon to Megan. He took over the microphone and reported about his stomach-emptying experience with the demonator.
Anyways, his head was spinning around, not just due to the ride in the demonator.
His thoughts were turning around Lola and the night in hospital, over and over again.
[california seven flags] a spoof off “America Six Flags”
[cocos cousin] cameo in Zoey 101 : Roller Coaster
[mr roland] from Drake & Josh : Josh Is Done
[mr beringer] from Zoey 101 : Roller Coaster
[lyric 1] Let’s go from the earth to the mountains, just one step away. Los Angeles and San Diego can be seen, and I see you. Drawn by a rope, it goes straight into the sky, like a whirlwind.
Table of Contents
Zoey Brooks was not really content about her little brother’s attitude of hanering after girls just for the sake of being cool. She deemed it necessary to do something about it.
As of lately, Dustin had asked Logan for help.
The latter was the most renowned womaniser at “Pacific Coast Academy” and thus supposed to be a big help of some sort for Dustin.
But Zoey would die on haveing to see her little brother become a little copy of the king of jerks. She had taught Dustin about girls’ feelings. But she did not understand Dustin’s feelings as such.
Her main idea was that of finding a suitable girlfriend fro Dustin totally different from perverse beasts like Samantha Puckett alias Trisha Kirby.
Zoey had already deployed Tracy Baldwin as a sort of watch dog for Dustin.
This move had worked out nicely so far.
Tracy had got that sister in Dustin’s age, viz. Sandy.
The latter was a typical nice girl next door.
According to Zoey Brooks, this was the perfect girl in order to keep Dustin away from excruciatingly bad girls such as Samantha Puckett.
Of course, Zoey knew about the absurdity of any attempt to address Dustin directly and suggest him to date a girl of her choice. She needed to operate in a somewhat smarter manner.
A long phone concersation with Tracy Baldwin lead to some sort of result.
Logan was looking for two girls for a double date in order to demonstrate his principles to his little immitator.
Tracy and Sandy would offer for this lesson.
Unbeknownst to Logan, he would be the one to be taught a lesson, though, and an excessively hard one at that.
A new day was about starting at “Belleview”.
The locker halls filled with pupils.
Drake and Josh were talking some crap about aliens and chuckled mercilessly.
Zoey listened cautiously from across the hall.
The evil boobs were up to scaring Megan to death by making her believe in an alien invasion.
Megan seems to have used Joshs’ and Drake’s belongings against her will.
Now the ruthless perversts were trying to get back at them.
But Zoey would not be up to letting them get away with it.
Josh Nichols was now also stuck with other problems.
Quinn Pensky had started to try to try to try to perform Ludwing van Beethoven’s ninth symphony on her trombone. But she was not getting anywhere. For that avail, she had now been in an obsessively stinnky mood.
Josh had failed to praise her poor excuse of an attempt to play it.
Now Quinn was not going to talk to him anymore. Even more, she had locked herself into her dormitory room, not letting anyone in. She was just blowing her trombone aimlessly. She was also crying all night long,
As a consequence, Nicole Bristow and Lola Martinez were now absolutely unable to sleep at night.
This state of horror even annoyed Tracy Baldwin to no end.
But Lola and Nicole were tortured most.
Nicole needed to learn the presidents of the United States.
Quinn’s cries were impossible to bear.
Lola finally begged Zoey for help.
Zoey Brooks promised to take care of it.
But Lola needed to do something for the blond Mary Sue in turn.
Dustin and Logan were on a double date with the Baldwin sisters.
Logan had tried to talk Dustin into treating girls in an excruciatinly arrogant way, no matter what.
Dustin’s first action had been one of making Quinn feel even worse by not praising her attempt of performing the symphony, either.
But that was not arrogant, that was just plain honest.
Now the four kids were meeting down by the campus fountain. They discussed the option of watching some movie.
The girls wanted to see some fluff comedy.
Logan insisted in an action movie. And he objected to Dustin making Sandy compliments.
Dustin was now disgusted by Logan’s arrogance.
Then Tracy decided, “I want to see Jerk In The Fountain, instead.”
Inspite of being the son of Malcolm Reese, the emperor of Hollywood, Logan did not know the movie.
Of course there was none.
Logan looke dumbfounded.
Tracy used the confusion and pushed Logan straight into the fountain.
Logan was consternated and all over soaked and dripping.
Sandy and Dustin smiled.
Friday nightt was here.
Lola was at “Première” theatre in order to talk about an upcoming movie of hers, produced by Malcolm Reese. But she was also receiving instructions from Zoey.
The latter needed Lola’s acting abilities. “OK, may you play an alien?”
Lola gasped. “I will play alien girl Zorka, if …”
Zorka had been the main rôle in aforementioned play performed the year before at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Lola growled, “the male star has to be a really good kisser, just like Drake Parker, Orlando Blume[orlando bloom]. Otherwise …”
Zoey shook her head. “It’s not a love story. It si a horror show, just like at Halloween.”
Lola grinned. “Oh, I will be the most horrible alien girl ever seen on planet earth! I swear!”
Zoey grinned.
Midnight was seizing San Diego Belleview.
Drake and Josh were secure in the knowledge of getting to shock Megan to death with their old fashioned alien costumes.
Megan screamed and squealed like an idiot.
But suddenly, some even worse “alien” stood behind them.
Megan feigned passing out.
Lola wore some horrible disguise, like a blend of the worst monster from Galaxy Wars, a movie by Malcolm Reese.
Joshuah Nichols twitched like an idiot and dropped unconscious.
Drake Parker trembled over and over.
“The alien” announced to abduct Drake.
But the jerk was not ready to leave all his friends behind.
“The alien” taunted Drake mercilessly. Shen she grabebd and tied him. She was about dragging him into some space ship.
Drake was stiff and unable to struggle or retaliate.
Lola would really not have minded abducting Drake to some dark corner, somewhere nearby. But she could not really kiss him with her mask on.
And Zoey would not have paid her in the case of taking off her mask.
Lola thus kissed Drake with her face all covered.
The kiss felt slimy, furry, and raspy, but still passionate.
Drake sighed deeply. He would not have minded getting abducted by a really hot alien girl.
But in this case, it was not evident.
Lola finally pushed Drake out of her “spaceship”. “I’ll be back!” She regretted this.
But it had to be, at least for the time being.
One day Lola would get Drake for real and disappear with him in some worm hole.
Or so she swore solemnly to herself.
Drake was lucky to get away alive.
Megan recovered from the alien attack. But she was shocked by the message about Dustin and Sandy having started to date.
This was unfair.
Megan had got the earlier rights. She started crying. But she could not let Zoey know.
But Dustin had made his choice, at least for now.
Megan sighed deeply. She had to be glad for Dustin and leave him to Sandy. She liked him too much to wreak havoc, and she just wanted Dustin to be very happy, even with an other girl, if necessary..
Now it was time for another session of the Parker Nichols Show.
Joshuah counted down the seconds. “Five … four … three … two.”
Megan had relearned smiling. “Hi, I am Megan. And these are my boobs!”
Drake coughed.
Then they were up to telling their story about the alien invasion.
Drake concluded, “the aliens may be everywhere you look around. In your bath tub …”
Megan shuddered.
Josh twitched more than usual.
Drake grunted, “but I swear, the alien woman really liked me. I am irresistable. Maybe the space ship was just too small.” He shrugged.
Megan sighed. “In your dreams … not even an alien girl wants to be trashed after two weaks, in no corner of this galaxy or any other. OK, now we come to a more serious topic. One of our viewers is a bit depressive due to having troubles playing Ludwig van Beethoven’s ninth symphony.”
Drake shrugged. “It’s lame. Do you want to hear some real music?” He picked his guitar.
Megan shook her head. “Later! But now we will perform the fabulous hymn of joy.”
Drake grunted, “I will not do anything like that!”
Megan grinned. “Certainly not, boob! Nobody would have expected that.”
Drake wondered, “was that a compliment?”
Megan snickered. “I will play it on my oboe, with vocal backup from two great friends from our show. Welcome Craig Ramirez and Eric Nlonowitz!”
Drake gasped. “Applause?” He clapped his hands hypocritically.
The freaks strutted proudly up and down the stage, and they waved clumsily at the onlookers. They expressed to be glad about being part of this perfect web show.
Megan petted her oboe gently. She panted.“Five … four … three … two …” Her lips touched the mouth piece of her oboe.
Eric and Craig started singing.
Freude, schöner Götterfunken
Tochter aus Elysium
Wir betreten feuertrunken
Himmlishe Dein Heiligtum[freude]
Drake shrugged. “This is music?”
Oboe glared at Drake.
The jerk shrugged.
The voice of the freaks was bad.
But Josh was able to patch the voices with his special software invented by Quinn Pensky.
Megan’s command of the oboe, on the other hand, was as close to perfect as can be.
Craig and Eric kept on singing.
Deine Zauber binden wieder
Was die Mode streng geteilt
Bettler werden Fürstenbrüder
Wo dein safter Flügel weilt[deine zauber]
. Covered with applause, the freaks left the stage again.
The trick worked well.
Quinn Pensky had given up on her stupid attempts, acknowledging Megan Parker’s superiority. She concentrated on her favourite subjects, viz. science, science, and science.
Peace was about going to seize the campus of “Pacific Coast Academy”.
But there were other news.
Lola Martinez was going to audition for a show named I Kiss A Dweeb, produced by Malcolm Reese. Now she was looking for a dweeb to seduce.
Chase had recently started admitting to his feelings for Addie Singer, and there was no way for him to deny this.
Then she tried Mark Del Figgalo, king of dweebs. She had not supposed any girl to have a crush on him. But she was thoroughly wrong.
A certain Courtney[courtney] appeared on the scene and claimed Mark jealously for herself.
Lola was too consternated to explain the scene. Now she was suffering from severel bruises.
Courtney had beaten her up with some heavy books.
But a real Lola Martinez would never give up on her future career, would she?
Her next victim would be one Miles Brody, another dweeb residing somewhere in the belly of the library of “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Good luck, Lola!
[orlando bloom] mentioned in Zoey 101 : Time Capsule
[freude] Joy, beautiful spark of the gods, daughter from elysium. Frunk with fire, we enter your sanctuary.
[deine zauber] Your charmes reconnect things severely divided by the fashion. Beggars become rothers of princes wherever your tender wing stays.
[courtney] cameo from Zoey 101 : A Date For Quinn
Table of Contents
Spring break had started both at “Pacific Coast Academy” and “Belleview High”.
Zoey Brooks had decided to spend a few days with Dustin in some hotel at the beach of Santa Monica and go on a shopping trip.
It was not just some hotel, but “Chambrolay”’s[chambrolays], the inn of choice of many prominents from all over the world coming to Los Angeles.
Mr. Brooks, the father of Zoey and Dustin, knew the manager of the same hotel’s branch in Hawaii very well. He had been able to arrange a job for Zoey for the spring break.
She was going to work as a beach guard.
Alas, Dustin would have preferred to go to Santa Barbara.
This was the location of the summer residence of the Reese bunch.
Malcolm Reese was probably using the kids as background actors for a nre show.
But Zoey had still not got much of a reason for trusting her former friends, especially Nicole Bristow. She had heard from reliable sources, viz. Tracy Baldwin, about some disgusting incidents.
Nicole Bristow had subtly tried to sneak up to Dustin and hit on him.
Zoey could by no means allow Dustin to spend several days with Nicole in the same mansion.
And the other kids invited to the trip were still likely to effect some exorbitantly bad influence on poor little Dustin, especially dandy Logan Reese, naïve Chase Bartholomew Matthews, and plain worthless Michael Barret.
Thus Zoey had talked Dustin into these days at “Chammbrolay”’s.
Zoey Brooks had just arrived in her plain.
A trip from San Diego to Los Angeles only lasted for a quarter of an hour.
The whole preparations at the airport took much longer.
Zoey was happy to have found her seat. She relaxed.
Suddenly, a familiar voice was heard.
Zoey looked around. “Megan?”
Megan Parker grinned.
Zoey smiled.
The plane took off into the the clear blue spring sky above San Diego.
The noise of this event was slowly dissipating.
Now it was possible to talk again and being actually hear.
Megan asked Zoey, “so you are going to Colorado, too, for the spring break?”
Zoey gasped. “Colorado? This is the flight to Los Angeles!”
Megan gasped. “What?”
They asked an air hostess about the issue.
Zoey turned out right.
Megan grunted, “those worthless boobs!” She moaned for despair.
Drake and Josh had been in charge with taking Megan to the airport. And they have confused the flight numbers and stuck Megan into the wrong machine.
Megan was now upset. “I wanted to go to Denver and see my friend Jessica[jessica]. And the boobs have stuffed me into this plane to Los Angeles!”
Zoey wonderd, “do they even know?”
Megan shrugged. “I doubt so.” She picked her cellular phone. Well, she tried to do so. But she could not find it. Then she banged her head against the seat in front of herself. “Drake has got my cellular phone.”
Zoey shook her head. “What a jerk!” She took her own phone in order to contact Drake and Josh.
After four attempts, Drake picked it up.
Zoey complained about the situation.
Megan grunted, “I’m going to take the next flight from Los Angeles to Denver instead.”
Zoey nodded solemnly.
But it was too late for Drake and Josh. They had already bought a last minute ticket to Los Angeles in order to fetch Megan from there.
Zoey shook her head. Then she told them about her plans for the summer break. “Dustin would be a bit lonely in his rom. So he could share it with you and have even some more fun in Santa Monica.”
Drake and Josh agreed. It was not exactly the spring break of their best dreams. But it was a bearable compromise.
At the firstavailable counter in Los Angeles, Megan talked about her bad luck. “So, may I have a ticket for the next flight to Denver?” She exhibited her credit card. She had received it for cases of emergency.
But “emergency” was such a flexible word, especially for Megan Parker.
But the clerk had to disappoint Megan Parker. “Sorry, there some are heavy cyclons over Colorado. All flights to there have been cancelled for the rest of the day.”
There had been no warning about this danger in the last weather forecasr.
Little wonder, the weather forecast had been made by Walter Nichols.
Megan sighed. “Bruce Windchill in taking a spring break, so …”
Zoey nodded. “yeah, even the best weather frog needs a break.”
Megan had not got any remorses using her credit card for booking a six stars hotel.
