Stars And Swabs
Klaus Schilling
Abstract
Stacey Dillsen is a new pupil at Pacific Coast Academy, making art from cotton swabs.
Will she do the right thing in order to make her dreams come true?
Table of Contents
- Intro
- 1. New At PCA
- 2. Knocked Out
- 3. The Chemistry Inbetween
- 4. Football Fever
- 5. Rejected
- 6. Fatal Cart Race
- 7. Chuck Javers
- 8. Win A Date With Stacey
- 9. Eric At PCA
- 10. Locked Out
- 11. Radiology
- 12. Pissed-Off Dean
- 13. Trip To The Library
- 14. Ribs And Swabs
- 15. Redstone Gulch
- 16. Doheny At PCA
- 17. To Old England
- 18. Shoe Drama
- 19. Junior Prom
- 20. The Divorce
- 21. Back To PCA
- 22. Labradoodle
- 23. Sam’s Debts
- 24. Cotton Swab Cake
- 25. Christmas In Seattle
- 26. Spring Breakthrough
- 27. Plagiarisers
- 28. Teaching Art
- 29. Finale
Table of Contents
Stacey Dillsen comes to Pacific Coast Academy as a sophomore.
Her greatest hobbies are acrobatics, astronomy, sculpting, and woodshop.
Unfortunately, she is too much distracted by evil jocks.
Is there a way for Stacey to pursue the career of her choice?
Stacey’s decisions modify the story line of Zoey 101 and indirectly those of other shows.
The story features about everyone and his dog from Zoey 101, Drake & Josh, and iCarly, and many characters from the other Nickelodeon shows.
Stacey Dillsen – Eric Blonowitz, Lola Martinez – Beck Oliver,
Quinn Pensky – Cal[cal],
Chase Matthews – Addie Singer[addie singer],
Logan Reese – Mercedes Griffin[mercedes griffin],
Michael Barret – Wendy Gellar[wendy gellar],
Zoey Brooks – Spencer Shay,
Dustin Brooks – Carly Shay,
Dean Rivers – Mrs. Park,
Vincent Blake – “Makeout” Mandy Franklin[makeout mandy],
Lisa Perkins – Drake Parker,
Mark Del Figgalo – Brooke Margolin[brooke margolin],
Coco Wexler – Walter Nichols,
Kazu – Evelyn Wexler[evelyn wexler], et cetera
The story starts with season three of Zoey 101, season 4 of Drake & Josh, post Unfabulous and Ned’s Declassified SSG, and before the start of any other canon.
The story is written for Livejournal community Tamingthemuse, prompt Mali
MALI is here understood as an acronym for Museo de Arte de Lima.
The story is written for Livejournal community Crossovers 50, prompt Rock
[cal] Cal is a scientist appearing in iCarly : iGo Nuclear
[addie singer] Addie Singer, the star of Unfabulous, is identified with same actress’s cameo character “Addie” in Drake & Josh : Honor Council. She is shown helping Megan Parker with a prank on Josh.
[mercedes griffin] from Big Time Rush : Big Time Party.
She’s identified with same actress’s character in Ned’s Declassified SSG, viz. “Missy Meany”.
[wendy gellar] Wendy is Drake Parker’s stalking fan from Drake & Josh : Number One Fan.
The surname is taken from same actress’s character in Camp Rock.
I don’t own the latter movie.
Also, Wendy’s character properties are partly borrowed from Caitlyn Gellar.
[makeout mandy] mentioned in Zoey 101 : Chasing Zoey
She’s identified with cameo character cheerleader Mandy from Drake & Josh : Football
[brooke margolin] Brooke Margolin is Mark’s new girlfriend only appearing in Zoey 101 : Quinn Misses The Mark
[evelyn wexler] Evelyn “Evvy” Wexler is a star cook with a cameo in True Jackson VP : True Fear
Table of Contents
The sun came up from the impressive southeastern Californian hill chains, and it scattered its light over the campus of the Pacific Coast Academy, the most expensive and prestigious boarding school of southern California.
The summer break was now over.
Masses of students were returning to their campus.
There were also many new kids among them.
One of them was sophomore girl Stacey Dillsen. She was from New England, or, more precisely, Swampscott in the state of Massachusetts, all the way across the continent.
Stacey’s sister Suzanne worked as a nurse at St. Steve’s Hospital in the state of Mississippi.
Stacey talked in a slurred manner.
Already early in her life, her permanently bickering parents were involved in a car crash, causing little Stacey to start lisping. The parents had always been embarrassed about this fact.
This was one reason for sending Stacey as far away as can be.
But this action also removed Stacey from the smoking conflict between her parents.
She was thusly not aware of the increasingly desolate state of her parents’ marriage.
Stacey’s main hobbies were astronomy, wood shop, and yoga.
Alas, her dad deemed young girls not suited for a carpenter’s trade.
Thus Stacey resorted to building sculptures especially from cotton swabs. Now she was entering the campus.
Her trip to California had been a bit cumbersome. It started with a coach trip from Swampscott to Boston.
A smaller plane took her from Boston to New York City.
A standard machine took her from Kennedy’s to Los Angeles.
This was terrible.
Stacey had been permanently ignored by the plane’s service staff.
Only a rusty buggy car had finally taken her from the airport of Los Angeles to the beach of Malibu.
At first glance, the Pacific Coast Academy looked rather like a spa than a school.
But trusting this first glance would not have been a really good thing, would it?
Stacey followed the instructions on her “cheat sheet” for new pupils.
Her dormitory room, according to this paper, was supposed to be “104 Brenner”.
The corridors in the dormitory block were painted in dark pink.
Stacey liked the colourful atmosphere.
Alas, most students appeared to ignore her.
This was turning worse the more evident her slurred pronunciation turned out.
Stacey was already desperate. She took a family package of white cotton swabs from her luggage and cuddled it. “Aw, my cotton swabs!” She sobbed. Finally, she had found her new residence.
Her official roomies were already in there.
Alas, one of them, a rude diva named Lisa Perkins, pushed Stacey violently away.
Stacey started sobbing and squealing, but for no avail. She had to budge and look for a different room.
Alas, the real dormitory rooms were already occupied with girls.
The only thing left was one of the auxiliary dorms, a mix between an equipment room and a monasterial dormitory cell.
Stacey walked in in order to dump her luggage and weep.
The beds were rusty metal grids with a few tattered and torn blankets.
The window was small and set too high to look out.
Stacey was desperate. She started spreading a bunch of swabs and using them to build a very fragile construct, resembling her dream of a house.
Stacey walked into the cafeteria. “Is there any place left for a nice fellow student , along with some swabs?”
Of course, there was not.
Wherever Stacey passed by in order to ask, she was told something like, “No, we are waiting for friends waiting in the queue.”
But those “friends” never showed up.
Thus Stacey was doomed to rot at an auxiliary table right in a corner.
This table lacked the usual cover and a set of condiments, such as salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
Stacey could not digest meat without mustard.[stacey needs mustard] She was thus desperate.
Her whole life at Pacific Coast Academy was starting out as one endless horror trip of the worst sort.
The next afternoon, Stacey walked into her lounge, right after homeroom classes, along with a cotton swab model of her dream house. She explained it to randomly bypassing and totally uninterested students.
A bush-headed dork crossed her way. He was later turning out as one Chase Bartholomew Matthews from a place not too far from Stacey’s homelands. But now he was apparently too excited to care about things in his way.
Half a second later, a bunch of cotton swabs, formerly part of a sculpture carried by Stacey, adorned the ground.
Stacey squealed in agony.
Chase turned around. He pretended being sorry, wondering about the swabs. “What is that? Or are there many of them?” He could not make sense of the ruins of the swab house. But he feigned being interested, and he named the parts of the ruin as well as possible.
But this did not make Stacey refrain from starting to weep.
Chase helped her gathering the bits and pieces, anyways. Then he walked over to some blond Barbie-like girl.
The Mary Sue turned out to be Zoey Brooks.
Chase talked about some toons made with his own “photo shop”. “Hey Zoey! My toons have been accepted by Toon Juice.”
The latter was a site publishing toons made by third parties. It even offered payments for regular deliveries.
Chase hugged Zoey. “I have to tell Rebecca!”
The blond Barbie girl did not react in a pleased manner.
In any case, Stacey did not understand anything about Chase and Zoey. She was just glad having her cotton swabs together.
Chase walked out again, apparently in order to look for aforementioned “Rebecca”. Alas, careless as usual, he ran once more into Stacey and made her drop the freshly gathered bits and pieces of the swab house.
Stacey squealed even worse.
“I’m really sorry,” replied Chase, “Call me!”
Stacey started weeping again. She didn’t even know the number of the dork with that capital shrubbery. But she decided randomly to ask, “what number?”
Chase was already gone.
Zoey Brooks had overheard the troubles. She told Stacey a long string of digits, obviously containing the phone number of the careless dork.
Stacey sighed.
Chase had actually made it to an agreed meeting point. He was five minutes late, making Stacey weep again.
But the girl from Swampscott was accustomed to worse treatment.
Most kids would not have come at all to an agreed meeting with Stacey.
Chase moaned upon facing the heap of swabs.
Stacey gave him stern instructions. “You need to apply one drop of glue at each end, and let it dry for five seconds.” She started counting. “One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, …”
Chase’s ears started hurting.
Stacey wondered, “is the blond Barbie doll your girlfriend, or that busty Latina, Rebecca?”
Chase moaned, “neither.” He looked desperate.
Stacey remarked sarcastically, “sure!”
Chase sighed. “I want Zoey. But I use Rebecca in order to make her jealous. Well, I’ve tried to do that. But I’ve messed it up.”
Stacey looked aghast.
Chase explained,
Rebecca, alias Caterina Vega, is really a girl from a local actresses’ school named Hollywood School for The Professional Performance Arts.
I’ve paid her in order to pretend to be my girlfriend.
Stacey was still puzzled, thinking, “what a dork!”
Chase continued,
But Rebecca went too far.
I may not even talk to Zoey anymore, according to Rebecca, in order to make the plan work out. But I don’t want that.
Now Rebecca quit her job.
And I still have to pay, But I don’t understand why.
Zoey still just wants me as a friend.
And that stinks.
Angry Chase kicked the table with his leg.
The cotton swabs on the table were scattered again.
Stacey started weeping.
Chase had just contracted some extra work. “Dern! I wanted to go to dinner with my pals Michael and Logan.”
Stacey’s eyes turned glassy. “Logan Reese? The son of Malcolm Reese?”
Malcolm Reese was Hollywood’s biggest producer, and a sponsor of both Pacific Coast Academy and Hollywood School for The Professional Performance Arts.
His son Logan was a playboy of nation-wide fame.
Stacey had already heard a lot about him.
Chase nodded. “Yeah, Logan Reese is my roomie. Why?”
Stacey’s eyes changed bugged out. She started swooning. “Logan Reese!”
Chase shrugged. “He’s just a jerk.”
Stacey was not turned away by Chase’s words. “Give me a date with that ‘jerk’, and I will forgive you any cotton swab damaged during our time here at Pacific Coast Academy!”
Chase sighed. “OK, sounds like a deal!” He felt his remorses dissolve into thin air. He was certainly going to run into hapless Stacey over and over again. Thus he could need this absolution.
They hi-fived.
But their was still some glue left on their fingers.
Chase was disgusted.
They had got a hard time getting their hands to separate, using some industrial glue killer.
And Chase was better acting thoroughly.
Otherwise some malicious pupils would have accused him of dating Stacey.
And these rumours would have destroyed in one swipe each and every hope for Chase of getting a decent girlfriend, especially an extraordinary Mary Sue like Zoey Brooks.
Two years of his life would have been wasted beyond restauration.
He was already thinking about an excuse for being late to dinner with his pals.
And they wanted to see a movie right thereafter.
Stacey wondered, “how could you hire such a beast like Rebecca?”
Chase sighed deeply. “My friend Lola has talked me into. She’s Zoey’s roomie. She was tired of me hankering after Zoey like a sick puppy. Thus she told me about her cousin Caterina.”
Lola was an aspiring Hollywood actress on her own right, and much more gifted than her busty cousin. But she had been sent to Pacific Coast Academy by her parents because of better chances on a decent college, in the case of not being lucky enough to make it into fully professional acting beyond being a teenage star. Lola would also have been a decent teacher for English and Spanish. She was particularly keen on reading Shakespeare.
Many girls in Lola’s family had got her extraordinarily good looks and the enthusiasm for entertaining the masses. But they had all failed so far.
There were even less opportunities for becoming a professional sculptor.
Was Stacey really up to such a rare career?
Time was going to tell.
Chase walked out after getting rid of the last traces of glue. Now he was aware of his burden. He thought, “Logan and Stacey? Oh my god!”
Table of Contents
Stacey Dillsen had just build a cotton swab model of her idea of a new and improved admin hall of Pacific Coast Academy. She carried it across the campus.
At the same time, Dean Carl Rivers, well renowned headmaster of Pacific Coast Academy, was meeting with his secretary Beverly[beverly]
and two sharks on the campus.
They were about to discuss a possible divorce of Carl Rivers from his psychopathic wife Tipper.
Stacey spotted Dean Rivers from afar.
The dean appeared busy.
Stacey should probably not even have considered bothering him just in order to show him the model of the updated admin hall. But she had been stoked by Chase’s promise to organise her one date with Logan Reese.
The playboy’s money would future Mrs. Stacey Reese allow to donate the necessary bucks in order to tear down the old and ugly building and replace it with a realisation of her own vision of an admin hall.
That building would then be renamed to “Stacey Reese Hall”.
Naming campus buildings for alumni having contributed most to them was a common practice adhered to by the school’s board under the presidency of Garth Burman[burman]
.
Alas, sometimes Mr. Bradford[bradford], son of the school’s founding father, objected to certain names. He had been vigorously opposed to coeducation and was thus not unlikely to reject girls as godfathers of a Pacific Coast Academy building.
But, Bradford’s high age and rumours about his health suggested an impending end of his rule.
His son-in-law, a liberal methodist, was expected to fill in the conservative “dinosaur’s” position.
This suggest a lowered resistance to modernisation.
Stacey’s hopes were thus kindled to some high degree.
She decided, albeit after some initial hesitation, to present her model unto Dean Rivers. “HEy, Dean Rivers, it’s me, Stacey Dillsen from Swampscott in Massachusetts.” She ran towards the headmaster. “You need to see this. I know you will like it.”
Unfortunately, a stray miniature plane erred across the campus. It had been launched by Dustin Brooks, little brother of Zoey.
Quinn Pensky, nerdy room mate of Zoey Brooks, had repaired the plane before the start, but disabled the servo navigation in favour of improved propulsion.
Stacey did not see the miniature aircraft flying. And she ran exactly into the trajectory of the killer plane.
Crash!
The head of Stacey Dillsen was hit hard by the impact of the plane.
She squealed in excruciating agony. Little wonder, dizzy Stacey could not hold onto the cotton swab model.
It was dropped and smashed against the paved layer of the campus surface.
The impact made it burst into smithereens.
Making it worse, Stacey still heard the angels sing and saw stars in front of her eyes. In her confusion, she stumbled around aimlessly, unintentionally stomping on her own master piece and ruining it even more.
Beverly did not hesiate and used her cellular phone in order to call the nurse’s station. “Emergency on the campus square, probably some complicated skull trauma ore something …”
Dean Rivers, on the other hand, was under shock. He supposed his wife Tipper to have send the plane, with the intention of getting him killed.
Finally, the paramedics arrived with a wheelbarrow.
Stacey had collapsed in the meanwhile. She was placed onto the barrow and carried away to the nurse’s station.
But, according to the nurse, Stacey’s injuries were too gross to be treated here.
The cotton swab princess needed to be transported to nearby hospital “St. Illness”[st illness].
Jeremiah Trottman, a sophomore working as a reporter for the Pacific Coast Academy channel for fatal accidents on the campus, delivered a series of stupid comments. “Stacey Dillsen has thusly saved our dean from a capital onslaught incited by his wife, Tipper Rivers.”
Dean Rivers moaned, “now I am getting a divorce!”
Stacey woke up from her temporary loss of consciousness.
Dr. Fischbaum[dr fishbaum] took care of her injuries.
Stacey’s head was bandaged all over.
Stacey whimpered piteously.
The medic had to detect the constitution of her brain. “How many fingers do you see?” He held three fingers up.
But the bandages allowed Stacey neither to see nor to talk.
Her slurred pronunciation would have been an obstace, anyways.
The door opened.
Coco Wexler, messy and obese adviser for the Pacific Coast Academy’s girls’ dormitories, slouched in.
Dean Rivers had commanded her to take care of the usual tasks in the case of hospitalised students.
Coco was equipped with the necessary papers about the health insurance and the medical history of Stacey.
There was a compulsory internal health care system at Pacific Coast Academy.
Students treated outside needed to follow certain formalities.
Otherwise, the health insurance would not have covered the costs.
Anyways, the papers carried by Coco were soaked with tears.
The dorm adviser did not make a really responsible impression, either. Even worse, she started weeping like an idiot. “Let me die in here! Why, Carl, why?” She was cringing in mental pain and agony.
Dr. Fishbaum shook his head. He called for the whitecoated lads with the straight jacket. “One woman for the whitewashed walls, room 101!”
Coco stammered some incoherent crap about some Carl.
Softball coach Carl Bubba[carl bubba] had been Coco Wexler’s on-and-off boyfriend during the last two years. He used to break up with her via cellular phone messages.
The lads in white arrived and carried Coco away.
Needless to say, “St. Illness” needed some other person for the connection with the Pacific Coast Academy.
Dean Rivers had selected three students from Stacey’s classes, viz. Zoey Brooks, Quinn Pensky, and Lola Martinez, in order to take care of her things.
Stacey had now slightly recovered.
But Dr. Fishbaum needed to keep her for observation.
Complications could return any time.
The bandage had now been partly removed from her head.
Without it, Stacey looked now even more scary and intimidating,
Her voice had not been improved by means of the accident, either.
Lola, an exorbitantly attractive Latina and aspiring hollywood star, could not bear seeing Stacey. “I’m going to visit Coco, See you!” She walked out. A moment later, she was heard puking in the corridor.
Zoey gasped.
Hell, Lola has lost her sushi, again.
Should I be worried?
Quinn shook her head. “She’s tough.”
Zoey shrugged. “OK, Lola, we will follow in a bit.” She handed some more papers to Dr. Fishbaum. “Coco’s social inscurance and stuff.” She was also carrying replacement clothes for Stacey and Coco, and a package of cotton swabs for Stacey.
Quinn scrutinised Stacey’s injuries. “Doc Fishbaum, I don’t think your treatment of her head injuries complies with modern standards.”
Dr. Fishbaum grunted,
who are you to complain?
I’m the medic!
Quinn Pensky took her wallet and produced an official card. “My junior license as a deputy of Dr. Hollywood[dr hollywood]
.”
Fishbaum looked at the card and gasped. “You’re an expert for kidney transplants?”
Quinn nodded solemnly.
don’t forget plastic surgery!
During the summer break, I’ve restored the face of Mrs. Puckett, Seattle’s most-wanted female criminal.
The cops can’t find her ever since.
If you need me, I usually operate in Come On inn.[come on inn]
Dr. Fishbaum was impressed.
Quinn suggested some surgeries to be performed on Stacey’s face, according to her scientifically founded judgment.
Zoey went dizzy from listening to Quinn. She announced to go to Coco either.
Stacey was a bit disappointed. “Wait. Zoey, you need to remember me to Logan Reese!” She blushed.
Quinn explained, “after my face surgery, you will look much hotter!”
Zoey was gone.
Stacey smiled. “OK, then Logan will finally make me Mrs. Stacey Reese!” She purred and swooned ecstatically.
Quinn explained,
I may perform all these surgeries on the campus.
There’s no need for letting Stacey stay in here for more than one or two days more.
Dr. Fishbaum shrugged. “OK! We will see!”
Zoey still needed to help Stacey a bit during her first steps on the campus after getting removed from St. Illness.
But Coco had not yet recovered from her mental misery. She could impossibly take up her job as a dormitory adviser during the running year.
Zoey had to inform Evelyn Wexler[evvy wexler], a sister of Coco working in New York City as a start cook.
Evvy was often seen on cooking channel. She was now needed in order to take further care of Coco and her deranged mental state.
Stacey was now looking forward to Quinn’s surgery and a new face. She anticipated being irresistable, especially to Logan Reese.
Quinn wondered, “so we will also get a new dorm adviser? Cool!”
Zoey sighed. “Coco has always been a great dorm adviser.”
Lola and Quinn grunted, “no!”
Zoey sighed.
OK, you’re right but …
well, we are not mean girls and can’t say it this way.
Even thought it is probably true.
Dean Rivers came along. “Oh, Miss Dillsen, thanks again for saving my life!”
“It was a pleasure,” replied Stacey in her usually lispy manner.
Quinn had already started talking about some additional surgery allowing Stacey to get rid of her slurred pronunciation. But she needed to know about the reasons.
They may have been merely psychological, making a surgery pointless.
In that case, Quinn suggested hypnosis.
Zoey wondered, “who will be our new dormitory adviser?”
Dean Rivers sighed.
Interviews will start next week.
But according to Bradford, there will be no new employments during this academic year.
For the time being, Mrs. Bender and some other teachers’ wives will share the task on an hourly base.
Zoey shrugged. “OK, whoever that will mean for us.” She had not expected Bradford to grant huge sums for replacing low-wage staff members like Coco Wexler, anyways.
Mr. Bender was the favourite teacher of Zoey and her friends.
Stacey didn’t care about anything but her new and hotter face and her new and less slurred pronunciation. And then she would have conquered the world of sculpting with her cotton swab models, side by side with her future husband Logan Reese. And she wanted to return to her cotton swab workshop.
In this moment, a bunch of cheerleaders darted past them. They had become really arrogant this year, due to new head cheerioes Mandy Franklin and Mercedes Griffin.
The new cheerio uniform had been originally designed by Zoey.
Logan wanted them more loosely clad.
Zoey had deemed that sexist.
Logan thus had hired some professional costume designers from his dad’s in order to fill the gaps.
Zoey was thus still in a stinky mood.
Stacey cheered for the cheerios. She dreamed of being one of them, cheering for Logan.
Zoey shuddered with disgust.
[beverly] several cameos in Zoey 101
[burman] cf. Zoey 101 : Spring Fling
[bradford] cf. Zoey 101 : Prank Week
[st illness] mentioned in Drake & Josh : Treehouse
[dr fishbaum] mentioned in Drake & Josh : Dinner with Bobo
[carl bubba] Carl is from Zoey 101 : Hot Dean.
The surname is chosen for same actor’s cameo character in Unfabulous, throughout season four.
[dr hollywood] various cameos in Big Time Rush
[come on inn] according to iCarly : iTake On Dingo, the plastic surgeon of the mother of Sam Puckett operates over there.
[evvy wexler] from True Jackson VP : True Fear
Table of Contents
Only a few weeks later, many pupils felt tortured by science classes.
Zoey Brooks felt her hopes going down the drain after a mediocre mark in chemistry. But she needed to uphold her high average for a scholarship at either of the most renowned colleges of the nation.
Stacey was walking across the campus, along with yet another construct of cotton swabs and white glue. She found desperate Zoey Brooks sitting on the cool and stony pavement of the campus square. She did not really have the time for a break, but she decided to ask Zoey about her mental depression.
Hi Zoey! Look what I’ve built!
Isn’t it impressive?
Zoey raised her head. “Er … what is that?” She could not make any sense of the cotton swab model held up by Stacey Dillsen.
The lispy lass explained, “that’s a model of my favourite molecule, that of long chemical formula.”
The many instances of the letter “s” in said formula made Stacey’s words even more annoying than usual.
Zoey gasped. She was so allergic to chemistry. She punched the model and made it fly across the campus. “I hate chemistry!”
Stacey started weeping piteously.
Zoey regretted her brash reaction and helped Stacey gathering the smithereens.
Alas, this did not diminish the vigor of Stacey’s desperate squeals.
Zoey complained,
And now I have to go through tutoring.
That’s a shame.
Stacey guessed, “Quinn will tutor you, right?”
Zoey shook her head.
Quinn can’t be understood by anyone less gifted than Einstein. She tries to teach me.
But everything goes above my head.
She made a gesture implying the sensation of dizziness.
Stacey sobbed. “Too bad. Who else may tutor you? Firewire?”
Zoey glared aghast at Stacey.
I’d rather jump from the Empire State than that!
Really, Mrs. Bromwell[mrs bromwell]
will assign me a tutor.
She shrugged helplessly.
Finally, Stacey had collected the ruins of her cotton swab molecule. She waved at Zoey and walked away.
A week later, Stacey had built a cotton swab cage destined for hosting Quinn Pensky’s dancing pet rat. She entered her lounge, carrying it safely in her arms.
Suddenly, Chase Bartholomew Matthews walked in. He was particularly angry. His hair was covered with a few leaves and twigs.
Too bad poor Stacey stood in his way.
A crash was inevitable.
Broken cotton swabs were sent aloft and started raining down on the visitors of the lounge.
The onlookers growled for excruciating annoy.
Once more Stacey could not withhold her tears.
Chase sighed deeply. He panted and offered to rebuild the whole junk with Stacey. But he was in a hurry. He ran away. But then he returned, “wait, Stacey! I’ve got some important news concerning your plans with Logan.”
Zoey squealed. “Aw my cotton swabs! I will soon be Mrs. Stacey Reese.”