But Zoey was able to dissuade her from doing so. “I can share my room with you. You really do not have to book an expensive suite.”
Megan moaned, “OK!” But she was not really feeling at ease. She would be in the same hotel as Dusttin Brooks for one whole night.
And Dustin was still officially hooked with Sandy Baldwin.
Megan was hardly going to be able to avoid going insane over this. She was now even more angry at Drake for his mistake. “I would be in Denver by now …” But she was thoroughly mistaken.
The bad weather had already taken its toll.
Megan’s flight to Colorado had been delayed and detoured.
She would have ended up on some third airport somewhere out there, such as Salt Lake City, with no known face in sight and with no real fun to enjoy.
Zoey and Megan had been waiting for Drake and Josh in the foyer of the national airport of Los Angeles.
Zoey had been informed Dustin about that delay.
But the little bugger was not mad about it. This way, he had been able to spend some more minutes with Sandy Baldwin. And he wanted to see Logan Reese’s limousine.
The vehicle of luxury was supposed to be very huge.
Zoey shrugged and shook her head.
Drake and Josh arrived.
Megan’s face darkened severely.
Drake and Josh talked about their flight.
Drake had enjoyed it in the midst of two excessively hot girls.
Josh had been tortured by some chubby old couple.
Megan laughed mercilessly.
But it was no fun flying across some turbulences, sandwiched by two lardloaves.
The four of them had been already tired.
Their cab bus had fetched from the airport, taken a detour across Malibu, picked up Dustin from the entrance of the campus of “Pacific Coast Academy”, and then finally made it to “Hotel Chambrolay”.
But they were now a bit tired. They decided to postpone the shopping tour to the next morning.
Megan could not help blushing when close to Dustin.
The little brother of Zoey Brooks, inspite of being really small compare to Megan, was now even smarter and sweeter than the year before, at least in Megan’s eyes.
Ashley and Wendy had been talking a lot about him to Megan. But they could not really appreciate Dustin’s style.
Now Dustin talked a lot about Sandy Baldwin. He also mentioned Logan Reese’s limousine. “It was really huge. And they have even got a larger one, somewhere out there.”
Megan grinned. “Cool!”
Josh had been at the toilets before getting accustomated. “I have metsome guy from ‘Sunset Studioes’, not very far from here.”
Drake shrugged. “A cool shop! Devin Malone had got his first public performance in TV right there.”
Josh smiled. “Then you will love the following: I have arranged an event for you. Tomorrow evening …”
Drake gasped. “What?”
Josh grinned.
Drake would have loved to make his first TV performance as soon as possible.
There was no doubt about it.
But there was no time left to prepare for it.
Drake was really nervous.
Josh should have understood it. He had always got great problems with his nerves and with twitching. But he had always deeme Drake andlessly cool and immune to it.
Drake decided to go to bed a lot earlier.
It better was a quiet night.
Josh decided to listen a bit to some music. A few days ago, he had bought a new G.O., i.e. some device playing tunes recorded in certain file formats. He turned it on.
But there was no music.
Zoey took a look at the problem. “hells bells! This is no G.O. at all!”
Josh twitched like an idiot. “What is it?”
Zoey panted heavily. “I don’t know, but it looks like bank notes. How did you get at this device?”
Josh swore, “it still worked last night.” Then he took a second look and sighed. “Indeed, it is not my G.O.”. It is used for preparing precise colour copies of encoded materials.
The colour codes of ban notes were strictly cryptic.
Josh just held highly illegal material in his hands. “It must have happemned during the flight, the turbulences …”
Zoey nodded. “OK, we have to call the police.”
Josh gasped. “They will arrest us!”
Zoey shook her head. “They will ask us a lot of questions and stuff, as witnesses.”
Josh started shivering and trembling.
Zoey picked her own cellular phone and called the number of aforementioned officer Vega.
Dustin was too tired.
Zoey sent him to bed. “You have got nothing to do with the whole affair.”
Finally, officer Vega arrived at “Chambrolay’s”. He started interrogating nervously twitching Josh. Then ne hodded. “Your random encounter must belong to the gang of Milo Creery, the most infamous money faker of the United States.”
Josh had not yet heard about him.
But Creery was most likely already looking for this valuable device.
Officer Vega ordered personal protection for Josh Nichols. “My niece Shelby will be your body guard during the next few days.”
Josh sighed deeply. He expected some wardrobe of a woman, six foot four, grumpy and ugly. But he was deluded.
Shelby was looking almost like Lola, thus totally hot. But she was full of steel muscles, and a hell of agile. She was youth champion in her weight class in mixed martial arts.
Her fists could crack concrete walls.
Josh had to leave “Chambrolay”’s in order to keep Megan, Zoey, and Dustin out of danger.
Officer Vega would observe the hotel, anyways.
Shelby was going to accompany Josh to some safer place.
The twitching dweeb left Zoey his sheet with the necessary informations for Drake’s performance at “Sunset”’s.
Megan sighed deeply. Not only was she still a little afraid of the danger imposed by Milo. She was also more and more sure about Dustin never even risking a look at her. She wanted Dustin to be happy, no matter with whom, but she was disappointed, no matter what.
Megan Parker had been calling the airport early in the morning.
The cyclons had disappeared.
The way to Colorado was now free.
Megan booked a seat for the next available flight to Denver.
This would be ere noon.
Drake was nervously anticipating his concert in front of TV cams.
“Sunset Studioes” was owned by Malcolm Reese, but also ysed by his competitors, for some appropriate fees, of course.
Drake called some of the other members of his band for backup. He could not reach everyone.
Especially Neil would be missing badly.
Zoey and Dustin would go shopping all day until the start of the concert.
Drake insisted in getting them backstage passes.
The henchmen of Milo had found Josh. But they had not beencounting with Shelby Marx.
Six henchman and the boss himself paid their lack of prudences with their consciousness, and with most severe cuts and bruises.
Officer Vega could safely arrest them and put them into death row.
Now everyone would envy Josh for his body guard, Shelby.
But Josh had already got Quinn.
And Shelby only wanted to date a guy strong enough to be her sparring target.
The live audience of “Sunset” made the studio burst for applause.
Even with just one third of his regular backup, Drake had been able to get the masses excited, using his new song, Hollywood Girl[hollywood girl]
.
An agent of “Spin City Records” had also been around. He appeared very much interested in evaluating Drake for a record contract.
Drake sighed. He was up to dedicating his song to that one hot girl from “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Was this plan ever going to take off the ground?
[chambrolays] The branch in Santa Monica is featured in Drake & Josh : Drake and Josh go Hollywood.
Other hotels of the same chain are mentioned in Zoey 101 : Chasing Zoey and in iCarly : iRock The Votes.
[jessica] mentioned in Zoey 101 : Drake and Josh Go Hollywood
[hollywood girl] Third-party owned song by Drake Bell
Table of Contents
A few weeks later, Zoey Brooks checked her mailbox.
There was a nmessage from Tracy Baldwin, Zoey’s official watchdog for her little brother.
The blond Mary Sue gasped.
The messgae was titkled as all urgent.
Zoey opened it.
And Tracy had to report sone devastating news. “Dustin is depressive.”
Zoey looked all consternated.
Tracy reported,
A few days ago, Quinn Pennsky was called to an urgent web chat with her parents. She had got a strange pet, a so-called alpaca.
It looks like a llama.
But Quinn does not tolerate calling it like that.
The beast is named Otis[otis]. And it looked very much disturbed.
Its veterinary sergeant. Dr. Lang[dr lang] was present as well. She declared Otis to be depressive due to missing Quinn.
The geek queen was shocked. And now Quinn is equally depressive.
Nicole and Lola are already consternated.
But Dustin noticed this. And now he sufferes from depressivity as well. He feels so soulless without you. Or so he says.
Sandy is desperate. She can’t get him to go out.
Dustin refuses even to eat and sleep and drink.
You have got to do something about it, as soon as only possible!
The message was complete.
Zoey’s heart started missing the beats.
She floundered and slumped mercilessly to the floor, pondering:
How is that possible?
Dustin has never missed me. He has always been glad for getting rid of me.
I have always annoyed him.
He wished me once to disappear from the face of the world. And he has got so many friends.
And Sandy is often with him.
All hope was now probably gone.
Zoey had dragged herself painfully to her job as Helen’s assistant. She moaned silently and could obviously hardly contentrate on her work.
Helen had never seen Zoey in such a sad state. “Ms. Brooks? What is going on here?”
Zoey told Helen about the whole miserable situation.
Helen sighed deeply. “But he hangs out with you during some of the breaks.”
Zoey shrugged. “That doesn’t seem to be enough for Dustin.” She sobbed bitterly. “And this makes me so sad.” She would have visited him.“But I am still banned for good from ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. I would just risk Dustin getting expelled as well.” She almost cried.
Megan Parker stumbled in. “Hi Zoey! Hi Helen!”
Helen greeted Megan and told her about Zoey’s miserable situation.
Megan shrugged. “Sorry!”
Helen asked, “can’t you use your web show in order to let Zoey talk to Dustin?”
Megan sighed excessively deeply. “Hey! I would certainly do that. But with a co moderator and a technical producer killing each other …”
Helen gasped. “What are Drajke and Josh doing?”
Megan moaned,
I can’t describe it.
But it is plain horrible. It just is.
So what can I do?
They just don’t leave each other in peace, rather in pieces.
Helen was little pleased by this development.
Megan continued, “two days ago, I had sent them into the show of Phyllis Tupper[phyllis tupper], the mother of one of Drake’s horribly many ex girlfriends.
.” She moaned desperately, “but nothing decent came out of it.”
According to Tracy Baldwin, recent stupid attempts by Lola Martinez and Nicole Bristow had made things at “Pacific Coast Academy” endlessly worse.
Before going hopelessly depressive, Quinn Pensky had build an automated voice-controlled office machine for Dean Rivers.
The machine had got a lot of useful functions.
For example, a coffee machine was built into it. It reacted to the word “coffee” by cooking some cup of the fresh brown and hot sewage.
It was also possible to use it in order to open and close the door to the headmaster’s office by means of the magic word “door”.
The most interesting was the function triggered by the command “dogs”.
In this case, the erecorded noise of ferociously barking dogs was replayed.
The turmoil should have been enough to scare unpleasant visitors.
Dean Rivers had already used it successfully on his psychopathic wife Tipper[tipper rivers].
Unfortunately, the whole office machine had got one severe drawback. It was really sensitive to humidity.
Dean Rivers had stained it with some splattered coffee.
Now it was working in an all distoted manner.
Only Quinn would have been able to fix it. But she was currently lacking this ability due to her severe depression.
Certainly, an encounter with Otis would have had the potential of releasing Quinn Pensky from her striking misery.
But pets were strictly illegal at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Granted, Quinn was keeping a few smaller pets, such as rats[quinns rat], king snakes[king snake] and bird spiders[quinn spider].
But those animals were very small and easy to hide from the eyes of a dormitory adviser as messy and mindless as Coco Wexler.
Otis, on the other hand, was way too big to disguise or to cover.
Likewise, Quinn could not leave the campus for long enough during the term, not without prior written permission by the headmaster and her parents and so on and stuff.
This was desperate.
In addition, Dustin worked as Quinn’s test rabbit. And he was now ill disposed due to missing Zoey as badly as can be,
20.4. Faye Dunnaway[fayed dunnaway]
Fortunately, Megan Parker had got an idea. As aforementioned, she had once ordered a zebra from the internet.
The boobs had been fooled into guarding it for some time.
Of course, this did not work out for too long.
Sooner or later, the origin on those white stripes marking a pedestrian’s crossing became obvious even to complete jerks like Drake Parker and dorks like Joshuah Nichols.
Thus Megan Parker had been forced to look for a different way. And now she told Helen about the result. “There is a fairly huge horse ranch not far from Los Angeles. It is owned by one Faye Dunnaway.”
Helen shrugged.
Megan continued, “I asked Fay to rent me a stable for my zebra.”
Helen sighed. “So Quinn just needs to do the same?”
Megan nodded solemnly. “There’s room enoughg for her … whatever.”
Helen growled, “alpaca … Otis is an alpaca!”
Megan shrugged. “Whatever!”
Obtaining a permission to visit Otis every other weekend at a ranch not far from the campus of “Pacific Coast Academy” was certainly a much easier task for Quinn than obtaining one to spend several days straight in Seattle during a running term.
Alas, this was not a solution for Dustin and Zoey.
Drake, Josh, Megan, and Zoey had made it once more to Los Angeles. This time, they were not bound for Santa Monica, but for the ranch of aforementioned Faye Dunnaway.
Quinn’s uncle had also arrived, complete with a truck containing Otis.
This would be the new home of the cute alpaca.
In addition, Helen Baxter had talked Dean Rivers into allowing Zoey to stay on the campus for the weekend.
This way, Dustin’s depression would be blown away with the wind. Thus he would be able to assist Quinn in her quest for repairing and restoring the universal office machine.
The latter would soon work again as intended.
Quinn and Lola arrived now at the entrance of the ranch of Faye Dunnaway.
Drake decided to play his new song Makes Me Happy[makes me happy].
Quinn and Otis looked so totally cute together.
Josh and Quinn looked even cuter with Otis in their midst.
Dustin hugged his elder sister at the same time and purred.
Megan sighed deeply. But she had not yet given up all hope. Thus she was still urged to blush upon seeing Dustin.
Lola snuck up to Drake and glared at him with hungry eyes.
Unfortunately, Drake was busy singing his song.
But now it was the perfect occaion for a special episode of increasingly popular Parker and Nichols Show.
Quinn’s machine would not only be used by Dean Rivers at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Helen had ordered the very same thing for “Première Theater”.
And this was only the start.
The reason was a promotional video broadcast in the web show, including pictures of Otis and a music video with Drake and Lola.
Dean Rivers had so far not come to regret having allowed Zoey to enterthe campus for one weekend.
But so far, Mr. Bradford had not come to know about this violation of his stern rule.
Would there ever be any consequences?
Time would tell.
[otis] cf. Zoey 101 : Quinn’s Alpaca
[dr lang] from Zoey 101 : Quinn’s Alpaca
[phyllis tupper] from Drake & Josh : The Dr. Phyllis Show
[tipper rivers] cameos in Zoey 101 : Quinn’s Alpaca and Coffee Cart Ban
[quinns rat] cf. Zoey 101 : Zoey’s Tutor
[king snake] cf. Zoey 101 : Girls will be boys
[quinn spider] cf. Zoey 101 : Quarantine
[fayed dunnaway] from Zoey 101 : Quinn misses the Mark
[makes me happy] third-party owned song by Drake Bell
Table of Contents
The red hot southern Californian sun was burning mercilessly up the coastal hill braes.
Even the nights were often unbearably hot.
The kids were off to their respective summer breaks.
Zoey Brooks, for example, was working as a beach guard. Once she was saving a drowning woman by means of a kiss of life. But she got her tong but by the old wench.
Dustin spent a lot of time with Robbie in the tree house.
Megan tried to watch them on and off through theuir window, especially during those warm nights making it impossible to sleep.
And Megan’s bad excruciatingly excited made it even worse.
But there were more things going on.
21.1. Diana Wash[diana wash]
Megan Parker had not only got large pets like sheep and zebras. Since spring, she had also been owner of a rare Cuban hamster.
Like most little rodents, they don’t become very old, really not older than a year in average.
And Harvey, Megan’s example of that species, was now already that old and ready to keel over from heart failure.
Today, Drake and Josh were alone at home.
The door bell rang.
The boobs opened.
Their eyes all bugged out.
There was Diana Wash, a supermodel working for Simon Christini[simon christini], New Yprk City’s second greatest fashion label after “Mad Style”. She had got a car break down or something.
Drake and Josh wanted to recoerd this moment on a fotograph.
Being on a picture with a supermodel was deemed exorbitantly cool among most of the high school kids, especially the excessively shallow minded ones such as Drake and Josh themselves.
Unfortunately, the disgusting boobs had not got any digital camera at hand.
The only one known to them was in Megan’s room.
Drake and Josh were a bit afraid of all the possible traps and alerts in their little sister’s residence.
But finally Josh shook his booties and walked the way of doom.
The digital camera was not hard to find.
But neither was Harvey, teh little rodent.
Josh took a picture of Harvey.
In this moment, the hamster died a natural death.
But Josh could not know this. He connected it with his action of taking a picture, especially the flash light. Now Josh assumed, “Megan is going to kill me and Drake”.
Josh admitted on spot to having killed Harvey.
Megan feigned taking it easy. Of course she was aware of Harvey’s old age , likely to pass away every other day.
But the boobs were not aware of this.
And Megan’s attitude, inspite of appearing cool, did not really fill Drake and Josh at ease.
During the following days, the boobs were very much scared and overcautious.
Megan was most likely to glue their butts together, or something similar.
The boobs had to stay awake all night through until dawn.
And during the days, they were really ecxhausted and close to a nervous break down.
Even Helen noticed this strangeness. But she did not think highly of Josh, anyways.
Drake was another story.
But Helen decided to stick out of this fishy business. She was looking for a way to get rid of Josh, anyways, without staining her fingers with filth and blood.
Drake and Josh finally started accusing each other of working together with Megan.
This was of course plain nonsense.
But there was nothing to prevent the boobs from starting to fight and wrestle each other.
Megan noticed this. She needed to cooldown the boobs stuck in a flaming fight. She used a fire extinguisher for that avail. Then she shook her head. She had not done anything since Harvey’s death.
The boobs had just ruined each other ever since.
Thus Megan has pranked them by not pranking them.
Drake and Josh were dumbfounded.
Megan push a button.
The floor beaneath Drake and Josh broke into pieces.
The boobs plummeted mercilessly into the basement.
Megan grinned. “This sort of revenge is fine, too.” Then she showed the boobs another hamster.
This rodent belonged to her friend Janie[janie].
But the boobs were too dgodawfully dumb to tell them apart.
negan made them believe, “you haven’t even killed Harvey. Here it is!” She just wanted to see the exorbitantly dumb faces of the boobs after such a revelation.
This was a moment to record.
Megan was shooting the scebe with a hidden webcam. “This will be a mile stione forever.” She stated. “One day, I might no longer be myself, the good old pranky queen. But then I will be reminded to the good old times by this video clip.[former pranky queen]” She sealed it away and uploaded it to the usual sites.
Unfortunately, the hole in the floor of the residence of Audrey Parker and the kids had to be repaired before the return of the evil woman.
Helen had delegated this job to Gavin Mitchell and Crazy Steve.
Zoey had also hired Custodian Gordy for that purpose.
The latter had hitherto been working at “James K. Polk” in Santa Clarita near Los Angeles. But Gordy had been fired by their vice principal, Mr. Crubs, for being messy.
Gordy was now looking for a new job.
Gavin Mitchell made the job vvoluntarily. He had got a crush on Audrey Parker.
During the summer break, he had got some of his neophies and nieces as visitors.
Shannon Mitchell[shannon]
was a blonde from Seattle. She had got a crush on a boy named Fredward Benson. She could not even stop talking about him.
But Freddie ignored her viciously.
This reminded Megan so much of her crush on Dustin Brooks.
But Megan did not want to talk about it to anyone.
The other nephiew was Logan Mitchell from Minnesota.
He was fairly dark haired, in turn.
His main hobbies were science and hockey.
The latter was just a common hobby of most boys in Minnesota, just south of the Canadian winter wonder land.
Logan was really suckish at those athletic activities and just stuck with them in order to be accepted by his friends and others.
His friends included one James Diamond, a wannabe superstar with less talent than a newt.
But his other friend, Kendall, was almost as gifted as Drake.
But his large talent had just not yet vbeen discovered, not even by Kendall himself.
Naturally, Logan liked talking to Josh Nichols and to Eric Blonowitz. One day, he would be either a student at Caltech or at UCLA med school. And then he would probably see Josh more often, be it as a teacher or as a patient.
The restoration of the floor went on smootly in the heat of the summer, even though restricted to working at night time.
Finally, Audrey would not notice anything, for the first time in her life.
Dustin Brooks and Robert Carmichael hjad just left San Diego countu and were now ready to return to “Pacific Coast Academy” for a new academic year.
Apparently a whole host of things would have changed.
Dustin was now no longer an elementary school boy.
Zoey’s worries about him grew larger and larger.
Fortunately, Tracy would keep on watching him on her behalf.
Nicole Bristow was no longer a student at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Zoey had alerted the parents of the bimbo wench because of her obsession with boys. She had suggested to take the bubbly beast off “Pacific Coast Academy” and sent her to “Eastridge”[eastridge]
And the Bristows had reacted as suggested.
A heated Zoey Brooks would mercilessly get everyone removed from “Pacific Coast Academy” with a bad influence on Dustin.
[diana wash] cameo in Drake & Josh : Megan’s Revenge
[simon christini] from True Jackson VP : The Rival
[janie] mentioned sometimes in the fourth season of Drake & Josh
[former pranky queen] alludes to the inclusion of a scene from Drake & Josh : Megan’s Revenge into iCarly : iGet Pranky
[shannon] from iCarly : iWin A Date
[eastridge] cameo in Big Time Rush : Big Time Break.
Table of Contents
Another morning started at “Belleview High”.
Kids were flocking across the locker halls.
The new academic year was still very young.
As a consequence, kids were still confused as of their time tables , class rooms, and teachers.
Zoey had to help her class made Thornton Wheeler[thornton wheeler] with his schedule. She shook her head. “Mrs. Heyfer … she is such a pain in the guts.”
Thornton sighed deeply.
Joshuah Nichols slouched across the corridor.
Zoey walked up to him and shook his hand. “Happy birthday!”
Josh twitched and trembled.
Zoey looked puzzled. She took her palmtop with her birthday book. “Yeah, it is today, anything wrong?”
Josh sighed deeply. “Almost everyone forgot about it.”
Zoey moaned, “sorry!”
Josh continued, “only Megan has made me a birthday cake.”
Zoey smiled. “Good for you!”
Josh continued, “but then it blew up.”
Zoey shrugged. “That’s not so good.”
Josh also reported, “Megan has got one of those gamegirl games with a virtual pet. She doesn’t let me near it.”
Zoey grinned. “Oh, yeah, I got that game last year from Dustin for Christmas.”
Josh sighed. “It is really Janie’s game. But it hates boys.”
Zoey giggled. “The pet is by no means able to tell your gender, really.”
Josh sighed. He was most disappointed by the fact of having been forgotten by Drake.
It was now lunch time.
The kids flocked into the cafeteria.
That was about the only thing staying constant at “Belleview” during the last years.
Zoey Brooks stumbled into Drake Parker. She grabbed him. “Have you already congratulated Josh for his eighteenth birthday?”
Drake shook his head.
Zoey glared penetrantly at the rock idol.
Drake whispered, “I have got a surprise gift.”
That worked better after having been forgotten.
Zoey wondered about it.
Drake whispered,
Josh is a total fan of Oprah.
She will come to San Diego in a few.
And I have got tickets for us, back stage!
Zoey’s eyes bugged out.
Zoey concluded, “oh, he will sure like it. He is so into Oprah …”
A few hours later, Zoey Brooks was about to return from school.
Her cellular phone started ringing.
Zoey sighed and picked it up. “Zoey Brooks … oh, Tracy!”
Tracy Baldwin was up to delivering her regular reporta about life at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
This year, many things had changed.
For example, there was a new girl in Zoey’s dorm: Stacey Dillsen from Swampscott in Massachusetts. Stacey talked with a slur and she was great at building stuff with cotton swabs and carpenter’s glue. She really wanted to vbecome a carpenter.
Another new girl was Lisa Perkins, a future pop star.
Dustin had been officially separating from Sandy, though.
Zoey sighed deeply. She feared Dustin to stray again and burn his nose every other mile.
Unfortunately, Tracy had to report something even worse.
Dustin had also broken the nose of Dean Rivers. He had been playing with a miniature plane.
This toy had previously been repaired by Quinn Pensky.
But the geek girl had just sacrificed the servo navigation for a boosted propulsion.
The plane had thus become impossible to steer.
Dustin had only noticed this too late.
The plane crashed right into the face of Dean Rivers, making him bleed all over his face.
For Zoey, this was a big shock.
She feared Dustin to get suspended.
The teachers were occasionally very strict.
Too bad there was no possibility for Zoey to make it to the impending honour council session dealing with Dustin’s case.
It was the evening of the great presence of a star of world wide renown in San Diego.
Zoey did not really care. She had been seen Oprah Winfey a few times on TV. But she was not a fan or so.
Suddenly, her cellular phone rang again.
Zoey moaned. She expected more news from Malibu concerning Dustin’s involuntary onslaught on the life of Dean Rivers.
But it was Drake Parker. “Oh, hi, Zoey!”
The blond Mary Sue gasped. “How is it going at the dome?”
Drake grunted, “very bad. Josh has just run his car into Oprah.”
Zoey growled. “What?”
Drake repeated himself.
But this did not make it sound any better.
Now Josh was desperately hell bent on saying sorry to Oprah.
But the star was safely tucked away in the emergency department of “St. Schneider’s Hospital”.
Josh was not allowed to visit her.
Zoey shook her head. She remembered the terrible night after Josh’s crippled foot.
Fortunately Dr. Nussbaum was not working there any longer.
Zoey had got an idea. “Stay where you are!” She panted heavily. “I will call for reinforcement.”
Drake had no clue concerning the kind of mentioned “reinforcement”.
Zoey picked up her cellular phone. She started typing the digits of the number of her uncle, Doc Glazer.
It was already close to midnight.
The emergency department of “St. Schnweider’s” was still chock full after the bad accident.
There were already panels reading “Josh had killed Oprah!”.
Dr. Glazer and Zoey ignored thse fools. But now they were standing in front of the heavily giarded room of Oprah.
Zoey sighed.
Dr. Glazer showed the guards his medic card. “Emergency medic Glazer. I have to check the state of Ms. Oprah.” He also introduced Zoey Brooks as his secretary. “She writes the bills.”
The guards believed the story.
Zoey and her uncled had thus made it beyong all of the security guards.
Dr. Glazer picked his stethoscope.
Oprah was bandaged. She had already informed her lawyers in order to prepare a declaration of distance.
It would force Joshuah Nichols to stay away from her for a certain minimum distance for the rest of his life.
Dr. Glazer examined Oprah all over.
Zoey started talking to the show host. “Mr. Nichols is really sorry.” She talked about Josh’s career as her greatest fan.
But Oprah appeared to remain tough.
This night had been really horrible for Drake, Josh, and Zoey.
Zoey had asked Crazy Steve to help Josh. “You have studied at law school for three solid days.”
Steve sighed deeply. “I know. But I really can’t remember having heard abbout those stupid declarations.”
Zoey sighed deeply. But fortunately she had got another option.
Tracey Baldwin had found a decent advocate for Dustin’s case at “Pacific Coast Academy” honour council.
Claire Sawyer from James K. Polk in San Diego was a self proclaimed future lawyer. At her school’s honour council, she had been the most successful shark ever.
Zoey decided to hire her not only for Dustin, but also for Josh.
Claire must have had negotiated with Oprah’s sharks in a very tough manner.
The poor little fish had been fleeing screaming like little babies..
Oprah was now sorry for having tried to lock her most faithful fan away from her. In order to make up for all the turmoil, Oprah was participating in the Parker Nichols Show.
And this was the night of nights.
Josh counted down the seconds. He was as excited as can be.
Drake and Megan announced the presence of a great show star: “Oprah Winfrey!”
Drake triggered some fake applause.
Oprah came walking in and waving into the cam.
This was her first presence in any web show, ever.
Closing the session, Oprah would sing He’s a jolly good fellow for Josh, backed by Drake’s guitar and Megan’s oboe.
But the bigheaded boob had to survive the following minutes first.
His heart beat like an engine driven by nuclear bombs.
Finally, Josh was all pale when listening to the sound.
Josh is a jolly good fellow
Josh is a jolly good fellow
Josh is a jolly good fellow
Which nobody can deny.
Oprah announced, “next week, I will get my limbs repaired by some Quinn Pensky, in ‘Come On Inn’[come on inn]
in Los Angeles. I hope for many fans to attend in the foyer.”
Drake and Megan grinned.
Claire was also successful defending Dustin Brooks.
Zoey’s little brother got away with undusting the blackboard sponges.
But miniature plans would be banned from the campus forever.