Chase had dragged Stacey into a silent corner. “OK, I’ve just caught Logan and Zoey in flagrante delicto.”
Stacey started weeping uncontrollably.
Chase panted violently.
I don’t get it!
What does Zoey see in Logan?
Stacey answered, “his arms! Haven’t you seen his arms? Aw his arms!” She swooned in a frenzy.
Chase continued, “a few days ago, Michael and I were back early. We caught Logan and Zoey, alone in our dorm.”
Stacey rubbed her tear-soaked face against the wall. “Let me die!”
Chase continued,
even worse, I did not want to believe in Zoey dating the creep.
But Logan convinced me by forcing me to watch them from behind a a bush.
They agreed on another date.
It was all about the chemistry between them.
Chase choked. He could hardly believe his own words.
Of course, neither Chase nor Stacey were in any way glad about that.
But Stacey did not want to believe it.
Chase suggested,
Logan and Zoey are about dating in half in the library.
You may go there and check!
Stacey puted.
Oh, I will so do that!
And woe to Zoey if …
Chase gasped. “Get Logan and run away with him, but please leave Zoey alive for me.”
Stacey grunted, “OK, I’ll try to!” With grim determination, the cotton swab freak stomped her feet and walked away, bound for the library.
Stacey Dillsen had left her cotton swabs behind for the time being. She was now rather equipped with a telescope.
Usually, this tool served her for observing the stars at night.
But today, there was another use for it.
Stacey Dillsen was now hiding in the library.
The clerk had wondered about the telescope. But he let her pass, anyways. He was glad about being saved from excessively lispy talk about cotton swabs and white glue.
Stacey was now hiding behind the book shelves.
Zoey and Logan had entered the building, complete with a huge folder. They were talking a lot. Finally, they took seat at one of the tables.
Stacey adjusted the zoom of her optical aid. She was now watching the lovebirds across the book shelves.
Alas, it appeared a bit boring.
Logan really appeared to explain things from the folder.
Stacey expected the folders to contain perversities like pornographs and other examples of Logan’s favourite literature.
But it seemed to be about chemistry.
According to everyone’s knowledge, Logan was much too dumb for learning chemistry, let alone teaching.
Logan and Zoey felt obviously all alone and unobserved. But they were so wrong.
Logan grinned. “OK, Zoey, you’ve made quite a few great progresses.”
Stacey wondered silently, “progresses in what? Kissing?”
Zoey smiled.
Logan grinned. “And now we’re done with the work and may have some fun.”
Zoey was puzzled.
What do you mean with “fun”?
We are here in the library, all alone.
Logan grinned.
Exactly! It’s you, and I, all alone …
Nobody will notice us …
Zoey glared dumbfounded.
Stacey guessed Logan’s intentions. “No, Logan, you can’t do that! You belong to me!”
Logan gasped.
Zoey stood up. “Alone?”
Stacey stumbled.
The shelf was shaken.
A few books were released from the top of the shelf and dropped down on Logan Reese.
Fortunately, the jerk was only hit on the shoulders.
Zoey was flabbergasted. “What’s going on?”
Stacey showed up. “Logan Reese! How dare you to kiss another girl?”
Zoey grunted, “Logan? You are already dating Stacey? And you really tried to kiss me?”
Logan was unable to answer. “Erm …”
Zoey sighed deeply. “Come on, Stacey, we deserve better than such a ruthless playboy.”
Stacey sighed deeply.
Logan yelled after the girls.
But it was too late.
The playboy found himself covered with smart books.
Zoey and Stacey had left the library.
Zoey explained, “OK, really, Logan is the tutor for chemistry.”
Stacey’s eyes bugged out.
Zoey continued,
Oh actually, his grandfather was a teacher at Caltech.
Logan was forced to learn from him. Well, he is not proud of it.
But that makes him a better teacher than Quinn or “Firewire”.
Alas, we had to keep it secret.
He doesn’t want to get caught dead with a good book in front of his nose.
Wayne “Firewire” Gilbert was a really creepy nerd.
Stacey shrugged.
Zoey wondered, “and you’ve been dating already?”
Stacey shook her head.
I so wanted to.
But he has only got eyes fro you.
She sobbed and started weeping. Then she told Zoey about Chase’s thought concerning Logan’s activities.
Zoey shook her head for disgust.
He only makes fun of us girls, including his dates, really. He’s such a perverse playboy.
Pray for never having to date him!
Stacey sighed deeply.
Zoey had opened the swab freak’s eyes.
For Stacey, confronting the truth was hard.
But it was not too late.
Zoey panted heavily. “Too bad I’m now left without a tutor.”
Stacey sighed. But she made an important remark. “I’ve improved in chemistry since making models of molecules from cotton swabs and white clue.”
Zoey’s eyes bugged out. “Really? Wow! There’s a plot!”
Stacey smiled gleefully.
Zoey thought about it.
I’m sort of an artist too.
But my material is cloth and yarn.
I love fashion design and textile creation.
Two years ago, my backpacks were the top of the scene.[zoeys baclpacks]
Of course, models of molecules could be made from other materials, too.
Thence Zoey and Stacey worked together creating backpacks adorned with cotton swab molecules.
This way, Zoey started learning a lot about chemistry.
Likewise, other students were happy to wear equipment helping them to learn, too.
In any case, Logan was now dead for Stacey, as he was for Zoey.
The cotton swab princess was ready to look for a new prince.
But who would be the lucky one to share cotton swabs, white glue, and a telescope with the amazing girl from Massachusetts for the rest of his life?
Table of Contents
Stacey had been finally cured from her obsession with Logan Reese.
But this did not make things much easier.
The main heartthrob of PCA girls was now one Vincent Blake, commonly known as “Vince”.
Droves of girls swarmed behind the star of the football team.
A good football team was the dream and the pride of most of the Californian prep schools.
The state championships were accordingly a high goal.
The renown of a school hinged to a great deal on the success of the football team.
The sponsors and alumni invested a lot of money into it, and they wanted to see decent results in turn.
This implied some immense pressure.
The team of Pacific Coast Academy had not made it beyond the sectionals in over a decade, the large investments of the sponsors notwithstanding.
But this year, fortune seemed to favour the brave.
This was owed to the will and the skills of one man:
Vincent Blake was the quarterback of the football team of the “Stingrays”.
The Stingray was the animal’s picture adorning the crest of Pacific Coast Academy.
Vince had lead the team successfully into the regionals of the football league.
It was up to him and his pals to realise the greatest athletic success of Pacific Coast Academy under the rule of Dean Rivers.
The expectations were really high.
A lot of training was required.
Many of the pupils wondered about the ability of the football players to unite both football training and curricular activities in their schedule.
According to the rules of Pacific Coast Academy, only pupils with marks no worse than a C were allowed to get allowances such as reduction of homework or skipping curricular lessons for the sake of extracurricular activities.
The best example of a victim of these rules was Logan Reese. He was unable to obtain marks better than a D in many subjects.
For that reason, Dean Rivers had to deny his requests for skipping English classes in order to participate in additional training sessions or in matches off the campus.
Otherwise, Logan would have been a really good football player and a much better — if not brilliant — basketball player.
Also Michael Barret was slagging behind.
But Vince Blake seemed to have no problems with all that. He made those obstacles with ease.
Some pupils wondered why.
But nobody would have ever dared to secondguess Vincent Blake in the public.
All pupils were looking forward to the first state title. They were not going to be kind to traitors.
Many girls were hankering after Vince.
Stacey Dillsen was one of them. And, just as in the case of Logan Reese, she was not just a fan, she was totally obsessed.
One day, I will be Mrs. Stacey Blake.
His arms are so strong. Aw …his arms!
She swooned to no end. She needed to build him a statue made of cotton swabs and white glue. For now, she had just been able to build a cardboard figure of her hero.
The competition, however, was more than overwhelming.
Even Quinn, Lokla, and Zoey appeared to hanker after him.
Most of the boys at Pacific Coast Academy would have loved to be in his place.
Of course, the main competitors were among the cheerio girls.
This was the most reasonable combination: quarterback and cheerio captain.
Until a few years ago, Pacific Coast Academy had been a pure boy school.
This was only the third year of coeducation.
Cheerleading was not really a popular task for boys.
Male cheerleaders were often the laughingstock of the school and needed to be treated by shrinks for many decades. They were generally deemed gay or weak and had got a hard time later at their college or their jobs.
Even during the first two years, girls had been a vast minority.
Only this year, the ratio of boys and girls was approaching the value of one to one.
The solution had been that of borrowing cheerleaders from other schools.
“James K. Polk”, “Hollywood School for the Professional Performing Arts”, “Palmwood”, “Eastridge”[eastridge]
, and “Silver Spring”[silver spring] were the most frequent donators.
Some of their cheerio girls had now switched to Pacific Coast Academy.
This was especially the case for Miranda Franklin, generally known as “Makeout Mandy” for her excessively promiscuous demeanour.
Mandy had formerly been a student from Belleview in the county of San Diego. After a football between Pacific Coast Academy and Belleview, she had decided to transfer to Pacific Coast Academy due to its hotter football players, especially Vincent Blake.
Likewise, Mercedes Griffin was one of the most prominent cheerios. She was the snobbish daughter of Arthur Griffin, one of the most influential rich men in Hollywood, second only to Malcolm Reese. On the one hand, Mercedes deprecated Logan for having the better credit card. On the other hand, she adored him above all.
That was a really tricky situation.
She could be really mean when reaching out for hot boys.
This had conferred upon her the title of a “Missy Meany”.
At her former school, “James K. Polk”, Mercedes had only been known by this nick, usually mistaken as her given name. Since sixth grade, Mercedes had helped out as a cheerio for Pacific Coast Academy.
This had also been the start of her dubious relationship and rivalry with Logan Reese.
But she had only came to Pacific Coast Academy for high school. In most situating, she liked to hang out with older Miranda Franklin even outside the cheerio activities, just like fire and brimstone.
They agreed more than anything else on not leaving “their” football hotties unto any of the dweeb girls, such as in particular Stacey Dillsen. They were going to protect their natural claims on the quarterback and other important members of the football team rigorously at any cost.
But more than anyone else, Ashley Blake[ashley blake] was suspicious of Stacey. She was the little sister of Vince. Since her elementary school times, she had been a Hollywood star. She had formerly been a student at nearby Hollywood School for The Professional Performance Arts , usually curtailed as “Hollywood Arts”, the greatest specialised school for this business in the Los Angeles area, only second to New York City’s Broadway School for the Professional Performinag Arts.
But her snobbish demeanour got her expelled from there.
She was plain unbearable and unsuited for the school projects, as testified by her insane teacher, Mr. Sikowitz.
Stacey was considered by Ashley as a shameful stain in Vince’s life.
The diva did everything in order to keep this particular fan away from Vince.
And Stacey was even a fan of Ashley.
Yet Ashley had admonished Stacey thrice to keep her fingers off Vince.
Actually, Vince was not able to take his time for both learning and working out. He negelected the former and cheated in tests in order to maintain his marks. He had not been caught in over a year.
Not many pupils would have had the guts to denounce him, the big star, anyways. They would have faced the hatred of most of their fellow pupils.
But one night, Chase Matthewws had caught Vince Blake in flagrante delicto.
The quarterback copied the ansers for an upcoming test in history.
Chase’s friends had urged Chase to refrain from denouncing Vince.
Chase wanted to get Vince to desist from cheating in future.
But the quarterback admitted shamelessly to keeping on cheating.
In this moment, Stacey offered Vince a new cotton swab sculpture in his own likeness. She gave him a photograph of it and was up to giving him the real thing a few days later.
Vince was annoyed, but he feigned accepting the offer.
The next morning, Vince was suspended from all of the extracurricular activities, including the final match of the Stingray football team.
Chase had denounced him directly in the office of Dean Rivers.
But Ashley, accompanied by the cheerio chieftains, told Vince, “hey, it was really Stacey Dillsen. She’s mad at you for not being her boyfriend.”
Vince choked hard, but he believed Ashley’s version. “Stacey will pay for it!”
The next evening, Stacey walked across the campus, carrying a big cotton swab sculpture of Vince. She rendered it unto her idol.
But instead of thanking his fan, Vince and his pals destroyed the statue and beat up Stacey badly.
Of course, there were no witnesses.
Stacey was still obsessed with Vince, and thus she would lie in order to save him from punishment.
Where would this end up?
[eastridge] cameo in Big Time Rush : Big Time Break
[silver spring] from Just Jordan
[ashley blake] from Drake & Josh : Little Diva
Table of Contents
There was a secret society active at many southern Californian schools. They were known as Silver Hammers.
This was owed to their ceremonial of recruiting new members.
The victims were knocked lightly on the head with a hammer made to look like solid silver.
The society itself was made in the likeness of Rotarians or Lions, with the difference of being exclusively for high school and college kids.
Like their adult counterparts, the “spirit of voluntarism and service to mankind” was one of their repeated slogans.
Their renown was increasing from year to year.
Many later on famous people had been members of the “hammers” at high school or college.
Their headquarters were now at James K. Polk high school in Santa Clarita.
But there was also a big embassy of the distinguished society residing at Pacific Coast Academy.
Each year, the elders accepted new members into the club.
The statutes of the Pacific Coast Academy’s embassy had only allowed for male members.
This was down to the history of Pacific Coast Academy as a school exclusively for boys.
But the Silver Hammers had been open for girls since much longer.
This year, the satutes had accordingly been updated to allow also girls into the Pacific Coast Academy based section.
This made many girls very excited.
Zoey Brooks, for example, knew about the high quota of law school graduates having been members of the “Hammers”.
Likewise, Lola Martinez was aware of many actors having been former “hammers”.
Stacey Dillsen had accidentally walked into the lounge, noticing Logan and Zoey having a discussion about the admission to the “Hammers”.
Logan was apparently sure about being able to buy his way into the club. Alas, his bribe got rejected by one of the elders.
The girls laughed.
Stacey Dillsen sighed. “I would like to be a ‘Hammer’, too.”
According to her research, Harry Joyner[harry Joyner], America’s greatest pop artist ever, had been a “Hammer”.
This made Stacey very much excited.
Was there a way for Stacey into the club?
Stacey had spent a whole night with ten family packs of cotton swabs and a bucket of white glue.
The result was a man-sized hammer made of cotton swabs.
Stacey was totally proud of her work. “Aw my swabs! The society can’t reject this gift!” She carried her master opus across the campus, smiling proudly.
The recruiters of the “hammers” were on their way.
Apparently, Zoey Brooks and Lola Martinez had just been knocked and been awarded with a silver sticker, the sign of a new “Hammer”.
Stacey was still following one of the recruiters. “Hey! You!”
The obscure guy turned around.
Stacey presented proudly her great piece of art.
This is for you, a huge silver hammer made of cotton swabs and white glue.
I’ve heard about Harry Joyner, a former “Hammer” and a great sculptor and pop artist.
She kept on talking about cotton swab arts.
The recruiter was apparently annoyed by Stacey’s incessant talk. He took his hammer and hit Stacey on the top of her head, but much harder than in the case of Zoey and Lola.
Stacey went dizzy from the impact. She floundered, staggered, reeled like an idiot, keeled over, and slumped mercilessly onto the pavement. She was not given a silver sticker, either.
The agent walked calmly away. “Nice dreams, Ms. Annoying!” Then he kicked Stacey’s master work hard with his feet, making it fly against some boulder and shatter upon impact, bursting into smithereens.
Chase and Michael walked along, noticing unconcious or at least dizzy Stacey Dillsen.
She was too heavy for the guys to lift up.
Alas, Chase pitied her. He had recently been knocked into the society. But he was not keen on that. He did not want to be a member of some “snobbish club”. Thus he picked his silver sticker and dropped it onto Stacey Dillsen. “Have fun with it!”
Michael gasped, “wow!”
Chase explained his reluctance unto Michael.
The new members of the “Hammers” had been gathered inside the meeting hall of the club.
The elders were welcoming them into the society.
But they were still on probation.
The elders read the names of the new members.
The newbies were assigned a task, viz. some service to the elders, for the next week.
Only those able to fulfill the task were admitted as full members.
Zoey was forced to feed the elders.
Lola was in charge with shaving them.
Michael was responsible for their tooth care.
Vince Blake enjoyed privilleges and he was only charged with carrying the elders’ luggage instead of some more disgusting job.
Stacey was anxiously waiting for her own task. But she was not on the list.
Thus there was no task for Stacey.
She complained, “Hey, you forgot about me, a nice student of Pacific Coast Academy. I am Stacey Dillsen, from Swampscott in Massachusetts. I like cotton swabs and astronomy. My sister Suzannne …”
The elders were upset.
One of them called for security,
But another member had got a better idea. “OK, Stacey, your task is that of washing and massaging our feet!”
They did not want Stacey in the club. But they did not object to anyone doing more slave jobs for them.
Stacey squealed insanely. “Yeah! I’m a hammer! I have to tell my cotton swabs!” She bounced all around and ran away.
The week was over.
Zoey Brooks had been totally annoyed by the arrogance of the elders.
Lola had been even worse off.
The leaders have got more hair on their back than a gorilla.
Boys may grow hair in each and every impossinble spot.
I didn’t know earlier.
She sighed.
And I had to shave them everywhere.
And tell you what?
They aren’t even good kissers.
Zoey comforted her best friend and roomie.
Stacey had been forced to clean the elder’s penetrantly stinking feet all over. She had even sacrificed quite a bunch of cotton swabs.
Those were useful in order to clean the space between the toes of the elders.
The dirt beneath their toenails was excessively disgusting.
All of the postulants had successfully mastered their respective task, though.
The elders thanked them.
All of the new members were accepted, besides one.
This caused some panic among the newbies.
According to the statutes, one of the postulants had to be rejected.
And the elders weren’t the ones to decide.
The postulants themselves had been forced to cast votes.
For Lola, the decision was easy.
The Hollywood diva declared, “Stacey should go!” She grinned. She hated Stacey.
Most of the other postulants agreed with Lola.
Only Zoey stayed neutral on the issue. She did not like that rule, anyways. But she was aware of the impending exorbitant decrease of her own popularity in the case of defending Stacey Dillsen.
After all, the decision was clear.
Stacey was voted out of the society of “Hammers” with a landslide.
After all of the insane amount of efforts and pains, Stacey was now totally sad. She walked out and started weeping.
As aforementioned, Logan Reese had tried to make it into the “Hammers” by bribing one of the elders.
But the respective elder had thence been taking offense.
Logan had thus been taken off the list of pupils to be knocked. He had thereupon decided to make his own snobbish club.
This society was meant to be known as “Loganites”.
Just like the “hammers”, Logan’s club had got its statutes prescribing its rules for accepting new members.
And these laws established a proof of courage of some sorts.
New members were required to cross the campus, wearing nothing but their undergarment.
Many potentially interested pupils were disgusted by this rule, especially Chase Matthews and his friend Mark del Figgalo.
The only one up to the challenge had been hitherto custodian Banville.[banville]
But following her demise from the club of Silver Hammers, Stacey Dillsen was also interested in Logan’s club.
Logan was consternated. “Erm, I don’t think you …”
Stacey did not listen. She took off her top and her trousers, reveiling undergarments made of cotton swabs and white yarn.
Logan puked all over the lounge.
Then Stacey crossed the whole campus in her outfit.
The other pupils unfortunate enough to watch Stacey startled, squealed, and ran around in panic, just like a stampeding pack of cattle and horses.
Stacey returned to Logan and change back into her day outfit. “hey, Logan! Have you seen that?”
Logan was totally embarrassed. “Stacey, I give you 1,000 bucks for not joining ‘Loganites’.” He took his wallet and counted the bills. “Here you are! And never dare again to do such a thing in front of my eyes!”
Stacey squealed like a fury and left Logan’s room. Now she deemed herself doomed for good. She would spend several days straight weeping all over the campus.
Table of Contents
Stacey’s slightly chubby appearance made her look very clumsy and lazy.
But this impression was cheating.
Stacey Dillsen was keen on acrobatics and on hatha yoga, by vulgar people simply known as yoga — with no strings attached.
Yoga was properly a very complex way of life, not restricted to gymnastic exercises, but also a way of breathing and thinking.
The most advanced yogi of all times — such as Sri Ramana Maharshi — had even shunned hatha yoga as a mere exercise for physical health, ultimately unrelated to the proper spiritual goals of yoga.
Stacey Dillsen did not really care about all that exotic stuff like “nirvana” and “samadhi”.
In Stacey’s eyes, the asanas, or practices of hatha yoga, were, before anything else, an inspiration for visual artists.
Stacey had already started making sculptures of cotton swabs and wood glue , depicting the whole variety of those asanas.
This required a lot of detailed artistic efforts.
There were insanely many of those postures to depict.
And there was so little space left in Stacey’s dormitory room.
Thus she was up to giving away most of the impressive sculptures.
Sometimes, Stacey’s yoga teacher got one or the other. She was no other than aforementioned Mrs. Bromwell, at other times teacher for chemistry.
Other students in Bromwell’s classes for “yoga” included Zoey Brooks and Lisa Perkins.
Mrs. Bromwell did not know anything about the real significance of yoga. She was way too materialistic for even thinking about it.
Lisa was equally dumb.
Zoey might have cared.
But, as of then, nobody had ever told her about that topic.
In any case, Mrs. Bromwell could not stand Stacey. She had always trashed the gifted cotton swab models of various postures right after.
Stacey would know about this only much later, though.
This time, Mrs. Bromwell had taught her students some new asana.
Zoey was going to master it within a few seconds.
But Stacey had got a few difficulties.
All of a sudden, a horrible scream filled the room.
Stacey had overstrained some muscle in her butt and was now no longer able to untie her intriguingly knotted limbs.
Mrs. Bromwell had to call the lads in white.
They already knew Stacey very well from a variety of preceding cases of emergency.
Thoroughly perverted Lisa Perkins made incessantly rude fun of Stacey’s unbroken string of stupid accidents, and she also incited Zoey Brooks into doing the same. She would pay for this particularly foul and abominable action dearly, one day, and rue it until the times of dystopia. She just did not know that.
Following her accident, Stacey Dillsen was only able to walk with crutch sticks.
One of her butt cheeks still burned like fire from hell.
But she fought her way through it.
Chase Matthews stood at the margins of the campus road, right next to some dismantled lawn mower.
Having explained her necessity of using a pair of walking sticks, Stacey wondered, “what is this going to be?”
According to Chase, this would turn out as a race cart.
I’ve always beaten Logan in video cart races.
But he thinks me unable to beat him in a real race.
There we are.
Logan bought a race cart.
I have to build my from scratch, using this power lawn mower.
He sighed deeply.
Stacey admired Chase for being able to build such a thing from scratch.
Chase sighed.
I really don’t know.
Quinn gave me these instructions.
But I don’t really understand them.
He shrugged and kept on screwing around. “Quinn will take care of the fine tuning, though.”
Logan passed by in his formula one racecart.
Chase eyed him enviously.
Logan giggled, exposing some triumphant smile. “Your lawnmower won’t even make it through the first curve.”
Stacey wondered about the location and the date of the race.
Chase told her.
Stacey sighed. “May I ride in Logan’s cart? It’s so hot?”
Logan shook hhis head.
Chase suggested, “OK, Logan I win, and Stacey will get her ride in your cart. You win, and I will take her in mine.”
Logan clenched his fists, signalising victory. “Oh yeah! Have fun with Stacey, for I will not lose the race, under no circumstances whatsoever!”
Chase grinned, “we will see!”
The red hot sun kept on burning all over Malibu beach.
Logan Reese and Chase Bartholomew Matthews, the gladiators of the campus racetrack, were ready to perform their duty.
The recently changed stakes had made the race even more interesting.
Of course, none of the guys was willing to take out Stacey for a ride in his race cart.
The track was lined with hay balls and other warrants of security.
No, those things did not provide any security at all. They just made the other pupils and the drivers believe in a certain degree of safety.
Nobody was willing to imagine the potential consequences of a hard accident, involving burning carts and crashes, and accidents caused by stray smithereens of crashed carts.
Logan sat proudly in his flashy and sparkling new cart. “It has only costed me some fifty thousand bucks. Well, at least, it isn’t junk, as opposed to …”
Quinn and Lola came along with Chase’s cart.
Logan’s eyes bucked out.
Chase explained, “Quinn Pensky is my engineer. She is responsible for the fine tuning.”
Logan protested, “some of the changes are against the rules!”
But there had not really been any rules concerning the construction of the race carts.
Lola Martinez smiled. She held a flag in her hands. She was chosen to start the race with it.
Finally, the carts were in their respective starting positions.
Chase and Logan awaited the impending start of the race.
Lola counted down, “five … four … three … two …”
The engines howled.
Dust was stirred all over the campus.
Stacey swallowed a cloud of smoke and fog. She had to inhale it completely. Due to the need of using crutch sticks, she had not been able to run away in time. She held a cotton swab model in her hands.
It was a sculpture of a race cart. She had thought it as the perfect award of the winner of the race.
Many exorbitantly sadistic onlookers cheered for either Chase or Logan.
Quinn Pensky wondered, “will Chase find the red button for the extra turbo boost?”
The noise was tripled withing a second, apparently from Chase’s car.
This answered Quinn’s question in an absolutely positive manner.
Stacey had now reached the final lane. She would thus be able to receive the glorious winner in time and pass him the most marvellous sculpture. She had worked so hard on it.
Due to the turbo booster, Chase’s speed had grown immensely.
Logan felt like being left standing on the race track. He cursed and spit.
But everything was for no avail.
Chase reached the final zone way before Logan, winning by a landslide.