Dean Rivers had been temporarily replaced with some new headmaster, Dean Taylor[dean taylor]. He was now awaiting some face surgery from the hands of Quinn Pensky and Doc Hollywood.
But during the process, Mr. Bradford had been hearing about Dean Riovers’s violation of the rule of not letting Zoey Brooks ever step again onto the campus of “Pacific Coast Academy”.
This was not really tolerable.
Mr. Bradford was now looking forward to getting rid of Dean Rivers for good.
Was this going to be for the better or the worse of “Pacific Coast Academy”?
Time would tell.
Dean Rivers was still all bandaged in his face. But he was happy to go through some surgery in the same room and by the same hands as Oprah Winfrey.
[thornton wheeler] from Drake & Josh : Battle Of Panthatar
[come on inn] cf. iCarly : iTake On Dingo
[dean taylor] from Zoey 101 : Hot Dean
Table of Contents
The football team of “Belleview” had just won the sectionals and was qualified for the Californian state playoffs.
This year, aforementioned Lucy Banks had made it into the football team as the first girl ever at that school.
This way, Drake was feeling even more humiliated.
Zoey now wanted the team of “Belleview” to run all over that of “Pacific Coast Academy”. “Those filthy creeps shall whimper and squeal for mercy!” She clenched her fists.
Unfortunately, Corey was also a member of the football team of “Belleview”.
Coach Rammers[coach rammers]
had got no other choice.
Zoey was awaiting news from Malibu.
maybe there were some hints about the particular weaknesses of the team of “Pacific Coast Academy”.
The match would be very hard.
For instance, their quarterback was aforementioned Vincent Blake, the toughest boy ever.
Ashley Blake derived her elder brother’s first name from “invincible”.
Tracey Baldwin, Zoey’s official spy and watch dog for her little brother, was now informing Zoey about the latest events at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Quinn has got a pet rat.
And the beast broke free from its cage.
Lola is afraid of it and squeals all over the place.
Quinn has not yet been able to catch it again. She has now started to doubt her own intelligence. Quin has already tried a very complicated trap.
The rat was lured out of its hideout by the stench of some stinky cheese.
Some triggered laster beam was supposed to knock it out.
But Lola was hit instead and passed out.
Later, Quinn has tried to use some nervous gas in order to overcome the rat.
But Quinn just knocked herself out.
The fire brigades had to come and evacuate our dormitory hall.
I had to stay in a room with Sandy for the night.
But the rat has nor been found.
Zoey Brooks had to laugh mercilessly.
Zoey and Megan wereready to watch the football match of their school team, the match against the team of “Pacific Coast Academy”.
This was going to be very exciting.
Zoey asked, “are Drake and Josh not coming?”
Megan sighed and shook her head. “Josh has to watch the home of Mrs. Hayer. What a freak!”
Drake had not wanted to see his ex girlfriend play a boys’ sport, anyways.
Zoey shrugged. “Bad boys!”
Megan chuckled.
Quinn and Lola were present, too. They must have been disappointed by not seeing Drake and Josh.
Mandy Franklin, former student at Belleview, was the head of the cheerio troop of “Pacific Coast Academy”.
This caused quite a few current pupils of “Belleview” to whistle in an uttermost derogatory manner.
The umpire was coach Dirga from “James K. Polk” school in Santa Clarita near Los Angeles. She blew the initial whistle at the top of her lungs.
Michael Barret and Logan Reese were among the members of the team of “Pacific Coast Academy”.
After half of a minute, Logan Reese caught a long ball from Vince Blake.
Lucy Banks walked past him and grabbed the ball from his hands. “Hey jerk!” She grinned.
Logan noticed the girly voice. He gasped. “It’s impossible to play qagainst girls.”
Michael looked puzzled. “hey! We’ve worked hard for the play offs. Now I can’t simply give up.”
The dandy explained, “either we lose the match and get deemed weaklings for that, or we defeat them and get called girl beaters.”
Michael caoughed. “That’s right. Dern! We better run and take cover!”
Querterback Vince and coach Keller wondered about the whole thing.
Logan and Michael tried hard to sneak off the campus.
But Vince caughed them. “Hey, guys, this is our first play off.” He panted. “Maybe we will never get another chance.”
Logan explained the situation.
The quarterback moaned, “say what?” He choked. “The team of ‘Belleview’ havegot girls in their team?”
Logan nodded. “Number Secen … L. Banks …”
Vince gasped. Then he yelled across the whole pitch, “Coach Keller, timeout!”
The coach looked desperate.
Dirga looked puzzled.
There were hardly any time outs that early in the game.
But it apparently had to be.
The time out was thusly granted.
The viewers were puzzled.
Jeremiah Trottman, official reporter of the match, was totally consternated. “What is going on? There is a time out of our team after less than like two minutes.”
Vince Blake explained the situation to the whole team.
The disgusting jerks all agreed with Logan.
Playing against girls was absolutely not acceptable for them.
Coach Keller finally forwarded the decision to the officials.
Jeremiah Trottman gasped.
His eyes bugged out.
He growled, “as we have just heard, the team of ‘Pacific Coast Academy’ has withdrawn itself from the contest.”
The audience roared for excruciating disappointment and lack of understanding.
Megan sighed deeply. “I go to our team’s football match once in a blue moon. And what do I get to see?”
Zoey nodded solemnly. “That is so not fair!”
Quinn and Lola were not exactly satisfied by the situation, either.
The football pitch was not far from “Première Theater”.
For that avail, Zoey, Megan, Quinn, and Lola decided to hang out a bit in its cafeteria.
Helen had just heard about that. And she guessed the reason for the abandon of the team of “Pacific Coast Academy” correctly.
Quinn gasped. “Everyone knows that girls are teh better athletes, due to the naturally more stable geometry of the pelvis.”
Lola asked, “what is that supposed to mean?”
Megan answered, “It just means: ‘boobs suck!’”
Lola shrugged. “OK?”
Megan remarked, “I better go to the toilets now. The main movie is just about to finish.”
Zoey nodded.
It was already past sunset.
Lola and Quinn wondered about the absence of Drake and Josh.
Zowey shrugged. “Honestly, they have been guarding the house of one of their teachers, Mrs. Heyfer.”
Lola sighed.
Zoey remarked, “but said teacher should be back by now already.”
Lola looked aghast. “What if they are stuck?”
Zoey shrugged. “That would be strange. But it would not be impossible.”She made funny remarks about the folly of Drake and Josh.
Megan returned from the toilets. She was all pale in her face.
Zoey wondered, “Megan? What is going on?”
Megan stammered, “Mrs. Heyfer … she is making out in the toilets with some man other than her husband.”
Quinn and Lola looked at each other.
That sounded interesting.
Lola and Quinn wanted to watch the details.
Quinn declared to conduct a study about the popular topic “Teachers In Love”.
Lola confirmed that. “Many at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’ are talking about a possible Mistress of Dean Rivers.”
Nobody knew any details, though.
Quinn unpacked a set of five telescopes bundled together, known as a Quinnocular[quinnocular]. She explained, “this construction allows me to see through things.”
Zoey was disgusted by the thought of watching teachers making out in secret places.
But Megan incited Quinn and Lola to keep up on researching. She guided them to the toilet rooms.
Zoey could not stop them. She panted and sighed deeply.
At the same time, Helen was desperate. She had tried several times to reach Josh’s phone, but for no avail.
The other girls returned from the toilets.
Zoey did not want them to hear. She talked about Helen’s worries. “We better go to Mrs. Heyfer’s house and look after Drake and Josh.”
The word “Mrs. Hetyfer” was a trigger though.
Lola started talking, “Zoey, you won’t believe the identity of Mrs. Hetfer’s lover.”
Zoey shrugged. “And so? I don’t care any less. I have to try to find Drake and Josh before Helen’s total breakdown.”
But Lola was unstoppable. “Mrs. Hayefer is the mistress of Dean Rivers.”
Zoey choked. She staggered, floundered, and started vomiting all over the floor.
Helen called Gavin with a broom and a bucket in order to make him clean up the mess.
The girls were now standing in front of the mansion of Mrs. Hayfer.
Were there any signs of Drake and Josh?
Megan took an electric torch and walked around the house.
There were liufe signs from the toilet.
Zoey walked over to her. She climbed some tree trunk. “Drake! Josh!”
Josh stammered a few words about some blood thirsty Tiberius.
Quinn started talking about some ancient Roman empero of that name.
But that particular Tiberius was Mrs. Heyfer’s ferocious watch dog. The bloodthirsty pervert was keeping them caught in the toilet.
Quinn remarked, “OK, I am now going to catch the dog.”
Lola grunted, “Quinn? Hello! You can’t even catch a rat!”
Zoey chuckled mercilessly.
Fortunately, Quinn Pensky had still got an old invention of hers, some coconut flavoured pink essential oil. “It makes dogs fall asleep very fast.”[pink coconut oil]
Lola gasped. “Quinn? You tell me what? …”
Quinn repeated the real significance of the essential oil.
Lola sighed. “I have overslept several auditionings. Now I know why.” With her eyes chock full of uttermost bitter venom, she glared at Quinn.
The nerd Quinn snuck into the house.
Tiberius noticed her and started attacking.But Quinn squirted abounce of oile right into the face of the evil beast.
Tiberius keeled over.
Quinn concluded, “he will be asleep for a quarter of an hour, or so.”
Drake and Josh could finally leave their hideout and hugged the girls.
Megan told Drake and Josh about her discovery concerning Mrs. Hayfer.
Drake was now very much interested in using this in order to get back at the most perverse of all Californian teachers.
[coach rammers] from Drake & Josh : Dance Contest
[quinnocular] cf. Zoey 101 : The Curse Of PCA
[pink coconut oil] cf. Zoey 101 : Little Beach Party
Table of Contents
Zoey was counting the cash at “Première Theater”.
It was a really busy evening.
Drake and Josh were present, too.
Drake was busy with his date of the night.
Josh was selling tickets and pop corn. Suddenly he gasped. “Isn’t that … Do … do … do …”
A senile man approached Josh. “Doheny! But you may call me Henry.”
Josh confessed being a great worshipper of Henry Doheny, the greatest illusionist of all times. He was a little wannabe illusionist at well. He dared to demonstrate his prowess with a little performance.
But Doheny was of course a professional. He countered the foolish and feeble attempt of Josh Nichols with an unanticipated counter trick.
Josh fell for it like an idiot.
Zoey Brooks shook her head. “Nerds …” Alas, she had to think about Dustin.
The little bugger had been practissing a few illusionist tricks during the last years. He wanted to participate in the “Pacific Coast Academy” talent shows with a trick of sawing a virgin into half.
Zoey wanted to hear the great master’s opinion about Dustin’s abilities. Thus she intervened and shook hands with Doheny. “Our cabaret stage is always open for you.”
Doheny sighed. “My popularity has gone down quite a bit.” he thus feared to be a disgrace for Helen.
Josh sighed deeply.
Zoey remarked, “come on! You are still popular enough.”
“And may your career may get a boost on here.”
Henry Doheny was not exactly convinced of that possibility.
The “Silver Hammers” were an “elitary” society, alias a “Brotherhood” exclusively active at most of the well known colleges and many of the high schools along the urbanised southern California coastal areas, from Santa Barbara to San Diego.
This included in particular the metropolitan complex of larger Los Angeles and Hollywood.
Members recruited as high school kids woul usually a baarely endangered continuity through college, university, and the corporal world of that region, and that could as well mean: around the whole world, given the global significance of Hollywood and other economic heavy weights based in Los Angeles.
Many politicians, scientists, artists, financial giants of all kinds, and on and on and on it goes, got their career boosted to a significant degree by their former membership in the “Silver Hammer Society”.
The most club of the “Silver Hammers” was of course also heavily represented at California’s most exclusive boarding school, viz. “Pacific Coast Academy”.
After all, membership in the society was a goal of highest priority for the majority of the high school kids at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
There was also a branch at San Diego’s district schools.
As opposed to their branch at “Pacific Coast Academy”, “Belleview” High had to share its lodge of the hammers with the other schools run by the same county board.
As a consequence, the “Hammers” here appeared even a trifle more arrogant than at private prep schools.
These days, the elders roamed the campus of “Pacific Coast Academy”, armed with a famous silver hammer. They knocked lightly any potential new member, such as Lola Martinez, Michael Barret, Chase Matthews, and many other sophomores.
Chase had refrained from joining though. He hated those elitary-sou nding clubs.
Tracy Baldwin had reported these things to Zoey Brooks. She did not trust the “Hammers”.
But Zoey deemed a membership in their ranks a big boon. Alas, she did not know how to get their attention.
Their elders were not students of “Belleview”, but of some other high school school in the same district. They were thus not omnipresent at “Belleview”.
As a consequence, there would be very few chances for Zoey to make it shine.
And she was probably expected to recognise and grab her one and only chance.
Other students appeared interested as well.
Eric Blonowitz sighed. “They have overlooked me twice already.” He sobbed bitterly.
“ I do not understand that. I have got an IQ of 200.”
Craig Ramirez shrugged.
Drake replied, “I’m not interested in a carpenters’ club.”
Zoey chuckled. Then she told him about the real nature of the “Silver Hammers”.
Josh twitched. “Really?” But he was not impressive and popular enough.
Drake gasped. “Such as?”
Zoey Brooks named some of them. “Oprah Winfrey, Devin Malone, …”
Drake and Josh glared at each other.
There was now nothing to stop them from trying to become “Silver Hammers”.
Two days later, the locker hall of “belleview High” started filling drastically.
Zoey stood at her locker, talking to Thornton Wheeler about their homework.
Suddenly, a veiled guy with a silver hammer appeared next to her. “Zoey Brooks?”
Zoey’s heart stood still.
The mystery man took the hammer and knocked Zoey lightly with it. He gave Zoey a little box.
Zoey opened it. “An official sticker of the silver hammers!”
The box also contained instructions about the way to join them.
There was a meeting for the new members, taking place at some secret place.
The new members would be guided there after getting blindfolded.
A few minutes later, Drake Parker obtained his silver sticker. He boasted mercilessly.
Would that be his career’s biggest boost so far?
Poor Doheny had not been able to afford his hotel bill. He had to sleep in Drake’s and Josh’s room for several days.
Megan Parker had heard about the downfall of Doheny. She was thinking about a boost for the great illusionist’s career.