Stacey smiled. She was now ready to render unto Chase what was lawfully Chase’s.
But where were the brakes?
Well, Chase found some.
But those did not do much.
Quinn Pensky had disabled the servo brakes in order to boost the turbo propulsion.
Stacey screamed like bit by a fury when seeing Chase come closer and closer.
But it was naturally impossible for her to move out of Chase’s way, especially with two crutch sticks and a cotton swab model of a race cart held tightly in her hands.
The inevitable had to happen.
Stacey Dillsen’s immobile body was sent flying across the meadow.
Her cotton swab construct was even worse off. It dropped to the macadamised layer, broke apart, and got all of is swabs outright flattened, barring some stray swabs.
Stacey Dillsen had finally regained her consciousness in the infirmary.
Her body was wretched all over.
All veins had been sundered and needed to be patched.
Her teeth were all shattered and needed to be replaced.
Her face was hard to recognise anymore.
This time, Dr. Hollywood took care of Stacey’s medium injuries. He wondered thoroughly, “how does Stacey always survive this?”
Quinn Pensky served Doc Hollywood as an assistant. She answered,
Stacey is just solid like a rock.
I will restore her face with some plastic surgery.
Stacey Dillsen forced herself into a smile. “Oh, really? Too bad my cotton swabs are not that tough.” She sobbed bitterly.
Dean Rivers should have expelled Logan and Chase for that unapproved cart race, even without the harmful accident.
Those races were highly dangerous.
The accident with Stacey Dillsen had just demonstrated this excruciating peril once again.
But Stacey did not want the boys to get punished for gettingher hurt. “Not getting the promised award for the victory, my wonderful cotton swab model, should be punishment enough.” She sobbed piteously.
Of course, Chase would have put the sculpture somewhere into some dark corner in order to avoid embarrassment.
Logan would have trashed it on site.
But Stacey did not care. “Someday. I will build the perfect cotton swab sculpture, admired by everyone.”
Quinn chuckled silently.
Was Stacey right?
Table of Contents
The regionals for Californian high school wrestling were around the corner.
Pacific Coast Academy had got a mediocre wrestling team.
Its coach was one complete idiot.
Most of its wrestlers weren’t any brighter.
Duke Blatzberg[duke blatzberg], the heavy weight of Pacific Coast Academy, was even worse. He was not even in a nice condition. He sweated like a cataract after one turn of combat.
But the coach was too dumb to notice.
Another jock polluting the team was Logan Reese, heartthrob of the cheerio girls. He was not in the team for any other reason.
Surprisingly, the complet idiot of a coach had also selected Zoey Brooks for the team.
This was a really strategic move.
Most wrestling jocks, in particular jerks like Logan Reese, would have refused to fight against girls.
Beating up girls was considered uncool by their stupid code.
Losing to a girl was considered excruciatingly shameful by those exorbitantly ruthless perverts and idiots.
Thus there was no way for a jerk to face a girl.
This way, Zoey would have passed most turns without a real combat, until the final.
Her opponent therein would have been Chuck Javers.
Chuck was one of the few wrestling bulls who was not a perverted jerk like Logan Reese. And he was stronger than ten professional wrestlers taken together. He could only be stopped by ramboes like Jackson Colt[jackson colt]
or Freighttrain[freighttrain]
. Ergo, he would not have had any qualms slamming Zoey through every wall.
But the plan was that of feigning an injury of Zoey right before the final match.
In this case, the coach would have replaced Zoey with Scott Ridgemond[scott ridgemont], another foolish jerk.
As a fresh fighter, Scott could have beaten a tired Chuck Javers, at least in the coach’s clouded mind.
Of course, Zoey would not have liked that stupid plan, and she would rather have got herself hurt badly instead of giving up for an injury.
How could such an idiot of a coach come up with such an idea?
It had not been his.
Indeed, Dean Rivers had talked him into doing so.
But this fact would not have become public without …
This year, the regionals were taking place in the gyms on the campus of Pacific Coast Academy.
Zoey was already very excited.
Stacey had been waiting all night long in front of the gym in order to be the first among the viewers. Having been turned down brutally by Logan and Vince, she tried her luck with a new crush.
And the victim was: Chuck Javers.
Stacey adored Chuck’s arms. “Aw… his arms!” All night long, she had been working on a cotton swab model of a wrestling ring.
The sculpture was planned as a gift for Chuck Javers.
Of course, Stacey would root against her own team, and even against Zoey. But she didn’t care.
What had her fellow “stingrays” ever done for her?
Really, being considered as a traitor would have been a totally minor evil after having been treated by her fellow students at Pacific Coast Academy like an outcast for several months.
Security guards opened the gym entrance.
Many students pressed into the hall.
Unfortunately, Stacey had to keep her sculpture safe. This way, she could not push as hard as the other students. Thus she was ultimately unable to make it into the front rows in order to be close to Chuck during his fights.
The battles started.
The stench of brute jocks filled the air.
Some students passed out from the filthy smell.
Zoey was ready for her first fight.
But the opponent withdrew for the above reasons.
Zoey wondered, “what is going on?”
Then Javers climbed the ring.
Stacey cheered fanatically, “Chuck! Chuck! Chuck!”
Her fellow students looked oddly at her.
During the following hours, Chuck mowed down his opponents like withered straws. In addition, he destroyed Quinn’s spectacles and drank Chase’s softdrink without asking.
This made him even less pupular in the arena.
But nothing like that was able to change Stacey’s excruciating enthusiasm.
The final battle was near.
The dumb coach signalled the injury of Zoey.
But there was none.
Zoey refused to play the coach’s idiotic game.
Truth spoken, Scott Ridgement would not have had a snowflake’s chance in the apocalyptic fire and brimstone even against a Chuck Javers with both arms tied to the back.
After a few minutes of confusion, Zoey was confirmed as the opponent of Chuck Javers.
Stacey Dillsen had abused the minutes of turmoil and mayhem in order to make it down to the ring, carrying — of course — her cotton swab model in her hands. She squealed for excessive enthusiasm,
Hi Chuck Chavers!
Your arms! Aw! Your arms!
I’m Stacey Dillsen from Swampscott in Massachusetts.
My sister Suzanne works as a nurse at St. Steve’s hospital in Mississippi.
I like sipping sassafras tea, staring at stars, and sculpting with swabs.
Please take this as a sign of my …
She rendered her model of the arena unto Chuck.
Alas, the wrestling machine was annoyed by Stacey’s lisp and her swabs. He roared like a lion.
Even Zoey was intimidated.
Stacey smiled. “Have fun with …”
But Chuck stomped his feet like an elephant and kicked the cotton swab model out of Stacey’s hands into the next corner. Then he grabbed Stacey by the waist and flang her into the same direction, head first.
The cotton swab queen screamed, “hey, Chuck, I may use other colours … if you prefer!”
But Chuck didn’t care.
Stacey crashed against the wall.
Her head’s impact was moderated by the bruised and squished swabs.
Now Stacey did stare at stars, but not those of the firmament, but on her retina.
Her world went dark again.
Stacey Dillsen woke up in the nearby hospital.
Her face was all bandaged and poulticed, just as usual.
Once more, Dr. Hollywood took care of her adamant skull. “Almost everyone else would have got his skull burst into smithereens.”
Zoey was visiting her. “Hi, Stacey!”
Stacey greeted Zoey back.
Zoey sighed. “Down to you, I’m now the regional champion … and all that without a single fight.”
Stacey was a bit dazed and did not understand.
Zoey explained,
After you’ve passed out, the umpire was about admonishing Chuck Javers for not sticking to the exact rules of behaviour.
Chuck Javers got upset. He thought to be endowed to behave the way he wanted to. Then he started wreaking havoc everywhere around.
Even I got a few scratches.
She showed Stacey a minor skin injury.
This was of course nothing compared to the things suffered by Stacey Dillsen.
Zoey continued,
Now panic seized the whole gym, staff, onlookers, and athletes alike.
Everyone had to run for his life.
Many kids stomped over you on their way out.
Only Lola’s little sister Shelby[shelby marx]
could finally stop Chuck … first with a punch, and then with a kiss! Too bad she’s too young for participating in high school contests.
Dr. Hollywood treated some shoe imprint in Stacey’s butt cheeks.
Stacey squealed.
Dr. Hollywood had to use some injection in order to relax Stacey. He used a power syringe invented by Quinn Pensky.
Stacey screamed even more. But then she tired down pretty fast.
Zoey shuddered for excessive disgust.
Anyways, yesterday, the umpire had decided to disqualify Chuck Javers for all his havoc.
And now I’m the winner.
Dustin walked in, holding a huge cup in his brittle arms. “Zoey’s!” He smiled proudly.
Zoey ruffled her little brother’s hair gently. “So, thanks for giving me the unique chance to win the contest, even at the cost of your …”
Stacey moaned,
aw … it is not all that bad.
I am accustomed to getting everything bruised and broken.
But Chuck has broken my cotton swab model of a wrestling ring.
And it would have been a gift for him.
She started weeping.
Stacey’s tears soaked the bandages.
Dr. Hollywood had to change them again. “It really isn’t worth for Stacey to heal again between two accidents.”
Zoey panted. “Probably!”
Stacey was now wrapped in fresh linen tissues.
Zoey suggested, “maybe you should just not stick to jocks, even those who ain’t jerks like Logan Reese.”
Stacey sighed bitterly.
Zoey had got an idea. “You should participate in a show like … I win a date with Stacey.”
Stacey gasped. “What? Such a show exists?”
Zoey shrugged. “Michael and Chase ran their own web show, last year.[chase and michael show] They could resume it in order to give it a try.”
Stacey smiled.
But was Zoey’s plan really going to work out?
Did she actually even believe in it?
Unbeknownst to anyone, Zoey had heard some strange concersation between the wrestling coach and Dean Rivers after the combat. What would she make of them?
[duke blatzberg] identifies Duke from iCarly : iHatch Chicks with Blatzberg from Zoey 101 : Wrestling
[jackson colt] from iCarly : iLook Alike
[freighttrain] occasional cameos in Big Time Rush
[scott ridgemont] only in Zoey 101 : Wrestling
[shelby marx] from iCarly : iFight Shelby Marx
[chase and michael show] from Zoey 101 : Broadcast Views
Table of Contents
A year ago, Michael and Chase had started a web show on the campus, known as the Chase and Michael Show.
Granted , this was a totally lame choice of a name.
And the show had not been any less lame, at least in the beginning.
Chase and Michael had performed idiotic gestures. They had also shown a few cartoons of their own production.
This had changed due to some bitter argument between Zoey and Logan about boys and girls occurring in the background of one session of the show.
The viewers had wanted to see more of those.
Chase and Michael had made a daily dispute between Logan and Zoey a permanent segment of the show.
Unfortunately, the controversy of the topics argued by Logan and Zoey were detrimental to the peace on the campus.
Viewers had continued litigating even during classes.
Dean Rivers had thereupon forbidden the continuation of the show.
Zoey Brooks had not been content with the censorship. She had organised a public mass protest against the autocratic headmaster.
The show was thence allowed to continue.
But Chase and Michael had restricted themselves to toons.
At the end of the academic year, they had applied at Toon Juice, a web show publishing amateurs’ toons. They got accepted at the beginning of the current academic year.[toon juice acceptance]
This event had stripped the web show of its last remaining purose.
But now there was a new one.
Stacey Dillsen was back from hospital after having been tormented badly. But she still needed to stay in her dormitory room for most of the time.
Chase, Zoey, and Michael walked in.
Zoey remarked, “is this a dormitory room? It looks like a dungeon cell or a janitor’s closet.”
Stacey sobbed.
Chase and Michael tried to operate the web cam and the microphone.
Quinn had explained the usage of those tools unto the guys.
But they argued on and off about the exact meaning of Quinn’s nerdy instructions.
Zoey Brooks could not help but call for Quinn Pensky.
The arguments between Chase and Michael became worse and worse.
Zoey was hardly able to stop them.
The geek girl arrived like five minutes later.
Chase and Michael stopped bickering.
Quinn explained,
oh you nubs, I’ve told you, it’s so easy.
You just need to put the red plug into the green socket, where there is now a blue plug, although, usually, there should be a pink one. And then you need to push the white button until the green light appears at the backside of the camera. Now you crank the wheel at the left-hand side of the apparatius counterclockwise, and that on the other end clockwise, and not vice versa!
Chase’s and Michael’s straw-filled skulls started hurting as if hit by a glowing hammer.
Finally, the web session started.
Chase greeted the viewers. “Today, we start with a totally new, but, or so I hope, very popular segment: Win a date!”
Michael continued, “see, there are so many singles at our school, the Pacific Coast Academy. And they deserve a chance, too.”
Chase continued, “so, if you are a single here at Pacific Coast Academy, you may apply for being a guest in our show.”
Michael continued,
yeah, just as Chase has just said it.
And today, we’ve got our first guest.
Her name is Stacey Dillsen.
Chase got Stacey to smile into the web cam.
Stacey’s face still hurt a bit from the last “accident”.
Her smile appeared thus a bit unnatural.
Chase told Stacey to tell a bit about herself.
Stacey nodded.
My name is Stacey Dillsen.
I come from Swampscott in the state of Massachusetts.
My sister Suzanne works as a nurse at St. Steve’s hospital in Mississippi.
I love sipping sassafras tea.
My hobbies are acrobatics, astronomy, visual arts, and woodshop.
I would love to build my log house with my own hands, one day.
But dad thinks girls are too weak for that.
So I’ve started building things with cotton swabs and white glue.
Zoey took one of the cotton swab sculptures built by Stacey Dillsen and exhibited it for the web cam.
Stacey explained,
this is a model of the astronomical observatory of our school, Pacific Coast Academy.
I like staring at stars in the sky, especially Sirius and Saturn.
She still suffered form her penetrant lisp and was thus not exactly easy to understand.
Zoey summarised Stacey’s words in a more comprehensible manner.
Chase concluded. “Thanks, Stacey!”
The cotton swab queen smiled.
Michael started explaining, “so, if you are a lonely boy out on the campus of Pacific Coast Academy, or not too far from here, maybe somehwere in southern California …”
Chase continued, “and if you like cotton swab arts, and gazing at stars up in the firmament, …”
Michael resumed, “and if you enjoy a lisping goirls’ voice …” He shuddered for disgust.
Chase concluded, “then you should not hesitate and send a reply to … where to?”
Quinn sighed deeply. She had oerdered a domain for the show and she was maintaining the design of the web site. She mentioned the ways to contact The Chase And Michael Show, “Don’t forget to add a line ‘Date with Stacey!’”
Chase nodded solemnly. “The next canditate will be Beverly[beverly]
, the secretary of Dean Rivers.”
Michael continued, “we see us again next week, same time, same place, same face.”
Megan Parker, a middle school girl from San Diego and friend of Ashley Blake, turned her lap top off.
Ashley Blake had told her about The Chase and Michael Show. She had deemed it lame.
But Megan deemed it better to watch with her own eyes and listen with her own ears. She was not alone in her room.
Wendy Gellar had been Megan’s best friend for over a year. She had once been at Pacific Coast Academy.[wendy at pca].
Dustin Brooks, the little brother of Zoey, had hit on Wendy.
But she had ignored him, even worse, laughed about him.
This had broken Dustin’s heart.
Wendy had got one reason for that. She was totally addicted to Drake Parker, the elder brother of Megan.
Drake was a rock idol of the most important sort. At the age of fifteen, he had started fascinating the masses at a concert as a substitute for renowned Devin Malone.[devin malone] and inebriated the hearts and minds of thousands of new fangirls. He had also been popular at Pacific Coast Academy and given a concert there, not much after his discovery by Devin Malone.[drake at pca]
One of Drake’s fangirls of the first hour had been Wendy Gellar.
She had been totally lovesick.
Drake had never really appreciated her feelings, although once he feigned writing a song for her.
But that “song” had been totally lame.
Ever since, Wendy had been obsessed with the thought of showing Drake “you can’t even live without me!”
Her means of achieving this was that of learning the production of high quality rock music.
She had already come a long way in two years.
Megan sighed.
Which normal boy would want to date a girl like Stacey?
She lisps and is obsessed with cotton swabs.
Wendy shrugged.
Megan grinned.
I would love to see Stacey have a crush on Drake and stalk him to no end.
Drake would just laugh about her like crazy.
She chuckled mercilessly.
Wendy turned upset. “Don’t ever dare to do that!” She grabbed Megan and pinned her to the floor.
Megan choked and coughed. “Wendy! What are you doing?”
Wendy’s wrath was hard to tame.
She only calmed down after ten minutes.
Megan panted heavily. “But there are some other boys worthy of her …” In the first moment, she thought about her dorkish step-brother Joshuah Nichols. But then she came to ponder about someone even easier to fool.
It was Eric Blonowitz, the stereotyopial nerd friend of Drake and Josh.
Megan did not hesitate any longer and start signing up Eric for a date with Stacey.
Several days later, Chase and Michael went through the reactions to their last session.
There had been quite a few of them.
But no boy had registered for a date with Stacey.
There was only one note from some viewer named M.P. mentioning one Eric B. as “potentially interested.”
Megan just had to trick Eric into showing up.
Stacey was disappointed. She had expected a bunch of boys coming for her in an uttermost enthusiastic manner. Now she had to weep again.
Chase sighed. “Will that go well?”
[toon juice acceptance] cf. Zoey 101 : Chase’s Girlfriend
[beverly] various cameos throughout Zoey 101
[wendy at pca] This identifies her with an unportrayed Wendy mentioned in Zoey 101 : Lola Likes Chase
[devin malone] cf. Drake & Josh : The Guitar
[drake at pca] cf. Zoey 101 : Spring Fling
This identifies Drake Parker with same actor’s autonymous rôle.
Table of Contents
It was time for the first visit of Eric Blonowitz to the campus of Pacific Coast Academy.
He was not aware of it being a blind date. He had been informed about a cool telescope used for astronomical observations. Eric would have killed for a better astronomical observatory than that at San Diego Belleview.
Lola Martinez was annoyed. “Do I really have to do this?”
Zoey nodded solemnly. “It is for Stacey.”
Lola glared for disgust.
Zoey explained, “come on, with a boyfriend, she will stop annoying everyone else with her cotton swabs sculptures.”
Lola choked. “Do you really think so?”
Zoey nodded. “She won’t have got that much time left. Maybe she even moves off the campus for him. Who knows?”
Lola started smiling subtly. “Oh, hey! That would not be that bad. Honestly, I like that idea!”
Zoey nodded merrily. “I knew you’d appreciate that kind of concept.”
Lola beamed brightly.
Zoey looked at her wrist watch. “Eric is expected to arrive at the drop site in ten minutes. And nerds use to be very picky when it comes down to exact dates.”
Lola moaned, “yeah, I know it from Quinn.”
The girls had to hurry up.
Chase would have fetched Eric. But he was too much under pressure.
His longest assignment of the year was due in a few days.
In addition, his birthday was around the corner.
His favourite grandmother was to celebreate her own birthday the same day of the year, but of course with many years inbetween.
Chase wondered about his birthday party.
The gang would certainly organise something surprising.
But the assignment held him ball and chain.
For his grandmother, Chase had planned something special.
Stacey Dillsen was making a sculpture of Chase, made of cotton swabs and carpenter’s glue.
He had never made anyone a comparable gift.
Chase’s friends of his own generation would have been upset by such a sculpture.
But his grandmother basically liked all sorts of gift when coming from Chase’s heart.
As a younger kid, Chase had often been in need of being comforted by his grannie. And he had started missing her badly since his departure from the northeastern corner of the United States to dreamy California.
Eric >Blonowitz had heard about the great club for astronomy at Pacific Coast Academy.
Truth spoken, there was not yet such a club at this school.
The only member would probably have been Stacey Dillsen.
Granted, nerds like Miles Brody[miles brody], Quinn Pensky, and Wayne “firewire” Gilbert might have been interested, too. But they had got better things to do.
Lola and Zoey guided him across the campus.
Eric asked, “Lola, would you mind going to a date with me?”
Lola puked her guts loose.
Zoey patted Lola. “Come on, just a few minutes more.”
Lola just replied, “no, sorry!”
Eric asked Zoey the same.
The blond Mary Sue shook her head. “I’ve already got a date.”
Lola asked, “really? With whom?”
Zoey poked Lola subtly.
Of course there was no such date.
Finally, they reached the door.
Zoey knocked. “Stacey?”
The door opened. “Hello?”
Lola explained, “there we are. This is the captain of our club for astronomy.”
Stacey grinned.
Hello, my name is Stacey Dillsen.
I come from Swampscott in Massachusetts.
My sister Suzanne works as a nurse in St. Steve’s hospital in Mississippi.
Her lisp was penetrant as usual.
Eric shrugged. “Hi Stacey! So you like watching stars?”
Stacey grinned. “My telescope is my best friend besides my cotton swabs and my carpernter’s glue.”
Eric looked at Stacey’s sculpture. “Wow! What’s this?”
Stacey explained, “this is a sculpture of Chase Bartholomew Matthews. It is a birthday gift for his grandmom.”
Eric smiled.
Oh, my sister Maureen[maureen blonowitz] has got birthday, somewhen this year.
I still have to find a gift.
Lola and Zoey had snuck away in the meantime.
Stacey sighed. “Sorry for my lisp.”
Eric didn’t care.
See, my sister Maureen has got a very hairy back due to some capillar inflammation.
Many guys make fun of her for that.
Stacey speculated,
Quinn may invent a medication against this. She’s an inventor.
Her inventions are known as “Quinnventions”.
Eric admitted,
That sounds interesting.
But where is the telescope?
Stacey sighed.
Oh, my telescope! It is in that corner.
I will get it after completeing the nose of Chase Matthews.
The hardest part will be his hair. Chase’s hair is very bushy, you know.
Eric grinned. “Cool!”
Stacey picked up a cotton swab and applied a drop of glue to it. Then she attached it to the rest. “One Mississippi, two Mississipi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi, five …” She sighed.
OK, that is enough.
It’s necessary to take care of the time.
Glue takes its time to become solid.
I really wanted to work in a woodshop.
But dad doesn’t allow me to.
Do you like woodshop?
Eric shrugged. “I am more into welding and soldering, you know, wires and stuff.”
Stacey shrugged. “Cool!” She attached another cotton swab.
OK, this and the next one, and the nose will hold.
Then I may take a break.
Eric sighed.
A minute later, Stacey grabbed her telescope. She told Eric some of the details like focus and fine tuning.
Eric smiled.
I had one at home.
But my friend Craig has ruined it last summer.
Stacey sighed. “That must have hurt.”
Eric nodded sadly.
Stacey asked,
Tonight, the moon is said to be particularly bright.
I can’t wait to see that.
Eric smiled. “May I come with you?”
Stacey smiled. “yeah, of course!”
Zoey Brooks had planned a particular gift for Chase’s seventeenth birthday. She had contacted his grandmother.
The old lady lived across the continent. She had agreed on coming to Malibu for her grandson’s birthday. This way, she would also see the sculpture and then be able to take it home with herself.
Her brother Dustin had got different problems.
His arm was stuck in a vendor machine.
Lola had paid for some candy bar and got nothing in return.
Dustin had tried to fetch the bar in order to impress the excruciatingly hot little drama queen. But he paid dearly for his attempt.
Stacey and Eric passed by, looking for the best place to watch the stars.
Dustin whimpered.
Quinn had promised to free Dustin, using heavy machines and industrial grease.
Stacey moaned for disgust. “Industrial grease is so sticky.”
Eric moaned,
I could try to free him with a metal burner.
The same thing is used for welding and soldering.
Quinn shrugged. “Maybe the custodian has got something like that.”
Unfortunately, they needed to get Dustin and the whole machine to some safe place.
Otherwise they would get caught and suspended, expelled, deported.
Lola called Vince Blake in order to carry the machine to a better place, along with Dustin.
Quinn had actually found the necessary tools in the custodian’s closet.
Eric was now ready to burn a hole into the evil machine.
Dustin whimpered. “That stinks!”
Lola took some mint spray in order to make it easier for Dustin.
The little bugger whimpered, anyways.
But, finally, Eric had burnt a hole around Dustin.
This allowed the little bugger to remove his arm.
He sighed for relief. “Naughty mchine! I hate you!”
Eric welded the cut tin back to the torso of the machine, making it look like new.
Quinn and Lola had to use some squirting paint for the latter avail, though.
But the operation had been successful.
Stacey and Eric could now leave and watch the stars.
The next morning started with dismay.
Grandma had not been able to come to Pacific Coast Academy.
Her health had not allowed for this.
But Chase would send her the sculpture.
The party would happen, anyways.
They had agreed on a pyjama party.
Stacey was invited, too.
But the party went awry.
Chase had to leave prematurely.
The reason was a grisly one.
His grandma had died a few hours ago.
This was too much for Chase to bear.
But it was also a very sad moment for Stacey.
She had invested many hours of work into the sculpture of Chase.
And now his grandma would never be able to see the gift.
Stacey would lock herself into her dorm for several days and refuse to eat and to talk.
Megan Parker had heard about Chase’s misery. She had decided to send her friend Addie Singer upon Chase.
Three years ago, Addie had lost a favourite grandaunt. She was sure able to help Chase getting over it.
Eric appeared on the campus for the next weekend, ready to watch stars with Stacey.
But the cotton swab queen was still in a piteous state.
Eric took her into her arms.
Come on!
Let’s watch a few stars together.
That will help.
Stacey moaned, “really?”
Eric took her telescope. He could tell many stories about the stars.
Stacey liked to listen. “Hey, that’s cool!”