Zoey met her in the foyer of “Première Theater”.
Megab sighed deeply. “Is it true … your Dustin tries to become a variety artist?”
Zoey shrugged. “Maybe? Art least he practises a few tricks.”
Megan nodded solemnly. “I have made a plan for reviving Doheny’s career. But I need Dustin for it.”
Zoey gasped. “Why?”
Megan whistled innocently. “Just a little variety trick with Dustin and Doheny’s assistant, or vice versa, whatever.” She shrugged.
Zoey could not understand the details. “You need to wait until Dustin’s next time in San Diego. maybe Halloween weekend.”
Megan’s eyes bugged out.
She claimed, “that’s the perfect night for such a trick!”
The elders of the branch of the “Silver Hammers” of SanDiego county’s district schools had gathered the new members in a secret place in the outskirts of San Diego.
Zoey and Drake were still blindfolded.
But now it was time to take them off.
Their membership was still far from final.
Before getting really accepted, they had to perform some slave tasks to the elders, such as shaving and tooth care.
Zoey had to wash the elders. She was not looking forward to that. But she was looking forward to a great career. Thus she deemed going through it worth the trouble.
Drake was not really aware of all of that.
Zoey, Drake, and many other kids had been uttermost humiliated.
The same was valid for Lola Martinez and Michael Barret at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
But now it was the night of their member’ships ultimate approval by the elders.
The latter praised the great efforts of the postulants. “Thus all of you will be accepted, except one.”
The postulants were consternated, wondering “who is that unlucky one?”
The leaders explained, “that is not up to us. You will have to vote one from your midst.”
Zoey protested. “No way will I vote against any of my comrades.” She placed her sticker onto the table in front of one of the elders. “I do not need a canibalic club. Bye Bye!”
Other pupils protested as well.
Finally, even Drake Parker followed Zoey’s example. He did not understand the things going on, though.
Alas, this opened the way for one formerly rejected member: Katie Packerman, the most hated rival of Zoey Brooks.
Katie had tried to seduce her way into the secret club. But she had been rejected. Now she had even doubled her makeup and lipstick. She started making out with one of the elders, right in front of Zoey’s eyes.
It was the weekend of Halloween.
Helen’s cabaret was chock full. She had promised a very grisly show.
Joshuah Nichols counted down the seconds. “online in five … four … three … two”
Doheny was waiting for the “one”.
Helen explained, “There won’t be any. It is deemed unclool by the kids.” She shrugged.
Megan started talking. “Hey kids and responsible adults! Welcome to our Halloween special of the Parker Nichols Show.”
Drake triggered some scary sound effects.
Megan announced, “many of you have already seen thwe great Doheny sawing a virgin into half. But tonight, he will be the virgin.”
Drake snickered. “A virgin? Heh!”
Megan continued, “an applause for Henry Doheny!”
Helen and Zoey cheered.
Doheny entered the stage.
Megan continued. “But this requires a true master with keen eyes and perfect concentration.” She panted.
Here he is.
You may not know him yet, But you will never forget him.
Applaud for the great little Dustin Brooks!
Dustin entered the stage.
Some dim applause filled the air.
Dustin held two saws aloft.
Megan and Drake prepared a black box for Doheny.
Dustin announced, “one of those saws will be used for dividing Doheny correctly, the better of these two.” He grunted, “any mistake and …” He shuddered.
Helen gasped.
Dustin gave Josh a cardboard shield. Then he started sawingit with one of the saws, and then the other. “That’s the better of the saws.” He panted. “I will lock Doheny into the chest.”
Josh nodded.
Dustin continued. “You will give me the chosen saw upon my command. Remember: the chosen saw!”
Drake and Josh looked at the tools and nodded.
Megan made a few comments. She blushed deeply in Dustin’s vicinity.
Likewise, Dustin blushed a bit back. But he needed to concentrate on his trick.
The suspense increased.
Doheny was now locked away.
Dustin requested the saw. Then he started sawing away.
Doheny remarked, “it tickles!”
A ray of some warm and red liquid shot forth from the middle of the box, hitting Drake and Josh in their face.
Helen gasped.
Dustin separated the halves of the box and presented them to the viewers.
Drake’s breath stood still.
Josh had lost his voice.
Dustin reunited the halves. “OK, how could anyone survive this? Don’t ask me, ask Henry Doheny!” He opened the box.
Nothing moved.
Dr. Glazer stormed the stage and checked the stiff body of Doheny. “He’s dead!”
Dustin was consternated. “Drake! Josh! You gave me the wrong saw!”
The boobs glared at each other and started fighting.
Megan needed to use a fire extinguisher … again. Fortunatelym she had seen that coming and bought a brand new one right before the show. “You worthless boobs! It is all your fault!”
The church of San Diego was chock full.
Visitors had come from all around the world.
Father MacCurdy[father maccurdy], the world’s fattest priest, had arrived just in time for the funeral of Henry Doheny. He gave a long sermon.
Drake and Josh were feeling totally miserable.
Dustin was still totally consternated.
Everyone started calling Drake and Josh bad names.
Suddenly, a puff of smoke billowed on top of the tomb.
The cloud condensed to no other than Henry Doheny!
The visitors were shocked.
Doheny grinned cheerfully. “Thanks for attending my performance.” He bowed low.
Dustin chuckled. He had known about this in advance. He would never have performed any harmful tricks on Doheny.
Doheny waved and disappeared.
Henry Doheny would soon get his new show in Las Vegas.
Dustin had to return to “Pacific Coast Academy”. He noticed Megan blush, And, after all, he was unable to avoid blushing as well. But he did not dare to say anything, especially not in the presence of Zoey and of his parents.
Doheny awarded Megan and Dustin with a bank assignement over ten thousands of bucks.
But the money was not to be touched before their eighteenth birthday.
Drake and Josh were awarded with a skittle each.
Zoey was still totally confused. She wondered, “has Megan raised Doheny literally from the dead?”
The question could not be answered. But it would haunt Zoey for a long time.
Table of Contents
Another morning had arrived at “Belleview” High School.
The locker halls were filling.
Zoey was one of the first kid at her lockers.
Drake slouched along.
Zoey wondered, “where have you and Josh been last night?” She sighed. “The movie was really funny.”
Drake sighed deeply. “Josh, Megan, and I, we have accidentally destroyed the tree house of Robbie Carmichael with a record. And now we are grounded until having rebuilt the whole crap.” He was neither a skilled carpenter nor suffering from a lack of laziness, though.
Megan was still deeming the boobs alone respponsible for the whole mess.
Josh had messed up everything in the sequel.
The tree house was now looking even worse.
That random arrangement, or better chaos, of logs and nails was hardly going tp please Robert Carmichael in any imaginable manner.
Fortunately the little bugger would not be back before Thanksgiving break.
And there was still a week to go.
Zoey had received a fresh message from Tracy Baldwin. She was about reading it.
Tracy knew a potential repairsman for the tree house.
And this wannabe carpenter was no other than aforementioned Stacey Dillsen.
Zoey choked. She had heard about Stacey’s annoying lisp.
But the tide was now already high.
Stacey wanted to become a carpenter.
Unfortunately, her evil dad, owner of a professioinal woodshop, had not yet deemed it a good idea.
For that avail, Stacey had started sculpting with cotton swabs. But she was really able to work with wood as much as with cotton swabs.
Zoey picked her own cellular phone and started typing long number. She was bracing herself for some massive torrent of poorly comprehensible lisp and slur.
The suspense increased.
There was a reply.
Stacey slurred, “Stacey Dillsen, hello?”
Zoey panted heavily. At least she had understood that much that far. Then she explained the situation.
Stacey replied, “I am supposed to build a tree house for Drake?”
Her voice sounded all excited.
Zioey confirmed this in part. “The house is for Robert Carmichael, but it would be Drake’s work.”
Stacey did not mind. “Oh, sure! I will do it for a date with Drake Parker!” She growled, “have you seen his fingers? Aw … his fingers …” She swooned like pitch and brimstone in hell.
Zoey gasped, knowing
Drake is not exactly a boy anywhere near for wallflowees like Stacey Dillsen. He switches girls more often then his underwear.
Maybe some girl out there would be able to stay with him, some day. But it would have to be a popular shallow minded wench, such a Lola Martinez.
Drake would only laugh about Stacey.
But it could be a whole lot of fun seeing the two of them date.
And Drake deserved some sort of a punishment for ruining the tree house.
She growled, “deal! You will repair the tree house of Robert Carmichael in turn for a date with Drake Parker, right?”
Stacey squealed for joy.
Have you heard this, my cotton swabs?
I have got a date with a really hot boy!
Drake Parker is the hottest guy ever.
One day, oh my swabs, I will be Mrs. Stacey Parker.
You will see.
Zoey shrugged when terminating the call. She still needed a good occasion for telling Drake about the deal. “Wait, do I really have to tell him about Stacey’s character?” She decided to remain silent about it and just making Drake think of a really hot girl.
Drake was already looking forward to the arrival of Stacey Dillsen.
Josh sighed deeply. “The girls always want a date with Drake. They always ignore me.” He grunted. “Hello? I am not invisible!”
The squeaking wheels of a cab were heard from the street outside the residence of the Parker clan.
The door bell rang.
Drake was excited. He walked to the door and opened it gracefully for Stacey Dillsen. But he was a bit puzzled. “Whi are you?”
Stacey explained,
Hello!
I am Stacey Dillsen. I come from Swampscott in Massachusetts.
My sister Suzanne works as a nurse at the infirmary station of St. Steve Hospital in Mississippi.
My hobbies are acrobatics, astronomy, and sculpting.
I love sipping sassafras tea, at least six calices each day, especially on Saturday and Sunday.
Her powerful lisp went trembling through the ground.
Drake felt his bones vibrate like scy scrapers after an earth quake.
His stomach cramped and nodded.
But it had been his deal.
He did not want to stay grounded any longer. He wanted to release the rotting contents of his tortured stomach on site.
But Audrey had just cleaned the carpet. She would be in a particularly stinky mood.
Drake raced to the toilets.
Stacey was disappointed.
Wait, Drake!
We will have so much fun, we and my cotton swabs.
Don’t listen to the lies of Michael Barret and his friends.
She started weeping. Then she started dragging her large syutcase into the house.
This container was not just holding a complete set of tools for repairing the tree house. It also contained a cotton swab sculpture.
Drake returned from the bath room.
Stacet held some construct of cotton swabs in her hands. “This is a model of your guitar, made from cOtton swabs and carpenter’s glue.”
Drake had to admit, “wow! It really does look like my guitar.”
Stacey offered, “I am also able to rebuild other instruments from your band, such as Neil’s drum.” She explained, “Drumms are the easiest instruments to sculpt with cotyton swabs and glue.” She sighed. “Saxophones, on the other hand, are very hard to sculpt.”
Drake tried hard to strum the cotton swab guitar. But he failed utterly in getting anyt sound from it.
Josh Nichols had to explain why.
Stacey sighed. “So, where do you want the tree house?”
Drake and Josh were guiding Stacey away to the garden across the street, the big tree formerly hosting Robert Carmichael’s pride.
Megan had watched the scene from upstairs. She was chuckling noisily. “Drake and Stacey will go on a date?” She most definitely wanted to see that.
25.4. Uncle Otto[otto]
At the same time, Zoey was controlling the cash at “Première Theater”.
Fortunately, Drake would not be grounded for much longer. But he had already complained about the lack of a car.
As known by Zoey, Drake and Josh will not have got enough money to afford one car for each of them.
Sharing a car would not really be easy for them, though.
Zoey talked to Gavin and Steve about that stupid problem.
Crazy Steve remarked, “have I already told you about my pal Socko?”
Gavin, Helen, and Zoey shook their heads.
Crazy Steve shrugged. “He has got an uncle named Otto.”
Helen groaned, “aw, good for your ‘Socko’.”
Spencer sighed deeply. “Otto sells old automobiles.”
Gavin remarked, “how convenient.”
Zoey gasped. “Do you think …” She panted. “Otto has got a few cheap old cars for Drake and Josh?”
Crazy Steve squealed, “yeah, baby!”
Zoey grinned. “That is really cool!”
The wind eas gently blowing down the streets of uptown San Diego.
A few leaves and twichs were waggling rythmically.
This was particularly valid for an old oak in the garden of the Carmichael family.
Stacey was planning carefully. She was first building a cotton swab model and held it upside down. She explained: “Already great Antoni Gaudí from Barcelona implied this technique in order to determine the most stable way of constructing parabolic archs.”
Said Gaudí had built very important cathedrals.
Dumb Drake did not understand zilch.
Josh tried to explain part of it.
The more Drake had to listen, the more he had to worry about his impending date with the cotton swab queen.
Stacey worked very carefully.
Five hours later, the tree house was standing perfectly up in the tree tops.
Robbie could now come and adore the master piece of modern carpentry art.
Zoey, Gavin, Steve, and Helen had prepared everthing for Drake Parker’s and Stacey Dillsen’s candle light dinner at “remière Theater”.
Steve had even found his favourite movie, Boogie Bear Takes On Manhattan[boogie bear takes on manhattan]
. He would play it exclusively for Drake and Stacey.
Gavin rang the bell. “They are coming!”
Zoey panted heavily.
Drake was already as pale as a snowflake in the dimming moon light.
Stacey did not care. She kept on telling pointless stories.
Zoey arranged the candles and the roses on the table.
Gavin told Stacey and Drake to sit down at their predetermined places.
Drake wondered about the napkins. “They are for wiping my butt after the meals, right?”
Zoey looked totally disturbed.
Helen whispered some words into Drake’s ears.
Drake was a bit disappointed. But he did not really care.
Two hours of nightly torture were still awaiting him.
Drake would not be able to eat anything.
His guts were already revolting.
Stacey appeared even way worse than Wendy back during his good old times.
Drake needed to go to they toilets.
Stacey grunted, “hey, do you already know about my telsescope?”
Zoey sighed, knowing “Drake will not come back.” She smoaned, “OK, Stacey, Drake has got some substitue for his toilet break.” She looked around. “There he is!”
Eric Blonowitz slouched into the foyer.
Zoey started introducing Stacey to the freak. “Stacey just wanted to talk about her telescope.”
Eric listened carefully. “I love astronomy!” He beamed brightly.
They were now talking about star gazing.
Unfortunately, teh sky was too cloudy during that night.
Eric had to tell a few of his dead pan stories.
Stacey liked Eric’s dry humour, as opposed to all other girls in San Diego.
The night went on.
Crazy Steve took his banjo and started playing some folk song.
Beautiful dreamer
Wake unto me!
Starlight and dewdrops
Are waiting for thee.
Sounds of the rude world
Heard in the day
Lulled in the moonlight
have all passed away.
Eric and Stacey started staring dreamily deep into the eyes of each other.
Eric sang along.
Stacey felt melting away.
Steve continued,
Beautiful dreamer
Queen of my song
List while I woo thee
With soft melody
Gone are the cares of
Life’s busy throng
Beautiful dreamer
Awake unto me!
Stacey purred ecstatically.
Drake Parker was long since forgotten and buried in the past forever.
Drake and Josh starteled. They had just heard the sounds of tooting cars in front of their homes.
They could hardly agree on opening the door and looking.
Finally, Drake was determined to go first.
Two cars had just been halted in front of their residence.
Helen and Gavin, respectively, had been riding the cars.
Drake’s and Josh’s eyes bugged out.
Helen explained the origin of those car, involving uncle Otto.
Drake and Josh did not want to believe it.
But the cars looked nice.
And they only costed some thousand bucks.
Megan shook her heads. “The dumbest boobs get the hottest cars.”
Drake and Josh were now allowed to sit in their new old vehicles.
Drake beamed.
Josh wondered, “hey! Does this thing have a butt warmer?”
Helen looked puzzled.
According to Dr. Fischbaum[fischbaum], Josh Nichols suffered from rectal hypothermia and needed a butt warmer.
There was nothing to do about it.
But, hey, why not just ask an acknowledged inventor?
Quinn Pensky had built a butt warmer into Josh’s new car.
This was now very comfortable.
After some long night, Josh was ready for a new school day at “Belleview High”. He was ready to sit down in his car.
His cellular phone rang.
Josh piucked it up. “Joshuah Nichols … oh, hi, Quinn!”
The nerd queen smiled. “Hi, Josh!” She panted. “Have I already told you to turn off teh butt warmer over night?”
Josh shook his head. “I don’t think so.” He wondered,
“does it matter?”
Quinn continued slowly, “well …”
Josh sat down.
Suddenly his hindside was set ablaze.
Josh squealed and twitched like an idiot. He ran around in a hardly controllab
megan heard it and walked out from her house. She yawned. But she held a fire extinguisher in her hands. She pulled the trigger and released the smothering foam.
Otherwise Josh would have set the tree house once more ablaze with his gas cannon.
Megan sighed deeply. “Aw boob! You are so embarrassing.”
Drake just shrugged. “His butt is really hot, isn’t it?”
Megan glared aghast.
[otto] Otto is mentioned in iCarly : iGive Away A Car
[boogie bear takes on manhattan] cf. iCarly : iRock The Votes
[fischbaum] cf. Drake & Josh : Dinner With Bobo
Table of Contents
Zoey Brooks was once more reading news from the lifr over at “Pacific Coast Academy”, as filtered and commented by her trustworthy watch dog viz. Tracy Baldwin.
The recent news were very much annoying.
Michael Barret had got an insanely obnoxious crush on Lisa Perlkins.
Said mulata had recently been seen in a casting show named America Sings[america sings]. She was probably looking forward to some great career as a pop star.
The abominable character of Michael’s crush was totally easy to compare to that of Wendy Gellar on Drake Parker, just a few years ago.
Thus the age gap was missing.
Usually, Zoey would have thought of such a crush as sweet.
But her life at a school with Drake, Josh, and Megan had taught her the hard truth.
And Michael’s evilness had not yet decreased.
Thus Zoey decided to work on one or the other plan to make Michael stop his obnoxious stalking streak.
Another night had fallen in San Diego.
Zoey was doing her job at Première Theater. She noticed Drake and Josh talking to some suspicious people. “When will the boobs ever learn to stay away from horribly suspicious subjects like those?” She shook her head.
Few minutes later, Drake and Josh walked over to Zoey’s desk. They cheered brightly. “We have won!”
Zoey choked. “You have won? Whhat have you won?” She looked puzzled.
Josh announced, “those giys from Beautiful Home channel have just awarded us with a complete upgrade of our apartment!”
Drake nodded solemnly. “Gratis!”
Josh twitched and poked his step brother. “Yeah, we have won it.”
Zoey nodded. “Something smells fishy here!”
Josh replied, “oh, that must be my tuna sandwich.”
Zoey sighed deeply.
Josh continued, “guess what? Those guys will do it next Saturday, with Audrey away for shopping.”
Drake continued, “it will be a cool surprise for her.”
Zoey did not doubt that.
But there were good surprises and bad ones …
Zoey tried excruciatingly hard to dissuade Drake and Josh from trusting strangers their house key.
But her words fell like cotton swabs, unheard by the boobs.
A few bad surprises of the harmless sort had been awaiting Drake and Josh recently.
Megan had hired a new pranking assistant, a fourth grader named Tyler Pearson[tyler pearson].
This effected an exorbitantly rapid expansion of her pranking activities, and that meant for twenty four hours a day, and for seven days a week.
There would be no safe moment left for the creepy boobs.
Zoey’s worst fears had come true.
During the weekend, the guys from that stupid channel had abused the oiccasion in order to make it into the residence of Audrey, Drake, Josh, and Megan.
And most of the house ghad been empied, barring the locked rooms.
Megan’s was guarded additionally by laser traps and automatically firing laser cannons borrowed from Quinn Pensky.
Zoey did not want to preach to the choir. But she could not help chuckling about the situation.
Drake and Josh needed a second job each in order to pay back for the damage, somewhen.
They had already been at the job centre.
The only thing working out for them was a sushi factori.
Of course working at the conveyopr belts was not supposed to be a pleasant task even for a total sushi lover like Drake Parker.
The boobs had it coming.
Zoey was still wondering about a way to dissuading Michael Barret from stalking Lisa Perkins.
And there was one.
Kazu was still running his Japanese pub viz. “Sushi Rox” on the campus of “Pacific Coast Academy”. Of course he had hot his own kitchen.
But at certain events on certain days, this was not enough.
It would especially not be suffiecient for events hosting many guests from elsewhere.
In those cases, external catering was necessary.
And the sushi factori employing Drake and Josh was keen on providing sushi bars throughout southern California with all kinds of dead fish and other icky stuff.
This was the perfect occasion for getting Drake and Josh away from their conveyor belt and into a delivery van bound for “Pacific Coast Academy”, ultimately able to intervene with life at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
But what occasions would be suitable?
Now there was one of them just around the corner.
The annual “Open Mic Night” was going to open its gates just the other evening.
Tracy Baldwin had reported some more facts about said event.
Michael had been very successful last year with his performance of a parody of several popular tunes. He was really shy and unable to sing well in front of the greater public. He would easily get nervous.
Sometimes this happened to improve the effect of a parody. But it could also turn Michael into some joke.
Lola and Quinn were trying to get Lisa to sit in the front tow.
Michael would thus be able to get her attention a lot easier.
Or maybe this would not really going to work out well.
Zoey hoped for the second alternative.
Helen overheard Zoey and Drake discuss the event.
Helen thundered angrily, “what? There is an open mic night at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’?”
Zoey nodded solemnly.
Helen growled, “hey! No open mic night without Helen Baxter!”
Zoey shrugged.
Helen told Zoey, “you may do my job for the next days, I am off to Los Angeles!”
Zoey chuckled. “OK!”
The same night, Megan and Zoey would try to use the web show in order to find the stolen furniture again.
And this was the evening of evenings.
Drake, Josh, and Helen had made it to “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Helen complained about the stench of rotting fish. But she had giot some fragrance on herself in order to cover it.
Some fool started moderating the event.
But Helen Baxter pushed the sucker rudely aside. “Hey! Do you want to see what a real moderator is?”
Some of the pupils recognised Helen, the former child star.
But most of them just cheered for Helen’s powerful appearance.
The cinema queen thundered, “get the party started!”
Michael Barret was the first guy on the stage.
Helen read from a list about Michael Barret. She shrugged. “OK, the stage is yours!”
Michael started to sing. No, he just tried to try to try to start singing.
But Lisa Perkins’s presence in the front row made the stalker choke like a fish in the desert.
Michael could not even stammer. He had to throw up on site. He even hit Lisa’s gown, making her upset.
Then Drake started performing. He was not a number in the programme. But he was thought as a sort of backup guitarist for various numbers.
But Drake’s perfect performance made everyone boo at Michael.
Lisa Perkins, on the other hand, wanted to make it into Drake’s band, one day.
Zoey had received some totally alerting news from Tracy Baldwin.
And this time, it was not about Michael’s perverted crush.
But Chase Bartholomew Matthews and Logan Reese were up to making a real race with racing carts on the campus.
Of course this was a hell of dangerous.
Logan had challenged Chase after having lost in a video game cart race.
Zoey was worried about Dustin’s health.
The carts coud have roadkilled little boys like him mercilessly.
Megan heard about the problem. She sighed deeply. Of course she did not want Dustin to get run over.
But was there a way to stop the race?
Why had Dean Rivers even allowed for such a dangerous thing?
Megan sighed deeply. “I will ask Addie to dissuade Chase from his insane trip.”
Chase loved Addie. But he also loved his honour.
And the latter was in danger by withdrawing from the race.
Zoey also suggested Tracy to talk to the board of “Pacific Coast Academy”.
The executive board would be able to dissuade Dean Rivers from his insane permission from a race to hell.
Zoey was counting the money underneath the bar.
At least her action of finding the furniture thieves had been successful.
The couches, tables, and chairs were already on their way back to the residence of Drake and Josh.
In this moment, Helen entered the foyer of “Premièrre Theater”. “Oh hi!”
Zoey greeted the boss.
Helen grinned. “I have got some exciting news from ‘Pacific Coast Academy’.”
Zoey shrugged. “What is it?”
Helen boomed, “I am going to buy the whole shop.”
Zoey gasped. “What?”
Helen grinned. “You know, I always wanted my own school. And now I’ve talked to the teachers and students over there.”
After Open Mic Night, the popularity of Helen Baxter at “Pacific Coast Academy” had obliterated all known barriers.
But would Mr. Bradford sell the whole shop, as expressed by Helen?
Zoey had to think about one possible consequence.
With Helen in command, her expulsion and ban might get canceled.
This way, Zoey Brooks would be able and allowed to return to “Pacific Coast Academy”, even as a student. But she could not really believe in the deal.
[america sings] This show is mentioned in iCarly : iRock The Votes
[tyler pearson] Tyler is from Drake & Josh : I Love Sushi
The surname is taken from another rôle of the same actor in third-hand owned Billy Engvall Show.
Table of Contents
There were basically two sports for idiots: motor sports and martial arts, especially wrestling.
The cart race had been stopped by Garth Burman.
This was due to Helen’s initiative.
But this year’s wrestling championships for southern California were scheduled at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
There was also a team from “Belleview”.
Helen Baxter was still stuck in her negotiations. For that avail, she had decided to accompany the wrestling team of “Belleview” in order to keep on bargaining.
Aforementioned Lucy Banks was one of the members of “Belleview”’s wrestlers’ squad, and the only female one at that.
Of course this was totally embarrassing for Drake.
The rock idol did not want Lucy to talk to other girls and tell them about his bad secrets.
That would have been really bad.
Drake and Lola were still in a strange deal. They kept on refusing to fess up for each other.
But that was probably due to their common inability to stay faithful for a longer period of time.
Little wonder, each of them kept on going through affairs of the month.
For Lola Martinez, this was now Vince Blake. She had to tutor him in Shakespeare’s works.
Drake Parker, on the other hand, had started to hit on a tenth grader named Carly Brimmer.[carly brimmer]. He did not want her to know about his troubles with tomboys like Lucy.
His physical weakness would have inflicted some sudden death to his career as a womaniser.
Zoey was doing Helen’s job w=once again during her absence. She was very excited. On the one hand,m she wanted “belleview”’s wrestlers to nail tose of “Pacific Coast Academy” to the floor, especially Logan Reese. On the other hand, she really wanted to know about the results of Helen’s negotiations.
Josh and Eric had just wired the main cinema room, allowing for the viewers to watch the wrestling event.
Many of the kids from “Belleview” without a chance of going to Malibu just for the event were now awaing the broadcast here in the cinema.
This, of course, was another glowing nail in Drake’s already tortured mind.
The kids were now able to see Lucy beat up boys.
On the other hand, most wrestling oxens were too perverse to fight against girls.
This was of course especially valid for the Logan Reese kind of sort of wrestling jocks, and also for those of the Vince Blake type.
Lucy was in the weight class of Vincent Blake.
Just as during the football match, Vince refused to wrestle with Lucy.
For that avail, the tomboy was directly declared the winner
The kids in the cinema cheered.
Drake was not left at ease.
Lucy was now shown very closely.
Megan liked Carly, well, she really liked that name. She fessed up in Zoey’s vicinity, “in teh case of ever having to change my name, I would switch to calling myself ‘carly’!”
Some of the nearby kids chuckled.
But Megan was serious. She wondered for herself, “how would Dustin like this name?”
Alas, Carly Brimmer had always had severe doubts concerning the jerk’s honesty.
In such a case, Drake was certainly not the right one for Carly.
The school bells were ringing.
Many kids jammed the locker halls of “Belleview”.
Zoey was going through her schedule of the day.
Along came Josh Nichols. “Hi!”
Zoey greeted the bigheaded boob.
Josh started talking about a new concert for Drake.
Zoey nodded. “Nice for him!”
Josh explained, “do you want to come?” he gave the exact dates. “We will gather at our house at noon and then take a hired bus, both the band and the followers..” He smiled. “What do you think?”
According to Josh, many guests were already invited, such as Crazy Steve, Gavin Mitchell, Helen Baxter, Eric Blonowitz, Craig Ramirez, and many more.
Zoey wondered, “but not Mrs. Hayer?”
Josh shook his head. “Drake would kill me in the case of doing so.” He shrugged.
Zoey assured to come to the party, too.
According to Walter Nichols, the weather of the next days would be perfect for an open air concert in a party meadow.
The sun would shine brightly and fillall of southern California with warmth.