Eric gasped. “Come on! Wishing stars!”
Stacey joined in.
There they were …
Stacey’s eyes bugged out.
Both of them wished silently to be always together in a few years.
Would their wish come true?
[miles brody] from Zoey 101 : Robot Wars
[maureen blonowitz] mentioned in Drake & Josh : Eric punches Drake
Table of Contents
Lola Martinez was always practising for one or the other audition. This time, she was about trying out for a short movie named Scream Of Innocence, a movie produced by no other than Malcolm Reese. She had to compete with Ashley Blake.
This was not really easy.
Lola had to scream a lot for that practice.
Some hitherto unbeknownst Danny[danny]
was startling upon the squeal and stumbling into Zoey and Lola.
Danny and Zoey were agreeing on a date for the evening in the campus cinema.
At the same time, Quinn was worried about her official boyfriend Mark del Figgalo cheating on her with a girl named Maria Misa[maria misa]. She was horribly jealous.
This drained her concentration a lot.
Thence Quinn slipped during an experiment with mutant bacteria.
A vial slipped and tilted.
Potentially dangerous germs were released.
Quinn had to alert the authority for biological hazards.
“Brenner Hall” had to be quarantined.
While Zoey, Lola, and Quinn, just as later on Logan, Chase, and Michael, were now locked into the dormitory room, all other kids had to leave the building.
This made it also impossible for the lawful inhabitants of “Brenner Hall” to return to their dormitory places before the cancellation of the red alert.
Like many other girls, Stacey Dillsen was thus locked out.
Most of the girls of “Brenner Hall” were now forced to look for another place to stay for the night.
This was not always a problem, at least not for the popular girls.
For example, Lisa Perkins could find a dormitory place about anywhere. Actually, she moved in with Millie[millie], an elementary school girl tutored by Lisa.
But Stacey Dillsen was way less lucky. She found her nose squished by all doors shut brtutally in front of her face. “Hello, is there a spott for a nice fellow student of Pacific Coast Academy with a beautiful sculpture of the Parthenon of Athens?”
Things were turning even worse for Stacey.
She had started said new cotton swab sculpture and was carrying it all over the campus.
The sculpture was incomplete.
Stacey would have needed more swabs and more glue in order to continue.
But those materials were now in her dormitory room, inaccessible until the expiration of the red alert.
Stacey sobbed piteously. She staggered carelessly across the campus.
Unfortunately, Eric Blonowitz was in San Diego during the whole week.
Thus calling him was no option.
Desperate Stacey staggered left and right.
Crash!
An incomplete cotton swab model was sent flying.
Stacey squealed for terror, even worse than Lola Martinez.
The opponent in her collision was Dustin Brooks. He squealed equally at the top of his lungs.
It took them three minutes for calming down.
Dustin accused Stacey. “Hey! I have to spy on Mark and Maria for Quinn.” He explained the reasons. Dustin sighed. “Then Zoey told me to tell a certain Danny about the cancellation of their date. Zoey is locked in her dorm and can’t go to cinema.”
Stacey was collecting the smithereens of her unfinished sculpture. “Hey! I’ve got an idea! I may spy on Mark and Maria, so you can obey to your sister’s commands.”
Dustin smiled. “That’s cool!”
Stacey grunted,
of course it will cost you!
I need a place for the night to stay.
Dustin understood Stacey’s concern. “OK! You may sleep in the bath tub in our toilet rooms.”
Stacey screamed for excitement.
Yeah! Have you heard this, my cotton swabs?
We have found a room for the night!
Dustin grinned. He could now look out for “Danny”. He had not got a clue about his appearance besides “being totally cute”, in Zoey’s terms.
Stacey slouched along and found Mark and Maria entering Sushi Rox.
Stacey snuck behind one of the unoccupied tables.
Mark del Figgalo and Maria Misa had taken seats.
Maria stared dreamily deep into Mark’s eyes.
Mark did nothing about it.
Stacey could not watch any longer. She panted heavily nand walked up to them. “Mark! Maria! What are you doing here?”
Mark grunted, “Maria wants to hear my opinion about her upcoming presentation in literature.”
Stacey thundered,
bleh! Not even my sister Suzanne would believe your lies.
You are abusing Quinn’s situation shamelessly in order to cheat on her.
Maria looked aghast.
Stacey was unstoppable. “And you aree now sure going to offer her generously a place in your dormitory room over night, because she is locked out due to some bacteria.”
Maria was flabbergasted. “Mark?”
The apathetic dweeb did not really react or answer.
Stacey grabbed a bottle of soy sauce, removed the cap, and poured its contents all over the head of Mark del Figgalo. “Take this, you heartbreaker!”
The soy sauce started running down Mark’s face and cheeks.
Maria asked, “Mark, are you really up to …”
Mark did not react or listen to Maria’s concerns.
One drop of Shoyu reached his lips and the top of his tongue.
Mark declared, “I hate soy sauce!”
Maria started wiping Mark dry with some large napkin, in a more or less painful manner. But then she walked away. “What a jerk!”
Stacey was already on her way out. She was ready to report unto Quinn,
Mark is such a terrible jerk and dandy. He was going to offer a place in his dormitory room.
I would never have thought that.
Sorry, Quinn!
Quinn sobbed piteously for being heartbroken.
Stacey’s night in the bath tub had been terrible.
Now she had to leave before the arrival of the boys for their morning showers. She snuck out.
Dustin greeted her. “Hey, Stacey! How was spying on Mark?”
Stacey reported her adventures.
Dustin sighed.
I would never have expected that from Mark.
Sorry for Quinn!
Well, I have found Danny.
Stacey sighed. “Is he really cute?”
Dustin replied,
So and so … but he’s a terrible jerk and dandy.
Zoey should be glad for having missed out on the date.
I had told him about the quarantine.
He refused to believe it and just switched to the next girl in the cue.
Stacey moaned, “what a pervert!”
Quinn’s bacteria had been officially deemed harmless.
Thus the quarantine was now terminated.
Quinn would never talk again to Mark. She did not believe his version.
According to Mark, Maria was just trying to draw a picture of him as a gift for Quinn.
But there was no reason for believing him.
Zoey was of course totally upset.
Stacey was now up to continuing the work on her sculpture and happy for having saved Quinn from future disappointments.
[danny] cameo in Zoey 101 : Quarantine
[maria misa] Maria from Zoey 101 : Quarantine
The surname is from same actress’s rôle in third-party owned show J O N A S.
[millie] cameo in Zoey 101 : Roller Coaster
Table of Contents
The academic year was rushing towards its end.
It was already spring time in California.
The pupils started enjoying the longer lasting daylight.
It was the time for outdoor parties even past seven o’clock post meridiem.
Stacey strolled the campus, carrying a model of her next summer camp with her. She stumbled across Chase Bartholomew Matthews.
As usual, her cotton swab sculpture burst into smithereens.
Chase had been carrying a parcel. He had fetched it from the post office of Pacific Coast Academy. He appeared overly excited for it.
It was dropped upon the collision.
The swabs had fortunately moderated the impact, preventing Chase’s parcel from getting smashed.
Stacey sobbed.
Chase sighed for relief. “Sorry!”
Stacey was accustomed to things like these happening.
Chase unwrapped the parcel. “I so want a new G.O. I hope it is unscathed.”
A G.O. was a portable electronic device for storing and displaying large music files.
Chase had been looking for an upgraded, improved version for quite some time.
The new G.O. costed some hundreds bucks.
Chase could not afford that much at ease. He had thusly decided to beg his grandfather Joe for the bucks.
Joe was not the husband of Chase’s recently deceased grandmother, but from the other side of the family tree.
But the parcel promised more: Not just the money, but a new G.O. in person.
Alas, he had to be disappointed:
The parcel had not contained a brand new G.O., but an old radio set[old radio]
.
A note said something to the avail of “That’s all I had got for entertainment as a teenager. It should be enough for you!”
Chase sighed for excruciating dismay. “What do I want to do with such an old crap thing?”
Stacey sighed. “Hey! It’s a great motif for a cotton swab sculpture!”
Chase looked puzzled.
Stacey sighed.
I had once made a sculpture of a car from the first world war.
But then my sister Suzanne, the nurse working at St. Steve Hospital in Mississippi, ran over it and made it burst into smithereens.
Chase sighed. “OK! Ten bucks, and the crap is yours!”
Stacey looked at her wallet. “OK! Ten nice star bucks!” She rendered the bank note unto Chase Matthews.
Chase nodded solemnly. “Thanks! I don’t like getting reminded of grandad Joe’s taunting deed..”
Stacey nodded solemnly.
Stacey Dillsen had bought an extra family package of cotton swabs and a new bucket of white carpenter’s glue. She was now sitting in her dormitory cube in order to start with the preparations.
The package of swabs was ripped open.
But she wanted to tell Eric about her new motif. Stacey picked her cellular telephone. Then she started typing Eric Blonowitz’s long number. She was totally excited.
Eric picked up the phone. “Blonowitz … oh hi, Stacey!”
The cotton swab queen beamed proudly. “Hi Eric! You won’t guess it. I’ve bought a perfect motif for my next sculpture.”
Eric smiled. “That’s cool! So, what is it?”
Stacey replied, “It’s an old radio, maybe from the second world war, or so.”
Eric smiled. “That sounds interesting! What model of a radio is it?”
Stacey took the radio set into her hands. She moved it forth and back. “Here it reads ‘Model Fada’.”
Eric gasped. “Are you sure? A Fada?”
Stacey sighed. She controlled it twice.
But there was no doubt left.
Eric panted heavily. “Do you know what it means?”
Stacey was not sure. “It’s damn’ old?”
Eric shook his head. “It is old, but there are much older models. The real significance of the Fada is its rare material, cataline.”
Stacey had never heard of it.
Eric explained,
During the wars and the repression, many raw materials usually used for electronic devices were rationed and hardly available for one of the other reason.
Attempts had been made to replace them.
Cataline is just one of them. It was not used much, as it was just a temporary emergency solution.
After all, not many electronic devices using this material are still around.
Collectors of things old are just hunting like crazy after those.
Stacey squealed. “Really?”
Eric nodded.
Several thousands of bucks are probably in it.
I would love to add it to my collection of streange old devices. I have learned to build radio sets from scratch, using old, defunct devices.
But the Fada strikes deep awe into my heart, really!
Stacey squealed.
Eric had to leave. “See you next weekend, sweetheart!”
Stacey was totally surprised and puzzled. She could not have talked for much longer.
Her words were stuck in her jaw.
Basically, she was holding thousands of bucks in her hands.
Then again, it had costed her only ten bucks.
And Chase had not known about its value.
Stacey was showing remorses.
It sounded totally unfair keeping the device.
Stacey pondered seriously giving it back.
Chase was still upset by his grandfather’s evil deed. Now he needed to work more in order to make the bucks for the new G.O. He sighed deeply.
Stacey crossed his way. This time, she held no cotton swab model in her hands. But she appeared totally excited.
Chase looked puzzled. “How’s your sculpture coming along?”
Stacey sighed. “Not much yet. But I have to give the radio buck to you.”
Chase grunted, “no way! I hate grandpa Joe and don’t want to get reminded, ever!”
Stacey squealed,
The radio set is worth thousands of bucks, maybe.
Eric told me. He is collecting old electronic devices.
Chase gasped, “thousands of bucks?”
Michael growled, “yeah, render unto Chase what is Chase’s!”
Stacey sighed.
I don’t dare to touch it any longer.
You need to fetch it from my dungeon cell.
Michael grunted, “oh yes, he will!”
Chase sighed deeply. “I’ve already added the ten bucks to my piggy bank for the savings for the G.O.” He was dismayed by the thought of having to smash it just in order to give the bucks back to Stacey.
The cotton swab freak moaned, “oh well … maybe some day.”
Logan Reese had been passing by and overheard the situation.
Stacey is too weak. She will never make it anywhere.
You don’t give things back you’ve purchased correctly.
Stacey sighed. “Jerk!”
Logan growled, “That’s life! Only losers worry about fairness.” He walked away.
Stacey shook her head.
Chase thought about the money. He would have been able to buy more than just one G.O. from it, without having to drudge his sore butt off for “Sushi Rox”. But wouldn’t he have cheated on his grandad as well? He had to inform the old wanker about the real value of the gift.
Stacey carried the model of Chase’s radio across the campus.
Wayne “Firewire” Gilbert walked up to her. “Is that an old radio?”
Stacey nodded solemnly. “It’s a very rare Fada model!”
Wayne cackled.
Cool! Zoey had onec got a Fada, like, two years ago.
But it has disappeared since quite a few times.
Stacey choked. “Wow! That one here is from Chase’s grandpa Joe.” She sighed deeply.
“What an accident!”
Wayne cackled in a creepy manner.
Indeed! Those Fada models are so rare …
I wonder what happened to Zoey’s.
Stacey picked up her cellular phone in order to call Zoey.
The blond Mary Sue picked it up. “Zoey Brooks?”
Stacey started talking, in her usually annoying manner, about her radio, model Fada, and its high value.
I have to give it back to Chase’s grandpa.
But what happened to your old Fada?
Wayne still remembers it.
You could sell it, too, and give Chase the bucks for a new G.O.
Waybe Gilbert cackled mercilessly.
Zoey went pale.
But this was not audible across the ether.
Of course, Zoey was not able to talke freely. After a few minutes, she admitted,
It is my Fada, indeed!
I had interceived Chase’s parcel.
It was empty.
So I put the Fada into it.
It should remind him of the youth of his deceased grandma.
She stammered wildly, unable to continue talking.
Zoey got her old Fada back. But she did not want to sell it.
Eric had found a collector named Spencer Shay willing to pay fifteen thousands of bucks for it.
Zoey was just deeply disappointed by Chase’s inability of appreciating a gift like this, regardless from whom, but thinking about his stupid G.O.
Stacey’s cotton swab model of the Fada was now ready. It would never sell for thousands of bucks. But maybe it would be a step towards getting recognised as one of the greatest sculptors alive.
[old radio] The radio from Zoey 101 : The Radio is identified with that of the same model with a cameo appearance in Zoey 101 : New Roomies.
Table of Contents
Stacey Dillsen’s summer camp had been a hell of fun.
But the new academic year was probably going to spell chaos.
Eric Blonowitz had got good news. He was selected by the administration of Pacific Coast Academy as the new adviser for the clubs for astronomy and the botanic garden.
This was just a part time job, though.
Thence Eric would not live on the campus or be able to see Stacey every day of the week. He would just make it usually twice a week.
But that was better than the “every other weekend” dates of the last months of the year passed by.
The waiting queues in front of the coffee cart had been growing longer and longer since the start of the year.
This was probably due to the necessary repairs of the frequently malfunctioning vendor machines.
A new sort of coffee, javaccino, had been introduced, making the kids more curious.
In addition, Calvin[calvin]
, the coffee cart vendor, was a ruthless jerk flirting with female customers on and off, delaying the sales of coffee even more.
But there was one back door.
The “customer of the week” was not required to wait in the endless queue, and even endowed to gratis javaccino.
But what were the criteria for getting selected as the customer of the week?
Nobody really knew them.
But many kids tried hard to comply, anyways.
Stacey Dillsen, for example, wanted to make a cotton swab model of the coffee cart.
Logan relied on classical bribery. He bought a whole bunch of javaccionos and distributed them among the kids, raising the sales numbers.
Michael hired someone to act as a psycho and threaten Calvin’s cart. Then he “rescued” Calvin and the coffee cart.
Unfortunately, some infortunate passerby got injured in the process.
Stacey had also tried out for a rôle in a play.
But her lisp got her rejected on site.
This made Stacey’s mood plummet into the cellar like a lump of granite.
Fortunately, Eric was now there for her. He remarked,
my friend Craig has recently discovered a new web show by a few kids from Seattle.
It is totally funny!
Stacey squealed. She wanted to see the web show. But before everything else, she had to await the outcome of the selections for the customer of the week.
Alas, this was very disappointing.
Calvin had just been making fun of Stacey’s wonderful sculpture of the coffe cart.
The work of art ended in the trash bin after only five seconds.
Stacey needed to weep for four hours straight.
Calvin would always choose hot girls as a customer of the week, expecting to make out with them while letting the other customers rot in the queue.
But now it was time for Stacey to see her first edition of the web show.
The show’s host was Carly Shay, little sister of aforementioned Spencer Shay. She was helped by her friends Samantha Puckett and Fredward Benson.
Bad girl Sam Puckett had once been a student at Pacific Coast Academy but for three weeks only until getting expelled due to the intervention of overprotective Zoey Brooks.
Today, Carly showed a video clip of Lewbert, the evil doorman of Bushwell Plaza in Seattle, Carly’s home.
The ugly mess dared to steal candy off little children and to bark at puppies. He was also proud of a totally disgusting wart in his face.
Carly pulled a phone prank on the dweeb, making him go over the edge.
Stacey had to laugh endlessly, forgetting about all the recent troubles.
It was time for another session of Carly’s web show.
Eric and Stacey were already totally excited.
As of recent, Carly had sensed the need for increasing the number of viewers, especially in Seattle.
Carly and Sam had been waiting with hand-painted advertisement banners in front of the windows of a studio recording a popular tv show in Seattle TV
But, unfortunately, it had started to rain.
The paint was not water proof.
That was a fiasco.
The boys, viz. Freddie and Spencer, had got another idea.
Spencer had installed a digital adverisement panel over one of the main high ways of downtown Seattle.
The panel’s text asked the bypassing traffic to click on Carly’s web site.
But too mnay car drivers got awfully distracted.
There were quite a few crashes.
Spencer tried to stop the panel. But he only got some letters to go dark.
The remaining letters were now reading “Pee On Carl!”.
Stacey laughed fanatically. She walked to the window and cried all over the campus, “Pee on Carl!”
Many students chimed in, without knowing the reason.
Unfortunately, “Carl” was also the first name of Dean Rivers.
Spencer would be arrested by the cops of Seattle, especiallly by one “Officer Carl”[officer carl], but released thereafter.
During the next hours, Dean Rivers got covered over and over with the piss of bypassing students. He was now in a really stinky mood. He gathered the students of the whole Pacific Coast Academy on the campus square. “What is going on here?”
The students did not really know.
Dean Rivers threatened to expel all of them in the case of another case of this sort. “And if this happens again and nobody fesses up, you will be all grounded for the rest of the year!”
Many students were now frightened, especially those having taken Stacey’s words “Pee on Carl!” literally.
Thus Stacey decided to admit to her screams in the office of the headmaster.
Stacey regretted having caused the whole trouble. She had explaine d the reasons.
Dean Rivers was little pleased. But due to seeing it as a big misunderstanding, he did not decide on suspending and expelling Stacey Dillsen.
But there had to be some sort of punishment.
Stacey was forced to clean the still smelly campus.
This was quite some humiliating task.
But, even worse, watching Carly’s web show was now illegal on the campus.
This would be a bigger problem for many students.
The web show had turned very fast quite popular.
This was also down to Melanie Puckett[melanie puckett]
, the twin sister of co-moderator Samantha Puckett and popular student at Pacific Coast Academy.
Would the mass of fans of the show living at Pacific Coast Academy, especially Stacey Dillsen, find a way to circumvent or put an end to the ban?
[calvin] from Zoey 101 : Dance Contest
[officer carl] cameo in iCarly : iWant More Viewers
[melanie puckett] cf. iCarly : iTwins
Q
Table of Contents
Stacey was busy with a bunch of cotton swabs and white glue for a project in history.
Oh, yeah, it was not for art classes.
Stacey Dillsen was counting the seconds in order to let the drops of glue try. “One Mississippi … two Mississippi …”
Suddenly, Zoey Brooks stumbled in. She had got some problem. “Today, Jadie Hawthorne[jadie hawthorne]
is coming to town.”
Stacey had never heard that day.
Ms. Hawthorne was Zoey’s favourite chick flick novel writer.
Zoey talked about her works.
And that’s why I desperately need a lift downtown.
Your Eric is coming. Could he take me there in his car?
It would have to be in time. Six o’ clock post meridiem latest.
Stacey groaned,
What?
This is my only evening with Eric.
And you expect me to lend him to you? Hey! What are you up to doing with him?
She glared at Zoey in a jealous manner.
The blond Mary Sue fainted and squealed, “Stacey! Eric is such a dweeb, no girl would even consider taking him off you, not for gazillions of bucks!”
This remark made Stacey really angry.
She jumped up like a spring. “How dare you saying that!”
Zoey choked. “OK, I take that back!”
Stacey calmed slowly down. “Well, I could consider letting Eric take you to your library, but under one condition …”
Zoey moaned, “come on! What is it?”
Stacey growled, “you have to talk Dean Rivers into letting us watch my favourite web show again.”
Zoey wondered, “your favourite web show?”
Stacey squealed,
icarly dot com … it is so cool!
And the show host, Carly Shay, and her tech producer, Freddie Benson, have got so much chemistry.
She jumped up and grabbed Zoey. “Can’t you see that? Carly and Freddie! Aw!” She moaned ecstatically, roaring “Creddie! Creddie! Creddie! Creddie!” as if in an exorbitant swoon.
Creddie was a term composed of “Carly” and “Freddie”. It was made up by fans of the web show. It designated a relationship, or, short, “ship” between Carly Shay and Freddie Benson.
People subscribing to such a “ship” were known as shippers.
Thus “Creddiers” like Stacey were people “shipping” Carly and Freddie as a couple.
Zoey really wished to have found a better idea than bothering Stacey.
Her throat was about shutting up.
But the tide was high.
With her last efforts, Zoey stammered, “OK, I will talk him into doing so.” She did not yet know what to do.
Zoey returned to her dormitory room.
Lola was doing some stretching exercises, using a giant rubber ball. She needed to stay fit for her next rôle at Hollywood.
Zoey started begging Lola. She told her about Stacey’s request. “And you are the most persuasive talker of us all.”
Lola grinned proudly. “The power of acting!”
Zoey begged Lola again.
Lola explained,
But it’s impossible now.
I have to babysit Mr. Bender’s son until tonight.
Mr. Bender is a responsible adult at the middle school talent show.
Zoey sighed deeply. “The ‘talent show’?”
Dustin was participating in it. He would have needed Zoey’s presence as some moral support. Now he was probably discouraged and would fail miserable, and then be forever mad at Zoey.
But the blond Mary Sue had no time to waste on the middle school event. She could watch Dustin often enough.
But Jadie Hawthorne would hardley ever again come that close to Pacific Coast Academy.
A toddler was creeping and crawling across the room.
Zoey gasped.
Is that Mr. Bender’s?
And you call that “babysitting?”
The toddler started rummaging through Zoey’s belongings.
Lola nodded. “Yes, he is!”
Zoey shuddered with disgust.
Lola offered,
find another babysitter!
I will then be able to talk to Dean Rivers about that web show.
Zoey nodded. “OK!” She was out there.
Zoey had been wondering about potential baby sitters for Mr. Bender’s little kid. She thought about Chase Bartholomew Matthews.
For some obscure reason, the bushy dork had always been the one person to lower himself to being Zoey’s string puppet.
So this would work here as well.
And Chase could not be much worse of a baby sitter than Lola.
Zoey found him on the campus, hunted by “Firewire” and a few other freaks. He had demonstrated some accidental knowledge of DC amd Marvel toons.
This was a remainder of his earlier youth.
Now Chase was embarrassed by this part of his past.
Zoey was talking to the freaks.
Wayne would have left Chase in peace, but only in exchange for Quinn Pensky’s latest upgrade of her self-made operational systerm “Quinndoze QP”.
Thus the whole game went on.
Zoey rushed back to her dormitory room. She was desperate explaining the situation to the geek princess.
Quinn grunted, “what? I should leave the precious result of two years of fine tuning to those freaks? Why would I do that?”
Zoey fell on her knees in order to beg Quinn.
Quinn moaned, “OK, I will give you and Freakweirdo Quinndoze QP.”
Zoey smiled.
But this was too good to be believable.
Quinn named a condition of her own. “Give me a date with Vince Blake! Tonight!”
Zoey choked. “What? Vince Blake?”
Quinn grunted,
am I stuttering or what? I’ve told you my condition: A date with Vince Blake!
Have you seen his legs? Aw his legs!
They are a new leap in the evolution.
According to Charly Darwin, …
Zoey moaned, “OK, OK, I’m going to ask him out for you.”
Quinn grinned.
Vince was working out with heavy lifting weights. He was preparing for an important match against California’s hardest hitting team, “Lincoln”[lincoln]
.
Zoey walked in, daring to bother the jock of jocks. She tried to explain her situation. She was also disgusted by the smell of Vince’s sweat.
Vince choked. “Quinn Pensky? The nerd of nerds? Have I gotten this right?”
Zoeye nodded. “Yes, you did!”
Vince broke into laughter. “Oh, I can’t go on any date whatsoever tonight.”
Zoey wondered, “why not?”
Vince explained,
it’s talent show for the middle school kids, and this includes Ashley.
I have to be present and cheer for her. I’m not a bad elder sibling, unlike …
He was alluding to Zoey’s intended absence from Dustin’s great number.
Zoey sighed. “So I have to ask Ashley for the permission?”
Vince nodded solemnly, secure in the knowledge of the “mission impossible” character of Zoey’s suggestion.
Ashley Blake was little pleased by Zoey’s request. “Vince has promised mom to attend the talent show.”
Zoey sighed. “You are a professional entertainer. You don’t need a watchdog.” She begged down on her knees.
Ashley sighed deeply. “OK, my number sucks. Let me be the virgin in Dustin’s trick, and I will release Vince from his promise.”
Dustin was not far from there. He was practicing the trick of sawing a virgin into half. Actually, he had not really got a virgin for that performance. But he deemed Ashley totally arrogant.
Zoey sighed deeply. After several minutes of a dispute about Zoey’s absence, she had talked Dustin into sawing Ashley into half.
The diva grinned.
But Dustin requested a high price from Zoey, to be reveiled next morning.
Dustin and Ashley won the talent contest.
Dustin would therefore desist from requesting a high price from his sister. But he was still abhorred by Ashley’s humiliating arrogance.
Vince dated Quinn, but he was so disgusted and bored to death, he had to puke thrice.
Wayne Gilbert had got a hard time studying the fine manual of “Quinndoze QP”.
Chase was overburdened with Bender junior. He had violated all the rules given by the teacher.
The little bugger had caused a vomit storm of no less than Beaufort Nine in their dorm.
Fortunately, Addie Singer, branded by her own sad experiences with babysitting, was by his side in the right moment, making him forget about the stinky evening.
Lola successfully talked Dean Rivers into desisting from his prohibition of Carly’s web show.
Stacey watched the talent show instead of a nice evening with Eric. But she was at least inspired by the performance of Dustin and Ashley. She wanted to make a cotton swab model of the scene.
Zoey had made it to town and back with Eric’s help.
But the evening at the library was really lame, absolutely not worth the trouble.
Zoey had to hope to be able to forget about it as soon as possible. Would she succeed?
[jadie hawthorne] mentioned in Zoey 101 : Favor Chain
[lincoln] This school and its brutality is subject of Drake & Josh : Football.
Table of Contents
Stacey Dillsen had just heard about the death of Zoey’s great uncle Morris[morris]
. She remembered the death of Chase’s grandma.
But it was not really half as bad.
Zoey had never come to know him, and she would not have missed him at all.
But there was this truck of deep-frozen pork chops.
Morris appeared to have been busy in the meat industry.
And Zoey had inherited the whole Truck’s load.
So what to do with it?
Not even the cafeteria’s fridge would have been able to hold it for good.
After a bunch of hesitations, she had decided to organise a barbecue contest.
Stacey Dillsen would have loved to build a team with her boyfriend Eric Blonowitz.
But there was one real problem.
Eric Blonowitz was a vegetarian.[eric the vegetarian] He would not participate in such a barbaric contest.
Thus Stacey wondered about the possibility of vegetarian ribs.
Zoey had been granted the permission for the barbecue contest.
But they needed a responsible adult for the whole mess.
Stacey had got a sudden idea. “Spencer Shay would be the perfect responsible adult!”
Too bad, not everyone on the campus was a fan of Carlotta Shay’s web show.
Spencer was not beknownst to them.
But Stacey was able to convince Zoey of Spencer’s wonderful abilities as a guardian. “He cares perfectly for his younger sister, Carly.”
Zoey smiled. “Oh, responsible elder siblings are great supervisors for events!” She had got a little brother on her own, Dustin. And she was very protective. Thus she was feeling flattered by Stacey’s allusions.
But there was that big problem.
Spencer and his friends lived in Seattle!
But Stacey had got an idea. “Carly’s best friend is obsessed with pork chops. She would beg him on her knees to come hereto and take her along!” She was talking about Samantha Puckett. She did not know about some irreparable hostility between Sam and Zoey.
Samantha Puckett had once studied at Pacific Coast Academy for a few weeks.[sam at pca] She had seduced Dustin in the most perverse manner and been expelled thereupon, denounced by Zoey Brooks.
But Stacey had magically refrained from mentioning Sam by name.
Dean Rivers had now found a judge for the contest.
It was Pierre Le Mange[pierre le mange]
from Cooking Channel.
The great day of the contest was there.
Spencer Shay had arrived, along with Sam Puckett, Carly Shay, and Fredward Benson, the fanatic trio from the best comedy web show ever.
Zoey gasped.
Sam and Melanie were looking alike.
But Zoey Brooks was able to tell a bad girl upon seeing one.
And Samantha Puckett was the epitome of evilness.
Zoey had thus not got any problem telling the two of them apart.
Sam grinned triumphantly.
Take that, Brooks!
Sam is the winner! Sam is the winner!
Then she gave Eric a wedgie, pulling his panties over his head.
Zoey sighed for despair. But she could not waste her time on the blond demon. She had to take care of her barbecue set. She was in a team with Michael Barret.
Their secret weapon was a barbecue marinade guarded as a secret in Michael’s family.
His grandmother had been the greatest cook in their tradition.
Another team was formed by Logan Reese and Chase Bartholomew Matthews.
Their panacea was the world renowned “Reese Rib Rub”, the perfect spice mix for barbecuue meat. It contained only the world’s most expensive and delicious spices.
Originally, the four of them had been up to being in one and the same team.
But this enterprise had failed miserably.
Michael and Logan had almost killed each other arguing over the spice mixes.
Stacey had actually been able to find fake barbecue ribs made of retextured soy beans. She hoped to be able to handle them correctly.
At least Sam Puckett would stay away from them. She hated fake meat made of stuff like soy.
Fredward Benson was taking pictures of the event. He would have loved to make a live session of the web show, right here at Pacific Coast Academy.
But Jeremiah Trottman had got the exclusive rights for live reports from this campus. And he refused stubbornly to budge from it.
Thus Freddie Benson had to do with taped pictures to be replayed in one of the next sessions of the web show.
Spencer Shay had already opened the contest. He talked about his good old times with “Socko”, his best friend forever.
The two of them had participated in many a barbecue contest.
Some of those had not been really voluntary ones.
Spencer was an expert for grilling his own butt.
Dustin, a big fan of Carly’s web show, was blushing almost to death when seeing his crush roaming the campus. He was too timid to talk to her. Also, he wanted to avoid being seen by his ex girlfriend Trisha Kirby alias Samantha Puckett. He was helping his elder sister with dips, though.
Stacey had also made a few of them.
Eric loved especially hummous and baba ghenoush.
Zoey Brooks took accidentally a look at Spencer’s feet. She was consternated.
Spencer’s socks were multicoloured and illuminated.
Zoey had designed those socks less than a year ago. “How have these socks made it to Seattle?”
Pierre le Mange started tasting the first chops.
Sam Puckett had already started sneaking some of them down her gullet. She purred gleefully.
Le Mange was now tasting Stacey’s. He figured the fake character of the ribs, and he found a cotton swab in the hummous. “Zero Points!”
Stacey was close to weeping. She had put so many efforts into her fake ribs and into the hummous and baba ghenoush.
And now everything was for naught.
But Eric loved her anyways.
Sam grinned. Then she came to face Le Mange. She had tried to devour a rib right from his hands.
Le Mange was little pleased.
But Sam noticed something else. She had watched Cooking Channel religiously. Unlike anyone else, she was certainly recognising a star cook upon seeing his eyes. She was not to be fooled. “This is not Pierre Le Mange!”
The onlookers were consternated.
Pierre Le Mange tried to rebutt the enormous accusations. But he failed completely and was now ready to run away. He did not really get far, though.
Sam Puckett grabbed his undergarments and gave him a painful wedgie.
Le Mange squealed like an idiot. He stumbled and lost his wig when drying to run away.
Logan Reese yelled, “I’ve given him hundreds of bucks in order to let us win! I want them back!”
Michael admitted, “I’ve given him a back rub in order to let us win. I want it back, too!”
Spencer sighed.
I’m not the umpire.
But no contest allows for bribing the umpires.
Both teams should be disqualified!
Zoey sighed deeply. But she did not deem this decision unfair. Rather, she was ashamed of having trusted a ruthless charlatan like Michael Barret in the first place.
Chase was equally disappointed by Logan. But he should have seen that coming.
Spencer wondered, “anyone know a good cook, serving as an umpire?”
Sam sighed. “Too late!” She had already devoured the remaining pork chops, barring those of Stacey Dillsen and Eric Blonowitz. She did not want to eat any fakes.
Eric sniffled at Sam’s breath.
She was upset and wanted to punch the bastard where it hurt most.
But Carly calmed her down.
Eric explained, “I smell an illegal ingredient.”
Sam, Carly, and Spencer wondered, “what?”
Eric continued,
The ribs must have been spiced with Peruvian puff pepper[peruvian puff pepper].
It is illegal in california. It causes chapped lips and kidney failure.
Carly was worried. “Sam, how much of that stuff have you eaten?”
Sam shrugged. “A little bit? I’m still hungry!”
Zoey had called Quinn Pensky.
The geek girl started examining Eric’s hunches. She took samples of all spices used for the barbecue.“OK, they are right. Both the ‘Reese Rib Rub’ and Barret’s barbecue marinade contain Peruvian puff pepper!”
Suddenly, Sam felt pains in her abdominal regions. She squealed.
This was unusual for her. “A real Puckett knows no pain!”
But Carly did not let it be.
Even Dustin was worried. He merged from the masses. “Trisha!”
Sam looked at her ex boyfriend.
Carly wondered, “do you know him?”
Samantha tried to deny it. But she failed.
Dustin did not love Sam anymore, But he accepted her as part and parcel of Carly’s show. He certainly could not let her pass away.
Quinn Pensky sighed. She had got a license to kill, oops, as a junior surgeon, from her mentor, Dr. Hollywood. She decided, “Sam needs immediate surgical treatment for kidney failure.”
Sam whimpered for pain.
Michael and Logan were now in serious legal trouble.
And Sam’s life was at stake.
How would this turn out??
[morris] from Zoey 101 : Zoey’s Ribs
[eric the vegetarian] cf. Drake & Josh : Aliens
[sam at pca] Samantha Puckett is here identified with Trisha Kirby from Zoey 101 : Bad Girl.
[pierre le mange] mentioned in Zoey 101 : Zoey’s Ribs
[peruvian puff pepper] from Drake & Josh : Peruvian Puff Pepper
Table of Contents
Quinn Pensky had been forced to slice open Sam’s whole tummy in order to try to prevent the worst from happening to her severely damaged kidneys. She used Stacey’s swabs in order to soak some blood off the fresh wounds.
Sam wanted to keep any removed tissue from her guts, ready to deep fry and eat it.
Quinn was very careful and tried her best.
But it was not an easy task.
Quinn concluded, “Sam’s kidneys might be permanently damaged. I can’t say where this will go to. Maybe she will need a kidney transplant in a few years … decades …!”
The most suitable donator was of course nobody other than Melanie Puckett, Samantha’s monozygotic twin sister.
There was one problem left, though.
The relationship between Sam and Melanie had not been exactly the best.
According to Sam, Melanie was a traitor to family honour.
Melanie had never been arrested or sent to detention.
This was, in Samantha’s eyes, tantamount to being the blackest of all black sheep in the history of the Puckett family.
Sam would rather have jumped from the very top of Bushwell Plaza, a veritable sky scraper, than continued to live with part of Melanie in her body. She had not even wanted to be seen together with Melanie during her visit to Pacific Coast Academy.
Quinn Pensky knew Melanie very well. She had immediately thought about asking her, against Sam’s explicit verdict.
Freddie laughed perniciously. “Sam has got a twin? Yeah, right!”
Carly choked.
Yes, she does!
Her name is Melanie.
I’ve seen her on the campus.
Freddie cackled hysterically. “Melanie? Heheh! Whom are you trying to fool?”
Carly was thoroughly disappointed by her “nice boy next door”.
They only hoped the failure to be not as dangerous as feared.
For the time being, Samantha Puckett could return to Seattle, along with her best friends, Carly and Freddie.
Stacey’s most hated teacher was Mr. Hotchins[mr hotchins].
The sucker had been so evil, he scared almost all of the pupils.
This had already been the case like fifty years ago.
His first victim had been a certain Charles Galloway. Having been yelled at by the psychopathic teacher, he started fleeing off the campus. According to legends, he died and was buried in a canyon in nearby wastelands, Redstone Gulch.
Hotchins was particularly mean to Stacey Dillsen. But he also mistreated other pupils,m such as Zoey Brooks, Chase Matthews, Michael Barret, and Logan Reese.
Alas, the latter were now in prison for using Peruvian puff pepper and causing permanent kidney damage to Samantha Puckett, and to a lesser degree to various other kids. But they would soon be back.
Zoey would have gone completely insane in the meantime.
Unlike other kids, Chase and Zoey did not want to know any details about Charles Gallaway and his rumoured destiny.
Quinn and Lola, on the other hand, were occupied with some scientific research. But they had heard about the legends, too, and they plainly hated Mr. Hotchins.
According to the Hollywood diva, boys with good kissing abilities were recognisable from their way of eating apples.
Quinn needed to examine this assumptions in a scientifically acceptable manner.
The two of them were now watching boys with a hidden video cam, placed near som bowl containing apples. But they were also talking on and off about Redstone Gulch.
A dubious guy named Lafe Berkowitz[lafe berkowitz] approached them and offered to guuide them to Redstone Gulch.
Lola and Quinn accepted the offer for mere curiosity.
Lola hoped to me shown a lot more on TV after having found the evidence for the legend about Charles Galloway.
Quinn figured this an excellent occasion for testing her new quinnventions, an improved set of goggles and an improved metal detector of some sort.
Stacey sighed. She had also watched a recent episode of Carly’s web show.
Sam had recovered very fast, with or without a pair of disimpaired kidneys.
The session was about a bagpipe solo of Carly’s, Freddie’s, and Sam’s teacher for English, a certain Ms. Briggs.
The performance was abominable.
But Freddie had displayed some fancy pictures in the background, without Ms. Briggs’s knowledge.
That had been deadly funny, indeed.
Stacey was really curious about Charles Galloway. But she was too afraid from desert storms, and the dry air, and the red hot sun.
Eric knew someone able to serve as a good guide through the desert, quite unlike Lafe.
Stacey wondered, “who is it?”
Eric replied, “it’s Joshuah Nichols, the step brother of Megan Parker.”
Stacey gasped. “Really?”
As expected, Lafe was a totally suckish guide through the desert. He figured a bottle of mustard more important than a sextant and a topographic map.
Little wonder, the kids were lost oout in the desert.
Fortunately, Joshuah Nichols was completely competent. He orgnised an expedition into the barren wastelands to Redstone Gulch. Following the traces, he was still able to find the lost girls and Lafe.
The usage of compatible two-way walk-and-talk radio sets helped a lot.
And the gang did not stop before reaching the tomb of Charles Galloway.
Josh had got some issues with digging the tomb site.
There were a few rumours about the dangers of opening tombs not blessed appropriately by a priest.
And this was certainly the case out here in the deserts of desolation.
But Lola wanted to see it all. She would not become famous for just having found some place out there in the try deserts. She needed a picture with the mortal remains of the deceased victim of Mr. Hotchins.
Digging at the site reveiled, among some decayed things, a locket with the name of its owner inscribed: Charles R. Galloway!
Lafe took a few photographs of Lola holding the rotting belongings aloft.
There was also a special picture of the medallion, exposing the inscription.
Everything was returned to the tomb.
But Josh was not totally at ease.
After a night out in the wastelands, the expedition returned safely to the campus.
Eric and Stacey had been awaiting them anxiously.
Megan was with them. She had told the onlookers various grisly stories about the undead rising from their tombs and hunting down the intruders, leading to the wild hunt.
For now, everything appeared peaceful.
But Megan did not trust the truce. She wanted to go sure and informed Jade West, a secret teenage exorcist.
Lola’s pictures would soon be pavailable on the interweb.
But would this really increase her fame?
Stacey sighed. She wished to have been with them in the expedition. She could have adorned Charles Galloway’s tomb with some cotton swab construct and become famous for this.
But now it was too late.
Was this a good or a bad thing?
Time would tell.
[mr hotchins] from Zoey 101 : The Curse Of PCA
[lafe berkowitz] Lafe is from Zoey 101 : The Curse Of PCA
The surname is taken from same actor’s rôle in some third-party owned movie.
Chapter 16. Doheny[doheny] At PCA
Table of Contents
Quite a few weeks had passed by since the incident with Charles Galloway and his ghost.
Logan had become more and more snobbish and arrogant.
Zoey was still the good old Mary Sue.
Stacey and Eric had grown closer and closer.
A bunch of Pacific Coast Academy students were now watching TV in our foyer.
It was a show featuring Henry Doheny, one of the greatest illusionists and escapist artists ever.
Stacey Dillsen had always wondered about his tricks.
Michael Barret pretended to be able to do more than just wondering. “hey! I can do the same.” He ordered random pupils to tie him and await his actions.
Mark del Figgalo was the first to act conforming with Michael’s wishes.
This was not much of a challenge.
Mark was a great knitter. He did certainly not lack the dexterity for making decent knots. But he would have had remorses in the case of hurting Michael with his knots.
Quinn had got the idea of getting Dustin’s teacher for geography, Kenneth Billiam[kenneth billiam], to tie Michael.
Mr. Billiam was not just a teacher for geography, he was also a trained ranger scout, he was said to make the best knots in Los Angeles county, and even far beyond. Was he really going to show Michael’s very limits?
Stacey Dillsen was practising a song. She wanted to make publicity for sassafras tea. Maybe she could even become famous with this tune.
There were some sounds at her cell door.
Stacey opened. “aw, hi, Eric!” She huggled her loverboy tenderly.
Eric blushed and beamed. “Hi sweetheart! You have got a great voice!”
Stacey felt flattered.
Everybody else hated her way of singing.
This was especially the case for Michael Barret.
But Stacey Dillsen did not really care.
Eric remarked, “many here seem to talk about Doheny.”
Stacey nodded solemnly and started explaining the situation.
Eric grinned. “I know someone who knows someone …”
Stacey looked up. “What?”
Eric moaned, “Megan Parker … you remember that lass?”
Of course Stacey remembered that name. And she knew of her property as an alike-looking cousin of Carly Shay, the host of her eternally favourite web show.
Megan had been able to match Stacey and Eric in the first place.
Billiam was very rude. He had tied Michael to a park bench with his most elitary knots.
Michael had whimpered for pain one whole night long. He had not eaten anything all that time.
Stacey had sung her song in his vicinity, torturing him to no end.
Well, he had at least deserved that sort of torture.
Morning had come.
Michael was still tied to the bench.
All of a sudden, Joshuah Nichols and Megan Parker showed up at the entrance to the campus. But they were not alone. They were followed by the great Henry Doheny!
Megan told Chase, Zoey, and Lola, “last year, Doheny’s career had been seriously at stake.”
Doheny continued, “but then, Megan had come and revived both me and my career!”
Zoey gasped. She had heard about Doheny’s crisis and its end, but she had not cared about any details. “She has revived you?”
Megan grinned viciously.
Doheny nodded. “A long story!”
Josh sighed deeply, moaning, “a very shocking revival!”
Doheny grinned demonically.
Whatever the situation, Henry Doheny challenged master knotter Kenneth Billiam to tie him appropriately.
Kenny had not got a good feeling.
Michael still whimpered for pain.
Doheny shook his head. Before doing anything else, he freed Michael Barret from his misery.
Everything hurt like hell.
Zoey would care about Michael’s burning wounds and scars.
But now everyone was awaiting Henry Doheny’s big demonstration of his skills.
Stacey suggested, “sassafras tea is very effective against the wounds from ropes.” She started singing.
Michael screamed, “no!”
Stacey’s voice in his ears meant more pain than all the wounds received from the tight ropes knotted by Kenneth Billiam.
Kenneth Billiam was tying Henry Doheny as fast as only possible.
The knots were the most elitary ones known around the world.
Kenneth Billiam grinned diabolically. “OK, I will come back in ten hours and see whether …” But he had not even been able tp complete his words.
Doheny shrugged off the knots like nobody’s business.
Kenneth Billiam went totally pale.
Stacey cheered for the great Doheny. “That must go into the Jonas Book of Records[jonas book]
!”
Doheny wondered about that book.
Stacey grinned. “It was recently in my favourite web show.”
Doheny grinned, “Oh, now I remember. I think I hold like thirty records in there.”
Megan chuckled. “Too many to remember.”
But Doheny wondred about that web show. “It soounds very popular among you kids.”
Stacey nodded wholeheartedly.
Henry Doheny had been very popular like thirty years ago.
The kids of this generation had hardly ever heard about him, at least not outside California.
Doheny had got his own variety show in Las Vegas. But he wanted to be known better among the kids of today. Thus he asked, “may I appear in that web show?”
Stacey squealed for excitement. Of course she could not decide about that. But she gave him the necessary information for contacting Carly Shay, Samantha Puckett, and Fredward Benson.
Stacey remarked, “Recently, harry Joyner had been in their show. That’s a great artist. I make arts, too, with cotton swabs. But Harry doesn’t care.” She showed Henry a cottonswab model of one of his latest tricks,
Doheny gasped. “Harry Joyner? Really? We have been friends for over twenty years! Thanks for the sculpture, it’s cool!”
Stacey beamed. “really? Most people here hate my sculptures”
Doheny nodded. “I will tell him soon. Promised! Those kids are just envious. They can’t build anything and thus …”
Stacey smiled emphatically. “Wow! If you say it this way … I have never seen it like that. But it sounds reasonable.”
Would Harry Joyner really take a look at Stacey Dillsen’s cotton swab arts?
Time would tell.
[doheny] from Drake & Josh : The Great Doheny
[kenneth billiam] from Zoey 101 : Logan Gets Cut Off.
[jonas book] cf. iCarly : iWant A Record
Table of Contents
Stacey had just built a new sculpture from cotton swabs and white glue.
It also contained some rubber tapes. It was a reconstruction of a Roman siege engine known as an onager. The machine was able to fire cotton swab balls across the whole lounge.
That place was now chock full.
Zoey Brooks seemed to have to talk some serious words to her friends Logan Reese, Michael Barret, Quinn Pensky, and Lola Martinez.
Stacey snuck closer in order to listen. She fired a cotton swab ball into the mass.
The kids appeared to be very excited.
Zoey had just heard about her parents’ impending move to London. She was urged to decide on whether to join them or not.
Mr. Brooks had accepted a better job at the freshly expanded international branch of his current enterprise.
This had required his relocation across the ocean.
Zoey’s ancestors had been from England, too, at least their majority.
Rumours mentioned a member of the Pilgrim Fathers among them.
Of course she would have had to leave Pacific Coast Academy and go to an English school.
The academy envisioned was “Covington’s”, even more elitary than Pacific Coast Academy.
Only very good contacts could get you a place there, especially contacts to the royal family.
Stacey started swooning upon hearing about it.
Dustin was invited to “Covington’s” as well. But he had already turned down the offer. Really, he was afraid of three things English: the climate, the kitchen, and the accent. He wasn’t keen on plaid school uniforms, either.
Zoey was a lot more flexible. She was really inclined to go there.
Her friends were not keen on missing her. But they were even less keen on spoiling the great chances connected to a life abroad for a few years.
How could Zoey’s overprotectivity allow her to leave Dustin behind alone at Pacific Coast Academy?
Well, that was not Stacey’s problem.
Zoey had to depart pretty soon. She would have to leave quite a few things behind, not just a little brother.
Stacey was interested in some of them, just like a vulture. For example, she was eager on moving into her dormitory room.
This would have put an end to her long period of isolation row.
But there was also Zoey’s old radio.
Stacey had come to know Spencer Shay, elder brother of her web idol Carly.
The quirky freak was still interested Zoey’s old device.
Zoey had not yet considered parting with it.
Even Spencer had not been able to do it. He had been here in person during the barbecue festival.
Well, that one had been overshadowed by Sam’s kidney problems.
But now the occasion for doing so was almost inevitable.
Stacey saw her great chance for arranging a decent deal.
Stacey had told Eric about the impending departure of Zoey Brooks.
The two of them had got a great idea.
Stacey pronounced it, “really? You will maybe get Drake Parker to perform here for Zoey’s departure?”
Eric nodded solemnly, He was one of Drake’s oldest friends. Really, he had just been abused over and over again by the jerk and not noticed that.
Drake remembered Zoey Brooks, the hot blonde, from his first visit at Pacific Coast Academy for his spring concert. He was of course ready to perform for her departure.
And the moment of saying good bye to it all was now here.
Zoey was surprised upon seeing Drake Parker show up.
Drake moaned,
what a loss for the American boys!
Now some English prince will marry Zoey.
He almost started weeping.
The blond Mary Sue had not got any intention of doing so.
But it sounded like an interesting idea. “Why not?”
Filled with excruciating excitement, Stacey asked, “will I be invited to your wedding? I could make a cotton swab sculpture of Westminster for you.”
Zoey sighed. “Maybe …”
Stacey squealed. “Oh, what about the Radio of model Fada?”
Zoey nodded solemnly. “You may have it. It is for the nice mid twenty guy from the barbecue fest, right? ”
Stacey squealed, “Spencer Shay … he is so cool. He makes many great sculptures, like mine, but not of cotton swabs.”
Zoey nodded. “He will certainly be happy with it. Maybe I can see the web show in London. The radio will be shown there, right?”
Stacey scratched her hair. “Probably …”
Zoey smiled. “That would be great!”
Stacey also gave Zoey the number of one of her relatives living in the outskirts of London. “Call him if lonely.”
Zoey accepted the number. But she was not up to dating a relative of Stacey, probably with as many quirks as the cotton swab princess. Then she hugged her other friends and Dustin.
Logan Reese was included.
Zoey polluted and corrupted herself to no end by hugging the dandy in such an excruciatingly perverse manner.
Drake sighed. “Oh, I need a female leading voice in order to sing with me. Anyone here a great singer?”
Zoey suggested, “Lisa Perkins has got a cool voice, I think.”