Josh would go with his car to the concert before the bus. This way, he could make sure everything before Drake’s arrival, especially the technical aspects of the concert such as accoustics and illumination.
Alas, Walter Nichols’s weather forecast were the ultimate dirt, crap, and junk.
Indeed, it started raining.
And that was not just alittle shower.
Quite the contrary, the rain drops were whipping violently against the windows of the residence of the Parkers and Nichols, well of Josh Nichols, at least for the time being.
Gavin Mitchell started hitting on Audrey.
Megan grabbed Drake and asked him about his opinion.
Drake shrugged. “Why not?”
Megan nodded. “If you say so …”
Alas, there was one gross problem.
Joshuah Nichols had invited both Carly Brimmer and Lucy Banks to the party and the concert.
This was inevitable.
But Megan had made it worse by letting Carly and Lucy sit next to each other.
Drake was really upset.
Zoey calmed Drake down. “Hey! Do you know table eight in the cafeteria?”
Drake shook his head. “I can’;t count that far. Josh has to do the sums for me.”
Megan snickered. “Aw, too true!”
Zoey nodded. “Well, that table is reserved for your ex girlfriends, well, at least some of them.”
Most evidently, not all of Drake’s former girlfriends studying still at “Pacific Coast Academy” fit around one table in the cafeteria.
Drake looked dumbfounded.
Alas, the rain was going to make the bus trip to the concert a bit harder than expected.
Gary[gary]
, a member of the band, offered to relocate the concert to the house boat of his uncle.
But said uncle was about selling his boat.
The demand had been exorebitantly high due to the ongoing rain storm, suggesting a good prize.
Said uncle was unable to resist.
There was now no dry place left for the house boat.
Zoey was also desperate because her cellular phone had broken down.
Dustin had got his arm stuck in a vendor machine the day before the rain storm. He had tried to fetch siome cabdy bar stuck in the ejection slot for Lola.
The drama queen had paid correctly.
But the vendor machine refused to do something in turn.
Tracy Baldwin wanted to tell excruciatingly worriecd Zoey Brooks about the outcome.
But this was now impossible.
Likewise, the television set needed to be powered manually.
This was no fun.
Crazy Steve insisted in watching his favourite toon show, usually thought for elementary school kids.
But Audrey wanted to laugh about Walter.
Her worthless ex husband was now standing half naked in the rain, forced to give a good explanation for his thoroughly failed weather forecast.
Audrey was glad about having been divorced from him.
Otherwise she wouyld havestarted withering slowly for excruciating embarrassment.
Josh’s phomne call arrived in time before the cellular’s breakdown.
The only ppurpose of the call had been that of telling the others about the annullation of the whole concert.
The site of the event was even worse than San Diego Belleview.
Finally, the whole television set broke down for real.
Likewise, the roof was not watertight.
Drake was sending Eric in order to repair the roof. He was busy watching the girls talking about him.
Carly and Lucy snickered all the time.
Then the former asked Drake, “OK, all of us girls agree on you being the best kissing boy.”
Drake beamed proudly.
Carly continued, “But now , pray tell, who is the best kissing girl?”
Drake choked at first glance. But then he answered, “Lola Martinez!”
Carly and Lucy went pale, vomited, and passed out.
Megan sighed deeply. “Aw boob!”
Drake looked aghast.
Megan whispered, “OK, at least you may help me now with dragging the corpses somewhere else.”
Drake gasped. “They are …”
Megan giggled. “Hell no! But they just clutter up the kitchen.”
Drake shrugged. “OK! Gavin will wipe the floor with a mop.”
Megan grinned. “The big wardrobe is a good place for them.”
Drake nodded and sighed. “Carly had never believed in my honesty.” He panted. “Now I was really honest. And what do I get for this?” He shrugged cluelessly.
Megan may have joked. But she would not have done so when knowing about something important going on elsewhere.
During the same rainy night, the grandma of Chase Bartholomew Matthews, living at the east coast, died.
This was a great shock especially for Addie Singer, Megan’s former best friend and now girlfriend of Chase Bartholomew Matthews.
Addie had tried to reach Megan.
Chase was now crying into the rain.
His birthday party had been a total catastrophe.
Logan and Michael had organised a beach party.
But the weather had made this impossible.
And then obituary message …
But the phones lines had broken down.
Chase and Addie were now singing sad songs out in the rain.
Instead, Helen Baxter gathered everyone for a happy group dance. By the way, she had received an answer from Mr. Bradford. But she refused to talk about it before the end of the disastrous rain storm.
[carly brimmer] Carly is from Drake & Josh : Who’s Got Game et alibi.
The surname is taken from another rôle of the same actress in third-party owned Suite Life On Deck.
Do not confuse her, under no circumstances, with Carly Shay, the star of iCarly!
[gary] from Drake & Josh : The Storm
Table of Contents
The rain storm was lasting for three more days.
Was it even lawful to call them “days”?
They rather appeared as one endless night.
But finally, the first beams of sun light stabbed the darkness.
The fire brigades had to fight the consequences of the inundations.
Schools in San Diego county would be closed for a few days more.
Inept weather frog Walter Nichols was fired and would thenceforth work as a toilet guy at some noble restaurant in Los Angeles known as “Vaccaro”’s.
Also, the cellular phones were back to functioning better and better.
Tracey Baldwin was ultimately able to reach Zoey Brooks.
Dustin is now free.
Around midnight, Quinn has been able to release his stuck arm, using heavy tools from the custodian’s closet and a lot of industrial grease produced by “Grizzly Industries”[grizzly industries].
This is the best grease available in southern California.
Fortunately, the weather spoiled the beach party for Chase’s birthday.
Thus Quinn was not wasting her time down by the beach with pointless celebrations.
Zoey finally saw the good side of rain storms. She sighed for relief.
“Première Theater” was opening its gates afain after a break of five days due to the failed weather forecast.
Helen Baxter had gathered the employees at “Première Theater”.
Everyone was present except Josh Nichols.
The latter had to go to a wedding of Drake’s great aunt Kathryn.
It was kind of the last test before the big wedding between Audrey Parker and Gavin Mitchell.
Zoey was excited. She expected a connection with Helen’s recent visits to “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Helen panted heavily. She grabbed some offuicial looking document. “Dear staff of ‘Premiè’ … well … this theatre is no much longer mine. I have sold it in order to buy this!”
And indeed:
The document confirmed Helen Baxter as the new owner of “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Zoey smiled.
Helen continued, “only after the summer break will it be official”.
Many of the present onlookers glared dumbfounded.
Helen had been decided even on more. “Some of you will follow me to Malibu, and precisely …”
The suspense increased.
Helen panted and continued, “Gavin Mitchell will be my secretary.”
Gavin grinned. “Cool!”
Helen grunyed, “and Crazy Steve will bethe vice principal responsible for the fine arts and music. ”
Steve squealed, “yeah baby!”
Zoey would of course also return to “Pacific Coast Academy” as a regular student after the summer break. And she was also allowed to make it there for the visitors’ day, just two weeks away.
But for today, there were other things to worry about.
According to Helen, Josh and Drake were supposed to take the wedding cake from Belleview over to Carlsbad beach resort, the location of the beach mansion of said grand aunt Kathryn.
This was very important.
Drake was a potential heir of the beach estate.
But Josh was nowhere near trustworthy.
It was already getting dark.
And Drake and Josh had not once called them on their phones.
There was something rotten in the state of Denmark.
Helen decided to send Zoey, Steve, and Gavin in order to go and look for the boobs.
Gavin was driving his convertible car.
Zoey and Steve were watching the landscape.
This must have been the road taken by Drake and Josh.
Zoey could somehow smell it.
And then there it was : Drake’s new used car, lying in the trench next to the road!
Zoey, Gavin, and Steve recognised it. They had chosen those cars for Drake and Josh.
The car was there.
But where were the boobs?
Crazy Steve shouted insanely.
Zoey sighed and looked around.
Gavin noticed somethibg strange in one of the trees.
Zoey looked closer.
Josh’s stinky feet were hanging from the tree.
Zoey growled, “Josh? Is it you?”
The twigs moved violently.
Josh Nichols was actually hiding in the tree. He was buck naked.
Drake was trying to find some greasemonkey’s workshop.
Josh had been supposed to take his own car.
But Drake had accidentally lent the car keys to Craig and Eric. Thus he had to use his car. And he had been taking care of his own vehicle in a very messy manner. He had also eaten half of the wedding cake.
The rest blew up along with the motor of Drake’s car and with Josh’s pants.
It was too late for the wedding, anyways.
Now Gavin was picking his cellular phone, calling Helen for help.
The lady had got connections. She would send some experts.
The kids looked aghast.
Half an hour later, a limousine arrived, complete with a new wedding cake and new outfit for Drake and Josh.
They would arrive at the wedding way after sunset.
But Megan, having seen the whole inevitable mess coming, had taken care of the situation and fed the old lady with strong sleeping pills, making her miss out on her own wedding party until the return of Drake and Josh.
The beach house had thus been saved for the kids.
A few days had gone by.
Mr. Roland was distributing new text books for his chemistry classes.
Josh was eager on being the first to have a look at them.
Drake was strolling the locker hall, looking for hot girls. All of a sudden, he lelt his face hit by some fist. He staggered and slumped down to the floor.
It was not even the fist of some martial jock, six foot and chock full of bulging muscles, but that of Eric Blonowitz, the king of freaks.
The onlookers were shocked.
Of course, Eric would never have punched Drake on purpose. He was a pacifist.
The accident was caused by his careless demeanour.
Eric was trying to show Craig some martial moves from the latest kungfu movie, Way Of The Empty hand. He had not been aware of his environment.
And thus the crap happened.
Zoey walked past them, grabbed Drake, and put him back to his feet.
There were no serious injuries.
Zoey remarked. “That was certainly no purpose.”
Drake nodded. “I hope so.”
Never would a freak dare to challenge normal boys in a fist fight.
Ar least Drake hoped it to be an accident.
Otherwise his renown would have sunk to the the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.
Girls would have started circling around Eric like flies around the excrements of cattle.
Fortunately, Eric had already got Stacey Dillsen and was thus by no means inclined to become the target of all the shallowminded girls.
Drake sighed for excessive relief.
His renown was saved for the time being.
Zoey and Megan had made it to the campus of “Pacific Coast Academy” as visitors.
Many things had changed since Zoey’s departure.
Megan was eager on seeing Dustin again. But she could not tell Zoey.
Many kids still recognised Zoey.
Finally, even Dustin found her. He jumped straight into her arms. He did not want Zoey to ever leave again.
Zoewy calmed him down. “Of course I will have to graduate. But I will be there for you during the next two years. Promised! ”
Dustin sighed deeply.
Megan found Dustin and Zoey. She almost blushed to death.
Zoey was most interested in seeing “Brenner Hall”, the dormitory block of the high school girls, and thus soon her own residence.
Unfortunately that was not possible.
Dustin explained,
Lola is preparing for an audition for a new play. She has to scream a lot as an exercise.
Quinn has flunked an experiment with bacteria due to one of Lola’s insane practice screams. Now she has got herself and Lola quarantined.
The other girls of “Brenner Hall”, such as Stacey Dillsen, were thus locked out from their own dormitory halls.
Zoey sighed. “Pretty dumb of them!”
Unfortunately, Zoey had already paid for a visitors’ night in “Brenner Hall”.
Megan sighed. “I have booked a room in ‘Butler Hall’.”
Zoey and Megan had found a place in “101 Butler Hall”, Zoey’s residence until her expulsion from “Pacific Coast Academy”.
This was the block for the middle school girls, and thus soon that of Megan Parker.
Zoey sobbed when seeing her old dormitory room.
The new inhabitants had changed a lot.
Ashley Blake showed up. She was a regular inhabitant of this room.
Megan hugged Ashley.
But Zoey sighed for despair.
This was the spot of her first encounter with Nicole Bristow and with Dana Cruz.
Dana and nicole were no longer students at “Pacific Coast Academy”.
But the memories of those days were still burning in Zoey’s mind, all night long.
Zoey wondered about the character of her restart.
Would the same sort of troubles as those from her first time arise again?
There were certainly even worse ones.
Zoey did not hope so.
But the answer would not be due until the end of the impending summer break.
Table of Contents
Zoey Brooks was counting the cash at “Première Theater” for yet another time.
Many visitors had made it into the cinema.
It was almost time for the final party befor He;len’s move to Malibu.
Gavin, Josh, and Steve were already preparing stuff for this event.
Megan was among a group of kids going to a movie.
Zoey shuddered, thinking, “was that not the filthy creep named Corey?”
There had to be something fishy.
Corey was one disgusting jerk.
Megan would never have been able to get anywhere near along with him.
Indeed, there was more to it.
Corey was a dealer with Japanese candy.
Those were making totally addicted.
This was due to some ingredient similar to ergot.
The latter is a microscopic parasitic fungus growing on cereals. It is a base for psychoactive substances, but also for more serious poisons.
Unfortunately, this had not yet been discovered.
For that avail, that Japanese candy was still in circulation, albeit not easy to get and very expensive.
Zoey Brooks did not exactly know about that Japanese canduy. But she did not approve of subteens eating candy. She had already been awfully suspicious towards Dustin’s excessive consumption of bing bongs, the “perfect combination of sugar and chemistry” according to Chase Matthews, one of the major bad influences on Dustin.[bing bong]
Zoey had tried to talk to Drake about it.
But this did not really work as expected.
The jerk did not care about Megan;’s health. He just wanted top be safe from her pranks, especially those involving explosive poison.
And according to Zoey, Megan would never do this.
But something was wrong with Megan.
And Zoey ad to find out. She had been able to get Crazy Steve to help her.
The latter had once admitted, “being allowed to choose a younger sister for myself, I would select Megan Parker.”
Zoey had also asked some of Megan’s school pals, such as Neil and Katie, about the Corey gang.
None of them trusted Corey. But they knew about Corey’s dubious deals with Japanese candy.
Zoey concluded immediately about the possibility of Corey abusing Megan due to her addiction to the candy.
And there was one more cinema date of Megan and Corey tonight.
Zoey could not watch carelessly. She sent Crazy Steve into the presentation room in order to snoop on them. Then she continued with her tasks.
There was even something worse.
Corey had also been at the cinema with other girls, such as Monica Chance[monica chance]
.