Drake gasped. “Lisa Perkins from America Sings[america sings], my favourite casting show?”
Lisa showed up. “Er, that’s me … I only made it into the top then, though, nothing special.”
Drake choked. “Hey! You were great! You should have made the top three at least.”
Lisa coughed. “Oh, really?”
Drake nodded solemnly.
Lisa wondered, “what are we going to sing?”
Drake replied,
I thought about Elvis Presley’s “This Last Farewell”[last farewell].
It sounds so appropriate in such a situation.
Lisa sobbed.
You are probably really right.
I had to think about it, too.
Drake struummed his guitar.
Lisa was handed a microphone by Joshuah Nichols, step brother and manager of Drake Parker.
Some melancholic tune filled the air.
Lisa sang along.
About each and every onlooker burst into tears.
But it had to be.
Zoey was now sitting in the borrowed car taking them to Los Angeles International Airport.
A plane to London was already awaiting the family.
The campus started to drown in the tears of the students.
Stacey Dillsen had actually made it into Zoey’s old dorm, “101 Brenner Hall”.
Unfortunately, arrogant Hollywood diva Lola Martinez was not exactly pleased by that. She would probably do everything in order to scare poor Stacey Dillsen away again.
The old radio had been awaiting Stacey in a cardboard box.
The cotton swab queen unwrapped it. “Aw, my old radio! You will soon adorn the studio of Carly’s perfct web show!”
Lola whispered, “poor Carly!”
Quinn sighed.
Zoey should have sold it for a higher price back then.
Prices drop rapidly in such a situation.
Lola did not understand that in any way.
Stacey started singing her song about sassafras tea, over and over again. Then she started sending a message for Carly and her gang, reporting about the availability of the radio.
Lola stuffed her ears. “That’s terrible! I want Zoey to come back!”
Quinn nodded solemnly.
What were those meanspirited girls up to?
[america sings] cf. iCarly : iRock The Votes
[last farewell] third-party owned song by Elvis Prsley and Roger Whitacker
Table of Contents
After spring break, some new students showed up on the campus.
One of them was James Garrett[james garrett]
, a tall blond rake and mindless girl magnet.
Stacey had already seen him twice. But she had got a hard time remembering.
Eric had to scratch his head. “Craig calls him a ‘Creddie Killer’.”
Stacey gasped. “Who wants to kill Creddie?”
Creddie killers were any potential boyfriends of Carly Shay different from Fredward Benson.
Creddiers hated them and were ready to violent moves.
But then Stacey remembered better. “It’s Jake Crendle, the infamous rake!”
Eric sighed. “Yeah, that could be. Carly has always ignored Freddie for Jake’s sake.”
Stacey panted heavily. She could not tolerate that. She had got an idea. She wanted to tie up James and tickle torture him with cotton swabs.
Likewise, Logan Reese was dismayed by James, the most popular rake of the school stealing all the girls from him barring Mercedes Griffin.
Logan and Mercedes were still sneaking around each other in some dubious manner.
Logan had got a much better idea for punishing James. “Sing your Sassafras Tea song!”
Stacey was little pleased. She did not understand her song as a means of accoustic terror.
18.2. Daka Techfoot[techfoot]
A new episode of Carly Shay’s wonderful web show had just been shown.
Carly and her friends had now found a sponsor, Daka Footwear.
A year ago, Daka had become popular due to using a song of Drake Parker for advertising.[drake and daka]
Now it was time for a new product, the multipurpose techfoot.
Stacey was rigged and ready for trying those elitary pieces of footwear.
They looked a bit strange for shoes.
Stacey donned them carefully.
Many pupils envied Stacy for those.
This was especially true for dumbass Michael Barret.
But also Lola Martinez gasped.
Quinn liked the idea of the built-in wireless access to the interweb.
Now Stacey strutted the campus proudly. She was also carrying a cotton swab model of Carly’s attic in her hands. She was whistling These Boots Are Made For Walking[boots are made] in a merry manner.
But all of a sudden, the shoes started to squeak.
Stacey shrieked. “What is that?”
Flames were shooting aloft from the tips of her boots and immediately setting the cotton swab sculpure ablaze.
Consternated Stacey was screaming insanely. She would never have dropped her cotton swab model just in order to save herself from the flames.
Her hands were now also hit by the fiery mess.
Stacey was staggering, floundering, and finally keeling over. Also, she was unable to save the cotton swabs.
And this hurt Stacey a lot more than her smouldering finger nails and her aching hands.
The lads in white were about arriving at the speed of light.
Doc Hollywood was already awaiting his main customer.
Stacey Dillsen had not been the only one experiencing problems with her Daka shoes.
Quinn Pensky had been particularly keen on using the wireless interweb access.
But strange things happened.
Her laptop, running on her latest upgrade of her self made operational system Quinndoze QP, lost all of its data in one swipe.
Quinndoze QP was thus wiped out.
In addition, the shoe LAN had infected the school’s network server with a dangerous virous, the “athlete’s foot”.
Lots of things started going wrong in the administration.
The teachers’ schedules got mixed up.
Dormitory assignments for the new students got thoroughly screwed.
Quinn was in a really stinky mood. She was angry at Carly’s show for promoting such a completely perverted piece of dirt, crap, and junk.
According to the the central school computer, James Garrett was now her new room mate.
Quinn cheered.
But Lola wanted the tall blond rake as well.
Maybe such a virus could also be a good thing?
Lola smiled. “my lessons have been cancelled by the computer.”
Quinn and Lola would thenceforth watch each other with increasingly aggravating jealousy.
The kids from Seattle had already noticed the problems.
They made a very sarcastical recall action, praising hypocritically all the drawbacks of Daka foots as great boons. This way, they were not breaking their contract with Daka and would not have to pay a horrible conventional fine.
Logan Reese was at first excessively upset about James being assigned to a room with two girls. But he had now stopped envying James Garrett. “Gettin torn between a spaz and a drama queen should be enough of a punishment.”
Doc Hollywood could now remove the bandages from the mutilated face of Stacey Dillsen.
Eric was allowed to see her. “Hey darling!” He kissed her gently on her forehead.
Stacey Dillsen purred.
Eric’s lips were now covered with soot. But he had got some good news. “I found a way for fixing the Daka shoes.”
Stacey smiled. “Wow! That would be great!”
Eric shrugged. “But I need some of your cotton swabs for that.”
Stacey’s eyes bugged out. “My cotton swabs?”
Eric nodded. “I need to rub some strange oil into some narrow openings.”
Stacey Dillsen sighed. “OK! If it works!” She smooched Eric onto his cheeks.
James Garrett yawned. He had just been awakened by the first sun rays flooding the campus of Pacific Coast Academy.
Quinn and Lola had already been awake. Truth said, they had never ever come to sleep.
Quinn had been awake all night in order to prevent Lola from slipping and snuggling secretly under James’s blanket.
Lola was afraid of Quinn giving James secretly some love potion.
Now both of them were sitting down on James’s bed, one by each side of the tall girl magnet.
James yawned heartily.
Quinn deemed this the right time for a good morning kiss.
Lola had got the same idea.
Each of the girls was turning her lips towards James’s temples. They closed their eyes in anticipation.
The magic moment was moving closer and closer.
Suddenly, the door went open.
Stacey Dillsen stumbled in. “Hey, Quinn! Hi Lola! I’m back!”
James shrugged and stood up.
OK, I am out of here again.
There should be a free room by now.
The central computer is supposed to be repaired tonight by some Eric.
Quinn and Lola, still with their eyes shut, did not notice James’s movement. And they could not stop their lips.
Smooch!
Stacey’s eyes bugged out. “Quinn? Lola? What are you doing?”
Quinn and Lola opened their eyes and noticed their mistake.
Lola was disgusted upon noticing the target of her lips.“Quinn?”
The nerd queen squealed, “Lola?”
Two screams of exorbitant terror filled the whole of “Brenner Hall”.
James shrugged.
It was nice with you girls.
See you on the campus!
Stacey was disgusted by the thought of having got two lesbian room mates and wanted James to take them back.
James sighed. “OK, if you think so …”
Stacey stomped her feet and walked away. “Good riddance, Creddie Killer!”
[james garrett] James Garrett from Zoey 101, last season is here identified with Jake Crendle from iCarly : iLike Jake and with Dennifer from Zoey 101 : Quarantine
[techfoot] cf. iCarly : iPromote Techfoots
[drake and daka] cf. Drake & Josh : Really Big Shrimp
[boots are made] third-party owned song by Nancy Sinatra
Table of Contents
Not much later, Logan Reese got fired from Pacific Coast Academy. He had abused Dustin Brooks verbally, in the most perverted manner.
Zoey Brooks would certainly have chopped Logan’s head off. Unfortunately, she was too far away.
Dustin had been working as an errant boys for Logan Reese in order to earn bucks for buying a web cam for his mother, allowing them to web chat more often. He had been forced to take care of several of the ruthlessly impatient dandy’s commands at the same time.
This was too much.
Finally, Dustin had not been able to pick up one of Logan’s calls with new, improved orders.
Stacey had denounced Logan’s evil deed to Carly, Freddie, and Sam.
Logan’s angry reply had been recorded and broadcasted by Carly’s wonderful web show.
Following the pressure of the parents, the alumni, and the board, Dean Rivers felt compelled to expel Logan Reese.
Unfortunately, that was not really an easy task.
Logan’s father Malcolm Reese was one of the main sponsors for Pacific Coast Academy.
But then something incredible happened.
Arthur Griffin had purchased “Palmwood”, a hotel with built-in school for young Hollywood talents, for his daughter Mercedes.
The spoiled lass would not have been able to graduate from a school not owned by herself. And she boasted mercilessly with owning her own school.
Now Logan had felt the necessity of competing with Mercedes’ move, and thus he wanted his own school.
Malcolm Reese had been forced to buy him Hollywood School for the Professional Performance Arts.
This had made the decision very easy for Dean Rivers.
Unfortunately, the consequences for Stacey Dillsen were not just pleasant.
James Garrett was now about to leave “101 Brenner Hall” and move on to “148 Maxwell Hall”.
Stacey Dillsen was now reassigned to “101 Brenner Hall”, with two roomies like Quinn Pensky and Lola Martinez.
Lola and Quinn were disappointed by this situation.
But their fight over James Garrett would continue to the death
The situation was going to aggravate with the approach of Junior Prom.
Only a few months after the turmoil about his “customers of the week”, Calvin had come up with a happy hour. He needed to compensate for the loss of confidence caused by the disappointment about the aforementioned fiasco.
Unfortunately, the happy hour had not been without less pleasant consequences, either.
In one of those happy hours, Lola had bought some coffee. She had forgotten the straws and thence returned to the cart. She had carelessly triggered the stoppers of the cart’s wheels.
The vehicle started rolling all over the campus, unfortunately hitting Tipper Rivers, the wife of the dean.
The couple had been close to a divorce for quite some time already.
Dean Rivers could not afford a bad scenario. He would have been torn into smithereens by his wife’s sharks. A few days ago, he had messed up a lot by showing up at their daughter’s birthday without a suitable gift. Thus he announced a ban for the coffee carts, and not ust that, a ban for coffee at all.
This was of course totally absurd.
Stationary coffee booths were no danger at all, at least not in the sense of being able to roll over people.
But Dean Rivers was too dumb to understand that.
Stacey was really sad. She was addicted to javaccino, the most popular type of coffee at Pacific Coast Academy.
Quinn Pensky started her own coffee shop, somewhere in the basements of “Brenner Hall”, the place hosting her secret laboratories with some extremely deadly bacteria.
Her aunt in law owned a coffee shop in Seattle.
Stacey hoped to get her daily dose of the warm, brown sewage.
But, according to a law established by Lola Martinez, girls with cotton swabs were excluded from that coffee shop.
Stacey sobbed bitterly. Thus she denounced Quinn’s illegal coffee shop to Dean Rivers.
Quinn and Lola were now really in trouble. They would be suspended for several weeks from all extracurricular activities, including junior prom. Needless to say, they were now even more mad at Stacey. But they had deserved it thoroughly.
Too bad the dean himself had not been sticking to his own rules.
Beverly, his secretary, had caught him in flagrante delicto in his office with a running coffee machine in his hands.
Executive chairman Garth Burman had to suspend the headmaster due to not being a good example for the students.
Mr. Bender was taking over the office for the rest of the academic year.
The great day for the juniors was there.
Stacey had been organising most of it.
Usually, Lola Martinez would have done that. But she was still susppended from extracurricular events, exactly like Quinn Pensky.
But the two mischievous girls would just postpone their fight over James until next year.
Many girls had wanted to be James Garrett’s prom partner.
The tall blond rake had finally decided in favour of Melanie Puckett, saving her from Wayne Gilbert.
Stacey Dillsen and Eric Blonowitz were ready for the evening of their life.
Stacey was dressed with a gown made completely of cotton swabs and carpenter’s glue.
Eric Blonowitz used his uncle’s old tuxedo suit.
The latter was very dusty.
Chase Bartholomew Matthews was here with aforementioned Addie Singer.
Michael Barret showed up with a horse named Winchester. He had not found a human partner for the prom, thus he had borrowed the beast from its owner, Faye Dunnaway.[faye dunnaway]
Unfortunately, the horse did not fit into the prom hall. Thus it ran away, dragging hapless Michael behind.
A few weeks ago, the horse had run away and started stalking Michael, usually allergic to horses, all across the campus.
But then Faye had appeared on the campus in order to claim Winchester back.
Mark del Figgalo appeared with hot-looking Brooke Margolin, a girl from his knitting classes.
Vince Blake arrived with cheerio captain Mandy Franklin at his lips.
Lisa Perkins was coming with Drake Parker. And they were also the band for the prom ball.
Mr. Bender said a few words, but then he disappeared quickly.
The ball was now open.
Drake and Lisa were performing many cool tunes.
The amusement appeared to be great.
But James was not really happy. He felt tortured over and over by little stings from nowhere.
Melanie tried to check it.
There were burned spots on his tuxedo, and small holes. But how had those made it into James’s new suit?
Quinn’s and Lola’s laughter would have been heard.
But it was too loud on the dancing floor.
The air on the campus was still.
Suddenly, a cab halted at the parking lot.
A blond girl exited.
Even in the fledgling darkness, it was not hard to identify her.
Zoey Brooks was back!
Why was this the case?
Michael slouched across the campus, all tortured.
Zoey greeted him. “Michael? What happened to you?”
Michael coughed. “I have been saved by some not existing person!”
Zoey shook her head. “Dream on!” Then she discovered Quinn and Lola.
The geek queen and the drama princess had been firing laser beams into the prom hall, using a large zap gun.
It was a story too long for Zoey to understand.
But the blond Mary Sue admitted, “I will be back the upcoming fall.” She had got horrible remorses due to having left Dustin behind. She could not help it.
Lola and Quinn had got a lot to talk about, including James Garrett and the departure of Logan Reese.
Where was this going to?
Table of Contents
The chaotic academic year at Pacific Coast Academy had come to an end.
Stacey was now bound for Swampscott in Massachusetts.
It would only be a very short period spent at home.
Rather, Stacey was appointed with Eric in a summer camp for astronomy at the greatest observatory of New York City.
The camp itself was in the less urbanised parts of the state of New Jersey.
But the visit to the observatory was the summit of the programme.
Eric and Stacey had frequented camps together since the holidays following their first encounter, arranged by Zoey, Michael, and Chase.
This distracted them a lot from their problems encountered in their usual environment, be it at home or at Pacific Coast Academy.
And in the case of Stacey Dillsen, this was very important.
As aforementioned, the situation between pa and ma Dillsen was not a really happy one.
Stacey had not noticed much of it due to the long distance.
And her camps with Eric kept her away from home even during the shorter vacations, such as spring break or thanksgiving break.
Otherwise, Stacey would have suffered even infinitely much more.
Due to their constant bickering, the Dillsen creeps had got no time for caring for her younger daughter, or at least not as much as necessary.
The plane came down from the New York City summer sky.
A greyhound would take Stacey from the big airport of the city of the Empire to equally restless Massachusetts.
The cotton swab queen was not aware of the things coming up to her in a few.
Stacey had expected either mom or dad at the bus station.
But this had been an erroneous assumption.
After half an hour of waiting and several vain ateempts of calling home, Stacey had to call a cab.
This was truly nothing promising.
Stacey had never been forgotten byb her parents.
Well, there had probably not been enough vacations for that.
Now Stacey stood in front of the door to the loft of the Dillsen family. She rang thrice.
But there was no explicit reply.
Only some less pleasant sounds appeared to come forth from the parental apartment.
Stacey had not got any keys for her loft. She knocked over and over again.
But it awas all in vain.
Stacey sighed deeply.
Suzane Dillsen, the elder sister of Stacey, was not yet back from Mississippi, either.
Stacey panted heavily. She decided to call her uncle Felix[uncle felix]
.
This relative lived in Boston, the most well known city of Massachusetts.
Stacey had to hear some ugly words from beyond the locked door. She did not know what to do. Finally, she had recently turned eighteen and was no longer subject to childcare stuff. She sat down on the staircase and started thinking about cotton swabs and carpenter’s glue. “One Mississippi … two Mississippi … three Mississippi …”
Some thousand Mississippis later, uncle Felix showed up. He had got a key to the apartment of Stacey’s parents.
Stacey sighed for relief.
Felix gasped. “Oh hells bells!” Then he turned the key around in the lock.
Many smithereens of broken things adorned the floor of the apartment.
The sound of the bickering Dillsen couple was now even more penetrant.
Felix tried to talk some sense into Stacey’s parents. But he was piteously unsuccessful. He had even got an excruciatingly hard time dodging all the flying things therown forth and back between the unhappily married couple.
And this was not the first time for Felix.
But the situation was now worse than ever before.
In no case was it possible for Stacey Dillsen to stay with her parents.
Stacey started weeping.
Felix told her to come with him to his apartent in Boston.
Stacey sobbed.
Felix picked his cellular phone.
I have to send a short message to Suzanne.
She can’t go home next weekend.
It will be narrow.
But I may host her too.
Stacey was little pleased. She had got often enough a hard time getting along with Suzanne.
Felix knew that. “Sorry! But it has to be.”
But maybe Suzanne was going to change her mind and not come home to Massachusetts at all.
Stacey was already regretting her trip to Swampscott.
Felix had already been responsible for the choice of the Pacific Coast Academy as a boarding school for Stacey.
Mom Dillsen would have preferred a school for girls only, more precisely, Eastridge.
But the last available place over there had already been given to one Nicole Bristow, a former student at Pacific Coast Academy.
Thus Felix had chosen the Pacific Coast Academy.
Now Stacey and Felix were about keaving the house of the Dillsen family and jumping into his car.
Stacey had now been dropped at the entrance of the camp for the young astronomy fans, known as Camp Star. She was still incredibly sad about the impending divorce. She felt the reason for this disaster.
But of course there had been other reasons, too.
Eric Blonowitz was already strolling the camp yard.
Stacey squealed upon recognising him.
Eric ran over in order to huggle Stacey.
Of course the cotton swab queen had to talk a lot about the past weeks in Massachusetts.
Eric was a bit consternated. He had not expected his girlfriend in such an emotional crisis. In addition, he remembered the divorce of the marriage of the parents of Eric’s friend Joshuah Nichols. “It was such an ugly thing.”
In addition, the second marriage of Walter Nichols, a renowned but totally inept weather reporter, was now drifting into a catastrophe, too.
The second wife of the weather frog was Audrey Parker, the mother of Drake and Megan.
This marriage was one piece of botched crap.
Walter Nichols was way too messy for Audrey.
This meant nothing but trouble.
And the kids suffered badly from this.
The camp adviser was now gathering the kids for a reunion in order to go through the programme for the following days. He knew many stories about the stars, and their names.
A lot of stars had been named for mythic heroes and villains.
Most of the marriages of the old times seemed to have gone awry.
There were so many chaters and spouse murders.
This did not make Stacey feel a lot better.
Eric tried to comfort his beloved one as much as possible. But he had been up to something even more important. He would have loved to offer Stacey engangement rings.
>But with all those catastrophical examples in front of her eyes, Stacey was probably not even in the mood of thinking about it.
And as a high level autist, Eric was socially too clumsy to find his way around in the maze of Stacey’s feelings.
Will this ever get anywhere?
Table of Contents
The summer break was now about ending.
The camp had been totally interesting, inspite of the bad situation at Stacey Dillsen’s home.
At least Stacey had been able to meet some intereresting people.
For example, there was Mikey Jay from some local school in New York City. He was a bit timid, less than Eric though. He seemed to know a lot about many things, not just the stars.
There was also a teenage couple from the former school of Adelaide Singer, viz. Rocky Road. They were Duane Ogilvy and Mary Ferry, apparently total freaks. But they were awesome in their way. They may have had some troubles with each other during their five years as a couple, but they had always been able to overcome them, even though sometimes needing the help of their friends for this avail.
So, maybe there was still some chance left for Eric and Stacey?
The hottest time of the year was now waning.
The Californian summer sun was still burning mercilessly up the coastal hill chains of southern California.
A gentle breeze sneaking in from the mighty Pacific was moderating the scorching heat.
Suzanne Dillsen had taken her little sister Stacey back to the campus for her very last year at Pacific Coast Academy.
Stacey was still shake by the bad experience at home.
Suzanne was not really much of a help. She would disappear as soon as possible.
Many questions were left for Stacey.
But now she had to find her dormitory room.
The return of Zoey Brooks must have somewhat messed up the school administration’s dormitory assignment plans.
Coco Wexler had never been able to return to her job at Pacific Coast Academy.
For that reason, Dean Rivers, while still in office, had been looking for some substitute.
After some string of more or less auxiliary solutions, Audrey Parker from San Diego had been contracted. She was the mother of aforementioned rock idol Drake Parker and his little sister Megan.
Dean Rivers was now no longer in his office.
Mr. Bender was still an auxiliary headmaster. Inspite of being an excellent teacher, he was not really prepared for a job like that of a dean. He still had to accomodate to his new job.
Needless to say, this did not help to reduce the amount of confusion and troubles in the organisation of the start of the new academic year at Pacific Coast Academy.
Stacey had not yet been assigned a room. She was told to address Audrey Parker.
But Drake’s mom was not yet very familiar with the place. She had not found her official office.
Ms. Burvich[burvich]
, the boarding manager, was still in vacations.
Stacey steered straight towards Brenner Hall, hoping for instructions.
And there was Mrs. Parker. She had to discuss with some other girls about the assignment plans.
Stacey was not the only one to be a victim of that chaos. And she knew it now.
Quinn Pensky, Zoey Brooks, and Lola Martinez were standing around.
Lola and Quinn wanted Zoey back in 101.
But Audrey Parker had chosen Stacey Dillsen as the number three in “101”. She had not known teh history of that room.
Lola hated Stacey to the death for no reason. She insulted her all sorts of bad words, in front of clueless Audrey Parker.
The dorm adviser decided to remove Lola from “101” and let Zoey, Quinn, and Stacey resiode there.
Lola looked consternated.
I am a diva!
You mustn’t treat me like that!
She glared grimly.
Audrey suspired. “I have to report this undue demeanour to Dean Bender.”
Lola shrugged and walked away, albeit totally grudgingly. She would tell the sponsors of the school about it, especially Malcolm Reese, the great emperor of Hollywood.
Quinn was still disappointed. But she did not defend Lola. In any case, she did not really like Quinn.
Zoey sighed deeply. She had never gone through such an insane amount of turmoil at the beginning of an academic year. In addition, she was still short on informations about things having occurred at Pacific Coast Academy between her departure to London and her premature return at the junior prom.
Dustin must have told her a lot of stories. But he was not exactly familiar with the inner secret of Zoey’s gang.
After all, Zoey was still totally confused about the changes. She had not yet understood the demise of Dean Rivers, for example. She kept on talking about her summer break. She had spent the vacations partly in Lobndon with mom and dad. But she had also worked on Maui, one of the greater islands belonging to the archipel of Hawaii.
Zoey’s father knew the manager of Chambrolay[chambrolay]
hotels. He had arranged some summer job as a bay watch.
Zoey was great at saving drowning people. She had already worked several times in that branch. Unfortunately she had been forced on and off to reanimate ugly old women, not just a few hot boys.
This had been most disappointing for her.
Quinn had been to a summer camp about nuclear physics.
Her adviser had been a certain Cal.
They had built some new portable power transformer together, able to provide the energy for the whole of Malibu and Santa Monica.
Lola had been making movies, of course.
Most of her jobs were in the realms of advertisements.
But she was also cast as a recurring rôle in Newtown High[newtown high]. She was now hoping for a good kissing male cast colleague.
But this was unfortunately not necessarily a given in the Hollywood business.
Of course the new dormitory adviser was not the only change for the starting academic year.
Some other kids had left the school.
One of them was James Garrett.
This was a good thing for the piece among the girls here at Pacific Coast Academy..
Stacey hoped the “Creddie killer” to have died on site.
But he was now just at a different school, abusing and seducing different girls.
The basketball team had got a new adviser, viz. coach Pearson.
He had been formerly teaching physical education at aforementioned Rocky Road.
Coach Keller, the former responsible, had ruined the team during the last three years.
This was too much.
But for the first time in over a decade, the Pacific Coast Academy had got a teacher for woodshop.
Mr. Chopsaw had used to teach at nearby James K. Polk. Now he was transferring to Pacific Coast Academy, He could not get along with his princoipal, Mr. Crubs.
The creep had not approved of new tools for the workshop.
Stacey was happy about this change. She loved carpentry.
Eric was still the adviser for the clubs for astonomy and for the school garden.
Stacet was of course glad about it.
But this last year at Pacific Coast Academy was still full of atrocities.
[burvich] from Zoey 101 : Back At PCA et alibi
[chambrolay] cf. Zoey 101 : Chasing Zoey, iCarly : iRick The Votes, Drake & Josh : Drake and Josh go Hollywood.
[newtown high] show mentioned in Big Time Rush : Big Time Breakup
Table of Contents
The first episodes of Carly Shay’s web show annoyed Stacey Dillsen to no end.
The reason for this was one Shane Diamond[shane diamond], a new student at Ridgeway, the school of Fredward Benson, Carly Shay, and Samantha Puckett. He had recently appeared in the web show, invited by Fredward.
Both of them were in the AVL club.
Shane did not look as nerdy as assumed beforehand by the girls.
Now Carly seemed to have a crush on Shane, similarly to the equally annoying crush on Jake Crendle alias James Garrett of the year before.
In other words, Shane Diamond was nothing but a mean “Creddie killer”.
Stacey Dillsen could not bear this. She started screaming insanely.
Zoey and Quinn were recklessly annoyed by Stacey’s horrific screams.
The problem seems to resolve itself after a few days.
For some reason, Shane fell like thirty yards through an empty elevator shaft, breaking every bone.
The proper reason was still unknown, at least not known to the students of Pacific Coast Academy.
Melanie Puckett made a guess. “Samantha has pushed him down the hole.”
Stacey and many other kids choked. “What?”
Melanie nodded solemnly. “Sam has already once pushed other kids downstairs. She is always up to that. And this time, she was clearly jelous of Carly.”
OK, there was a motivation.
Sam had wanted Shane for herself.
Shane was inclined toward Carly.
Bang!
This made sense for Stacey Dillsen.
And the cotton swab princess was totally happy for this turn.
The “Creddie killer” had got his just desserts.
A week after the fall of Shane Diamond, a new episode of the fantabulous web show was seen by the pupuils of Pacific Coast Academy.
Spencer Shay was a freelance sculptor, kind of like Stacey, but older and more professional.
But this career was now at stake.
Spencer had found an old arcade machine. He was now totally addicted to the ancestor of modern video games.
This made it impossible for Carly’s elder brother to accomplish his contracted works.
He was now hell bent on breaking the record established by one Sasha Striker[sasha striker], a teenage girl back then, and now a young woman. He would work day by day, night by night for this goal.
But his current professional project was thus not able to get completed in time. It would have been a sculpture of a labradoodle, made of cotton swabs and white glue.
Labradoodles are dogs, more precisely a blend of a labrador hound and a poodle.
Carly did not care about the zoological details.
But Samantha Puckett had got an idea in order to save Spencer.
Sasha Striker should show up in Seattle and face Spencer in person, showing him his limits.
There was one most annoying hitch.
Sasha Striker had moved away long time ago.
And now Carly and Sam used their web show in order to locate the queen of the classic arcade. They even promised some awards.
One of them was a survival knive.
The other was a picture of a pregnant boy.
Well, Stacey did not know aboyt Sasha.
But Eric had got an idea. “You could make a sculpture of a labradoodle with cotton swabs and white clue.”
This way, Spencer would be able to play even longer.
Stacey beamed. She was of course totally excited by this possibility.
But what were the characteristics of a labradoodle?
Fortunately, Eric had got a book about many types of dogs.
His friend Craig had been collecting pictures of animals for a gallery, like, ten years ago.
And this was now a boon.
Stacey had decided on a combination of cotton swabs and wood as the base material for the sculpture of the labradoodle. She looked forward to making the best dog sculpture ever.
But Mr. Chopsaw needed to help with the wooden part.
Fortunately, there were many new tools.
Mr. Chopsaw just needed to teach Stacey to handle them as correctly as can be.
Stacey would learn very fast due to her natural talent for sculpting and carpentry.
But how had Mr. Chopsaw found his way to Pacific Coast Academy?
There were two girls at his school known as the “oboe twins”[oboe twins], playing the oboe for the school orchestra.
.
Aforementioned Megan Parker, daughter of Audrey and sister of Drake, was an even more gifted oboe player. She knew the twins from the Californian contest for school orchestras. Now she was also a student at Pacific Coast Academy. She had used her connections in order to organise a decent teacher for the wood shop classes.
Down to Stacey Dillsen’s excessive enthusiasm, the sculpture of the labradoodle got done pretty fast.
The customer of Spencer Shay was still living in state of Washington.
Sending the sculpture up there would have taken several days.
But the old creep had got a business partner in Los Angeles.
And an express messenger was able to deliver the masterpiece produced by Stacey Dillsen withing half an hour.
The customer was way more than content and was up to paying Spencer even some bonus.
Spencer took this gladly as a reason for keeping on playing his arcade twenty-four out of twenty-four, seven out of seven.
Stacey did not request anything in turn, not even part of the bonus granted by the happy customer. She just wanted to help the web show this way.
At first glance, Zoey Brooks deemed dthis funny.
But then it sounded so unfair.
Zoey wanted to get Spencer to pay Stacey for the sculpture.
Carly Shay was now consternated.
Sasha Strike had been found and brought to face Spencer in a duel.
And Spencer had even won.
But getting his work done by Stacey was so comfortable.
Spencer was not going to desist from his arcade playing.
Even worse, Carly, hitherto disgusted by Spencer’s obsession, started playing the same game as well.
Freddie and Sam had to do the web show almost alone by now.
The quality would necessarily go down fast.
A few days ago, Samantha had tried to fool Freward into believing in a string of bad luck due to his refusal to forward some chain letter by theiur friend Gibby. She referred to “Consuela’s evil revenge”, the punishment for interrupting the chain letter.
Freddie and Sam were stubborn materialists, unable to consider the existence of curses and bad charms.
But Carly did believe in those.
And she connected Spencer’s and hwer own addiction to the arcade game with this curse.
Stacey was still undecided. She had to remember the curse of Charles Galloway.
Of course there was no proof for anything.
But Stacey could not desist from seeing a connection.
Where was this going to?
[shane diamond] This is Shane from iCarly : iSaw Him First.
The surname is from the star rôle of the same actor in Big Time Rush.
[sasha striker] from iCarly : iStage An Intervention.
[oboe twins] from Ned’s Declassified SSG : Shyness.
Theu are here identified with a self insert of the same actresses in Drake & Josh : Tree House.
Table of Contents
Zoey had tought Stacey many a story about Trisha Kirby alias Samantha Puckett.
Sam had only been at Pacific Coast Academy for less than a month.
This was essentially due to Zoey’s vigorous intervention.
Sam had shamelessly seduced and abused naïve Dustin.
Zoey Brooks had by absolutely no means whatsoever able to tolerate such an inconsiderate misdemeanour and denounced Samantha Puckett to Garth Burman.
Samantha Puckett had only been at Pacific Coast Academy on parole.
This had been granted by the state of Washington.
The Pucketts were known excessively well as a family of thugs and rogues.
The state was trying to get the Puckett kids away from a destructive environment.
A boarding school seemed to be the most appropriate tool.
Back then, the Pacific Coast Academy had been in its early stages as a coeducating school.
The capacities for girls were still underused.
For that avail, Dean Rivers was happy about the state programme, regardless of the dubious background of the girls.
A fake name — Trisha Kirby in the case of Sam — was part and parcel of the whole thing.
In the case of Melanie Puckett, the concept had worked out very well.
But this was absolutely not the case for Samantha.
She had been turning into a worse rogue and mugger than ever before during her few weeks at Pacific Coast Academy.
One of her worst habits was that of borrowing money from teachers.
Samantha had thereupon pickpocketed the money for debts from other kids. Sometimes she had also plainly cheated on them, promosing to pay her debts back and stuff. But of course she had never ever done anything to get anywhere near even.
After Samantha’s expulsion, most of the teachers and pupils had forgotten about the loans and debts.
Apparently this habitude of Samantha Puckett’s had never stopped even upon her return to Seattle.
But this time, Carly Shay and Fredward Benson had been her main victims.
The debts must have accumulated to some value of way over five hundred bucks.
This was too much.
Now Samantha used the web show mercilessly in order to beg the kids for sending them bucks.
Stacey smiled. She was up to making and selling cotton swab sculptures in order to be able to sent the bucks made that way to Samantha, allowing her to pay back Carly and Freddie. “They will need it for their wedding trip.”
Carly was not present at her own web show.
This was due to her ongoing obsession with Spencer’s stone age arcade game.
Zoey Brooks shook her head. “Stacey, don’t you remember?”
Stacey shrugged.
Zoey explained, “you have already made three sculptures for Spencer Shay.”
Stacey nodded proudly.
Zoey continued, “The sculptures were valued quite a few hundreds of bucks for Spencer.”
Stacey giggled merrily.
Zoey continued, “but have you ever seen one buck in return?”
Stacey shook her head. “Why would I?”
Zoey sighed deeply. “You get shamelessly abused by them. And you don’t even notive that!”
Alas, Stacey Dillsen did by no means whatsoever consider this as an abuse.
It was impossible for Zoey Brooks to talk any sense into Stacey Dillsen.
But she could not allow for her archenemy Trisha Kirby to ruin the lives of even more people. Zoey was not exactly giving in.
Anyways, begging kids over the interweb to donate bucks did not seem right.
There should have been some laws against it.
Well, technically, Stacey was no longer a kid.
Zoey was not sure about the exact date of Stacey’s birthday.
But Stacey was not the only one at Pacific Coast Academy willing to do something in order to help Samantha Puckett repay her debts.
Strangely, even Dustin wanted to contribute something.
And Trisha alias Sam even owed him a few bucks from the bad old times.
Zoey was not yet sure about the things to do after high school.
One option was that of preparing for law school.
But Zoey’s eneavour was largely inferior to that of one Claire Sawyer from James K. Polk High School.
Claire was commonly referred to as “the future lawyer”.
This said about everything, didn’t it?
Zoey knew Claire from some informational event for potentionl postulants for law schools in California.
Claire’s better knowledge was hardly bearable for Zoey.
The blond Mary Sue had henceforth decided to consider something else.
Many fellow pupils of Zoey wanted her to become a fashion designer.
This was especially the case for Lola Martinez.
The diva was yotally addicted to being seen in remarkable clothes.
But Zoey’s parents did not like that idea at all.
Zoey had not dared to bother Claire.
Chase Bartholomew Matthews had been forced to do that for her.
Claire Sawyer took the time in order to listen to the story. And then she finally concluded, “calling minors for donations over the interweb is illegal.”
Zoey smiled. “So Samantha will go to youth prison for that?”
Claire shrugged. “She had got thirty days in order to send everything back.”
Alas, eighteen years old Stacey Dillsen was not covered by that law.
Zoey Brooks still needced to find a way to prevent Stacey Dillsen from getting sucked dry by the vampirical bitch going by the name of Samantha Puckett alias Trisha Kirby.
The parents of Stacey were now too busy with their divorce to care about Stacey.
Eric Blonowitz was hard to talk to.
There was still that one Suzanne Dillsen, elder sister of Stacey.
Mississippi was not around the corner.
But Zoey had still got relatives in Louisiana, neighbouring Mississippi.
For Samantha, this would mean more debts. She would have to pay for the fees for sending all the money back.
Fredward was equally involved. Instead of getting money from Samantha, he would lose alot of his own, and have to lend Sam bucks for paying for her fees.
Marissa Benson, the mother of Fredward, would not be keen on that.
The same day, Garth Burman had started interviews for the position of a new Dean. He had not been feeling comfortable, though.
The troubles of Dean Rivers were all connected to his problems with his wife.
The impending divorce, plus a few months of recovery, would possibly make it possible to resume his job.
For that avail, Mr. Burman only wanted a temporary substitute.
Mr. Bender was tired of all the extra work. He was a much better teacher than administrator.
Burman wanted the students to help him choose an appropriate canditate.
Zoey, Quinn, and Stacey were chosen in order to interview the canditates..
This was a big responsibility.
Dustin Brooks urged his elder sister to choose well.
Well, the choice was still up to the board.
But the youger students would hold Zoey and the other seniors responsible, anyways.
Table of Contents
Casting shows had always been very popular, especially those with active participation of the viewers out there.
The improvement of technologies had increased their significance.
During Malcolm Reese’s youth, only selected viewers could be polled.
The interweb provided for a first boost.
The same was was valid for the introduction of the short message service.
Now a days, gazillions of viewers from all over the land participated actively in those shows, such as Big Sister[big sister].
This was by no means different at Pacific Coast Academy.
America Sings was now particularly interesting for students of Pacific Coast Academy.
This was due to the presence of Lisa Perkins, aforementioned arrogant teenage pop diva.
It was already the second season for the singing mulata in that show.
During the first season, she had make it among the top ten.
This had already appeared as a great success.
But the expectations for this second year had turned a lot greater.
This was due to the intervention of Drake Parker.
Without Drake, Lisa would always have stayed an underachiever in the big scene.
Most boys would have been like a heavy iron ball chained to Lisa’s legs.
But band leader Drake Parker was totally different.
Michael Barret and Wendy Gellar were now writing the tunes for their former crushes.
This way, there was a real chance for Lisa Perkins to make it into the big finale.
This year, the group of judges had changed.
Ron Dee Jackson[ron dee jackson], the founder of the show, was still in office.
But the head of the jurors was now Gustavo Rocque. He was a choleric fascist. He yelled often at the canditates. Tonight, Lisa Perkins was his main victim.
Your voice is good.
But that doesn’t good it.
I don’t want “good”, I want “fantabulous”!
Lisa’s brittle bones and marrow vibrated like during an earth quake.
The judges in the studio were not omnipotent, though.
The viewers out on TV had something to say, too.
And the majority of the kids at Pacific Coast Academy were sttill in favour of Lisa Perkins.
But the humiliation was big.
Lisa Perkins would hardly be able to continue like this forever and one day. For now, she was totally intimidated and close to freaking out.
The kids from Bushwell Plaza were totally addicted to the cream pies of some baker named Gallini[gallini]
.
But he had been already very old. And now he died.
This was a catastrophe for the stomach of Samantha Puckett.
Gallini had always kept his recipes a secret.
For that reason, the web show begged for recipes for cream pies.
Stacey was up to submitting a recipe for cotton swab cream pies.
Zoey took a look at it. “Are you crazy?”
Stacey looked aghast.
Zoey growled,
Carpenter’s glue is toxic.
And cotton swabs are not digestable.
Stacey squealed and soibbed piteously.
Fortunately, Zoey Brooks knew a giood recipe for cream pies.
It could not hold a candle to Evelyn Wexler’s secret cream cakes. It was not the same flavour as Gallinini’s
Zoey really did not know why to to do this. She did not mind Trisha alias Sam getting poisoned. But she did not want exactly want Fredward Benson to die as well.
Spencer and Carly appeared still to be mindless addicts of the ancient arcade game.
Zoey decided tro visit Seattle over the Christmas break and look after those creeps. She just needed to ask Quinn for a lift. She had trusted them her old radio set. In addition, she was still curious.
A year ago, Spencer had appeared in Los Angeles with a pair of multi coloured socks.
Zoey had designed them, but never sold anywhere outside the campus of Pacific Coast Academy.
The list of applicants for the office of the new dean of Pacific Coast Academy was already pretty long.
Mr. Bender gave Zoey a list.
The blond Mary Sue choked. “Gustavo Rocque? The creep from America Sings?”
Mr. Bender nodded solemnly. “He has formally applied for this position.”
Zoey asked, “does he have the necessary qualifications?”
Mr. Bender shook his head rigorously. “This is not really necessay at private schools.”
Indeed, Mr. Bradford could have employed anyone.
His decisions were really like the infamous sword of Damocles.
Zoey shrugged desperately. She had already got a hard time with Lisa Perkins during those days.
Maybe the latter’s depression was a just punishment for her perverse demeanour towards Stacey Dillsen.
But Zoey saw no connection. She was seriously worried, nevertheless.
Gustavo Rocque as a dean would have killed Lisa.
Zoey went further through the list. “Ms. Park?” She had never heard of her.
Mr. Bendeer sighed. “She teaches at some district school in New York City”.
That school happened to be that of aforementioned Mikey Jay.
The latter had heard during the summer camp about the desperate situation at Pacific Coast Academy. And thus he had suggested Ms. Park to apply here.
In addition. Ms. Park was a second cousin of Kazu.
The chef of Sushi Rox had never mentioned her by name, though.
The third possible canditate was Mr. Crubs, hitherto principal at aforementioned James K. Polk.
This option appeared even worse.
Just as quite a few other kids at Pacific Coast Academy, Zoey had just read The Declassified School Survival Guide, a print on demand book authored by Edmond Bigby during his time as a middle school student at James K. Polk.
There had been many black records.
This promised nothing good.
In any case, the interviews would start even before the Christmas break.
Bradford and Burman wanted a new Dean right at the start of the new year.
Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett, and Carly Shay had received the recipe and tried it.
Zoey’s pies were infinitely much better than those of Gallini.
That baker was thus forgotten pretty fast.
Now all viewers of the web show were more and more going to be addicted to the pies.
Zoey was totally exhausted. She had interviews Rocque, Park, and Crubs for several hours straight.
Mr. Rocque wanted just a school in order to teach his teenage stars, alias “dogs”. He did not trust any school not under his control.
Zoey shook her head. “Holluwood School for the Professional Performance Art is so uch more like it, for future rock stars.”
Mr. Rocque looked consternate. “The idea is brilliant!”
His voice made the whole campus tremble.
Gustavo Rocque claimed, “It is now my idea!” He thundered, “>Consider that school bought!”
Zoey shrugged.
So it was now down to two canditates.
But Mr. Crubs retired soon thereafter. He was scared by Bigby’s school survival guide. He had hoped it to be unknown outside his old school. But he had been wrong.
At least the guide was only available in Los Angeles area.
But this would sooner or later change.
And then Mr. Crubs would bettermigrate to Canada or worse.
Ms. Park was thus the last remaining canditat and would be emplyed for sure.
Would this be an advantage or an obstacle for Stacey’s career?
[big sister] spoof of third-party owned Big Brother.
[ron dee jackson] mentioned in iCarly : iSpy A Mean Teacher
[gallini] cf. iCarly : iPie
Table of Contents
Christmas break had just started.
California was still mild.
But Christmas was now around the corner.
Zoey Brooks had askes Quinn for a lift to Seattle.
The geek lady liked that idea.
There were so many places in Seattle to be shown to Zoey.
Of course, Zoey was not exactly interested in those. She just needed to talk ssome serious words to Spencer Shay.
Stacey Dillsen was also coming along with them. She did not yet feel used by Spencer. But she had got no better place to stay, anyways.
Stacey’s parents were still at each other’s throat.
The divorce had been delayed until the begin of the following year.
It was definitely not a place for Stacey to call her home.
Not even her sister Suzanne was an option. She was probably making out with hot medics such as Dr. Hollywood all Christmas time through.
Dustin Brooks was also accompanying Zoey to Seattle. He was one of the biggest fans of Carly’s web show, ever, He suffered badly from the decay of quality since the start of Carly’s addiction to ancient arcade games. But he could nderstand that. Three years ago, he had been addicted to a space invasion video game.
Only a power failure had prevented him from beating the absolute high score.[power failure] Maybe Dustin was able to talk some kind of sort of sense into Carly. Alas, he blushed all the time when seeing carly Shay online.
Already the visit of the kids from Seattle for the barbecue fest had been troublesome.
Stacey Dillsen was fortunately by no means aware of Dustin’s feelings for Carly. Otherwise she would have inflicted some horrible pains on that dangerous “Creddie killer”. She was still manically obsessed with the concept of Carly Shay and Fredward Benson as a couple.
Quinn could not care any less about all that. She started the motor of her car. She had tuned it manually.
It relied on the same principle as the race cart used by Chase Bartholomew Matthews back in that fatal race against Logan Reese.
Quinn’s car started like a rocket.
Zoey was flabbergasted. She wanted Quinn to drive in a safe manner.
But her words fell like silent snow flakes.
Zoey started regretting her choice of Quinn as a means of getting to Seattle.
But now it was too late.
It was now Christmas Eve at Bushwell Plaza.
Excessively evil doorman Lewbert was watching over his lobby. He had got his limbs in plaster cast after some cruel prank performed by Fredward Benson and Samantha Puckett. And he yelled at all inhabitants and visitors alike in a most perverse manner, just as usual.
Dustin sighed. “Megan should pull some really brute prank on the creep.”
Megan Parker was well known for her pranks, especially those on her “boobs”. viz. Drake Parker and Josh Nichols. And she was an alike looking cousin of Carly Shay.
Zoey Brooks did usually not approve of Megan’s deeds. But this time she could not desist from agreeing with Dustin’s suggestion.
Stacey had made a cotton swab model of “Bushwell Plaza” during the trip to Seattle. She was very proud of it.
This was nothing unusual, either.
Having snuck past Lewbert. the gang from Malibu made its way up to the eighth floor, the habitat of Spencer, Carly, and Fredward.
Suddenly, insane squeals were heard.
Carly, Freddie, and Sam cursed about Fire.
Dustin squealed.
Fortunately, the situation was totally under control.
But this was nothing unusual in “Bushwell Plaza”.
Truth spoken, Spencer Shay was always too prone to setting his environment ablazing.
This time, it happened to be a self made Christmas tree, built from random metal junk found at the nearby trash yard.
Zoey shook her head. She asked sternly, “who made this irresponsible freak guardian over a teenage girl?”
Now it was time for some serious talk between Zoey Brooks and Spencer Shay.
Spencer was not really willing. He could not keep his attention off the panel of the rusty arcade machine.
But Zoey Brooks did not give up. She grabbed Spencer and pulled him off the device.
Spencer yelled for Carly’s help.
But the little web star just giggled. “He should really do some sports.”
Quinn and Dustin followed Fredward, Carly, and Samantha up to the attic.
Quinn wanted to examine Freddie’s technology. “An upgrade to the new version of Quinndoze QP would cerainly boost the efficience of the web show by at least one third.”
This was the place for the production of the web show.
Stacey was doing some monologues about cotton swabs.
Spencer refused to see Zoey’s points, be it about his ongoing abuse of Stacey Dillsen, nor about his way of neglecting Carly.
Zoey panted heavily. Then she saw his fanciful socks. “This is my design.”
Spencer glared aghast.
Zoey urged him to name his source.
Spencer told some nonsense about a certain Socko.
But this was nothing but a stupid habitual lie.
After ten minutes of tickle torture, Spencer broke down. “I bough these socks from Melinda Crenshaw[melinda crenshaw]
from San Diego.”
Zoey Brooks had never heard that name. But indeed shew knew the person as such, just using a fake name. She was thus not aware of it.
Spencer explained, “Mindy is the on and off girlfriend of a colleague of my cousin Steve, at Première Theater in San Diego.”
Zoey asked, “so, who is that colleague?”
Spencersuspired. “Joshuah Nichols.”
Zoey choked. “The step brother of Drake Parker, the greatest rock idol ever?”
Spencer nodded in a timid manner.
Zoey had heard about Josh, but she had never ever cared about it.
Audrey parker, the step mother of the same guy, was now working as the dormitory adviser responsible for Zoey and the other girls at Pacific Coast Academy.
This was a really hot trace.
Zoey released Spencer. “OK, I will check.”
But Spencer also had to promise to take better care of Carly, and to mention at least Stacey as the real sculptor behind the cotton swab works. Then she admired Spencer’s other older sculptures. She was totally possessed by the master piece using all the old radio devices.
Dustin had been like consternated due to being too embarrassed by the vicinity to Carly. He had tried hard to say something.
Fortunately, Carly was rather looking at the arcade machine than at Dustin.
This allowed Zoey’s little brother to get in a word, every now and then. Dustin talked about his failed attempt of beating the high score in a space game.
Carly was shocked. “I hate power failures. They are almost as bad as Spencer’s automatically combusting sculptures.”
Dustin nodded sadly.
Carly decided, “OK, maybe once a week is enough?”
Dustin nodded. “Probably …”
Carly turned around and looked at Dustin.
Zoey’s brother blushed almost to death and stopped breathing.
Suddenly, Zoey Brooks walked in. “We have to be at Quinn’s in an hour.” She commanded Dustin to get ready.
Dustin was still a bit puzzled. But then he walked on.
Carly could not yet make much sense of it. She needed to ask an expert.
The rain kept whipping the city of Seattle.
Now it was time for the kids from Pacific Coast Academy to make it back to their school.
Dustin hated the weather of Seattle. But he liked a certain someone from that town more than anything else. And he was unable to admit to it.
Zoey, on the other hand, was totally glad about the outcome of her visit to Seattle. Now she had to ask Audrey Parker about Melinda Crenshaw.
[power failure] cf. Zoey 101 : Back At PCA
[melinda crenshaw] This recurring Drake & Josh character is identified with the anonymous rôle of the same actress in Zoey 101 : Backpack.
Table of Contents
The web show of Carly Shay had soon thereupon resumed its usual course.
Carly was the coolest moderator, ever, just as before her addiction to the ancient video game.
Today, the son of Seattle’s greatest car vendor, Don Flunken[don flunken], asked a riddle to the viewers.
The first to answer the right way would win a new car.
The question was about a cowboy coming to down on a Friday and leaving three days later, equally on a Friday.
The solution was that of “Friday” being the name of his horse.
Eric and Stacey were the first to find out.
In other words, they were the ones to win a new car.
Unfortunately there was a problem with the ew car.