And it always involved the bag with strange ingredients, viz. Japanese candy.
Suddenly, Zoey’s cellular phone rang.
This was the sign from Steve for Zoey to intervene.
Zoey stumnbled intp the presentation hall and ordered the movie to be stopped.
The viewers were upset.
Steve reported, “Corey is mouthfeeding that rare candy to Megan.”
Megan stammered, “it is not stupid!”
Zoey sighed. “elementary school kids are better off without that much candy. You know it.”
But delirious Megan just kept on chewing the dangerous stuff.
Her mind was already partly clouded by the effect of the drug.
Zoey couldn’t help but grabbing the candy and throw it away.
Corey was upset and started attacking Zoey Brooks with his mad karate skills.
Fortunately the blond Mary Sue was swift enough to evade the attacks.
Megan could only watch consternated.
A second later, Helen Baxter marched in, followed by Monica Chance.
Helen could still take a few karate chops without getting hurt.
Monica asked, “so, Corey, is that your grandma?”
Megan gasped. “Grandma?”
According to Corey, he was tonight at his grandmother’s eightieth birthday.
Now it was no problem to prove Corey’s impossible demeanour.
The jerk dated several gorls at the same time and made them addicted using Japanese candy.
Megan was shocked enough to abandon any contact with that filthy creep.
Monica would do the same.
Many kids from “Belleview High” were invited to his upcoming birthday party, more precisely, all of them barring Craig Ramirez and Eric Blonowitz, for the more or less obvious reasons.
Even Josh Nichols was invited. He would not have been even considered.
But his evil mother forced him to invite Josh, too, in the case of inviting superstar Drake.
It was by no means an ordinary party.
A popular show featuring sixteenth birthday had selected Thornton.
Megan Parker was invited as well.
That was due to the efforts of Fredward Benson[fredward benson]
, the younger half brother of Thornton Wheeler.
That little bugger hit perversely on Megan Parker.
Megan saw that. But she did not know what to do. She did not want to be rude. She was still a bit dazed by the effects of the Japanese candy. But she knew whom she really liked unto the very end, viz. Dustin Brooks. Yet she was not able to admit to it.
Another night session started at “Première Theater/quote>.”
This was the last week for Helen left in San Diego before her great move to Malibu.
Zoey was busy controlling the final balance of “Première Theater”,
Of course she was no professional bookkeeper.
Crazy Steve helped her with the legal stuff. He still had got his books. But he would soon sell them to aforementioned Claire Sawyer.
Drake and Josh were also present. They were already looking forward to the impending birthday party.
As usual, Drake was also looking out for girls.
Zoey shook her head.
Drake had already condfessed to be into Lola Martinez.
But this was not really an obstacle.
Lola was not jealous. She enjoyed it even to see Drake hit on other girls.
Zoey did not understand this. But she was no born Hollywood diva.
Drake’s current victiim was a certain Maria Cruz[maria cruz]. Maria was a cousin of Dana Cruz.
Zoey knew that. And she did not want to cause any trouble here.
According to rumours, Dana had been expelled from Eudonia and would soon return to California in order, possibly in order to get back at Zoey Brooks.
Alas, Maria Cruz was also the girlfriend of Thornton Wheeler.
This cried for trouble.
Thornton was not unlikely to expell Drake and also Josh from the list of the guests of his birthday party for this misdemeanour.
Thornton was discussing a surprise gift for the guests.
But Zoey needed a way to keep Thornton distracted, giving her the possibility to warn Drake. She panted heavily. “Steve, don’t you want tp tell Thornton about your latest scu;ptures?”
Crazy Steve grinned.
Thornton sighed. “No, thanks, I am not interested in …”
Steve grabbed Thornton, yelling thereupon into hid face “of yourse you are interested!” He continued more calmly, “I have just received an old radio from Zoey Brooks. [old readio]”
Zoey sighed for relief. She snuck away and started warning Drake.
Steve had not been able to do that forever.
But finally, Drake got his lips off Maria in time.
That had been really close.
Unfortunatley, Maria had recognised Zoey. She hated the blond Marty Sue for getting her cousin banned to Siberia, or at least close to there.
But Drake and Maria would encounter again at the party.
And this was the night of the unfabulous birthday party of Thornton Wheeler.
There was a huge special attraction:
Original actors from Galaxy Wars, the greatest action adventure movie ever produced by Malcolm Reese.
Zoey was already there, looking at the delicious buffet. But the blond Mary Sue wanted to stay as slim as possible.
The original sound track was heard.
The actors replayed one of the legendary battles.
Megan applauded. But she did not get rid of Freward Benson.
Suddenly, noise was heard from the entrance.
The guards did not let Crazy Steve in.
The law school drop ou had never been invited, and he had just heard about it from Zoey. But he was the greatest fan ever of Nug Nug, one of the main characters of Galaxy Wars.
Nug Nug cried, “I feel the need to cuddle the intruder!”
The organisers looked astionished.
Nug Nug took his laser sword and started fighting agaiunst the guiards.
They mistook the movie sword for a real weapon and ran away screaming.
Crazy Steve walked in and started huggling the living hell out of Nug Nug.
Megan Parker used this moment of general confusion in order to cry itout: “I love Dustin Brooks!”
This scared Fredward Benson away.
Zoey was shocked. “Have I heard that right?” She was totally puzzled. What should she have done?
The new life at “Pacific Coast Academy” would tell.
[bing bong] cf. Zoey 101 : Defending Dustin
[monica chance] Monica is from Megan’s First Kiss.
The surname is from some cameo of the same actress in a different movie.
[fredward benson] This co-star from iCarly is here identified with a cameo rôle of the same actor in Drake & Josh : Battle of Pantathar.
[maria cruz] Maria is from Drake & Josh : The Battle Of Panthatar.
The surname is from same actress’s rôle in some third-party owned movie.
[old readio] That radio is seen in Zoey 101 : New Roomies and identified with the same model from Zoey 101 : ‘Zoey’s Radio’.
cf. also possibly iCarly : iParty With Victorious
Table of Contents
Alas, there was one shocking revelation.
Mr. Brooks was offered a job in London.
His company was exapanding across the ocean.
This implied the necessity of a competent overseer.
All of a sudden, new horizons opened for Zoey and for Dustin.
An even more exclusive boarding school known as “Covington”’s was waiting for them.
Mr. Brooks would not have wanted to tell the kids right now.
The offer was not yet confirmed.
But it would not have made too much sense for Zoey to go to “Pacific Coast Academy” for a few months and then follow their parents to good old England.
Given the current situation, Zoey was thus forced to decide right now.
It took her one whole night to think about everything.
But then the choice was clear.
Dustin did not want to go to England, anyways, due to his severe distain for British weather and kitchen.
Zoey had not got problems with adjusting to things like those.
The prospects of going to London were very promising.
But Zoey felt having left Dustin and many other kids at “Pacific Coast Academy” stand in the dark for too much time already. She needed to stay with them and put an end to the night besieging the hallowed ground of “Pacific Coast Academy”.
Helen Baxter and her other minions would have been lost completely without Zoey’s help, too.
Thus Zoey had to sacrifice all of her hopes connected with “Covington” for the sake of the kids and Helen’s gang.
So, what becanme of Megan’s words?
During the summer break, Dustin came to hear about them.
After Thornton’s birthday party, the words spread like wildfire.
Dustin was totally cool with that. He may not have seen Megan topo often until then. But he had heard so manty good things about her from Wendy, Robbie, Ashley, and so on.
Megan’s arrival at “Pacific Coast Academy” was like the end of a long night of his life.
Dustin would have sacrificed about his whole life for being with her in the case of having come to know about her feelings earlier on.
This year, Audrey Parkerwas on her honeymoon trip with Gavin Mitchell to the Easter Islands.
This made things a bit easier for Megan.
Zoey Brooks was now sharing “101 Brenner Hall” with Lola Martinez and with Quinn Pensky, as determined by Helen Baxter.
This appeared diring that time as the best solution.
It would not always work out well.
Helen Baxter had to fire a few inept teachers, such as Mr. Hotchins[hotchins]
, a grumpy charlatan of almost seventy years.
His spot was taken over by Rose Pinchbinder[rose pinchbinder]
, a stern bookkeeper from New York City.
Likewise, inept science teachers Bromwell[bromwell] and Beringer [beringer] got eliminated by the new owner.
Josh Nichols would replace them for the time being, until the arrival of new science teacher Mr. Jamerson[jamerson]
from New York City.
Finally, Dean Rivers left voluntarily.
Helen replaced him with Dean Taylor.
As anticipated and announced by her cousin Maria, Dana Cruz was now back from her exile in Eudonia. And she was hell bent on getting back at Zoey.
One of Helen’s first public actions at “Pacific Coast Academy” in her new office as the owner and superintendent was that of overseeing the PCA dance contest.
Zoey Brooks and Crazy Steve won that competition with Steve’s infamous fire cracker dance[fire cracker].
The runner up was the couple of Joshuah Nichols and Quinn Pensky.
Josh was now a student teacher for AP classes in science, by the way.
For the contest, they chose a combination of Quinn’s dance with thirty hula hoops and Josh’s dance from aforementioned talent show.
But Helen deemed Steve’s and Zoey’s performance the best of all.
Also, Helen fired coffee cart vendor Calvin for hitting on girls while selling coffee, thence making the waiting queues unnecessarily long.
Not much later, there was that middle school talent show.
Dustin and Megan used this occasion in order to repeat the aforementioned trick with reviving Doheny.
Helen had successfully invited him to the show.
Dustin and Megan would clearly win the event.
Unfortunately, Zoey and Steve missed owed on this event.
The same evening, Zoey’s favourite chick flick authoer, Jatrie Hawthorne, visited a nearby library.
Zoey just had to be there.
Crazy Steve took her downtown in his car.
Not much later, Zoey’s granduncle Morris died.
Zoey had never known him alive. But she still inherited a whole truck load of barbecue chops. Thinking of a way to use them up before letting them rot away, she organised a barbecue contest.
Trisha Kirby alias Samantha Puckett ate up all the barbecue chops, making a real contest impossible.
Megan made her believe in the barbecue sauce containing aforementioned Peruvian puff peppers, though.
Sam was thus subject to severe digestion problems during the next months. She even imagined suffering from kidney failure.
Quinn had to perform some immediate surgery in order to relieve Sam’s pains.
But only the affection of Fredward Benson effected Sam’s complete recovery.
Dustin and Megan still felt neglected by their elder siblings.
This was especially the case since the talent show.
Thus the kids snuck into the room of Chase, Michael, and Logan in order to watch some Japanese horror movie, Shinusha, againstthe verdict of Drake and Zoey. Then they feigned beiing totally terrified.
Their elder sibling thus felt compelled to host them until the end of the intimidation.
Logan had got that movie directly from Japan, exactly like hi Japanese cellulkar phone.
Unfortunately, the J-phone was able to trigger fake fire alerts.
But Josh Nichols had not got any problems fixing the problem.
This way, Logan could keep on using his J-phone for nightly downloads of movies without making the alert bells ring out.
Finally, Megan and Dustin fessed up to their fraud.
Drake and Zoey had to promise to do more things along with them.
Not much later, Zoey Brooks won the “Hands on the Blix Van” contest. She was able to leave one hand on the skin of said vehicle of that software vendor for longer than anyone else.
Her prize was a flight with the blix jet toa place of her choice.
Zoey chose a flight to Milan for the enxt fashion fair, along with Crazy Steve alias Spencer Shay.
A few days later, Logan Reese wanted to start a beauty pageant on the campus of “Pacific Coast Academy” as a means of hitting reuthlessly on girls. He was up to being the only judge.
Helen Baxter approved of the pageant, but she made herself the only judge.
Zoey Brooks won the pageant, followed by Stacey Dillsen and Wendy Gellar.
Logan and his fiancé Mandy Franklin had spent too much money of sports car and jewelry.
Down came Malcolm Reese in order to take away his privileges, especially his credit card.
Helen Baxter found this unfair and talked to Malcolm about that. “Logan is a Jerk and a dandy, but he would just sacrifice anything for upkeeping the Reese family honour.” Likewisew, Helen had sacrificed almost everything for her dream of a perfect school jus a call away from Hollywood.
Many years ago, Helen Baxter had been a subteen Hollywood starlet.
Malcolm had just been dreaming of ruling all over Hollywood.
Those were the days.
Malcolm and Helen could not stop talking about those good old times.
The year ended with long awaited night of Junior Prom, the conclusion of a long story.
Nicole Bristow was at the prom as well. She had been invited by some Nicholas Webber, a hollow bimbo boy.
They had been chosen as partners for a school dance back at middle school.
Nothing had ever come out of it.
But Megan and Dustin had researched this and thought the two of them to be cute together.
And this time around, it was really working out.
This made Nicole drop her plans of revenge against Zoey Brooks.
Zoey Brooks went there with Steve Spencer Shay.
Quinn Pensky showed up with Joshuah Nichols.
Stacey Dillsen and Eric Blonowitz were yet another cute prom couple.
Dana Cruz arrived in the company of wrestling ox Duke Blatzberg. She had ever since given up her plans of getting back at Zoey. “Without the efforts of the blond Mary Sue, the junior prom would be totally lame.”
Chase Matthews arrived with Addie Singer.
Logan Reese was accompanied by “Makeout” Mandy Franklin.
Michael Barret was joined by Wendy Gellar.
Lola Martinez’s choice was Drake Parker. But he was already chosen for making the music.
The compromise was easy:
Drake took turns with Lisa Perkins.
During the respective breaks, Drake could dancewith Lola, while Lisa could sweep her boyfriend, teenager acting star Spencer Carter, across the dancing floor.
Dustin and Megan were responsible for the prom buffet.
At the end of the night, Helen and Malcolm showed up in order to announce their wedding.
The prom night was thus immediately followed by the engagement celebrations ere the rise of sun.
One more night at “Pacific Coast Academy” was coming to a glorious end.
[hotchins] from Zoey 101 : The Curse Of PCA
[rose pinchbinder] from True Jackson VP : Keeping Tabs
[bromwell] cf. Zoey 101 : Zoey’s Tutor
[beringer] cf. Zoey 101 : Paige At PCA
[jamerson] cf. True Jackson VP : True’s New Assistant
[fire cracker] from iCarly : iDream Of Dance