Carly Shay, Fredward Beson, and Samantha Puckett had made it to Don Fklunken in order to get the new car.
But the car vendor did not know anything. He had not even got a son.
In other words, there had been a fake.
Someone must have made a joke in order to embarrass iCarly.
Stacey Dillsen sensed Nevel Papperman behind it, another wannabe “Creddie killer”. She cursed violently about those.
Dustin shivered. He feared the worst in the case of coming out, such like getting tortured to death with cotton swabs.
In any case, Stacey was now disappointed.
Zoey already threatened to inform Claire Sawyer and let her sue the web show, forcing it to go offline for good.
But Stacey did not want that.
Anyways, Spencer’s pal “Socko” appeared to have some uncle named “Otto”, a vendor for used cars.
Of course, a used car was not a new car.
Zoey turned impatient.
But Stacey did not want Claire Sawyer to do anything. She had never seen the old car before.
In her eyes, the car was thus new, as in hitherto unbeknownst, or not familiar, and so on and stuff.
Zoey sighed deeply.
But Stacey’s interpretation was not wrong.
And Stacey was totally happy with the new used car. She could finally transport her cotton swab sculptures with it.
Due to the efforts of Drake Parker, Lisa Perkins recovered fast from her depression.
Drake knew Gustavo Rocque.
The choleric creep was always up to treating his greatest talents, known as dogs, like that.
Over the Christmas break, Gustavo Rocque had contracted a new boy band from Minnesota.
Kendall Knight, Logan Mitchell, James Diamond, and Carlos Garcia would assume their new career in California.
Drake already pitied those victims.
There was no escape.
In any case, Drake’s impact gave Lisa the necessary strength to severe in the course of America Sings and make it into the grand finale, beating even supertalent and girls’ heartthrob David R. Couleda.[david r couleda].
The final opponent was now one Wade Collins[wade collins], as arrogant as Lisa Perkins, but way less gifted.
The moment of truth was near.
The question was now: Wade or Lisa?
The lame moderater had postponed teh decision until after some commercial break.
Those interruptions were absolutely annoying.
This was probably the reason for so many kids switching to web shows.
Finally, the great moment had come.
The stupid modereator announced, “and the winner is … Lisa Perkins!”.
Stacey was the only one to be indifferent about the decision. She was not picky. She deemed David hotter, but she already had Eric Blonowitz, someone infinitely better than any of those hot guys.
The latter were nothing but a bunch of jerks and creeps, as best seen in the case of Logan Reese.
But everyone else at Pacific Coast Academy was cheering the living hell.
Without Drake’s support, Lisa would have gone completely over the edge long ago.
But then, Wade declared to need the bucks in order to afford some necessary surgery for his sick mother.
Zoey sighed. “Oh no …”
Stacey accused Lisa of being a mom killer.
But now Lisa Perkins would certainly start to feel bad.
Fortunately, Quinn Pensky knew a perfect solution. “I will perform the surgery … for free!”
This way, there was no need for Lisa to show remorses.
Zoey noddded solemnly. She did not really trust in Quinn’s surgery skills, though.
The fun videos of Fredrick Ficklehorn[fredrick ficklehorn]
, a teenager from Idaho, were very high on demand all over civuiles America, including the campus of Pacific Coast Academy.
And last night, some of Fred’s clips had been shown on Carly’s web show.
Carly and Sam had had an insane lot of fun with them.
Just Freddie had been mean enough to call the video clips not so entertaining, after all.
And now Fredrick had drawn the consequences.
A popular web site stated, “Freddie killed Fred.”
In other words, Ficklehorn was giving up.
This was probably a hell of disappointing for many fans of his videos, both in Seattle, in Los Angeles, or wherever.
And they were now about going to take it out on no other than Fredward Benson.
Only Stacey Dillsen defeded Freddie’s action. She had been originally a really great fan of Fred Ficklehorn’s videos. But now she deemed the comedian a “Creddie killer”.
Fred seems to have talked with a horny smile on his face when mentioning the word “Carly”.
Stacey Dillsen could by no means tolerate that. Fortunately, she had got a new used car by now and was therefor able drive all the way to Idaho in order to tell Fredrick Ficklehorn to take everything back.
Spencer Shay had got a talkative plastic ball shaped like a meat loaf. He named it his “magic meat ball” and used it as a sort of an oracle. He had barely recovered from his addiction to the ancient arcade game just in order to slip into another mania. Now he was obedient to the meat ball.
The evil crap thing had already ordered him to buy Quinn’s ostrich.
Potential organisers of art expositions were turned away by it.
And the cotton swab sculptures had been so promising.
Spencer would have been given a contract of two years at the local art channel for that.
But the meat ball and the ostrich spoiled it all.
Finally, Sppencer had reveiled the truth about the cotton swab sculptrures: “Stacey Dillsen from Swampscott in Massachusetts had built them!”
Of course the guys were now interested in the hitherto even more unknown sculptress.
Would this be the breakthrough for Stacey Dillsen?
[don flunken] from iCarly : iGive Away A Car
[david r couleda] from iCarly : iRock The Votes
[wade collins] from iCarly : iRock The Votes
[fredrick ficklehorn] from iCarly : iMeet Fred
Table of Contents
Due to the Christmas visit of Zoey Brooks, Carly and the gange had returned to their successful road.
Even the problem with Fredrick Ficklehorn was resolved.
Stacey Dillsen had actauuly appeared in Idaho and told Fred her opinion, especially about his ugly tree house. A few months ago, Stacey had built one on the campus of Pacific Coast Academy for Robert Carmichael[robert carmichael]
, the room mate of Dustin Brooks.
Robbie was usually a neighbour of the Parkers and the Nichols in San Diego.
Fredrick Ficklehorn did not care. “Make me a better tree house, and I will take everything back!”
It had taken Stacey two days to make the tree hous, using her skills learned from Mr. Chopsaw.
But now the new tree house was up ad running.
Fredrick Ficklehorn would even show up live in the web show.
Stacey Dillsen did not yet trust him. She deemed him able to try to seduce Carly Shay, killing thusly “Creddie”.
This would be a great improvement for the web show, though.
But there was one big disadvantage.
The success of iCarly triggered many attempts of plagiarism.
This time, a certain Dingo Channel appeared extremely suspicious.
Its shows used to be lame.
But this had changed a bit.
According to various objective viewers, the change was due to no other but copying popular segments of iCarly, such as Mess With Lewbert! or Random Dance.
The seat of Dingo was in Los Angeles.
The gang wanted to inspect the situation right at the headquarters.
Samantha Puckett did not want to come to Pacific Coast Academy for that avail. She preferred dirty old Come On Inn.
But Zoey talked Carly into showing up here. “We have got our connections and may help you.”
And Carly followed Zoey’s suggestions. “I don’t want rats and hobos in my bath tub.”
Zoey Brooks was reminded of another plagiarism. She had been the victim of one like four years ago. She told her unwary pals:
Nicole, one of my former roomied, had just spoiled a backpack for sale in the library with some goo. She did not like the design.
I designed some significant optical improvement.
The result was cool.
Some student never seen before or after at Pacific Coast Academy copied my design and started making money of it.
This only worked for a few days.
Quinn had inserted some rechnical add-ons into my backpacks, making the copied backpacks obsolete.
This put an end to the spook.
But it is still awfully creepy.
The feelong was increased by the affair involving Spencer’s socks.
This may have been a case of plagiarism as well.
Audrey Parker had been talking for hours with with Zoey Brooks.
There were so many stories to tell about the tainted on and off relationship between Mindy Crenshaw and Audrey’s step son Joshuah Nichols.
Well, honestly spoken, he would not be the step son of Audrey for all that much longer.
A few days ago, Coco Wexler had visited Audrey’s home. She had forgotten something upon in her old room. She accidentally stumbled into Walter Nichols, the inept weather frog and still husband of Audrey, still as in “not much longer”.
Walter had decided to walk away with the chubby matron.
Coco was one of the few women able to tolerate his preference for sipping on laundry sewage.
Audrey had never been able to approve of it.
Thus the choice was absolutely clear for Walter.
Stacey had to sigh deeply when listening to them talking. She still had to think about her parents’ separation. Knowing about the friendship of Eric and Joshuah, Stacey decided to consult her boyfriend.
Zoey was accompanying Stacey to Eric’s office, really just a mini lounge for the student teachers and advisers from outside the campus.
Eric Blonowitz knew Melinda Crenshaw very well. They had been class pals at Bellevie High.
Mindy and Drake were totally at each other’s throat.
And this had been the one and only big stumbling block in the relationship between Melinda and Joshuah.
Mindy had once been sent off her school.
That event had occured like four years ago.
Mindy had trued to get Drake framed for one of her deeds, an attempt of a revenge against Mrs. Heyfer, a perversely mean teacher at Belleview.
But the plan had backfired.
Mindy had returned to Belleview a few weeks later, though.
Her life between expulsion and reenrolling was completely unbeknownst.
Zoey sighed.
This sounded like the perfect character for plagiarism.
But, even more, Mindy’s absence from Belleview coincided more or less with the week of the plagiarism of Zoey’s backpacks.
Zoey sensed something bad.
Eric suggested Zoey to go to Megan Parker. “She has been the one able to stop Mindy’s evil plans of getting Drake framed.”
Stacey sighed deeply.
Spencer’s abuse of her generosity was nothing compared to Mindy’s abuse of Zoey’s creations.
Zoey was now addressing the little sister of Drake Parker. She had not been talking much to her, at least as of yet.
But now this was absolutely overdue.
Megan knew many stories about Mindy, just like her mother. But she did not feel comfortable talking about her.
Zoey did not give up. She grabbed Megan and shook her violently.
Finally, Megan broke down. “Mindy Crenshaw must be that girl.”
Zoey choked.
Megan explained,
Two years agio, Mindy had won the national science fair.
The Pacific Coast Academy wanted to invite the winner of the contest for a demonstration at Pacific Coast Academy.
Alas, Mindy had used a fake name, Paige Howard. She wantedto get back at a bunch of students at Pacific Coast Academy, especially you. She could not show up in person in order to demonstrate her invention without getting recognised. Thus she had tried to bribe me into feigning to be Paige Howard.
But I had already got too many friends at Pacific Coast Academy by then. I could not do it. Otherwise …
Zoey shuddered for excruciating disgust. But now shw knew the identity of her plagiariser. She decided to call Claire Sawyer in order to talk about serious measures.
Claire Sawyer did not only take care of Mindy Crenshaw’s continued plagiarism of the works of Zoey Brooks. She was now also taking a look at the whole dirty Dingo affair.
Carly did not necessary trust lawyers.
Spencer was a law school drop out, done after three days.
But Claire Sawyer was a lot more convincing.
Many other things showed up during Claire’s investigations.
First, there had never been a Charles Dingo, legendary founder of Dingo Channel.
Fairy tales talk about the skull of Charles Dingo being cryogenicalcally preserved in the headquarters of the broadcasting corporation.
But this was all but a fraud in order to increase public attention.The temperatures in the freezing chamber were way too high for the rumoured purpose.
Really, the company belonged to no other than Brad Eichman[brad eichman], an enemy of the web show.
Eichman was also the headmaster of Hollywood School for the Professional Performance Arts. He had once tried to turn Carly’s web show into a TV show, but he had messed it sadly and come up with a particularly lame show about some dinosaur.
But Claire Sawyer’s initiative would trigger both the end of hitherto known Dingo Channel and of Hollywood School for the Professional Performance Arts.
Malcolm Reese and his friend Mr. Griffin were going to buy the bleeding remains of Dingo as a wedding gift for Logan and Mercedes.
Hollywood School for the Professional Perkformance Arts would thenceforth be ruled by Helen Baxter, former Hollywood kid star and hitherto owner of a cinema in San Diego.
Stacey was now more and more aware of the value of her creations and no longer going to give them away carelessly.
[robert carmichael] cameo in Drake & Josh : Treehouse, identified with “Scooter” from Zoey 101 : Favor Chain
[brad eichman] This identifies Brad from iCarly : iCarly Saves TV and Principal Eichman from Victorious.
Table of Contents
It was time for yet another session of the web show.
Stacey was particularly excited.
A guy from Wisconsin had begged Carly Shay, Fredward Benson, and Samantha Puckett to deaw pictures of a bunny.
And now those pictures got reveiled.
Sam’s and Freddie’s pics were pretty much normal.
But Carly’s work was terrible.
This was embarrassing for a little sister of a great artist such as Spencer Shay.
Maybe the law school dropout was able to teach Carly a bit.
But Zoey Brooks doubted this. “Spencer is an exxtremely creative artist. But he lacks patience and concentration.” She moaned, “which adult sets everything in his environment on fire, every other minute?” She shook her head.
Stacey Dillsen had to understand: “Teaching arts is much harder than being a creative artist.”
She wanted to offer herself for teaching Carly. But maybe she was not up to that.
As going without being said, Carly would have rejected that offer on site. But she was not keen on Spencer’s style, either.
Dustin’s attempt of drawing a cute bunny was a brilliant failure, as well.
Zoey was a great designer, as demonstrated by her ability of designing backpacks. She was trying to teach Dustin some of her skills.
But this was no good, either.
Even less did Dustin want to learn from Stacy Dillsen.
Thus Dustin and Carly decided to switch siblings.
Dustin was going to learn art from Spencer.
Carly would have Zoey to teach her the same stuff.
But there was going to be a serious dispute between Spencer and Zoey concerning each other’s impossible ways of teaching arts.
Quinn Pensky was no lasering the eyes of Ma Puckett, the mother of Melanie and Samantha.
The old lady of Seattle’s organised crime needed an optic change in order to escape more and more from the view of the cops of Seattle. Since Quinn’s start of her career as a laymen surgeon Ma Puckett had changed her face several times.
The policemen were way too slow to catch up.
Zoey Brooks had designed the new face of Mrs. Puckett, inspite of hating Samantha. “Mindy Crenshaw can’t beat that!”
Right after surgery, Mrs. Puckett would drive home in her stolen car.
This would show the efficiency of the surgery.
The surgery of old Mrs. Vollins had been cancelled, by the way.
The matron was not really sick. She had just been feigning.
Wade Collins was a mean charlatan.
The sister of Wade, principal of Palmwood, had reveiled the fraud.
Quinn was disappointed.
As aforementioned, Ms. Park from new York City was the new replacement of Dean Rivers.
Some of the kids would have preferred Gustavo Rocque, though.
Ms. Park could be really stern, just not as much as Dean Rrivers in his worst days.
The divorce of Dean Rivers was now complete.
Due to Claire Sawyer’s intervention, his wife was obstructed from taking everything away from him, as planned.
This allowed for a faster recovery of the former headmaster of Pacific Coast Academy, much earlier than previously planned by Garth Burman.
Now Dean Rivers was about coming back.
What would Ms. Park do? She was certainly not prepared for having to leave her position that early.
There was going to be some kind of sort of a clash.
Ms. Park complained a lot about all the ungrateful kids.
This was said to be no different than the situation at her old school, especially one Ryan Laserbeam, a friend of aforementioned Mikey Jay.
Ms. Park also mentioned another friend of Ryan Laserbeam, a certain True Jackson. “The lass is only fifteen, but already the vice president of one of New York City’s biggest fashion labels.”
Zoey Brooks gasped upon hearing that. She was more and more interested in following her artistic inclinations and aiming for a career as a fashion designer.
Contacts to fashion labels were of course more than welcome.
Ms. Park would help Zoey with those contacts.
But the blond Mary Sue would then also have to support Ms. Park’s issues, allowing her to stay in her position as a principal of Pacific Coast Academy.
The fashion label turned out to be Mad Style.
Finally, Carly and Dustin were even disappointed by their respective chosen teachers for art.
Dustin was annoyed by Spencer’s commands to build sculptures from random trash.
Carly was bored to death by Zoey’s instructions of drawing straight lines.
But, all of a sudden, an even better teacher for art showed up.
True Jackson, aforementioned fashion designer in a highly responsible position at Mad Style, was of course also a great artist. Inspite of havibng had troubles in teaching fashion design to her own best friend, a certain Lulu, she declared herself ready to teach both Dustin and Carly in arts. She also wanted Zoey Brooks to join Mad Styel. “Together, we can beat obnoxious Amanda Cantwell’s butt bleeding!”
Amanda was an excessively arrogant and mean vice president at Mad Style.
Stacey was particularly excited. She wanted to show her design of her own prom gown, made of cotton swabs and white glue, to True Jackson.
Zoey may not have been fully successful in her attempts of promoting the issues of Ms. Park.
But at least she was able to let Ms. Park in her office until the end opf the current year.
Dean Rivers and Ms. Park woulkd have to share the honour of giving a most boring speech at the opening of the prom.
Pupils always hated those stupid words.
Fortunately, this year, it was spiced up by a dispute between Ms. Park and Mr. Rivers about the duties of headmasters.
This was rather funny to watch.
Megan Parker, one of the middle school kids caring for the prom buffet, made a practical joke, tying the bootstraps of bith of the co-principals together.
The bickering colleagues did not notice that.
All of a sudden, Ms. Park stumbled, fell, and landed in the arms of Mr. Rivers.
Zoey snickered. “I know the culprit behind this!” She whistled innocently.
The other kids chanted, “cuddle! Cuddle! Cuddle!”
Dean Rivers would probably be married again sooner than expected.
At least the prom ball was open.
Lola was a bit late, and in a torn outfit. She excused herself,
I wanted to appear with my acting colleague, Beck Oliver.
He’s really hot and an excellent kisser.
But his girlfriend Jade West, the creepy goth girl and exorcist, is a perverse fury.
Zoey sighed deeply. She had designed Lola’s prom dress and was now forced to see it in pieces. She was still wearing her own. But the blond Mary Suye had to do without a prom partner.
Eric and Stacey were already dancing all over the hall.
The same was valid for Addie and Chase, and for Wendy and Michael.
Drake and Lisa were once more performing as the wedding band.
Zoey sighed about her loneloness.
Suddenly, Spencer Shay burst into the prom hall and started yelling at Zoey, complaining about her understanding of teaching art. He took some red salsa and palmed Zoey’s face with it.
The blond Mary Sue took some yellow salsa and used it in order to ornate Sopencer’s face.
That meant war of arts.
Stacey tried to pull them apart. “You are both hreat artists.”
Unfortunately, other pupils were instigating the bickering artists even more.
Finally, security had to throw them out.
Quinn Pensky had been alone at the prom, too. But she received a phone call. “Cal? Where are you?”
Cal was her upstream provider with dangerous and rare reagents for her experments, especially uranium. A few days ago, he had barely escaped from gettuing arrested in Seattle after having shown Carly Shay to build an environment-friendly power plant, using compressed pulverised uranium.
Unfortunately, the vulgar mass of mankind was allergic to scientific progress.
Now Cal was hiding and fleeing.
It was no longer easy for Quinn to access her necessary resources.
In this moment, she decided to elope with Cal, nbot caring about the maddening masses. She would never be seen again in public.
Spencer and Zoey were now at the campus fountain.
This was a perfect occasion for getting rid of the filth in their face.
Spencer sighed. “Sorry for dying your face all red.”
Zoey felt equally sorry for dying Spencer’s face all yellow.
They decided to mix the salsas. After making out for a few seconds, both of them were all orange in their face.
Stacey smiled when walking past them, side by side with Eric. “That is most beautiful art!”
Eric held a particular surprise for Stacey in his hands, a little box with a bow on it.
Table of Contents
A few months ago, Stacey had made a sculpture requested by one of Spencer’s customers.
The brother of the client owned art halls in Seattle and Vancouver.
At that moment, Spencer had passed himself off as the author of teh sculptures.
Only the accident with the “magic meat ball” had changed this.
Organisers of art expositions became now slowly aware of Stacey’s incredible talent.
The happy customers of Spencer Shay, now aware of the real artist behind all that,
Unfortunately, Stacey’s style was too unconventional for the American pop artists’ market.
But Harry Joiner, the messiah of Northern American pop arts, knew a scapehole.
In South America, unconventional arts rejected on the US American, Canadian, and especially European market was becoming more and more popular.
Harry had already heard about Stacey’s talent from Henry Doheny. He had been too busy travelling the world for more expositions and wart conventions: Rio de Janeiro, Tokyo, Paris, et alibi.
But only the intervention of his other great friend Maximillian Madigan, the owner of Mad Style.
The art galery of one of Spencer’s customers had been cooperating with Mad Style at the annual Boston tea party in Massachusettes, the homeland of Stacey Dillsen.
This year, the party would feature for the first time sweet rice cakes made by Evvy Wexler and Kazu.
Too bad Stacey had never been invited to that party, less than half an hour from her “home”.
But this would change in a bit.
Harry Joiner had seen many art expositions around the whole world during his trips.
Some of them would have been glad for hosting Stacey’s fantabulous cotton swab arts.
The most interested of all of them was the Museo de Arte de Lima.
The director was particularly stunned by the similarity of one of Stacey’s works with the arts of the precolumbian civilisation of Perou, the empire of the Inka.
This was completely random.
Stacey had sometimes build the art works emulating the great works of many exotic peoples. But she had never tried deliberately to emulate their traditional arts.
Before Stacey’s first trip to Lima in order to attend the start of the exposition of her cotton swab arts, Stacey Dillsen was making another important step for life.
This was the great day of her wedding with Eric Blonowitz.
There had never been a wedding on the campuys of Pacific Coast Academy before.
So someone had to make the first step.
The wedding was conducted by Father MacCurdy[father maccurdy]
Stacey had chosen Zoey Brooks as her maid of honour.
Other bride maids were Carly Shay, Mindy Crenshaw, and Samantha Puckett.
Eric’s best man was Spencer Shay.
The remaining groomsguys were Dustin Brooks, Joshuah Nichols, and Fredward Benson.
None of Stacey’s relatives showed up at her wedding, not even uncle Felix or sister Suzanne.
This was due to the ongoing divorce war.
So Harry Joiner had made it there in order to guide Stacey down the infamous aisle.
Stacey would have liked to marry in a self made gown of cotton swabs and whhite glue.
But Max Madigan, the sponsor of teh whole event, insisted in using True Jackson’s latest design for that purpose.
It looked particularly nice on Stacey and on Eric.
Megan Parker, the world’s most gifted solo oboe, was ready to pblow the Bridal Chorus from Richard Wagner’s great opera Lohengrin. She was accompanied by her new crush, backup pianist Nevel Papperman.
The lyrics were to be sung by some “Coconut Head” from James K. Polk High.
The music filled the air.
Faithful and true
We lead ye forth
Where love triumphant
Shall crown ye with joy.Star of renown
Flower of the earth
Blest be ye both far
From all life’s annoy.Champion victorious,
Go thou before!
Maid, bride and glorious,
Go thou before!
A few minutes later, Eric and Stacey exchanged rings and said the big words.
Spencer and Zoey caught the garter and the bouquet, respectrively.
Sam and Father Maccurdy hurried to the wqedding buffet prepared by Kazu and Evvy.
The wedding happened to be the great test for the upcoming wedding of Ms. Park and Mr. Rivers.
Fortunately, everything went well.
Lima could be terrible at this time of the year. It was always overcrowded and merciless, anyways, much more corrupt than European and US American cities of that size.
Captain Steubing[steubing]
Stacey had now been waiting for this moment for several years.
So, this was the great day.
Lima being that dangerous, Stacey was granted a body guard.
Shelby Marx, alike looking younger sister of Lola Martinez, had been chosen for that purpose. Inspite of her denial of her Latina roots, the hot blooded criolla knew Spanish very well.
Stacey did not do so at all.
This was the main reason for choosing Shelby.
The event itself, however, was conducted in the English language.
Harry Joiner was about giving the main speech, followed by the director of the museum, the press speaker of the Peruvian department of culture, and by the mayor of Lima.
This could be absolutely boring.
Many reporters from the greatest broadcasting centres and newspapers of South America were present.
Joiner suspiered deeply.
The age of the Peruvian culture is well respected.
Francisco Pizarro, the Spanish conqueror of the land, was a thug and a murderer.
But now there’s a new conquest of Peru.
This one is not by means of war, but by means of art.
The swab arts of Stacey Dillsen came, saw, and cconquered this land of old traditions.
Not all of the onlookers understood Harry Joiner.
But a round ofg applause was due for Stacey anyways.
Surporisingly, Megan and Nevel showed up in order to perform the triumphal ode from Giuseppe Verdi’s Aida for the glorious sotton swab queen.
Zoey Brooks would soon work for Maximillian Madigan in New York City.
Chase Matthews and his Addie would take over the Broadway in the same city.
Michael and Wendy would work for Gustavo Rocque as his substitutes.
Lola Martinez would successfully pry loose her beloved Beck Oliver from the murderous claws and fangs of goth girl Jade West.
The latter had only tried to perform some form of exorcism on Beck. She believed in a deal of Beck with Satan in order to become a big Hollywood star. “The same goes for all successful Hollywood creeps.”
Carly, Freddie, and Sam would return to Pacific Coast Academy as students.
This way, Dustin was now closer and closer to his beloved Carly.
Lima was only the start of the great renown of Stacey Dillsen.
Many expositions in other countries around teh world would follow.
Last but not least, even Swampscott in Massachusetts would established a museum of cotton swab arts in the honour of Stacey Dillsen.
And Pacific Coast Academy would name one of its restructured administration buildings “Dillsen Hall”, following aforementioned cotton swab model.
The End
[father maccurdy] mentioned in iCarly : iWant A Record, the world’s fattest priest.
[steubing] mentioned in Victorious : WiiFi In The Sky
